On last night’s Real Housewives Of Dallas, we celebrated LeeAnne Locken‘s wedding with the first of many nonsensical parties. This particularly onerous event was a mid-afternoon circus-themed lingerie shower that was thrown by Stephanie Hollman and former Housewife Cary Deuber. Basically, LeeAnne needed them to pay for it.
Clearly, LeeAnne believes she’s owed a free party because she’s done SO much to promote Mark Deuber‘s career! In fact, all of these numerous pre-wedding festivities are basically an opportunity for LeeAnne to exploit parties and presents from people. Stephanie even says as much when she and Cary list out all the gifts they’ll have to buy and reveal that LeeAnne actually planned her entire lingerie shower herself, but had the bills sent to them.
After an eventful trip to Careyes Mexico, the Real Housewives Of Dallas are back in Texas and bonded anew. Which means they’re all invited to a circus-themed lingerie party to celebrate LeeAnne Locken‘s upcoming wedding to Rich Emberlin. Let’s hope LeeAnne doesn’t cry about being abandoned at the carnival into any bustiers.
This is just the first of LeeAnne’s many pre-wedding celebrations, but with all the drama happening at this thing, we’ll have to see if the guest list remains the same! Kary Brittingham is not impressed by the trashy festivities and wonders what kind of wedding LeeAnne plans on having. Um, a free one… and all these parties are definitely a gift grab.
Last night most of the Real Housewives Of Orange County finally escaped Arizona. All that so-called healing got left in Arizona though. In fact the only person who seemed to internalize anything was Kelly Dodd, who also got left behind in Arizona.
Kelly visited her hometown of Scottsdale to hopefully reconnect with her family. Fun fact: I went to ASU, and I have been to The Vig countless times! So that was exciting, and this where Kelly and Mary’s similarities end. Because when Kelly lived in Arizona she was getting arrested as a juvenile delinquent for setting the her catholic high school’s field on fire and brawling with old ladies at the Phoenix Open.
Kelly meets up with her BFFs to reminisce about all the times she drunkenly slapped people. Kelly is the very definition of stunted adolescence. She and Jolie live in an unintentionally Freaky Friday world where Jolie is the miniature adult attending board meetings and organizing the meal schedules for the week. If she just took over the finances…
The Jesus Barbie returns to haunt us on tonight’s Real Housewives Of Orange County. That’s right, Alexis Bellinio will be back on Bravo to open up about divorcing Chinplant Jim Bellinio and give Emily Simpson some advice about knowing when to walk away from your miserable marriage.
While the rest of the women return to the OC after the never-ending healing trip to Miraval, Kelly Dodd remains in Arizona to reconnect with her family. If Kelly can forgive Vicki Gunvalson, she can forgive anyone, right! And Kelly must be inspired because she reaches out to her brother JR about reconnecting with her estranged brother Eric and her mom, Bobbi.
Regular old Below Deck is back, they’re terrorizing beautiful Thailand, and Kate Chastain continues to be the best motivational speaker the reality TV world has ever seen. She’s really missed her calling not doing infomercials or pioneering a QVC collection selling stain-proof table linens and clothing that is both practical for scrubbing floors and fish, while remaining reasonably cute, yet wrinkle-proof!
Captain Lee Rosbach has returned to steer Valor into battle, but the battle will inevitably, only, wage on board. Joining Kate and Captain Lee is Ashton Pieneaar, who has been promoted to bosun as a reward for almost dying on Captain Lee’s watch last season.
Whew – what an emotional episode of Real Housewives Of Dallas. These ladies go there like no other franchise except for New York. They are raw, open, and funny at the same time.
So, it’s the last day in Mexico and apparently if you’re from Dallas the word Mexico means “drama”.
After a particularly heinous night fighting over who is the trash and who needs to take it out, LeeAnne Locken wakes up as a girl does: fighting with a native bird and peeing herself, which is the new coffee. Then she has a heart-to-heart with Kameron Westcott about the fight with Brandi Redmond.
Last week’s Real Housewives of Dallas ended with the ladies in complete disarray after a fight between Brandi Redmond and Kameron Westcott about what one does with napkins and trash.
Stephanie Hollman is having a difficult trip to begin with and has an emotional reaction to Kameron calling her BFF “trash.” Stephanie turns to Kary Brittingham for advice on how she should handle the delicate situation.
Watching last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County was like getting hit by the Kelly Dodd train. Her emotions were all over the place. I’m not sure if I blame the drinks or the desert, but all’s well that … Well, I don’t want to say “end,” so, “pauses(?) well,” because Kelly and Vicki Gunvalson have forged peace! Tequila for all!
The episode opens with amazing flashbacks. Like I’m watching a Dateline 48 Hours mystery, which is hilarious, because the backwards clock makes me realize it has only been TWENTY-FOUR hours.
What’s even more amusing is that this is a day in the life cycle of Vicki Gunvalson: lie, deny, blame, repeat… Vicki is angry at Kelly for lashing out at her, but Vicki continuously pokes the beehive with her witchy acrylic nail, then cries cancer when she gets stung.