Recaps

Kandi is angry with Phaedra

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta, no one was feeling the love – well, except for Porsha Williams! She got all the love everyone else lost. Does that make up for Kordell locking her out of the house, then throwing away the key?

To prepare for the reality that she finally found a boyfriend who actually wants to be with her, and sensing the possibility that she could really, truly have kids some day, Porsha dresses up in all her fancy clothes to babysit Phaedra Parks‘ sons. After the stress of the bomb threat, Phaedra deserves a night out. Personally, letting Porsha babysit sounds like the blind leading the blind. Ayden and Dylan are actually way smarter than Porsha and ran amok over her.

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Don't Be Tardy season finale

OK, Don’t Be Tardy fans and haters, we made it through another season of Kim Zolciak Biermann’s life, just barely. Between health scares and the stress of just living la vida Kim, some episodes, we were hanging on by a thread. Or so Kim would have us believe. She still managed to deliver us her most expensive baby yet, her skincare line Kashmere, which I’m sure is selling like hot cakes in the link of her Instagram bio. As for long suffering husband Kroy Biermann, his football career still hangs in the balance (although if you follow any Kim news at all, you already know he was signed and then released from the Buffalo Bills).

Since the launch of Kashmere, Kim has been having some “weird” symptoms that she’s chalking up to the stress of self promoting a skincare line while simultaneously having a birthday party. I mean, can you guys imagine the stress? And you thought your life was hectic *snort*. Anyway, this brings Kim to an appointment with her cardiologist.

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Survivor finale

The ultimate generational battle between Millennials and Gen-Xers has finally come to an end, and there is a clear winner: Us. Yes, the audience came out on top this time, bearing witness to a great, unpredictable season of Survivor that just kept picking up steam and never stopped getting better. That held true all the way through tonight’s two-hour finale, as well as one of the better, tighter reunion shows in recent memory. It was a fitting end to one hell of a season.

Of course, tonight they crowned the Sole Survivor of Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen-X, the 32nd person ever to hold that title.  Thank you for being here and sticking through this truly great season…and you’ve come this far, so we might as well journey through one last recap before you catch your breath and ready yourself for Season 34 next March (and it looks promising…more on this later). Let’s do this!

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LVP

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, one lady celebrated a monumental birthday, while another celebrated administering a monumental dose of comeuppance with the touch of her bejeweled-gloved fingers.

While Lisa Vanderpump is stewing in the juices of last season’s arguments, Kyle Richards is cruising around in a Lamborghini with Lisa Rinna. Look at Kyle, just gloating on air like the revolution of a Lambo’s wheels, so happy is she to be the appointed so-called peace-maker. Under Kyle’s caftan is a haven of support and unconditional gossip.

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Ladies of London recap

Have you heard of Mapperton? No? Really? Well, let Julie Montagu introduce you to it for the thousandth time! Hear ye, Hear ye! Let it be known throughout the kingdom that Mapperton is a magical place of stables and gardens and struggling gift shops, the hopes of which reside precariously upon the shaky shoulders of the future Sandwich Countess! Er, Countess of Sandwich. Otherwise known as Julie, the unofficial Ladies Of London town crier.

Although Julie is quite impressed with her estate and the aristocratic glitter dust that comes with it, Caroline Stanbury is certainly not – nor is she impressed with those who do pledge allegiance to Julie’s schemes and delusions. Thus, when the ladies visit Mapperton this week, Julie and long time (soon to be former?) friend Adela King are caught in the cross hairs of Caroline’s wrath.

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Vanderpump Rules recap

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules celebrated Pride, but it was far from the jubilant affair it usually is in light of the Orlando nightclub shooting, which happened the day before.

I’m not sure how to write this recap for a couple reasons: 1) there was a lot of the usual f-ked up SUR drama surrounding Pride and the tragic events; and 2) Tom Sandoval made his ugly cry face but it seems wrong to make fun of it because he was crying about the Orlando tragedy. Conundrum. I also feel bad swooning over how glorious Peter looked. (Cause he did).

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Kenya and Matt drama

There was so much crazy on this episode of Real Housewives Of Atlanta. Breaking up was in the air… and so was the awful stench of Mama Joyce‘s desperation. When is this show getting new producers?

After Phaedra Parks‘ office received a so-called bomb threat, she called in 10,000 Strong (The Nation Of Islam) for a little lesson in self defense without showing your slip. Everybody knows… actions speak louder than words, and your words should be killing them with kindness like a bee trapped in honey! Everybody also knows it’s better to be safe than sorry!

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Survivor

Two more have fallen and the table has now been set for next week’s two-hour Survivor finale. Yes, unlucky Episode 13 spelled the end for two of the remaining eight players vying for the million and the title of Sole Survivor. It was a bit of a rushed episode, but heck, that’s going to happen when you cram two Tribal Councils into one hour. And this group of players is so focused, so “in the game” that there is little in the way of unnecessary drama down the stretch thus far, as each player tries to carve out their own end-game with surgical precision.

Let’s walk through what went down, but first by law I must warn you of potential spoilers, should you not have seen the episode (and if you didn’t, then what are you doing reading a recap? I mean, I appreciate it and all, but go watch the episode and then come back here, silly!)

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!