Recaps

Nico & Brianna flirt

So much happened on last night’s Below Deck that my head is spinning from all the activities! There were fights, and costumes, and kinda celebrity guests (not the exciting kind). There was also one of Matt Burns burn out episodes, sandwiched in between Brianna Adekeye and Nico Scholly‘s elicit romance (fauxmance? boredom-mance?). But at least, under the tutelage of EJ Jansen, the deck crew is finally getting their crap together. Too bad the same can’t be said for the stew crew!

The episode begins with Nico and EJ feuding over who is the bigger asshole. Remember boys, one finger pointing at each other means four fingers pointing back at yourself! EJ may have menacingly called Nico “buddy boy” while he seized possession of Valor from Nico’s ego, but Nico was still the bigger jerk for accusing EJ of being drunk and repeatedly calling him an asshole while storming around the boat, sulking, and then swearing to quit the next day if he wasn’t promoted to his rightful position as bosun.

kail

Tonight’s episode of Teen Mom 2 reveals what’s wrong with baby Stella after Briana DeJesus had to rush her to the ER, while a very pregnant Kailyn Lowry ends up in the hospital with her own complications. Chelsea DeBoer moves forward with plans to change Aubree’s last name as well as wedding planning, Leah Messer tries to keep growing tension between the twins at bay on vacation and Jenelle Evans’ relationships with her mom Barb continue to deteriorate.

Kail and the boys are still in St. Thomas on their last family vacation before the baby comes but at 35 weeks, Kail is feeling uncomfortable and notices some unusual swelling in her feet. As the day progresses, her hands and face start to swell, so the producers call a doctor since she’s worried about pre-eclampsia. If she does, that means Kail wouldn’t be able to fly home and she debates on which island she could get to in order to have the baby still be a U.S citizen.

Shannon Beador

Last night on Real Housewives Of Orange County the little detective that can’t stop, Meghan Edmonds, decided it would be a great idea to host a party with a mystic named Michaela. You don’t need psychic powers to predict that this would go badly! Then to make matters worse they all left for Iceland – cause traveling to the ends of the earth with your enemies always turns out so swell!

What was Meghan hoping to find? Proof that Vicki  Gunvalson never loved Tamra at all? Or perhaps a reading on Peggy Sulahian‘s cancer scans? Or maybe what’s really inside Tamra Judge‘s six-pack core? All she found was a big old mess of Shannon Beador shrieking about David being the most trustworthy man alive while the Mystic watched open-mouthed.

Shahs of Sunset - Season 6

Well, another season of Shahs of Sunset has officially drawn to a close and instead of Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi ending up as the outcast of the season, instead we find Persian Pop Priestess and staple cast member, Asa Soltan Rahmati, exiled from this group of overgrown hooligans.

I think we all saw it coming when bestie/worstie of friends Reza Farahan didn’t exactly jump to Asa’s defense during her falling out with Mercedes “MJ” Javid over whether or not Asa used IVF to conceive her “miracle baby.” But let’s face it, MJ wasn’t really mad about Asa using IVF or not, she was really just pissed that Asa beat her to the punch when it came to having a kid. So MJ just found the weakest link in the Asa Chain (the fact that Asa isn’t forthcoming with all aspects of her life) and exploited it with the rest of the Shahs to get them on board with casting Asa aside. And it actually worked!

90 Day Fiance Recap: Parental Approval

Is it just plain naive to think that one couple on the train wreck of 90 Day Fiance could really, truly make it? Because I want that for Evelyn and David, young lovebirds who seem smitten with one another, are (somewhat) age-appropriately matched, and who share core values. Alas, the TLC machine might chew them up and spit them out by the end of season five, but until then, let’s pretend they are the real deal, okay? We need this!

In addition to Evelyn and David being introduced this week, we revisit the absolute sh*tshow of everyone else’s relationships. Nicole holds her daughter hostage goes to Morocco to further torture Azan, the other David (in Thailand) tries in vain to come up with enough scratch to pay for his bride, Annie. And Molly continues to delude herself into thinking that her much-younger fiance, Luis, is the love of her life – despite her eldest daughter’s protestations, not to mention her father’s warnings.

Zoila-Chavez-Blue-Cardigan-Making-Me-Bad-Quote-Flipping-Out

It’s the end of an era at Jeff Lewis Design – and for Flipping Out. Last night, we saw Zoila Chavez make the life altering decision to leave Jeff’s employment – forever – and despite her surly ways, I have to admit I shed a wee tear seeing the entire mess play out in living color. Her departure wasn’t good, but it was, in the end, inevitable.

After Gema, Jeff and Gage Edward’s eighth nanny, was fired last week, the household is reeling from a text the ex-nanny sent. She accused Zoila of working against Gage and sabotaging her at every turn regarding how she cared for Monroe. When Jeff questions Zoila about the specifics of Gema’s accusations, though, Zoila rails against the investigation. Since Jeff is too uncomfortable to actually face Zoila’s shadiness head on, he diffuses the situation by holding an impromptu mock trial. Megan Weaver, Jenni Pulos, Gage, and Jeff all laugh while they read the guilty verdicts one after another. Even the housekeeper, Laura, piles on. Although she initially laughs the game off, Zoila’s mirth quickly turns to anger.

Siggy-Flicker-Clapping-Dinner-Table-RHONJ

After last week’s premiere, I felt like the ladies of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey were finally bringing their A-game to Bravo. Like, maybe a producer sat them down and had a Friday Night Lights pep talk with them before cameras started rolling? Because the ingredient-zes in this year’s Sunday gravy seem just right! Maybe it’s the addition of powerhouse-in-pigtails Margaret Josephs, or maybe it’s the shock of seeing Danielle Staub’s face back on our TV screens without waiting for someone to spontaneously punch it? I don’t know. But I’m here for it!

Last night, cake-gate escalated into a mid-dinner walk out after Siggy Flicker called Melissa Gorga and (by proxy) Teresa Giudice trash. Danielle had a sudden bout of PTSD when she heard the T-word, railing against Siggy with all of the season-one angst she could muster. Dolores Catania continued to look like she’d rather be elsewhere, which kind of makes me question what she’s bringing to the table this year – other than an empty house and a fake storyline of he ex-hubby moving back in? And Teresa went to the beach with Margaret, Melissa, and Danielle to honor her late mother, Antonia, with a heart wrenching (but very sweet) flower ceremony.

My Kisses Are Very Private

Can you feel the love tonight on Survivor? Love, as they say, is a many splendored thing, and it was definitely in the air tonight on Survivor. But there was no love lost by the time we reached Tribal Council, where one castaway felt the sting of betrayal after succumbing to a brutal blindside. Yes, love hurts.

Please remember that this recap assumes that you have already seen this week’s Episode 3 of Survivor: HHH, so if you have not and don’t want to be spoiled, please come back later! It’s important to add too that while we WILL hit on all of the important developments of the episode, this is not a linear “blow-by-blow” recap, and is more of a discussion and reaction of what we just witnessed together.

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!