It has been nearly a year since we last traveled the road with love-struck Americans and their overseas fiances for the 90-day journey that, in my opinion, turns into one of THE best reality television shows out there. Yes, folks, 90-Day Fiance is back for season 4 on TLC, and last night’s multi-episode premiere started off what looks to be an epic season filled with true love, super sketchy fiances, and – wait for it – Danielle and Mohammed updates from season 2!!! (We won’t be recapping the past season update, but feel free to comment below. 🙂 )
In case we missed the antics of that totally tragic couple, we’re presented with Danielle and Mohammed 2.0 this season in the “love affair” of Nicole and Azan. I swear, TLC combed the planet just to find these two. I guess we can offer thanks that there won’t be a Mark and Nikki 2.0 joining us for another American Horror Story installment since Mark has probably already buried her body in his basement. #SmallVictories But, before we look back, let’s see who’s on the docket to get hitched this season!
Sadly, last week may have possibly held the only tender moment we’ll see on this season’s Flipping Out, as Jeff Lewis has officially lost his one remaining marble. With the stress of their Valley Vista remodel looming before them, the drama with Zoila Chavez behind them, and the promise of a new life joining them soon, Gage Edward and Jeff are at a crossroads. Instead of using his big boy coping strategies like therapist Dr. Donna suggested, Jeff instead opts for a full nuclear meltdown with a side of rage. At Gage, at architects, at ducks, at mailboxes. You name it! He’s on a tear.
Since Silent Matt has left, Gage has been picking up some major slack. But Jeff chooses to mercilessly rag on him in the car on their way to a job site anyway. In the back seat, Gage is at his breaking point as Jenni Pulos sits in the front seat awkwardly trying to diffuse the situation with a combination of whispery mantras and subtle side-eyes. Suddenly, we flash back to three days prior to see how they ended up in this pressure cooker of resentment.
Last night’s Real Housewives Of New York reunion was dominated by one tantruming, feet-stomping toddler bellowing “I can say what I want!” No – I did not turn my three-year-old loose on Andy, but after witnessing the un-checked behavior of Bethenny Frankel, I’m certainly not comfortable letting anyone at Bravo babysit. OK, maybe Jules Wainstein, if she brings her “waiting on line” nanny and potty training expert.
Things begin with Luann de Lesseps calling Bethenny a “horrible person” for calling her boyfriend’s teenage daughter to “verify” she didn’t have an affair*, which resulted in Bethenny standing over Luann to scream “LieAnn” (nice twitter steal) in her face. Luann telling Bethenny she’s “evil” didn’t even cause Bethenny to flinch – despite what the previous depicted.
Last week, we saw Monie Cashette flinging anything that comes out of a bottle on the newly arrived Other Twins Hope and Charity after they called her out for food stamp fraud that happened years ago in a land far, far away (Texas, y’all). We start out in the same place we left off as last week but nothing new has really developed, outside of Monie’s poor fiancé, Morlin, being shown trying to wrangle in his wild woman and make sure she does not take the whole damn ship down with her.
On last night’s Little Women: LA, Briana Renee and Matt Ericson became the proud parents of new son, Maverick Jax. But Briana isn’t out of the woods yet. Her troubled pregnancy has left her exhausted and in need of some serious recovery time. Meanwhile, the 400 other pregnant women on this show are planning a Murder Party! Because someone must die at some point on LWLA, if only in theory. There will be blood.
Elena Gant and Terra Jole are at a Russian spa getting mud masks. Neither of them have heard from Briana since she fled her pre-pop party the day before. She was having pain and, at 35 weeks pregnant, she might have been going into pre-term labor. Why are these chicks worried? Briana communicates with NO ONE when she is in a crisis, so this is nothing new. Plus, Matt does not allow her to use her phone while she’s in the hospital or otherwise. Duh.
So, on a scale of one to without question, how happy is Maddie Ziegler to be out from under Abby Lee Miller’s thumb? Only time will tell, but if last night’s Dance Moms season premiere was any indicator, the rest of the ALDC elite team needs to follow suit.
Abby has amped up the crazy (with all her legal woes, can you blame her?), and the mini moms are instigating drama among the veteran mothers…as if those ladies really need any push to engage in ridiculous and horrendous behavior…on camera, no less. But those sweet girls…I have certainly missed them and their talent!
The show begins with the girls and their mothers heading into the Los Angeles studio after a much needed break. JoJo Siwa believes that it seems incredibly different without the Ziegler sisters, and Kalani hopes that Abby will realize the elite team can hold their own without them…although she’s not holding her breath.
Ahoy mateys! It’s time for season 4 of Below Deck, the show that proves Bravo does still kinda loves us and wants us to be happy. Last night, we met a new cast of characters sure to shake things up aboard luxury yacht Valor as it sails the Caribbean seas.
Already coming in with fan bases from seasons past are no-nonsense leader Captain Lee Rosbach, chief steward Kate Chastain, head chef Ben Robinson, and newly promoted bosun Kelley Johnson (sans sister Amy this time around). Last seen, one of these characters acted like a giant bag of d–che (I’ll give you a clue…his name rhymes with Smelley), while another crew member has picked up an unexpected girlfriend along the way! They also have the odd assortment of new deckhands and stews to up the ante this year. So, let’s dive on in!
On last night’s Real Housewives Of New Jersey, the saga of Teresa Giudice‘s never-wavering love for Joe continued. Unfortunately for Joe, he’s about to go away for a 41 month ‘staycation’ at the federal penitentiary and no home security cameras are gonna replace him once Teresa takes over.
While Joe binge drinks and verbally abuses his dog, daughters, and wife, Teresa gets ready for the official launch of Turning The Tables. A lot rests on this little book – a veritable ‘How Not To’ manual for aspiring Italian Housewives everywhere. A tale as aged as wine of a woman who vowed to stand by her man through orange is the new black, through bankruptcy and back, through thick and thickening girth, through humiliation and outbursts, through cheating and chutzpah…