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The teens on last night's Sister Wives got a bit of a reality check.  Maddie, Logan, and Aspyn are volunteering for an organization that helps families who want to leave the polygamist lifestyle.  They are traveling back to Utah to paint a house for a family to move into after leaving the LDS community.  Kody Brown and his hair hope that Aspyn will remember that plural marriage is a good thing.  Christine isn't on board with this trip because she wonders if there are times when people are are "helped" when they really don't want to necessarily leave.

Kody and the wives are optimistic that the teens will remember how different their family is from the families they are about to see.  Maddie can't fathom the abuse that some people in plural marriages suffer, and Aspyn is worried that she won't be able to relate to the victims.  Right away they meet a polygamist escapee Kollene who readily admits she wants to take out some of her anger on the Browns.  Kody is upset that Warren Jeffs has painted his lifestyle in such a bad light. 

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Shahs of Sunset is back, and the ratings, insults, hair and boobs, and fights are bigger than ever. Last week's season two premiere ended with an explosive fight between Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi and Asa Soltan Rahmati.

 At the Zoom Room, a social club for L.A.'s richest dogs, GG and Mercedes "MJ" Javid discuss the disastrous dinner party. GG dismisses anything negative or raunchy that MJ has to say about her behavior the night before. GG claims she doesn't remember anything that happened, including her new guy's hand up her skirt at the dinner table, but she remembers every single word Asa said. That's some tricky whiskey.  Taking the high road, GG says she should have toasted to Asa's non-lipoed, blubber ass. 

Moving on, over dinner, Asa tells her parents that she has moved back into her house because she's broke. Without missing a beat, Asa's mom tells her to get a job.  Asa says, "Are you serious right now? I'm a Persian Pop Priestess. That's my job." Mom asks, "What the hell is that?" I'd like to know, too.

Asa laments, "If you're not a lawyer, doctor, or engineer, you're a slave in my parents' eyes." Asa's mom begs Asa to go back to school, to get her PhD. Asa says she has three PhDs – Persian. Pop. Priestess. Needless to say, mom isn't impressed with her credentials. 

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Last night the ladies of Real Housewives of Atlanta lost one Wig Zolciak and gained one Porsha Stewart – officially – and then they said good riddance to bad rubbish and headed to paradise. Sadly it was a bit of paradise lost when Kenya Moore lost it and got frisky, handsy, desperate and crazy. I don't ever want to hear her telling anyone how they should behave again after she fondled two women's husbands and solicited a concierge for a sperm donation. On twitter she blamed her antics on the "ah ah ah ah alcohol" Girl – there are no words. 

Things pick off where they left off last week with Kim storming out of the restaurant during the pre-Anguilla planning brunch. Kim stomps outside and immediately smacks a camera man, telling him, "get the f–k out of my face!" The camera crew laughs and is like, 'Please bitch, it's called a contract and you signed one!'

This is cue for Kroy Biermann (remember when we all thought he was so nice and sweet and too good for Kim?) to leap from the waiting Escalade – still driving the car Big Poppa bought, I see – and start screaming and threatening the camera crew. Oh Gomer Pyle you're so tuff. You lose your dignity over lady wig and you yell that f-word loud and proud so your mama in Montana can hear. Right. So anyone else so tired of the wigs and cigs hour?

After that the camera man reminds Kroy that Bravo will slap his butt with a lawsuit and that's not the sort of being f–ked he wants to deal with so better get in the car and drive away. 

And with that Wig and Gomer drove off to the townhouse Big Poppa bought and Kim screamed "I'm done!" 

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Aaaaahhh… girls trip. Never a more ominous phrase in the reality TV vernacular, right? And last night it was no exception for the Real Housewives of Miami.

Like all girls trips it started off innocently enough; there were the usual shenanigans of missing identification, too much luggage, small plane anxiety, and of course master bedroom mayhem. But the new twist was 'Oops I caught your boyfriend cheating!' 

Yeah, Karent Sierra, her teeth, and her smile were bamboozled, blindsided, and backed into a corner. And for a second – just one, small, teensy-weensy second – her smile faltered, the shine of the veneers started to fade, and the future didn't look so blinding white and perfect. Karent learned an important reality TV lesson last night – don't eff with a Real Housewife because those girls are vicious. More vicious than piranhas and they will eat their own for relevance. Well, some of them. It was the initiation of a new Housewife in full force. 

Let's break this down, shall we. 

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Okay, so I guess it's time to say good-bye to Vinny Guadagnino, DJ Pauly D Devecchio, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Ronni Ortiz-Magro, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola, and Deena Cortese.  I feel like I'm slowly bidding farewell to cousins I don't acknowledge.  Three episodes left?  It's devastating, y'all!

We resume the Jersey Shore with Vinny trying to make amends with Snooki's fiance Jionni…at his future son's baby shower no less.  It's super awkward.  Jionni questions Vinny about joking that Vin is the actual dad.  The conversation is seamless, and all is good in the land of Jionni and Vin.  Really?  I thought that MTV would have sprung for more drama.  Thankfully Jionni's insecurities don't get in the way of a bottle chugging contest.  Rawn wins.  Who is shocked?

Snooki loves unwrapping baby clothes, champagne, and wine, typical baby shower gifts.   Jenni asks Jionni to come around more often which basically calls him out for not being present up to this point.  Snooki is just thrilled for a baby day.  While she still can't look at Mike, she's excited about all of her presents.  Mike is planning his entrance for when he can finally make amends with Snooki.  After a Mike-Snooki video montage, Sitch heads to Nicole's apartment.  I'm unsure as to whether this is part of his twelve step program.  Yikes.

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Last week on Top Chef, John Tesar and Josh Valentine created so much drama, Kristen Kish won $10,000 for her extra special mushrooms, Tyler Wiard brought the Eeyore impressions, and Chrissy Camba and Carla Pellegrino were eliminated for soggy salad and undercooked squab, respectively. 

Immediately following last week's elimination, the fourteen remaining cheftestants soak in the "Carla's gone" silence, Josh whines because he sucks, and Stefan Richter worries about the season five birthday curse.  

Tyler laments, "Being on top today doesn't mean shit. I better continue to do the best I can, because, tomorrow, I could be gone." So goes the Top Chef Seattle kiss of death… Jeffrey Jew excelled in week one and was eliminated in week two. Kuniko Yagi won the elimination challenge in week two and was eliminated in week three. Carla Pellegrino won the elimination challenge in week three and was eliminated in week four. Last week, Lizzie Binder, Kristen, Tyler, and Stefan served the best dishes. As I mentioned above, Kristen rocked the mushrooms and took the prize for the week.  

So, what does all of this mean? I have no idea. :) Will Kristen break the curse? Does Tyler have a reason to be worried? Will Stefan lose because it's his birthday? Will John and Josh keep away from each other this week? Let's find out!

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Yesterday Jeff Lewis was on Watch What Happens Live with the extremely annoying Lisa Rinna. After the requisite debates about Jeff possibly wearing a wig and having lip implants/injections, the Flipping Out star responded to questions about the lawsuit with Jenni Pulos over a book she's writing which may or may not have juicy details about working with him.

If you recall Jenni has a book in the works that discusses dealing with difficult bosses and workplace dramas, among other things. Jeff requested a copy of the manuscript from Jenni's publishing house and was denied. He since filed a suit to stop the publication.  

As always Jeff was completely blunt. He said his attorney didn't want him discussing the matter, but oh well! "I'm still in a state of disbelief over this whole thing," Jeff said. "It was a last resort. I tried to work out every possible reconciliation." 

He believes he was forced to file the suit after trying repeatedly to negotiate with Jenni over the content. "A book was written without my knowledge," Jeff said. He maintains that he encourages Jenni to pursue opportunities outside of the show but he needs to protect the confidentiality of his clients and his business.

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Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the ladies got wild and out in Ojai. I have to say last night was one of the most fun episodes ever and it makes you think if they all got their panties out of a wad, relaxed, and spoke to each other like normal people instead of obsessing over petty drama they'd all get along and be fun. But alas, that would be too easy and far too mature. 

Things begin with the girls still in Ojai where Brandi Glanville has just dropped the eff-bomb at Buckingham Palace in front of Queen Elizabeth and her corgis. Oh, wait –  no she didn't. She just said it to Adrienne Maloof, but the way these ninnies were acting you'd think this was the most official, classy, elegant prestigious dinner in all the world. I don't know why they were all getting up on their high horses acting like they've never said F-U before when we all know they use it. Right, Splits Richards?

Anyway, Brandi and Kim Richards were doing a big Ojai love-in and pouring their hearts out when Adrienne gets on the intercom with her whiny, donkey voice to announce that someone is crying in Aisle 5 and clean-up is required. Repeat, someone – ahem KIM – is crying!

So Brandi was forced to tell Adrienne to eff off and everyones' heads snapped around like Adrienne just announced that someone was peeing on a Chanel bag. Their mouths dropped, and they glared at Brandi as if she was pee culprit desecrating the holy statue. 

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