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Real Housewives Of Atlanta Recap: Kandi Got 45 Problems And Porsha Is Number One!

Did she, or did she not?! Did Porsha Williams attack someone at Kandi Burruss‘ party, I mean because that’s all anyone talked about on last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta.

The drama began when Kandi threw Todd Tucker a Michael Jordan themed 45th birthday party. Being benevolent (Or something like that!) Kandi invited Porsha and Dennis McKinley. And because parties are gathering places to bring people together from all sides of the spectrum Kandi also invited her “worker” Jami. Jami happens to be friends with Dennis’ ex Sherri. Sherri happens to be tattooed on Dennis’s body, and Jami happened to bring Sherri as her plus one. And then Sheri happened to loiter around Porsha and Dennis until Porsha walked away, then Sherri walked over to Dennis and gave him a hug and a kiss, just as Porsha happened to walk back over. Obviously Porsha got a little miffed and confronted Sherri. Wouldn’t you?

Cynthia & Noelle

Happy New Year! The very last Real Housewives Of Atlanta of 2018 was an episode full of goodbyes, family, and rebirths but next week, once we’re firmly ensconced in 2019 the fighting resumes!

Cynthia Bailey is sending Noelle off to Howard University where she’ll be studying dentistry. Days before Noelle is supposed to leave the serenity of Lake Bailey, right in the middle of her going away party, she starts having a panic attack. All totally normal except for the cameras filming as Noelle as slumped on the ground in fetal position sobbing into Cynthia’s lap.

Lisa Vanderpump

So, nothing really happened on last night’s Vanderpump Rules except that James Kennedy got fired and Brittany Cartwright made goopy neon orange sauce from stale beer, gourmet cheese, and ranch dressing. BECAUSE NO ONE HAS EVER DISCOVERED THE SPLENDORS OF BEER CHEESE.

James can’t eat beer cheese though because he’s given up alcohol for the 300th time. That, my friend, is a blessing in disguise. I have tasted this mythic beer goop that only comes from the bosom of mammaw’s Kentucky paws, you know, and meh. 

.Shamari DeVoe

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta the women were still in Destin, FL. With everyone mostly getting along, NeNe Leakes had to invent shady games to try and provoke arguments. Even that didn’t really work!

I can’t say I mind the dynamic of RHOA this season. I know people are already complaining that it’s boring and dry. But, we all saw NeNe attempting to create issues with newbie Tanya Sam whom she actually brought onto the show as her friend. However, so far I’m enjoying the light shade and goofy camaraderie. It actually reminds of early seasons, before people were twirling up messes and getting dragged across reunion stages by their mostly real hair. I’m not blaming Kenya Moore, I just think that a group of women who conceivably know each other, have longtime roots in the area, and mostly get along provides a lot more authentic drama.

Laura Betancourt

On last night’s Below Deck things got really really, REALLY deep. Like penetrating each other in the bunk beds deep and delving into people’s inner psychological matter deep. All the shenanigans make it hard to remember that just 3 days earlier Ashton Pienaar nearly died. He is still wearing the ankle brace to prove it!

With just 36 hours before the new charter arrives the crew heads out for a much-needed break from the close confines of My Stupida. Ashton is especially ready to let loose and be grateful for this amazing life he still gets to lead. Ashton and Ross Inia have evolved from crewmates to soulmates. They have a sweet moment where they discuss survival and friendship. The most detrimental thing they now have to face is Rhylee Gerber!

Raquel Leviss

On last night’s Vanderpump Rules the quest to destroy James Kennedy continued. Will he be victorious?! Read on to find out…. or at least hear more about what happened.

Back in the trenches of SUR, the dumpster cesspool is oozing with slime and gooey particles as everyone watches the time bomb that is James‘ sex life explode. After calling Katie Maloney too fat for her green shorts, James storms out. He does a lap around the building and ends up at Jax Taylor‘s little bar shack as he is scrambling to remember what goes in a Pumptini.

Stassi Schroeder is just complaining about James being unhinged, and like that moment in a horror movie where you just know the heroine (it pains me to compare Stassi to a heroine) is about to get killed, James lurks right behind wielding an insult about dildos. Does it have spikes – we know Stassi loves those sort of things as weapons!

NeNe Leakes in Destin, FL

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta a couple’s trip turned into a girl’s trip which means people squabbling over petty things like its their job. Oh wait, on this show it is!

Porsha Williams is newly pregnant and realizes she has to work to support this baby! At the Original Hot Dog Factory, that is. She is living the dream – working side by side with her hot dog of a man, Dennis McKinley, while carrying his bun in her oven. This little pork party is broken up by Dennis’s mother “Mama G” who has all eyes on Porsha. Especially her work ethic!

LeeAnne Locken RHOD reunion

Last night was part two of the Real Housewives Of Dallas reunion which also marked the official end of season 3. I have to say of all the Real Housewives franchises, this one is still my favorite.

Sure, Real Housewives Of Dallas could use some tweaking – like please no more Brandi Redmond vs. LeeAnne Locken feuds dominating every season Whew! We have had enough! Having LeeAnne and Brandi become BFF would be totally insincere and producer-driven. I’d like to see them settle into an acquaintanceship where they can have fun together socially (or at least be civil) and leave it at that.

I’d also love to see D’Andra Simmons go back in time and recognize it’s a wig she’s wearing on her head, not a crown, so there is no need to start petty drama with LeeAnne! Those two are much better as friends. They balance each other and have a great dynamic. This season D’Andra got too big for her britches and LeeAnne’s britches already have L’infinity egos.