We are now officially ten episodes into this season of Teen Mom 2, and I worry that there is no end in sight. All of the girls seem to be mirroring each other's behavior. Jenelle Evans moves, then Leah Messer moves. Jenelle drops out of school, Leah drops out of school. Kailyn Lowry gets a new place, Chelsea Houska wants a fenced-in backyard. I guess I should be glad that they are all pretty interchangeable, right?
Kailyn has decided against moving to Texas to be fair to Jo. He is excited to hear that she plans to stay in Pennsylvania. She informs him that when her lease is up, she plans to look for another home about twenty minutes away. Does Jo minds driving twenty minutes back and forth to see his son? Um, I think Jo is glad that he doesn't have to travel back and forth to Texas! While Jo has Isaac, Kailyn decides to go bowling with Gigi and some of her friends. Kailyn is paired up with Gigi's friend Javi, and she thinks he's really cute…cute enough to marry?
Last night the ladies of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills continued arguing, battling, passive-aggressively sniping, and being fake to each other. They all need some hobbies.
Things begin back in the Moroccan restaurant of horrors. If you can imagine things got even more atrocious. As if Mauricio Umansky whining and shrieking at Brandi Glanville wasn't bad enough, then Taylor Armstrong started with the drunk histrionics.
I think Camille Grammer said it best: "Taylor, nobody cares. We've already heard your story." This time Taylor's drunken syrupy gaze blurriedly turned towards Yolanda Foster who is apparently a bad, bad, bad person because she's married to a rich man and doesn't act like an ass every single minute. Maybe Taylor should do master cleanse. It can't hurt and it's probably better than the wine cleanse she's been doing for the past couple years.
Taylor makes some threats about how she knows what really goes on with David Foster as one her "best friends for twenty years" was married to him. She's referring to Linda Thompson. And if you recall when Taylor arrived at Yolanda and David's home the man married to one of her best friends for a zillion years had no idea who she was. It wasn't all wine and roses then either, was it Taylor. Well it was all wine…
I'm still not sure how I feel about this new group VH1 has pulled together for the new season of Love & Hip Hop. Some seem incredibly boring, while others (cough, coughErica Mena) are too over the top. Speaking of, Erica was still keeping it classy on last night's episode. She's meeting with Lore'l to discuss they're beef from last week. Erica doesn't like how she ganged up with Rich Dollaz. Lore'l doesn't understand why Erica is so proud of her craziness. Erica tries to pretend that the record was Lore'l's idea, and then she claims to have asked Lore'l to make her relevant.
Consequence is a practicing Muslim, and he and Jen Bayer are raising Caden to be Muslim, but Jen isn't sure she's ready to jump on board. Cons wants the family to pray together, and Jen hopes that they can expose Caden to some of the Christian traditions she participated in as a child. Religion is very important to Cons, and he is counting on Jen to start learning about Islam and his spirituality.
Yandy Smith's little Amir is so precious. Mendeecees and Yandy discuss their relationship, and he is proud of himself for curing his wandering eye. He wants to be a family man now. Mendeecees wants the family to move to a bigger place, but Yandy doesn't want to move because her mom lives upstairs. She thinks her living situation is stable, and Mendeecees has been anything but until recently. Yandy wants to make sure that they are on the right track before they take that next step.
Last night began as Renee received a threatening letter from her ex warning her not to turn AJ against him or speak ill of him to their son. Understandably freaked out, she goes to see Ramona at the hair salon. Ramona can't get over the content of the letter, and is appalled that he was even able to get a stamp in jail to send it in the first place. He even writes "this is importanat to your future." Yeah, I'd say that is pretty threatening!
Love's mother reveals that Love was so horrible as a teenager that she called her "Satan's spawn." Love has had a string of mobster boyfriends, and she has broken so many noses that she had to stop counting. Karen arrives to remenisce with the mother-daughter duo, and Love reveals that she''d love to settle down and start a family, but how do you tell your husband that you've shot and stabbed your exes? That's a tough call.
Carla and Ang meet up, and Carla shares that Joe is moving in with his girlfriend. Carla isn't too keen on the idea of having Raquel in such a motherly role with the twin. Big Ang is a tad peeved that Carla ditched her Botox party. Carla didn't want it to be uncomfortable since no one really likes her at the moment…she's got that, right, doesn't she? Ang informs Carla that none of the women have a problem with her, and she wishes that Carla would be more supportive of Renee's efforts to get clean. Carla believes that Renee is totally unstable thanks so all of her pill popping, and she's done with Renee.
Asa needs to find the most perfect budget-friendly chakra-shattering diamond to make her diamond water. Diamonds are interesting little things. They contain vibrational energy that is the original energy from the creation of the world – and stuff. Asa meets with a diamond broker and puts her special brand of crazy right out there, saying, "I'm making beautiful diamond water infused with real diamonds." Diamond guy is like, Oh wow. Interesting. Let's go to the VIP room in the back. That's where we take our rich and/or cray cray customers.
When diamond guy brings out a small box of loose diamonds, the universe leads Asa to two envelopes. Asa holds a 9 1/2 carat diamond up to her forehead, feeling it with her third eye chakra, and says it feels amazing. Diamond guy tells Asa that this particular diamond – the most remarkable, vibrational, drinkable diamond on the planet -.costs $325,000. Asa is like, It's not that special, what else you got?
Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta it was the great booty show-down. Really. Kenya Moore decided to twirl all over Phaedra Parks' workout video and co-opt it as her own based purely on the fact that she thinks her butt is hotter and that she is more recognizable. Mind you, this is her opinion.
Things begin with Cynthia Bailey judging a hair show. And because she's contractually obligated to spend time with Kenya, Kenya shows up to "support" her. Kenya smizes at the camera, pretends to be earnest, and claims that she and Cynthia have started to become friends. Meanwhile Cynthia is shooting her a wicked stink eye and looking like the last booty she wants to see walk through the door belongs to Kenya.
Speaking of booties… it would appear there's a new horse in the OK get crazy and twirl corral. Chatting show-side with Lawrence and Derek J (bitchy step-sisters 1 & 2), it is revealed that the ever-humble, never wacky Kenya is coming out with her own booty workout video. A Stallion Workout video to be precise and that stallion aims to usurp Phaedra's donkey booty project.
Part one of the Big Rich Texas reunion special covered Bonnie vs. Leslie, Whitney vs. Kalyn, Cindy vs. Alcohol, and Jason vs. Tyler. On part two's agenda: DeAynni's parenting,Kalyn's engagement, Jason's blessing, and Connie and Leslie's battle of the polygraphs.
Last night's Dance Moms was not fun to watch. Sure, the girls were as cute and talented as ever, the moms are as crazy as ever, and Abby Lee Miller was over the top hateful. I have to keep reminding myself that it's scripted, but those poor girls were treated so badly. I am so sick of watching Abby take out her frustrations with the mothers on her dancers. They are nothing but sweet…well, I'm not so sure about the new squeaky voiced one.
The replacement team is still in place, and while Abby isn't thrilled with their second place finish last week, she feels that this group is much easier to work with than the originals. However, the old moms (or "real dance moms" as Christi calls them) are back having a pow-wow in the parking lot. Kelly has returned because, although she hates how Abby treats her daughters, the girls miss the studio and their friends. In the studio, Abby calls Shelly to find out where her daughter Ally is…and she's back in New Orleans. Shelly wasn't going to have the other moms blaming her daughter for the group dance coming in second, and Abby understands her frustration. She's now livid with the other moms, and she is going to let the remaining new moms know, and she kicks out the two mothers who blamed Ally for the finish. Their daughters are in tears, and I hate it for the girls. Abby doesn't care. She's fine just having Sophia on her team.
The OG moms have finally gotten the courage to enter the studio, but Kelly stays behind so as not to piss off Abby anymore. Since Abby now has some openings, she invites the moms to quit loitering in the parking lot and come in and dance. Holly says that she's got God on her side…"and God on your thighs" says Abby under her breath. Glass houses? She gives the moms an ultimatum about signing the contract and being loyal to her and not to Kelly. Jill and Melissa quickly cave, and Christi and Holly agree to sign as long as Abby will entertain Kelly's girls rejoining the team. Kelly comes in to speak with Abby and ends up (kind of) apologizing, and she signs her contract. Jill is shocked to see Jacqueline and her daughter Sophia. Abby puts all of the original team on the bottom of the pyramid, with Sophia at the top.