So Vicki Gunvalson has a new mantra – she's renovating, renovating, renovating! Renovating herself, her house, her attitude, her entire face! After seven long seasons she's grown weary of being called Miss Piggy and she's grown weary of being the butt of a zillion jokes. She tossed Brooks Ayers to the curb with a sack full of Hallmark cards and hightailed it Dr. Niccole's office where she got a nose job, some fat injections, and a chin implant. Chinplat 2.0! It's pretty hard to tell what she's going to look like as she's in the settling in phases, which means she looks a little shiny and wonky and lopsided, but um… I'll withhold judgment for now.
I will not withhold judgment over Vicki's eyelashes. What were those things? Pipe cleaners? Spider legs? They were the worse false lashes I've ever seen. They must be from the Gretchen Christine Bootay Collection.
Vicki shares that Briana and her husband Ryan have moved in and any day now Vicki will become a grandmother. To prepare for all the changes she has her assistant over to play some kind of drinking game that involves moving furniture while chugging wine. Every time you bang the sofa into the wall you drink or something. ahahahahah! New nose, new living room, same old wino!
I wish I could reach through your computer screen and pass you a tissue, because I know y'all are super upset that this season of Love & Hip Hop has drawn to a close. Not surprisingly, the finale was all about two couples, with everyone else just showing up for a few quick minutes. Perhaps VH1 should remember that less is more when it comes to casting…we can't get involved with eighteen different story lines!
Of course, last night starts off with everyone's favorite (hahaha!) plot. Joe Budden has returned to New York, and he feels that his relationship with Tahiry Jose is unresolved. Once home, Kaylin reveals that she's been nervous to hear about her boyfriend's vacay with his ex. Joe shares that his feelings for Tahiry are beyond his control, and Kaylin wants to call it quits on her relationship with Joe…except that she doesn't have anywhere else to go. When she asks their status as a couple, I think (I had to rewind three times) Joe said "Let us pray," but I can't be sure.
Also back in NYC is Tahiry, and she's meeting up with Rashidah Ali to rehash her stories from the Dominican Republic. Forget about Tahiry's charity work or reconciliation with her father, Tahiry only wants to chat about Joe. Rashidah is floored to learn that her friend may still be in love with Joe, and she's concerned that the two are moving in the wrong direction. During the next commercial break Subway treats us to Tahiry waxing poetic about her charity work in the DR. So, her conversation didn't make the actual show, but I guess this is better than nothing!
Last week, Kari, Toya, and Quad's drama ruined Mariah's birthday party. Now, Mariah hosts a Doctors on the Dock party, and she hopes that the other ladies are able to act like proper doctor's wives in the presence of their doctor husbands. The party starts well. Then, Quad shows up, and she proves that she doesn't have a refined bone in her body. Mariah's little pet is out of control.
Quad arrives late, which the other wives find to be tacky, and then she greets everyone but Toya. Quad says Toya can "catch fire and go to hell" and turns her attention to Kari. Acting innocent, Quad asks Kari if she or her husband were ever married to other people, and Kari admits that she met Duncan while he was still married to his first wife. DUN-DUN-DUUUUN!!!
Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives of Atlanta. I would say it was a little sweet and a little classy, but it wasn't. It was mostly a lotta ratchet.
See Kenya Moore threw the big end of the season party. And at Kenya's party she wants things her way – or the highway. Well, parking lot at least. Kenya decided her Atlanta "coming out" event would be an Iconic Black Women In Film gala. She assigned all the ladies of RHOA a character because there was to be some sort of performance associated with the role. The only performing I saw was a low-budget runway show in which they all waltzed up on stage did a couple hip pops and sat back down on a folding chair in the audience. Apparently that's how Krayonce defines a play though cause she was two shades of bent out of bootyshape about Porsha Stewart coming in the wrong costume.
Love is meeting Karen for breakfast, and Karen shares that she's thinking of hosting a pre-nup party. I'm sure Ramona is super touched by her friend's gesture given her upcoming bail-out bridal situation. Karen hopes that Ramona doesn't think her party is about her because it's a party that Karen has wanted to have forever. Of course, Karen is going to have a hard time convincing Ramona that this get together isn't a dig considering that the ladies spend they rest of their breakfast talking smack about their friend's upcoming wedding.
Drita is interviewing potential employees for her make-up salon. Lee is proud of her new endeavor, and she's thrilled that she's making such good progress. We're treated to comic relief when one guy's nudie shot makes it's way into his online portfolio. Another make-up artist hopeful tries to remain calm when Drita explains that trust is important to her because she's married to a criminal.
On this episode of The Rachel Zoe Project we saw Rachel bicker with her husband over just about anything. The family partied at the Polo and also with the Hilfiger’s. Rachel got high off Krakoff clutches and declared war against the color pink, and of course baby Skyler was adorable.
Au revoir Paris and Bonjour La-La land! After a fun filled trip to Paris which consisted of fashion extravaganzas, merry-go-round madness, air kissing the fashion gods of France and absolutely no romance at least with her husband, the Zoe family are back in Los Angeles. A place where Rachel’s neurotic behavior and stress levels are relatively proportioned to the other L.A crazies citizens.
Back in La La land we are immediately given the treat of witnessing diva Rodger having a fashion dilemma. Rachel admits she can only blame herself because she made him that way. Rachel declares she is too busy dressing Skyler to dress her husband. However it seems Miss Zoe was just too busy to dress Rodgey poo because she happily dresses Joey.
I guess we've been spoiled by Duck Dynasty and the Robertson family, and I'm certainly alright with that. However, imagine my sadness when I realized that last night we were just treated to one new episode instead of the two to which we've grown accustomed. Granted, it was hilarious, but I can always use a full hour of the Roberston boys. Phil, Si, Willie, and Jase bring a balance to my week, and I'm forever grateful to them for it!
I have to say that Missy stole my heart when she decided that "Jason" (who's that? haha!) needed a wedding band. We all know he'd never stray, she just wanted an outward symbol of their marital bond. Can you blame her? Of course not! And when hilarity ensues (like it always does with the boys from Duck Commander), you've gained my attention!
Missy takes Jase to Grassi's Fine Jewelry determined to put a ring on it. Beyonce wishes she were there too, without a doubt. Jase likens ring shopping to fishing when you don't have a good lure. He admits that he lost his initial wedding band over twenty years ago, but that's okay because when women see him, they run. Unfortunately, that statement isn't a compliment to sweet Missy. The pair look at bands, and Jase is hoping to find something that won't make him the laughing stock of the warehouse.
Hey, y'all! Remember last week's Dance Moms when Abby Lee Miller was slightly supportive of her dancers? Yeah, that was short lived! Last night's episode had a bitter Abby back to wreck her talented troupe's self-esteem. Good times!
The girls and moms enter the studio, and Abby is actually happy and proud of the girls' performance at last week's competition. This week, the dancers are headed to compete in Michigan. During the pyramid, Brooke is on the bottom, and Abby is livid that she talked to Nia when she forgot her routine. Abby gets even angrier when Kelly laughs at her daughter's mishap, and she dismisses Brooke from for the competition. MacKenzie is also on the bottom for not resting her injured foot. Nia's outstanding Rosa Parks performance is also on th bottom, and all Abby can say is that Rosa herself would have been proud. So then why is she on the bottom? Kendall rounds out the bottom. Chloe and Paige are on second row for a winning duet. Maddie is on top, and Abby believes she deserves a standing ovation.
Kendall receives a solo, and Abby wants her to work on stamina. Chloe also gets a solo. She has the two run in place silently. Maddie will be dancing a duet with sister MacKenzie entitled "Run From Mother." The group routine is called "Gold Digga" but that is all the information that Abby is willing to give. Abby explains to the girls exactly what a gold digger is. In the viewing area, Melissa is sporting a wedding band and reveals that she was married the previous Monday in the dress the moms picked out for her. Kelly gushes that she was able to keep the secret given that Paige was in attendance at the ceremony. Melissa shares camera phone shots of the nuptials.