Things begin with Carole Radziwill (in her nephew’s borrowed Halloween costume), Sonja Morgan (in Indiana Jones’ borrowed hat), and LuAnn (in Princess Diana’s borrowed accent) arriving in London. Heather Thomson and her Yummie Tummie holla-ing team are already there.
Carole is grouchy. And she’ll remind you of it over and over on this trip. Personally, a grouchy and snarky Carole is much more what Bravo was hoping for when they cast her – and she’s a good kind of witty grouchy, not just an out of control bitch.
Oh gracious. Last night’s Love & Hip Hop Atlanta was just as crazy as usual with the fighting, and the name-calling, and the fake, scripted situations.
K. Michelle heads over to Ariane’s apartment to have drinks with Ariane and Mimi Faust. Mimi reveals that she’s met with Joseline who confessed she was pregnant with Stevie J‘s baby. She is crying and angry, especially at the fact that when Stevie met up with the pair he had Joseline’s pregnancy test in his pocket. She wants to move forward with her life. Mimi is sick of Stevie saying one thing to her and then doing another. K. Michelle, and of course Ariane, think she’s finally gaining some sense when it comes to her deadbeat boyfriend.
Sean is strong, funny, and sensitive. Emily thinks he’d be a great father figure to Ricki. Jef has style. Jef is kind and thoughtful, with a great sense of humor. Emily feels as if Jef gets her like no one else ever has.
Emily’s favorite things about Arie are his upper lip, his bottom lip, and his tongue. Emily cries when she thinks about Arie. Is it because she knows he’s the one or because she knows he’s not the one and she’s already mourning those kisses?
Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey everyone mostly got along and for a second there I thought I was watching the wrong show until Caroline Manzo popped up to insult her children on national TV. Oh Caroline, cut the cord. And Manzo Spawn – run.
It’s the day of Antonia Gorga‘s sixth birthday party and what’s a mama to do but get her make-up and hair professionally done for a backyard party filled with kindergartners. Do stilettos go with a bouncy castle? Didn’t think so!
While Melissa Gorga is in the make-up chair, Antonia is hard at work assembling gift bags. Who’s the birthday girl again? Melissa is gushing about Antonia’s lavish party – JoeyGorga tells her she’s too expensive. Don’t try to compete with Taylor Armstrong, Melissa. The lip injections are already taking it too far.
Melissa asks Poison about the visit to the therapist. Joey proceeds to tell us that Teresa Giudice must have lied to the doctor about how they had Sunday dinners together and then Teresa tells us the doctor didn’t like them. Then they both blame each other for all the problems in the relationship while claiming they are all about peace, love, and forgiveness. Why do they both do this? It’s ridiculous!
Big Ang already has my heart so I’m going to love her show, right? I mean, her intro is graphitti in her likeness. Fabulous.
After touting her love of bartending at the Drunken Monkey, Big Ang introduces us to her cast of characters: Crazy Linda, Patty Slaps, and Lil Jen. Patty Slaps is already my favorite on name alone. Lil Jen almost died of pancreatic cancer, but now she’s healthier than ever. She’s fifty-three and still lives with her parents. Maybe she’s my favorite. Gah! The choices.
I don’t mean to be a broken record, but could VH1 be any more obvious? Hair-pulling bar fights are now tempered with a “non-violent” episode. How stupid do you think I am, VH1? Well, last night’s Mob Wives Chicago had no violence, but just wait till next week! The women b*tched and moaned about one another, but there was thankfully no slapping or hair tugging. I am at a loss for words.
Nora Schweihs welcomes Pia Rizza in for a glass or three of wine. Nora is reliving Renee Fecarotta Russo‘s attack. Pia is upset that Nora still wants a friendship with Renee. Nora’s account of the pair’s fight is much different from what I watched, but apparently Nora thinks she was the instigator and the stronger fighter of the two. Nora makes the mistake of telling Pia that she’d rather strip than worry about Renee. Pia laughs at the comparison, but she doesn’t call out Nora on her verbal ridiculousness. I mean, after all, Pia is dancing. All the time. On a pole.
The lessons of life are hard learned, and Sonja Morgan – executress of the Hard-Knocks School of Life – knows this better than anyone. Sometimes the truth is a bitter pill to swallow and it hurts going down. Sometimes reality is as jagged as the edges of a broken wine bottle.
As Sonja presided over her interns from her UES townhome, all of them looking up at her with searching eyes so full of hope and promise, Sonja shook her head and smiled a misty smile; if only they knew that someday their ambitions would be stuffed in Neimans bag and returned. That they would be deemed unmatchable and undesirable. That the lessons learned in fifth grade would come back to haunt them. That sometimes extending the olive branch only means something if there are olives on the vine.
Real Housewives of New York started out on a beautiful day in Central Park. Heather Thomson and Aviva Drescher are getting together to talk shop. Aviva has something very pressing to impart. She is determined to keep the peace – but more than anything she is determined to be liked by everyone. So, she pushes the childhood insecurities out of her mind and soldiers on.
Last night’s Love & Hip Hop Atlanta was everything you hoped it would be…if you hoped it would scripted and ridiculous.
We rejoin Joseline and Stevie J hashing out baby-gate. He thinks there is no way the baby can be his…it would be bigger. Oh please. Joseline threatens to take him for half of what he has, to which Stevie grabs his crotch and tell her she can have half of it. Otherwise, she can go back to where he found her. Wow. I am surprised more women aren’t falling over themselves to have a chance with this winner.
K. Michelle is working with producer B. Cox to do a showcase to introduce her to local record labels. She admits to going slightly crazy at Jive, so B. Cox tells her she needs to be shaking hands and kissing babies…not screaming in the lobby of labels.