Ahhhh… New Jersey, where class goes to die. Oh, I joke! What I should say isReal Housewives of New Jersey- where class goes to die. So Chris Laurita tried to be all sophisticated-like and invite these imbeciles to a vineyard he is hoping to sign a business deal with. So, just read that sentence back to yourself again and then pause – no logic, right? Well, I guess he needed Bravo to expense his business trip.
This episode had a lot going on from friendship and family drama to marital discord, but the important thing, the crazy thing, the most ridiculous thing was Joe Giudice andAlbert Manzo‘s highly intense discussion about KFC. Was there or was there not a KFC on some street, in some random Jersey suburb?! There they are on a bus bitching about biscuits. This warrants a very terse and snippy discussion peppered with F-bombs and lots of ‘I ate extra crispy every day dammit, I know where the bleeping KFC is dumb a$$.’ “You’re a loser!” Albert yells. Yeah… grown men over there!
It was a Big Ang birthday last night! Ang planned a surprise shindig for her sister Janine, but both she and pal Linda celebrate their big days during the same week.
Linda comes to visit Ang’s chest at the Drunken Monkey. Anthony arrives with his new motorcycle. Linda manages to make sitting on a motorcycle pornographic. Of course she does. Ang is terrified at the thought of riding a motorcycle…something tells me that is foreshadowing. Later, Ang has her friends over to enjoy some bubbly and a very dirty pool. Kilo is breathing all over Lil’ Jen. Ang hates shoveling leaves out of the water, and she decides she’s going to get herself a pool boy for her birthday. He can fill her champagne glass, massage her head, and fetch her towels. No mention of cleaning the pool though…
Immediately following Janelle‘s eviction, the houseguests all but handed the Head of Household to Frank. Frank, the ox-like creature teamed up with Boogie, who has escaped eviction three times in four weeks… makes perfect sense. But, it’s okay, right? The Silent Six should be safe. They promised!
Britney immediately came down with a case of “OH S**T!” In the end, Frank stayed true to the alliance thanks to Boogie‘s insistence, and nominated Wil Heuserand Joe Arvin. Frank really wanted to nominate Dan. Boogie said no. Frank won the Power of Veto and really wanted to back door Dan. Boogie said no. Boogie is such a buzz kill.
The Big Brother week started with Joe as the target and Wil as the pawn. Then, Wil proved just how much he sucks at playing Big Brother. Wil’s flippant attitude left Boogie and Frank feeling uneasy. Who is evicted – Wil or Joe?
Aaaahhh… last night the bitchery on Project Runway was at an all-time high. Apparently the producers think we want that – we don’t. We want high-quality interesting fashions. We didn’t get that. We got meltdowns of epic proportions instead. And one delightful Dmitry who is slowly warming my ice cold Reality TV fashion blogging heart. Marry me you Russian dancing boy stud with the deadpan stare.
So last night the designers had to divide into two teams and create a “capsule collection” of work wear for Marie Claire Work – which is apparently a magazine? Is that like the magazines Ramona Singer appeared on the cover of? AKA: no one has heard of them and you can get them for free next to the trashcans outside of the 7-11? Anyway, yay! Product promotions!
So Gunnar (crazy skunk head loony boy with drama coursing through his veins like a fiery will) and Raoul (already eliminated once and back with a desperate vengeance) are picked last. Cue the meltdowns. Shockingly it was Elena, Dmitry‘s former Soviet Bloc comrade, who suffered from the biggest bitchery fit last night.
It’s the day after the public argument between Mayte GarciaandJessica Canseco. Mayte called Jessica an elephant, or something, Jessica felt attacked, Jessica’s snide responses got to Mayte, and Mayte threw a wine glass out of anger. Nicole Murphy was left sitting alone, probably debating whether or not she’s paid enough to deal with this nonsense.
Andrea Kelly and Sheree Fletcher are now crying that they need some “serious retail therapy” after that “fiasco.” Funny, since those two are the ones responsible for the public showdown. Mayte had been avoiding Jessica since Palm Springs, because she was having issues dealing with Jessica’s flippant attitude surrounding her abortion, and then Andrea and Sheree encouraged Mayte to talk to Jessica. Mayte and Jessica needed to talk, eventually, but in private. Not in a loud restaurant fully stocked with wine glasses. Anyway, Andrea and Sheree need some time, now, to shop and gossip.
Catelynn and Tyler are supposedly preparing for college. The MTV timeline is confusing. Does the semester start, like, the next day? Hasn’t it been at least a week or two since Tyler pushed Catelynn to enroll because she was running out of time? This will be Catelynn’s first semester and Tyler’s second semester. Catelynn wants to be an adoption counselor and Tyler wants to be a youth counselor. Blah, blah, blah. We’ve heard all of this before.
Like always, Catelynn is thinking too far ahead and not worrying about the right now. Catelynn hopes to someday work with their own adoption counselor Dawn. Catelynn call Dawn to tell her the good news. Dawn thinks it’s a great idea, but kindly reminds Catelynn she needs to start with school.
Last night’s Dance Moms was the same old, same old. The girls rise above while the moms act like mean teenagers. A certain hoarse voiced dance instructor sinks to a new low.
It’s pyramid time yet again. Abby Lee Miller is proud that the girls were the highest scorers, and she wants to keep this winning streak in tact. Kendall is actually on the bottom of the pyramid…I guess she should be happy she’s even there. Brooke is also on the bottom for not performing her number due to back spasms. Abby wants to make sure that Brooke knows she’s not being penalized for being injured…she’s penalized for being scared. Abby could see the pain in her face starting with the first rehearsal, and she’s upset that Brooke didn’t have the cajones to tell her she couldn’t dance before the actual competition. Paige is also on the bottom for not coming to rehearsal…because she had a broken foot. That makes sense.
Chris Harrison crashes the after party, bringing surveys for the exhausted and drunk Bachelor Pad players to fill out. Jaclyn thinks these surveys might have something to do with the next day’s challenge. Michael Staglianois like, “Oh, man, I’ve seen this train wreck before.” My thoughts exactly! Where’s the popcorn?!
Kalon McMahon reads some of the questions – Who’s the ugliest? Who’s the smartest? Who’s the fattest? He says, “So, pretty much, every answer is either me or Erica Rose.”