Recaps

90 Day Fiance recap

On this season of 90 Day Fiance, it’s come down to this: Who can save themselves, and who cannot. Whereas in seasons past, we’ve seen a pretty balanced mix of true love stories (remember Amy and Danny?) and totally deranged psychopaths trapping young wives into servitude (hello, Mark and Nikki!), this season seems to be offering up one big ole’ sloppy mess of singles who travel the globe with the express purpose of making bad decisions.

Case in point: Nicole and Azan, who are still in Morocco “getting to know” one another. This week, this task involves camels. And physical exertion. Two things Nicole is decidedly not a fan of!

Before we get to recapping last night’s episode, it’s worth mentioning that 90 DF spoilers have been popping up all over the place this week about who makes it down the aisle and who calls it quits. Like all spoilers, they aren’t 100% accurate, as they’re mostly based on social media posts and viewer conjecture. However, if they are even partially true, some of these people actually come to their senses and get out of their doomed engagements. Maybe all hope is not lost for these confused souls!

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Little Women: Atlanta recap

Little Women: Atlanta is in full wedding mode, thanks to Monie Cashette’s recent engagement. But if you have ever planned a wedding (or watched this show), you know that big events mean even bigger drama and this wedding is going to be no exception. Friendships are shifting faster than I can keep up with but in an effort to keep you all in the loop, I’m going to try my best!

The day that Monie has been waiting for arrives. No, not the wedding itself but wedding dress shopping! She brings Bri Barlup and Ms. Juicy along to help her pick something out while bragging about going to the best wedding dress boutique in Atlanta. When they arrive, they are given pencils and paper and have to walk around the store, writing down which dresses they like… isn’t that how it works at IKEA? I’m not impressed so far.

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Don't Be Tardy recap

On last night’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy, the Biermanns are packing up and heading west. It’s time for a vacation from the day to day stresses of… ummmm… let me see… what are the stresses these people face on the daily? Caring for a new puppy and managing a busy Snapchat account? I can’t think of anything else so let’s just roll with that.

Since the trip to Montana is technically a trip home for Kroy Biermann, it will give him the opportunity to show his kids where he is from and also ask one of his close friends to be the executor of their estate and guardian of their kids if something should happen to them. Kim Zolciak Biermann’s stroke hasn’t just given her a new perspective on day to day life, it’s also made her realize their will is out of date and they can’t rely on either of their families when it comes to taking care of their brood.

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Little Women: LA recap

Last night on Little Women: LA, Terra Jole faced some frightening complications during the C-section birth of her second child (thank goodness we know all is okay, real time!). It didn’t help matters that charming hubby Joe Gnoffo suspiciously scheduled himself to be “out of the country” just days before the blessed event – something Terra was none too happy about.

Also, Jasmine Sorge has apparently gone through deep counseling to get over her very serious issue of not being a dog-person, because she’s back on the scene this week looking smug as ever as Christy McGinity all but BEGS her to be allowed back into the friend group. I’m sorry, but Jasmine being the gatekeeper of who’s “in” and who’s “out” among these ladies is just laughable. Not to mention, it’s totally the position Jasmine has been vying for since she first appeared on the scene. I half expected her to rise up from the cafe chair after her conversation with Christy, shouting maniacally, “THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!!!” – Highlander style. This chick is slithery.

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Survivor: Millennials Vs. Gen X recap

No matter what generation you belong to, certain rules of Survivor apply to all ages. For starters, many of the “greats” that have played the game have been called by their last names: Hatch, Cochran, Savage, etc. (this is good news for you “Figgy” fans, as this is a play on her last name, Jessica Figueroa).

Another classic lesson learned though, is never get comfortable. Just when you think you’re on the top, you’re usually sharing the screen with a lower-third graphic that reads #blindside. Such was the case tonight, on the latest episode of Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen-X – an episode that saw the bottom-feeders fighting for survival and those resting on their laurels get a rude awakening.

Here’s your “spoiler” warning, so if you have yet to see Episode 3 please do so and then check back here! Beyond this point we will be talking about all of the juicy details of what transpired during the episode. You’ve been warned!

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Below Deck recap

Last week on Below Deck, we waved goodbye to Trevor Walker with our middle fingers and saw Sierra Storm break down in tears over a high stress night in the kitchen with Ben Robinson. Now, Miss “I Need To Have Positivity Around Me” is thinking about leaving because of her super special hurt feelings.

But before anyone can muster any forced sympathy for Sierra, they’ll have to adjust to a new deckhand on board. And he’s here to add more complexity to the already messy love triangle (growing quickly into a trapezoid!) on Valor. It’s gonna be stormy seas, folks!

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Real Housewives of Orange County recap

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County, there was a whiff of secrets in the air and Shannon Beador made the decision to ‘fake it til she doesn’t have to make it anymore’ in her non-friendship with Vicki Gunvalson.

It’s not like Shannon had an epiphany No, she was just tired of everyone pointing out the obvious: she has unresolved issues with Vicki. Of course Vicki resorted to thinly veiled threats basically forcing Shannon to act like her friend, or else, because the best way to start over is by holding a person hostage by potential secrets. ‘Or else’ what…we’re not sure since Vicki has the ‘or else’ in ‘the vault’ stored alongside the date she realized Brooks was faking cancer.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey recap

Last night was the dramatic conclusion of the Real Housewives Of New Jersey trip to Vermont. What started as a half-hearted placebo of a cast trip which no one was really thrilled to be attending, turned into attack of the abominable Sno-Housewife roaring her icy accusations into everyone’s chicken wing salad. I don’t know that I was entertained, per se, but there were lots of twists and turns on the bobsled ride to hell and back!

Being around Jacqueline Laruita must be so exhausting. Like trying to chart tornado paths. Honestly – I’d rather just go hide in the bomb cellar, cause with Jacqueline you never know if you’re going to get Glinda the Good Witch or her sister, and no sparkly shoes are worth all that drama.

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