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DBT-EP2-Recap

Last night on Don't Be Tardy we got a second dose of Kim Zolciak's wedding jumpsuit. As if the over-exposing lace cameltoe monstrosity wasn't bad enough the first time around! 

It's Kim and Kroy Biermann's first anniversary. They've been together three years total but they've had three homes, one eviction, one firing, two kids, three hideous wedding outfits, 35,000 legal issues, and um… well I'm sure there's more to come. Love, White Trash Style!

Kim decides to celebrate by recreating key moments in their relationship. Surprisingly they don't all involve wigs, boobs, and fried chicken. Instead she's going to stage a surprise re-wedding at the venue where they first met when Kroy was a participant in Dancing With The Stars Atlanta. In case you don't remember that's first where Kim first fell for that a$$! 

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The competition was fierce on last night's Dance Moms, and, as usual, Abby Lee Miller did everything in her power to perpetuate feelings of inadequacy and insecurity in her troupe.  She's such a sweetheart.

The ALDC heads to New York City for Abby's appearance on The View, but that doesn't spare the girls from the pyramid.  The moms also learn that Cathy and her Candy Apples are in the Big Apple.  Abby had Nia and Asia on the bottom for an out of synch duet, followed by BrookePaige is on the second rung for a not so memorable routine, with Kendall securing the third spot.  Maddie is second on the pyramid for only scoring one point above the girl at the top spot: Chloe.  I am so excited for her, and she is beaming!

For the NYC competition, Asia, Maddie, and Chloe will all be dancing solos, as will KendallJill can't contain herself and Abby makes sure Jill knows she needs to keep kissing up with gifts to stay in her good graces.  Everyone will be dancing in the group number.  In addition to the competition, Abby wants to perfect The Last Text for The View, and she announces that Asia will be dancing in MacKenzie's place for the talk show.  Melissa is livid and she sputters that her daughter has put her time in with the troupe.  Abby reminds Melissa that MacKenzie has an injured foot.  Jill is stirring the pot with Melissa to stick up to Abby, but Kristie 2.0 wants Asia to have a part in the dance.

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This week on Teen Mom 2, Kailyn Lowry and Jo Rivera begin their court-appointed co-parenting therapy, Leah Calvert and Corey Simms bring Ali to a muscle specialist​, Chelsea Houska's Aubree turns three years old, and Jenelle Evans self-medicates with illegal drugs after becoming depressed.

It's court day for Jenelle and Gary Head (or, as we like to call it, Tuesday), but she has high hopes for the day. Gary admitted to getting physical with Jenelle, so her lawyer, Dustin Sullivan, will charge Gary with assault and request for Jenelle's charges to be dropped. Kieffer Delp nonchalantly asks Jenelle if there's any chance she'll go to jail. It's all good, Jenelle says, because she totally stopped getting high two weeks ago. Kieffer is nervous. Not because he cares about Jenelle, mind you, but  because he needs a place to make his pot pipes.

One hour later, Dustin congratulates Jenelle on another good day in court, revealing that all charges against her have been dropped. Seriously?! Jenelle has more lives than the entire cast of CATS. One thing is for sure, if I ever get in trouble with the law, I'm calling Dustin the Judge Whisperer. 

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rhoc-recap

I'm just going to put this out there – and y'all can slam me in the comments, freak out and call me biased, blow up my inbox with complaints, whatever - but taking a cue from the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County, I'm about to be a megabitch and I don't care. So here it is: I cannot stand Gretchen Rossi. Not for one. more. minute. It feels so good to get that off my chest! 

I've often felt that all the Real Housewives, no matter how obnoxious and annoying have some redeeming benefits. For instance, I find Tamra Barney largely repulsive, but she's often funny and when she sets aside her jealousies, she can be a lot of fun. 

Vicki Gunvalson is self-absorbed, neurotic, and annoying but she has a good heart underneath it all – we all know this – and she's never afraid to put her crazy out there to be judged and dissected, which I can respect. Alexis Bellino is dumb as a box of Dyeables shoes and equally as tacky, but she's also a nice woman who genuinely seems to care about her friends and family, plus she's always doing something goofball enough to laugh at.

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VH1's most drama-filled series of wacky ridiculousness is back, and this season we've got some new players.  Lord help us all!  Last night was the much anticipated premiere of the second season of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, and it did not disappoint.  Stevie J is just as creepy as usual, Benzino's head is still far too big for his body, and the ladies are all still making pretty horrible life choices.  Well, all the ladies except for Joseline Hernandez…she's too busy keeping it real—real crazy!

The episode starts with a full on shower scene starring Mimi Faust.  As she primps for the day, she admits to cleaning house, and I assume she means both literally and figuratively.  Of course, Mimi walks out of the bathroom and Stevie J and their daughter in bed together.  Mimi explains that it's not what viewers think.  She crashed at Stevie's the night before and Joseline (who lives there) stormed in and disrespected little Eva.  As the former couple cuddles in bed, they discuss the previous night's events, Mimi tells Stevie that she doesn't want Joseline around her daughter.  It's settled.  Mimi will start staying at Stevie's house to serve as Joseline repellent.  She's not ready to commit to him just yet…she'll just live with him in the meantime.  Way to be strong, Mimi!

Erica Dixon and Lil' Scrappy are living together and planning their wedding, but Erica wants him to cut down on his swag.  According to him, his swag is at the tenth level, while Erica believes his labels need to be on a budget.  Scrappy spends $2000 a month on clothing, but he's willing to compromise on a wardrobe budget of $1200…sometimes.  Am I wrong, or was he behind on child support last season?  Is a Gucci label more important than providing for his child?

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Well, this is the end of Big Rich Atlanta, though we don't yet know if it's forever or just for now. 

While I will continue to keep up my favorites, Meyer Eadon, Harvin Eadon, Meagan McBrayer, and Kahdijiha Rowe, on Twitter, I am not sad to see the show gone from my Sunday night calendar. You see, when Big Rich Texas ended for the season, I felt a void in my life. (Hush up! I'm well aware of how pathetic that sounds.) However, now that Big Rich Atlanta has come to an end, I'm just happy I no longer have to a-void you know who.

If the Style Network grants Big Rich Atlanta a second season, I can only hope that they tweak the cast a bit. 

Last week, Harvin and Meyer met fashion designer Ashley Paige, who invited the sisters to display their jewelry at her upcoming fashion show. That's the good news. The bad news: Ashley needs 33 different looks from She Blames Me, and that's way more than Harvin and Meyer currently have. Harvin takes the news in stride; Meyer panics. Can they pull it off? 

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This week's episode of Married to Medicine explores the aftermath of Toya Bush-Harris and Mariah Huq's audition for Bravo's Fight Club poolside brawl. #boring

The next morning, Mariah wakes up Aydin and ushers him outside for a picnic. First, Mariah apologizes for her behavior the night before, and a confused Aydin asks his wife why she did what she did. Mariah is like, of course that's not the person I strive to be, but Toya ran her mouth!

Mariah informs Aydin that co-host Kari Wells sent her a PayPal invoice, requesting money for damages, and Aydin cannot believe what he's hearing. A shocked Aydin asks "what damages" and Mariah complains about how they paid for "the whole damn party" only to be kicked out. Finally, Mariah apologizes for embarrassing Aydin, adding, "But I'm also sorry that I didn't really beat Toya's ass like I wanted to." 

To Kari and Toya, Mariah warns, "The same way I brought you in, I will block you out."

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Last night was the conclusion of the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion. And it was a whirlin', twirlin', spinning time. There were more lies, half-truths, and defense mechanisms swirling around that stage than in the eye of a tornado. And I'm dizzy. 

A certain someone in a yellow dress needs to sit down and get her twirl out of Andy Cohen's face. Lord knows that may have been the closest he's ever been to a lady's anatomy.

Things begin with recapping Kim Zolciak's exit from the stage (and the show!). She texted NeNe Leakes a bevy of glowing compliments. In exchange NeNe wishes her well and calls her out on the wig pieces she was trying to pass off as her "real hair". Wig shade never ceases to amuse me. I call Kim's clip-in beehive "Marge". 

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