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dont-be-tardy-recap

Last night on Don't Be Tardy the Zolciak-Biermann fam wrestled with parenting roles and expectations. It seems that Brielle is a child after Kim Zolciak's heart and by that I mean, well… Brielle needs a bit of guidance!

Things begin with Brielle's math tutor showing up. I'm guessing Bravo casting scoured the neo-Reganite Young Republicans club and found the most traditionally "square" looking kid, begged him to come sit at Kim's house and pretend to tutor Brielle in math. I hope they warned him that he may be treated to an eyefull of Kim's lactating boobs, or Kim's boobs bursting out of an ill-fitting top. 

Kim harasses "Phillip" about following Brielle on twitter and allegedly stalking her because he's a fan of Kim. AHAHA! Yeah right. Kim wishes. "As if I would ever let a fan up in my house," Kim tells us. She seems way too devoted to knowing which of Brielle's classmates are interested in her. The answer: none. Is Kim repeating Karen's behaviors now that Brielle is getting older?

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The executive producer of Dance Moms, Jeff Collins, is back to host the crazy tell-all that is the Dance Moms Season 3 reunion.  Bless him.  He thinks he can wrangle in Abby Lee Miller and the drama fueled moms who trust Abby to teach their daughters.  He looks heavily medicated…as he should be for the task.  It's part one of two-part reunion, y'all!

A hoarse Abby is first to join Jeff on stage.  Does she ever have a voice?  Jeff brings up some of her more memorable altercations this season…like when she was yelled at by a Candy Apple dance dad and got into it with Kathy.  Abby is quick to remind Jeff that she was "verbally assaulted" by said dance dad and "physically assaulted" by Kathy.  Semantics?  Eh, it's a tough call.  He wants to do word association, and Abby is quick to call Kelly "foolish" and Christi "evil."  Melissa is "sly like a fox" while Kathy's purse (the one from the aforementioned assault) is "heavy, sharp, hurtful" among other things.  In the green room, the moms play their own game.

ABBY LEE CAUGHT ON VIDEO SPILLING BEHIND-THE-SCENES GOSSIP

When questioned about Melissa's new loyalty to the mothers this season, Abby cites disappointment in Melissa putting her need to be accepted above her daughters' success.  Melissa joins Abby on stage to talk about her wedding.  She admits that she wanted the ceremony filmed for the show, but she respected her husband's wishes to keep their day private.  As the audience asks questions, the other moms are reacting backstage.  Even the reunion is scripted!  Geez Louise!

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Teen Mom 2 has come to an end, and while we don't know if it's forever or just for now, it's time for the cast to talk about their troubles with Dr. Drew Pinsky.

This is Teen Mom, where "promising futures gave way to daily struggles, such as poverty, addiction, family breakdowns, absentee fathers, and revolving door boyfriends," says Dr. Drew. "The pressures and responsibilities of motherhood can be catastrophic." Then, to prove his point, the TV doctor welcomes Leah Messer Simms Calvert, Chelsea Houska, Kailyn Lowry, and Jenelle Evans to the stage and reminds us what happened this season.

Leah flip flopped between Corey Simms and Jeremy Calvert, but her Magic 8 ball ultimately told her to marry Jeremy. Also, Corey and Leah searched for answers for little Ali. Chelsea and Adam Lind hooked up sans birth control but avoided a second pregnancy. Then, hell froze over, and Chelsea realized that Adam is no good for her. #hallelujah

Kail fought with Jo Rivera. Kail fought with Javi Marroquin. Kail fought with anyone with a pulse. Kail and Javi got married… military benefits, yo!… Jenelle left her military man, Gary Head, after he beat her up and reunited with her pot head, Kieffer Delp, after he wooed her with the green hoodie. Sadly, Kieffer introduced Jenelle to heroin. 

Phew. Let the healing begin. 

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rhoc-recap-4

Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County we got a glimpse into Lydia McLaughlin's past and Vicki Gunvalson had "the talk" with Brooks Ayers. Sadly her little fur chubby she wore was only good for wiping away her tears when Brooks tried to back her in a corner with some nonsense. 

Things begin with Heather Dubrow and Tamra Barney meeting Lydia for lunch. Heather and Tamra are just… I dunno… their dynamic is forced to me. Maybe it's because Heather exists with this perma-bemused expression on her face and Tamra is always working too hard to seem acerbic and unaffected. In short – stop putting on airs.

They quiz Lydia on her relationship with Alexis Bellino. Which was the whole purpose of this awkward lunch; to size up Lydia and see if she was worthy of attending to. Lydia was wearing a Pretty, Pretty Princess tiara and giggling about fairy dust and oh yeah like Alexis is like so like super weird and she like changes her story like so much cause like one minute she's crying her fake eyelashes off and leaking tears of silicone over bullying and the next minute she's like a smoking rage-filled plasticine bitch ranting about how she needs to forgive cause like Jesus exists, but we're totally friends! I was confused. 

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bravo-newlyweds-season-1-cast

Money.  Communication.  Sex.  The first year of marriage faces multiple difficulties…and I'm guessing that having your life filmed during those initial 365 days isn't going to make things easier.  Bravo is now banking on the fact that half of all marriages end in divorce, and the network is following four couples as they face the ups and downs of the first year of marriage.  I think I'm going to really like watching Newlyweds: The First Year!

Tina Sugandh and Tarz Ludwigsen are preparing for their wedding.  She's an Indian pop star, and he's a dude named David who is always covered in glitter thanks to Tina's obsession with all things shiny.  Tarz is an unfortunate nickname.  The pair has been together for four years, and Tina never expected to marry a man who wasn't Indian.  Early in their relationship, the couple had intense sexual chemistry, but now it's just eh.    Tina's willing to power through on the wedding night so they can start a family right away, although Tarz would like to wait a while.

Kathryn Bougadis suffered lots of heartbreak before meeting John Lagoudes.  She's giving up her career and home in Manhattan to move in with John in Long Island.  The couple met when John spilled a drink on Kathryn at a restaurant, and they were engaged six months later.  Many of their friends think that they are moving too quickly, and John has a hard time giving up space in his closet for Kathryn.  Before John met Kathryn, he was engaged to a woman he'd been with for seven years.  He broke off the engagement four times before it finally stuck.

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atl4

Oh Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, you know how to make even a family meal a drama fueled brawl!  Last night was an endless hour of craziness and candle tossing.  Let's get to it, shall we?

Karlie Redd makes her first appearance of the season, and Rasheeda Frost and Tracey Steel come join her in the studio.  The three women are anti-K. Michelle for talking smack about them in songs and on social media.  Karlie hopes to enlist her friend to join her in a diss song, but Rasheeda doesn't to waste her voice on the rivalry.  She'll definitely think consider it though.

Erica Dixon is getting dinner ready for Lil' Scrappy, and he's telling her about Momma Dee's ambush with Shay.  Erica is not happy with this turn of events.  She thinks it's incredibly disrespectful for Shay to keep sharing her feelings for Scrappy knowing full well he's engaged.  Scrappy and Erica think that Momma Dee needs a sit down.  He seems to be a much more devoted partner to Erica this season, although VH1 really needs to consider bringing back his subtitles.

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married-to-medicine-dr-jackie-walters-lemon-squeeze

This week on Married to Medicine, Dr. Jackie Walters organizes a Lemon Squeeze in the hope that Toya Bush-Harris and Mariah Huq are able to talk through their sour lemons (differences) and make sweet lemonade (peace). Quad Webb-Lunceford follows Mariah's every move, Kari Wells sides with Toya, and Dr. Simone Whitford sits in the middle, mad about being sober, and cracks jokes about the quacker (rubber duck). 

Needless to say, the Lemon Squeeze ends on a sour note, with Jackie leaving the restaurant in tears, and I find it sad that these women cannot act like adults for one evening. Ugh. Let's start from the beginning.

The episode beings with Simone and Cecil, who discuss their new home bar and their alma maters' homecoming festivities. First, the bar, which is Cecil's baby. Simone did not want the bar, originally, but she has since decided that it's cool as long as it remains stocked with vodka. Second, Simone and Cecil plan a Friday Night Mixer, to kick off homecoming weekend. Simone plans to invite Jackie, because they're friends, and Toya, because she needs to get her drink on after the drama with Mariah

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NeNe Leakes sat down with Andy Cohen for an epic one-on-one interview on Watch What Happens Live. I have to say, NeNe was really candid, blunt, and endearing. And she's a wealth of information! I wish I could do a one-on-one and ply her for secrets. 

First up, in case you weren't aware: NeNe definitely considers Real Housewives of Atlanta "her" show. And she's very protective of original Housewives in general. "I'm the star, I'm the boss. When people think of Atlanta Housewives, they think NeNe Leakes," she informed Andy.  

NeNe shared that RHOA was originally called Ladies of Atlanta with her being the first lady cast. They were totally going for a Real Housewives of Orange County women of an elite gated community format. NeNe introduced Sheree Whitfield and DeShawn Snow to the cast. 

Shockingly, NeNe says that Sheree used to be a really low-maintenance, and didn't wear extensions or makeup. "She was just this plain girl and had this really great life with this really great athlete." They were friends since Sheree's newlywed days and hung out all the time. NeNe was her sidekick at many a Falcons' games when Bob was still playing. 

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