Recaps

Below Deck Mediterranean

There are so many boating metaphors we can use when it comes to Below Deck Mediterranean but I’m going to skip those for now and draw on an analogy of sorts to describe this episode: above deck on the Sirocco, everything looks perfect and pretty but just below water, trouble is lurking. I’m not just talking about the rising tension (both sexual and otherwise) between the crew, I’m also talking about the yacht itself, which is experiencing problem after problem (after problem). First, the Sirocco was drifting too close to the rocky shoreline, putting to boat in harm’s way, along with everyone on it.This episode, it’s the anchor chain that has twisted to the point of no return.

But before we tackle the anchor problem, we still have to fix the original issue in progress, which is the yacht drifting into the rocks. The wind has picked up and Captain Sandy Yawn can’t deny that they are getting closer and closer to the rocky shoreline, which makes for great scenery, but would be really bad to get too close to (which is kind of how I view Chef Adam Glick).

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Little Women: LA Recap: Big Trouble, Little Video

Remember a certain video Kim Kardashian leaked back in the day to launch her dubious career? Well apparently, Christy McGinity Gibel made one of those videos too! Except with way less skin, no sex, and a decidedly lower market value. So when Terra Jole decides to bizarrely out this old footage of Christy on this week’s Little Women: LA, Christy is offended – and rightly so, especially when Terra vaguely presents it as some sort of threat if Christy doesn’t sign her book release. Meanwhile, Tonya Banks is not having the best luck, as her dog is stolen, which, on top of the massive meltdown Jasmine Sorge recently had on her, does not make for a great week in Little Boss’s world.

With Penny turning two, Terra and Joe Gnoffo are planning a big party. At home, they prep decorations as Tonya pops in to tell them her dog, Angel, is gone. She cries foul! Someone’s stolen her, says Tonya. But enough on that, as there’s party drama to discuss – drama between Tonya and Jasmine, that is. Tonya still doesn’t know what to do to make things right after Jasmine screamed in her face at her post-launch party. She apologized, so shouldn’t that be enough? As for Briana Renee’s beef with Tonya not including her in the fashion show, nobody cares.

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craig-naomi

Finally an episode of Southern Charm with some kick! Not only did it leave me craving some curry and a caftan, it finally centered around the dynamic we all want to watch. Whether you love or hate the drama constantly swirling around Thomas Ravenel and Kathryn Dennis, it makes for good television…and I feel a lot less guilty saying that now that they are less of a train wreck!

After her quick visit to Pork City, population two, Chelsea jokes with Cameran Eubanks that Austen Kroll knocked the cobwebs off her hooha with their recent tryst. And here I was thinking Charleston had gotten yet another barbecue joint! As the girls gossip, Thomas takes daughter Kensie on a driving tour of Charleston pointing out all of the Ravenel rich history while omitting his prison stint, of course. While he’s droning on about the family name, his ex Kathryn is reaching out to his best friend–and her nemesis–to make amends. For the pot-stirring Whitney Sudler-Smith, that’s a voicemail worth its weight in dollar signs!

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southern charm sav daniel drag

Are y’all feeling Southern Charm Savannah yet? I’m still on the fence. The people I enjoy aren’t really entertaining enough to carry a reality show (which is why they are slightly relatable), and the ones with the drama are grating AF on my nerves. Is it just me? Last night’s episode only solidified that aspect of the Bravo spinoff, that’s for sure!

If I ever meet Ashley Borders, remind me not to get in an argument with her. Sheesh! Poor Hannah Pearson attempts to express her opinion over her disdain for strip golf but ends up basically apologizing to Ashley for getting kicked out of youth group in eighth grade. Are you following? Me either. Ashley turns on the water works and blames Ashley for condemning her. Girls are always so mean to her–this is why she plays golf with boys!

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karen-huger-robyn-gizelle

Since we didn’t have a new episode of Real Housewives of Potomac last week, I almost (key word, ALMOST) forgot about everything that happened in the last episode with Ashley Darby and her scorched earth approach to gossip. But two casualties that are not about to forget anytime soon are Robyn Dixon and Gizelle Bryant, who let’s face it, doesn’t really have a dog in the fight but just can’t steer clear of a chance to use her highly entertaining shade anywhere she can. And yes, I do find Gizelle to be petty and mean girl-ish but she really does make me laugh so I can’t help but have a soft spot for her whole overblown persona. What would the show be without her?

But back to the beef. Ashley has been running her mouth a little too much about what’s possibly going on with Robyn’s marriage/not marriage to Juan and OK, it is a little weird the extent of her interest in the matter. Why does she care if Robyn gets played a hundred times from Tuesday? Charrisse Jackson-Jordan and Gizelle also tried talking to Robyn about her situation but like true friends, they did it privately and while offering understanding and support.

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Katie Cazorla - Second Wives Club recap

Last night’s Second Wives Club was all about miscommunication. Like, was the boat supposed to be a yacht? Is owning a nail salon worse than being an Instagram model? Is “junky” a compliment? Does “single” on Facebook mean single in real life? Oh the quandaries to ponder!

Tania Mehra is “busy” “planning” her wedding. Sometimes. No one is sure if this wedding is an actual thing or some sort of figment of Tania’s imagination where pigs fly on wings of diamonds and dinghies sail to Cannes with P. Diddy on  board. To keep up the pretense, Tania invites some of the girls to a tasting of potential wedding food. Katie Cazrola‘s appetite is lost by sitting next to Morisa Surrey‘s constant chatter. Like, can a Pisces eat fish or is that cannibalism? Is a farmed salmon still a real salmon?

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Sonja.Morgan.Bethenny.Frankel.Beige.White.Party.RHONY

Well, it’s been over a year and at least one sizable scandal later, but the Real Housewives Of New York are not ready to get off Tom D’Agostino‘s jock just yet! Now, Carole Radziwill has new intel that will fuel speculation about Luann de Lesseps‘ fiance (now husband) for the rest of the season to come. In the mean time, Bethenny Frankel tries to apologize to him at Dorinda Medley‘s charity event. It goes over about as well as a karaoke solo at an office party. In the daytime. Meanwhile, Sonja Morgan continues to bring the hammer down on Tinsley Mortimer‘s life choices – this time in the bedroom!

Dorinda is throwing a charity event for Beauty for Freedom, so she enlists Bethenny’s help – or at least, her commentary – in the effort. They meet out shopping, where Bethenny is more concerned with the “gigantic apartment” in SoHo she’s just purchased, which is 2,000 square feet larger than her current pad. She’s good at flipping properties, she says. And she’d like you to watch her real estate spinoff, please. She’s not good at forgiving Ramona, however, and has no plans of doing so. Though she does vow to be cordial when they’re forced together at social functions.

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Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Well holy crap, that just happened! It was a rushed, whiz-bang episode of Survivor, featuring not one, but two Tribal Councils. Oh yeah, and it was also the last regular episode of the season before next week’s two-hour finale. The first Tribal of the evening was fairly straight-forward, but if you are like me, that last one left my head spinning. Let’s get to the bottom of what went down.

Be sure to read the fine print, as this week’s recap is non-transferable and can’t be stolen. Please only proceed if you have seen Episode 13 of Survivor: Game Changers. And while we WILL hit on all of the important developments, remember that this is more of a discussion and analysis and not a blow-by-blow account of how the episode played out.

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