Also, let’s get one thing clear – Bethenny didn’t want to host brunch to show off her Hamptons home (and really how could she being homeless and all) she wanted to show off her Skinnygirl collection.
It all begins at Luann de Lesseps‘ cozy Hamptons abode, the girls are clustered around the living room, drinking coffee and gossiping as real girlfriends do, also leisurely braiding Carole Cradziwill‘s toe hair (EWWW – isn’t that what Cindy Barshop is for – don’t you get the Real Housewives Federation Association discount on all waxations from here until the end of time – if you can manage to find your way out to Quogue.).
Last night was the ALDC’s final week in Los Angeles on Dance Moms…somehow I feel like I’ve typed that more than once! As usual, Abby Lee Miller was her normal horribly hateful self…with a few (very few!) moments of compassion. The episode was the battle of the video vixens, except (sadly), in this case, the “vixens” are preteens. Don’t get me started on age appropriateness! Much like MacKenzie was transformed into MackZ, Kendall is no longer Kendall. She’s Kendall K. As she and Jill arrive to the set of her military inspired music video, the first words out of Abby’s mouth are “take that, Holly!” Such class with this one! Abby goes on and on about how Holly has extracted Nia from the group by choosing to work with Aubrey O’Day. Let’s be honest…had she not, is there any one of you who thinks Nia would have gotten the same attention that Abby is now giving Kendall…K? Jill chooses to sleep at night by telling herself that Holly created the ultimate betrayal by not blindly trusting Abby to have her daughter’s best interests at heart. As long as Kendall is finally Abby’s golden child, Jill doesn’t mind potentially losing a friend. I think she’s forgotten just how fickle Abby can be!
At pyramid, JoJo is on the bottom for not standing out in the group routine. MacKenzie joins her for not living up to her potential while in LA. Nia and Kalani make up the middle rung for impressive performances in the group number. Kendall is in the second spot for a stellar video shoot, and Maddie regains her top spot for getting winning the overall solo routine at last week’s competition. This week, Maddie is performing at the Grammys, and she shares that she and Sia have become like family. Kendall and JoJo are granted solos, and JoJo will be dancing in a straight jacket. The group number is entitled Platinum, and Abby likens it to Kendall’s musical future. Nia stands stone-faced, getting zero recognition from her lifelong dance teacher. Abby reveals that this week’s competition will be judged by their peers.
Man – I’m disappointed in Bravo. They left out all the fun stuff from Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills to focus on Kim “RAMBLES OF MY SOBRIETY” Richards. Yes, we missed Eileen Davidson announcing she’s driving her Ford Flex to collect her Emmy, so we could instead hear KimKillah wax poetic about all the terrible things HARRY did while Lisa Rinna was sleeping, only to deny she ever said them because she doesn’t remember, only to admit she made the whole implication up! Anyway, Bravo – more Emmys and less Kimmies. (And how gorgeous did Eileen look in her Emmy gown).
So, what else happened. Oh – Yolanda Foster “downsized.” With Mauricio as her guide towards these uncharted territories of humble abodes, Yolanda house hunted. Yes – she realized having a 4,000 tree lemon grove was just a touch too much even for her perma-master cleanse state of being, so she looked at houses in the 8,000 – 4,500 square-foot range. But oh, they were just not for Yo!
I have officially been Southern Charmed. This Shakespearean comedy of errors continues to grow on me from week to week, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t share that I was lucky enough to pop in on Cooper Ray’s recent fashion show promoting his Social Primer line. The vibe was Risky Business, with chiseled models in Oxfords and undies sporting his whimsical designs. Who knew one could make classic seersucker and madras so cutting edge? Cooper was a gracious and genuine host, and he revealed that he styled NYC Prep’s Sebastian for the Paper Magazine article I harped on a few weeks ago. Did someone say “kindred”?
Last night’s episode begins with Kathryn Dennis tending to the adorable Kensington as Thomas Ravenel struggles to move a crib into the new downtown nursery. Cameran Eubanks is working the real estate market, and, not surprisingly, Craig Conover and Shepard “Shep” Rose are snoozing through a beautiful morning. Shep admits he doesn’t do anything productive before noon, citing that he once broke up with a girl who tried to start his day at 9:30. No thank you. Patricia Altschul is perusing Garden and Gun (but of course) as the OG butler plays veterinarian to her pampered pooches. She dials up son Whitney Sudler-Smith who regales her with his European vacation plans–Look kids, Big Ben! Parliament!–with his German reality star girlfriend, giggling at how pretentious his travel agenda sounds. He relays that he will be attending a party thrown by Winston Churchill’s grandson at a pristine castle. It’s all so gauche I can hardly stand it!
Kathryn and T-Rav head to Upper King to buy out Morris Sokol for their downtown abode. I once took out a loan to buy a throw pillow there, but the store’s furniture is absolutely stunning. Thomas is beyond thrilled that the new house will keep Kathryn preoccupied with decorating and coffee dates and ladies who lunch, but Kathryn thinks the closer proximity to Thomas’ office will allow for more couple time. T-Rav humps a temperpeadic (“I like it, it’s quiet…”) and claims that they will have plenty of opportunity to work on their relationship once his election is over. Until then, he needs to focus on the campaign trail.
After JoDez (I may be trying out some new nicknames this season…)went down in a blaze of glory at last season’s reunion, Mimi can only hope that Stevie has enough sense to steer clear of the train wreck. If not, she refuses to get involved with their drama (yeah, right!). After that pesky shower rod incident with Nikko that ended up making Vivid gajillions of dollars, Mimi has penned a tome about her experiences and kicked Nikko to the curb. Sex tape leaks she can forgive, but secret marriages? Not so much. We’ll see how long this lasts. She’s also traded her mop bucket for recording studio, and she’s teamed with Stevie to manage new artists. After listening to Tiffany Foxx, Stevie knows that no one can compare to Joseline’s music but he’s willing to ogle her creepily. When he learns that she’s on the outs with Nikko, Stevie offers Mimi a bottle of his special sauce–I honestly thought he’d started a barbeque line or something, but he means his sperm. Please stop now. Mimi can’t believe how ridiculous he is, yet she still wants to work with him.
Yes! It’s the night of the pop-up runway show and some police…uh, interference. Last night on Blood, Sweat, and Heels, it’s Fashion Week in NYC and the ladies are prepping their various businesses in hopes of forwarding their names in the industry. GenevaThomas, apparently now a fashion journalist who studied fashion at NYU, scored a 1-on-1 interview with designer Byron Lars, which she’s proud of. In another proud moment later tonight, Geneva will be showing us how to pair police handcuffs with a low patent leather pump (spoiler alert!). Daisy Lewellen is werking the mike off-off stage somewhere, where the Real Housewives of Atlanta have been cordoned off: well, at least Cynthia Bailey and Kenya Moore, who describe who they’re wearing, then peace out. Daisy’s running hard again, covering 6-7 fashion shows a day (and modeling her new Beyonce-inspired wigs!).
Mica Hughes is checking out bar/restaurant venues for her “pop up runway show.” Bottom line: it’s a fashion show with a flash mob feel. What can go wrong, I ask you? I guess the restaurant they’re scoping out will soon host unsuspecting patrons whose happy hours are interrupted by models and Mica popping out of nowhere working a makeshift runway. Please let this happen to me at some point in my life!
Season 7 of The Real Housewives Of Atlanta has come to an end – now we just have to get through the reunion. Can we? Yes, we can… with vodka. As they say: Life Twirls On… and so does the drama!
NeNe Leakes is in NYC for her debut in Broadway’s Cinderella. She’s got Michael Jackson’s sequined underwear on her head as a hat. Is it better or worse than the wig she’s got on underneath? With rehearsals ending, NeNe walks on the Broadway stage for the first time and is spellbound.
NeNe tosses her sequined-granny panties in the air and spins – not twirls – because she made it after all – away from the little town of Athens, away from the stripper pole, away from Wigs-N-Cigs and Krayonce, and onto the Great White Way where it is ALL. About. NeNe. The fans, the name in lights, the billboards on Times Square – all about NeNe. Those other people standing on stage with her? Mere extras in the giant production of life that is NeNe Leakes: The Impressive Adventures of Success As Told By Success Herself: Blooperella! NeNe admits she’s nervous.
NeNe does recognize she can’t run off stage if things don’t go her way, right?
Last night on Little Women: NY, Dawn Lang is #sorrynotsorry about her behavior at the burlesque show. And Lila Call’ssobriety & dating life throw her into a tailspin of sorts.
We start with a debriefing session about the burlesque show Jordanna Jamesput on that included Jazmin Lang as a first-time performer and Dawn as a repeat-hosebag. Dawn, Jazmin’s sister in law, voiced her disgust with the show, making Jazmin cry and Jordanna enraged. Now, Lila,Misty Irwin, Jordanna, Kristin Zettlemoyer, andJason Perezare gathered to talk about the previous night’s antics. Jordanna still thinks Dawn is just trying to keep little people in a box. Kristin reminds the group that Dawn has a thick skull and never listens to anyone’s perspective. She also claims Dawn a lot of issues being a little person herself, so she projects her bitterness and insecurities onto everyone else. The group proposes a Mardi Gras party to loosen the stick lodged up Dawn’s derriere. Lila reveals to the group that she has a date with an average size guy she met online. She didn’t reveal in her online profile that she’s a little person, but she claims if he has eyes, he’ll be able to figure that mystery out when he meets her.