Recaps

southern-charm

Are y’all clutching your pearls yet? We’re the second week into this season of Southern Charm, and it doesn’t seem like much has changed. Cameran Eubanks is still playing the role of narrator and wrangling man children in the form of Craig Conover, Shepard “Shep” Rose, and Shep’s latest protege Austen Kroll. Landon Clements continues to undercut Kathryn Dennis through her giggles while her “is-he-or-isn’t he” Thomas Ravenel surrounds himself with young twenty-something arm candy. Speaking of Kathryn, she’s back with a vengeance and ready to provide hair strands and blood samples and whatever else she needs in order to see her children. Forget the hot mess express, these folks are a convoy of crazy! Let’s dive on in, shall we?

As always, the episode starts with the group in various stages of morning mayhem, whether it’s working or snoozing. Whitney Sudler-Smith visits the Hugh Hefner of Charleston T-Rav, who has been recovering from the big pool party. He’s not ready to get back into the dating scene for fear a fiery siren will come in to rip off the head of some poor college junior. Whitney is enjoying this mellower version of his friend, and he’s ready to rejoin him on the Upper King singles’ scene after breaking off his long term, long distance relationship with that young blonde girl. Thomas is thrilled to have a wing man, and he makes Whitney promise to prowl the bars each night with one goal: close on site. Wait what? Oh, do it in the bathroom! Makes sense. I’ll be re-upping on the hand sanitizer before I head out again on a Friday night.

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Sheree debuts Chateau Sheree

Last night was the season finale of a very, well, bizarre season of Real Housewives Of Atlanta. Thankfully we didn’t relive Lesbian-Gate – we’re saving that for the reunion – but we did witness the official end of Phaedra Parks and Kandi Burruss‘ friendship. Something else happened… Something big, I think… Oh what was it? Hmmmm… OH! Chateau Sheree. Yep, it’s up and running. Almost.

We barely saw Cynthia Bailey and Porsha Williams – they were mere extras to the drama. That’s the way the cookie crumbles, I guess! Speaking of cookies – you cannot bake them in Sheree Whitfield‘s kitchen.

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monique-talking-head

If there is one thing you can count on when it comes to Real Housewives, it’s one of the ladies planning a lunch, dinner, drinks, brunch, spin class, pool party, or waxing session (to name a few) to resolve friendship problems amongst feuding cast mates. The Real Housewives of Potomac are no different and Grande Dame, Karen Huger is at the helm of a high tea to try and squash the growing beef between HBIC, Gizelle Bryant and the HMPDIC (Head Multiple Personality Disorder in Charge), Charrisse Jackson-Jordan.

Karen has good reason to start focusing her time elsewhere: now that all her little birds have flown the nest, she just wanders the halls of her Rent-a-Mansion in bright orange athleisure wear, calling her daughter, who is just trying to live her life away at college. The “tomb” of a home Karen is living in (she got that right) isn’t fit for a Grande Dame and so it must go. The search for a new home, maybe one that isn’t rented and full of cheap, staged furniture is already in full swing. As long as it has a circular driveway, mind you.

Real Housewives of New York season premiere

YES!!! The ladies of The Real Housewives Of New York are back and ready to play hardball! Last night’s season premiere set the stage for story lines that will tie the season together – or, more likely, cause everyone to unravel.

Ramona Singer simply can’t allow Luann de Lesseps to marry fiance Tom D’Agostino without creeping her out with strange champagne toasts (and playing Nancy Drew behind her back), while Dorinda Medley can’t let go of the petty nonsense that came to a head with Sonja Morgan at last season’s reunion. Meanwhile, Bethenny Frankel is busy starting a new chapter of her life, which includes unloading the apartment she once shared with ex-husband Jason Hoppy. And Carole Radziwill, obsessing about the 2016 Presidential election to a degree that even exhausts Bethenny, shows us what it looks like to “shack up” with a boyfriend. Hint: It apparently includes adopting pets, reupholstering your couch, and forcing your boyfriend to get a makeover.

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Vote Early, Vote Often

“I have no idea what just happened, and it’s a feeling I’m starting to get used to.” These words are how host Jeff Probst capped off tonight’s newest episode of Survivor, and they’re words that mirror how many fans feel thus far during what has been one heck of a season…a season that just continues to try to top itself each week. We expected a season called “Game Changers” to present the players with twists and turns, but I don’t think anybody watching the show at home expected to be thrown for just as many loop de loops. Tonight, once again, was a breath-taking piece of entertainment, ending in a Tribal that had me on the edge of my seat, up and cheering, and finally slumping back, asking myself, “What the heck just happened?”

Is there any better feeling to achieve when watching Survivor? Please be warned that there are spoilers to follow, as we will be discussing in detail the events that took place during Episode 5 of Survivor: Game Changers.

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Little Women: LA recap

Are you guys still with me for the second part of Little Women: LA? Like the episode itself, let’s jump right into the action with Terra Jole and Elena Gant enjoying a play date with their kids. Oh my gosh, how cute are these kids?

Cute kids aside, the talk turns Elena’s recent meeting with Briana Renee’s friend, Lisa, who told her that Matt Ericson has been inappropriately texting when they have marital disagreements. Terra has her own bone to pick with Briana and is still mad that she went behind her back to try and get represented by her manager. I wish we didn’t have to spend a whole episode getting to the bottom of this but I am getting the sneaky suspicion that Terra isn’t going to let this go anytime soon (talking about it the last three episodes should have tipped me off).

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Little Women: LA recap

Last week, Little Women: LA fans were left hanging with a “to be continued” when it came to the star crossed marriage of Briana Renee and Barf (I mean, Matt) Ericson. Briana is empty threatening divorce because they got into a fight about where she set their kid’s cup down and well, let’s just say it’s never really about the sippy cup, amirite fellow mommies? Out poured all of Briana’s animosity and betrayal over being lied to over and over again by a cheating, manipulating, brainwashing, sexual deviant (did I leave anything out?) husband.

We pick up where we left off from last week, with Matt trying to manipulate Briana into thinking this is all her fault because she doesn’t make herself vulnerable to him. Briana waffles back and forth about not wanting a divorce but she also doesn’t want to be unhappy. This leaves the door a smidge open so Matt can slide his slimy foot back in and claim he just wants to be the best he can be (provided Briana just gives him the chance!). Briana decides she is going to stick it out so she doesn’t have two kids who came from divorce, which sounds like a great reason to stay with a cheating, jobless husband who has both ears pierced.

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season finale

Last night’s season finale of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills was brought to you by the words “wow” (somebody stole Maruicio’s G*d-D*mned word!) and “inherently.” And everyone was mad at Dorit Kemsley or Lisa Rinna. Or PK – which duh.

The point of Lisa Vanderpump‘s party was less about rose and more about settling squabbles and investigating motivations. Is Erika Girardi “cold” or was she merely hurt by Dorit? Is Lipsa trying to hide something that caused her to lash out at Dorit? Did a golden goose poop on Dorit’s head or was there a golden feather in her cap?

The “Amnesia Season” came to an end with the women bickering dressed like Barbies. It was amusingly perfect because basically every argument was made of plastic and came from Hong Kong. Eden Sassoon wore a freaking bridal gown from the Disney Princess Collection, stayed up way past her bedtime, ate too many sweets, and then threw a tantrum!

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