Welcome back to the party, readers! It’s been a few months since we have had the pleasure of watching the Biermann Bunch but never fear, Don’t Be Tardy is happy to make up for lost time with PLENTY going on. Even without the show, we have had non-stop coverage of Kim Zolciak’s stint on Dancing with the Stars, her stroke, and Kroy Biermann’s football trades. But let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves and go back to a simpler time.
In Kim’s world, life is good. She’s 37, not pregnant (for now), healthy, and pouring her heart and soul into Dancing With The Stars. Then she has a stroke out of the blue and has to have major heart surgery. Kim recovers and schedules heart surgery around her DWTS schedule so she can collect that paycheck finish what she started. Oh, and the stroke has given Kim a new perspective on life and what’s important. She has an attitude of gratitude and no longer sweats the small stuff, like if her hair is perfect or if her car is clean. I would like to note here that her hair looks perfect.
It was only a matter of time before another scandal reared its ugly head in the lives of Briana Renee and Matt Ericson [Grundhoffer]. And last night’s Little Women: LA decided to make this latest scandal its main event! Well, with the help of Christy McGinity Gibel, that is, who pretty much has zero allies left within her former friend group. And since she is “dead” to Briana anyway, what should a little unearthing of sexts to transgender models matter anyway?
I mean, Matt surely has a thousand more dirty deeds up his sleeve just waiting to blow up his marriage! His sexting habits with people who are NOT his wife are much like a lizard that grows its tail back after having it chopped off. Oddly fascinating, yet totally grotesque. These women can hack at Matt all they want, but because of Briana’s delusional loyalty, he’s essentially the zombie cheater. He cannot be destroyed!
Well, she was only able to hide the crazy for one episode, wasn’t she? On last night’s Dance Moms, Abby Lee Miller true colors shone after suppressing her normal antics for the season premiere.
The show begins with Jill harping on Abby’s newfound interest in Nia Frazier now that Nia’s career is blossoming outside of the ALDC. Jill feigns excitement for all the cool opportunities Nia is experiencing, but really she’s just peeved that Holly took matters into her own hands and got Nia the management she needed to launch her music. Jill, meanwhile, allowed Abby to manage Kendall in an attempt at brown-nosing, yet Abby has not given any effort into Kendall’s career. After Jill and Jessalyn’s ridiculous crybaby outburst regarding Ashlee’s daughter Brynn last week, Jessalyn suggests the women present a united front. After all, the girls do much better when the moms are supporting each other and not fighting. Perhaps she should keep that in mind the next time she’s screaming at preteens about shedding too many tears?
What could go wrong so early in the season on Below Deck?
Trevor Walker. That’s what. SENIOR deckhand under first-time bosun Kelley Johnson, Trevor came out of the gate trying everyone’s patience (and testing our vomit reflexes with his private bunk habits), but this week he decides to secure his place as #1 Boat Villain when he snarks all over Nico Scholly about…what else? Tattoos! Yes, we’re sinking that low. Drop anchor! Grab your life vests! Every man for himself!!!!!
Last week, the ladies were in a frightening accident after Tamra Judge flipped their ATV in the Glamis Dunes. Vicki was airlifted to the hospital but poor lowly Tamra only got whisked away by ambulance.
Heather Dubrow and Kelly Dodd, the luckiest stars in the Bravo galaxy, celebrate their survival with some judgey phone calls in between many glasses of champs (and one PTSD-flavored beer). First, Heather called Meghan to let her know Vicki was at the Palm Springs hospital, so could Meghan please just abandon waiting for Shannon Beador‘s arrival at La Quinta to rush over and check on Vicki.
On last night’s Real Housewives Of New Jersey, desperation and delusion was in the air…I am pretty sure that scent is sprayed over Montville with a crop duster.
Siggy Flicker doesn’t seem to understand that her children are not squishy stuffed animals she can squeeze, squeal at, dress up, and toss around. On the other hand, Siggy’s children don’t understand that she is their mother and they should show her some respect! I dunno maybe it has something to do with Siggy decorating her daughter’s room in No.1 Sophie paraphernalia? Or acting like One Direction has showed up every time she sees Josh?
When Josh returns home from passing his driver’s test, the very first words out of mouth are “When are you gonna buy me a car?” Someone is driving straight into his future on the Teresa Giudice entitlement train!
It has been nearly a year since we last traveled the road with love-struck Americans and their overseas fiances for the 90-day journey that, in my opinion, turns into one of THE best reality television shows out there. Yes, folks, 90-Day Fiance is back for season 4 on TLC, and last night’s multi-episode premiere started off what looks to be an epic season filled with true love, super sketchy fiances, and – wait for it – Danielle and Mohammed updates from season 2!!! (We won’t be recapping the past season update, but feel free to comment below. 🙂 )
In case we missed the antics of that totally tragic couple, we’re presented with Danielle and Mohammed 2.0 this season in the “love affair” of Nicole and Azan. I swear, TLC combed the planet just to find these two. I guess we can offer thanks that there won’t be a Mark and Nikki 2.0 joining us for another American Horror Story installment since Mark has probably already buried her body in his basement. #SmallVictories But, before we look back, let’s see who’s on the docket to get hitched this season!
Sadly, last week may have possibly held the only tender moment we’ll see on this season’s Flipping Out, as Jeff Lewis has officially lost his one remaining marble. With the stress of their Valley Vista remodel looming before them, the drama with Zoila Chavez behind them, and the promise of a new life joining them soon, Gage Edward and Jeff are at a crossroads. Instead of using his big boy coping strategies like therapist Dr. Donna suggested, Jeff instead opts for a full nuclear meltdown with a side of rage. At Gage, at architects, at ducks, at mailboxes. You name it! He’s on a tear.
Since Silent Matt has left, Gage has been picking up some major slack. But Jeff chooses to mercilessly rag on him in the car on their way to a job site anyway. In the back seat, Gage is at his breaking point as Jenni Pulos sits in the front seat awkwardly trying to diffuse the situation with a combination of whispery mantras and subtle side-eyes. Suddenly, we flash back to three days prior to see how they ended up in this pressure cooker of resentment.