The women of Basketball Wives L.A. are back and are as unhinged as ever. At least a few of them are actual wives though, so it is an easier premise to swallow than its original counterpart…sort of. All of the original players are back it appears, although Imani Showalter is missing from the credits and she is replaced by Brooke Bailey.
The show begins with a discussion between Wacky Jackie Christie and her long suffering time spouse and confidante Doug. Jackie is worried about her daughter. After the death of mother, she allowed her daughter to stay in Washington. Jackie isn't sure how well she'll handle this whole "being independent" thing. Doug reveals that Jackie's daughter has texted him a few times, and he thinks she's doing just fine. Jackie starts rationalizing in a way that only Jackie can, blabbering on about sisterhoods and bonds and how easy it is for her to admit when she's wrong. Jackie is ready to apologize to her co-stars, and she has come to the conclusion that she just can't help people who don't want to be helped…and that is all she was trying to do. Again, sort of.
Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey there was a lot build up for it to go splat! But there were a lot of nice moments too. All in all, it was a great simmer episode to sandwich between two extreme crazy ones. And I guess next week we'll see just how much Teresa Giudice is to blame for all the stripper rumors.
Anyway, it's the first day of school and while it would appear that none of the adults have attended that archaic institution for, like, learning, the actual children are all off. Milania is going into kindergarten and Antonia starts first grade.
Poison Gorga is making pancakes and I think the only ingredientzes is Country Crock margarine because they must have showed us about 60 close-up shots of the tub. I wonder if this means the Gorgas are going to be busting out a cookbook and stepping on Chef Tre's toes? Uh-oh! Oh no, wait that's just Kathy Wakile! Because in the whole world only one person at a time can write a cookbook…
In the Giudice house Teresa is rushing around waking up all the girls. She gets out their tutus while Juicy makes lunches – he packed red wine, sausages, salami, and some uncooked pasta noodles – oh, and provolone. I love Milania's tutu! Milania is my homegirl and she's off to terrorize some far less wily 5-year-olds.
Last night onProject Runway, I don't know what the heck happened. There were bake sales and sign waving, begging on street corners, and tye-dying t-shirts, and hawking things, and ring-around the teams. And lots of bickering. That happened too. Ugh… please, too much going on – just sew already!
It was all around cuckoo. Everyone was divided into three teams of three. Can we please get this Elena on some anti-anxiety drugs. Or at least some Ramona Singer Pinot Grigio or something.
Team One was Team Maximum Manic Pixie Drama, aka Christopher, Sonjia, and Gunnar. Team Two was Team Maximum Former Soviet Bloc Face-Off, aka Elena, Alicia, and my poor besieged Dmitry. Team Three was Team Delusions of Grandeur, aka Ven. And Melissa Ven. And Fabio Ven.
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Ian Terry, Britney's closest ally, won Head of Household. The Quack Pack (Dan, Danielle, Murphree, Ian, and Shane Meaney) promptly reunited and targeted Frank. Ian nominated Frank Eudy and Jenn Arroyo. Dan won Power of Veto and removed Jenn from the block. (Ugh! I'm totally going to be singing "Jenny from the Block" for the rest of the day. And so are you now. You're welcome.) Ian nominated Joe Arvin.
Who will be evicted – Frank or Joe? Also, it's a double elimination night!
On last night's episode of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo the family celebrated Fourth of July southern redneck style. It included parties on the lake, gourmet meals, cabanas on the lawn, luxury shopping, chauffeured cars, and sunbathing and swimming. So relaxing. But before all that they had to get to pamperin'. Shhhh… It's A Wig!
Honey needs a new pageant "wiglet" or a semi-full piece to add accent to her hair so they go to some place called Shhh… It's A Wig. Which may just be the best thing any of these Boo Boos have ever heard. Well, except Chubs. She lays down on the floor for a nap. Snore… It's A Wig!
Although the wig they put on Honey looks a lot like a Dolly Parton gone electrocuted, the family decides to have fun with it and do a wig fashion show. The store clerk deems them very interesting while she hopes they leave before breaking anything and that her establishment gets plenty of business courtesy of TLC.
Last night's was the season premiere of Flipping Out, and here's hoping it's as neurotic as ever! We've even got some new characters to add in the mix, along with old favorites.
JenniPulos is back full-time with JeffLewis, and I love the banter between the two of them. Jeff tells ZoilaChavez that she needs to plunge the upstairs toilet. He blames the new design associate Vanina and her tampons for the clog. Vanina looks mortified. Zoila doesn't buy it…she knows it's Jeff's number twos that are the problem. That Zoila has quite the mouth on her, and I love it.
When Dr. Drew glosses over Amber's absence, I know that this was taped a while back. I mean, "legal and personal issues" and "voluntary five-year prison term" aren't even in the same ballpark. If the "reunion show" isn't going to be taped in real time, I think it's kind of pointless.
Before we get into the meat and potatoes of the reunion, ha, who am I kidding? It's Dr. Drew. Let me start again.
Before we get into the limp lettuce and soggy potatoes of the reunion, Dr. Drew reminds us what happened this season on Teen Mom, as if it isn't already permanently burned into our brains. (I'll show you my scar tissue, if you show me yours.) Alas, the highlights…
Amber and Gary Shirley fight. Amber enters rehab after she threatens suicide. Rehab takes away Amber's fake eyelashes and spray tan but not her drugs. Amber goes home. Amber and Gary fight. Gary gets sole custody of Leah.
Last night's Dance Moms saw the entire troupe getting to compete in solo numbers, as Abby has decided that this one dance will determine who gets the spotlight at Nationals. No need to factor in all of their other performance, right?
After last week's competition in California, the troupe will be staying on the West Coast to compete again. Abby Lee Miller applauds her dancers for being such polite young ladies to Nikaya and little Kaya, who are notably absent from the pyramid. However, she tells the mothers they weren't nearly as kind or mature as their daughters, and they managed to run off yet another potential dancer. Isn't that always the case? Kendall is at the bottom of the pyramid, but she's glad to at least be back on the team. Paige joins her, and while Abby thought she did great, she wasn't dancing full out because of her injury. Brooke and Maddie round out the bottom…Brooke for being off-beat and Maddie for blending in with her teammates during the group routine. Nia is on the second tier. Abby thinks that Nia did a great job on her solo, but she needs to work on her technique. Chloe joins Nia, with MacKenzie in the top spot. She's beaming.