Tonight on The Rachel Zoe Project, we saw Rachel Zoe and family head off to New York to do some light penthouse shopping and pow-wow with the shoe gods.Rodger Berman went on lunchy-lunch man dates, complained about his wife and shockingly didn’t work. At RZ headquarters, the employees made the most of their Rachel freedom by rolling around on fur rugs, binging on chocolate Eiffel towers and giggling about fanny pack fashion suicide.
The episode begins with Rachel and Rodger in bed snuggling. Rachel is not a fan of Rodger’s snuggles, she seizes the opportunity and conveniently brings up apartment shopping in New York. Snuggle moment immediately blows up like a grenade and Rachel is secretly pleased at her sneaky tactics to avoid physical contact with her husband. #HappilyEverAfter. The happy couple begins to bicker about everything New York related. Rachel argues that all the travel back and forth is taking its toll on her and she is at her limit. Rodger believes this is just a ploy so his fashion happy other half won’t have to make hotel bookings anymore. Realistic much?
Last night's Duck Dynasty was rather risque for Robertson standards. There was bathroom humor, shrinkage concerns, and Miss Kay got super sassy talking about the birds and the bees. Willie fancied himself an action hero, while Jase took great pleasure in ribbing his brother. Si has never been colder than he was in 'Nam, and Phil just shook his head at the insanity of it all. Good times, for sure!
Willie and Jase are touring a giant Bass Pro Shop after being offered a large space to sell their Duck Commander products. While Willie is trying to work on a deal, Jase is hoping to score free stuff and tossing out horrible neon laden ideas. Is it just me, or is Jase a Si in training? The guys decide that a blown up photograph of the Robertson boys is just what the space needs.
At the warehouse, Martin and Godwin are playing Go Fish (don't they know that it's super hard to play that with just two people?) and Si is watching Jep play Donkey Kong on a Gameboy. Jase wonders why the boys are being so old school with their game choices, but Si reminds him that the simplest of games are the most fun…Kick the Can, horseshoes, lawn darts–if you are fortunate enough to actually survive a game of deadly lawn darts! Willie arrives and shares the news that the boys will be doing a photo shoot for their Bass Pro Shop space. After major eyerolling from Jase, Jep offers to take the pictures so he can 1) test out his new camera; and 2) avoid being memorialized forever in whatever craziness Willie has in mind. The photo session is set for Saturday–oh, wait…Jep isn't available on Saturday. He has his dodge ball league play-offs. Si likes the sound of that. He loves the idea of the duck, dive, and jive!
You never know which Abby Lee Miller you're going to get when you tune in to Dance Moms. Will she be nice? Excited? Motivational? Nah, she just loves stirring the pot, causing rifts between the mothers, and planning for the downfall of Cathy and her Candy Apples. Perhaps she'll throw in some taxidermy along the way…
We begin, as always, with pyramid time. Thankfully, the girls are coming off a big win at last week's competition. Abby switches it up by starting at the top…and Maddie is right back where she's always been. On the next rung is an excited Paige. Kendall joins Paige for being third, which, according to Abby, is better than second. Chloe is in the next spot even though she's been consistent with her top notch dancing. Nia is first on the bottom for flying under the radar. She's good, but not great. MacKenzie follows with Brooke who didn't dance last week…per Abby's orders. Abby shocks her troupes by adding Asia to the bottom of the pyramid as the newest team member. Asia competed on Abby's other show, and Abby warns the mothers about running off another mom.
This week, the dancers are heading to Michigan, and Cathy and her Candy Apples will be in attendance. The group number is called "Return to Grace," and it focuses on reincarnation. MacKenzie and Asia will be sitting out the group number. Kendall, Maddie, and Chloe will be dancing a jazz trio. Asia is gifted the only solo. As Abby works on the group number, the moms (especially Jill) are curious to see what the new mom will bring to the table.
The second hour begins after Leah and Jeremy's courthouse nuptials. The couple can finally qualify for a joint loan on their dream home. Due to the added expenses, Leah wants to ask Corey for more child support…because he should totally help pay her mortgage. I kid, I kid, he needs to be supporting his daughters to the best of his ability. Leah's heard through the grapevine that Corey has gotten a raise, so she calls him to see if he's willing to modify their agreement without going through the courts. When he asks for her reasons, she offers up that he needs to pay more for the twins' clothing. He's willing to discuss it when they meet to trade off the girls.
First, Jacoby Jones and Zendaya Coleman are named king and queen of the Dancing with the Stars prom. With over two million Twitter followers, Zendaya's queen status was a given, but I thought for sure #bachelornation would rally behind Sean Lowe. Lo and behold, it appears as if there's a new shirtless bachelor in town! Woot!
By the way, Zendaya and Val Chmerkovskiy and Jacoby and Karina Smirnoff are also SAFE!
It's Prom Night on Dancing with the Stars, which means big hair, cheesy back stories, and Sean Lowe dressed as Huckleberry Finn. Oh boy. This is going to be a very long two hours. Host Tom Bergeron says, "This is no April Fool's joke – it's really prom night," and waste of space Brooke Burke-Charvet adds, "And yes, I really wore my hair like this." Nobody cares, Brooke.
To go along with the theme, a prom king and prom queen will be crowned on tonight's results show. The winning male star and female star, which will be decided by Twitter, will each receive two bonus points to add to their original scores. I fully expect Zendaya and Sean to take those honors. We shall see.
Aly Raisman and Mark Ballas
Viennese Waltz: The combination of counting music and pretending to be hot for Mark Ballas proves to be too much for Aly to handle this week. She thinks all of the pressure is going to make her head explode. Well, at least she'd be somewhat interesting, then. While Aly and Mark's dance seems to be technically okay, Aly's movements always come across as cold and forced to me.
Even Lisa Vanderpump was annoying me because she kept stooping to certain people's levels and getting bitchy and bickery with them. I want Lisa to be the bigger person and I'm sure this season has gotten to her and all the nonsense as taken its toll, but hopefully she hasn't gotten too big for her britches as the fan favorite. I don't want to start hating her next season. Just stay away from those Bitchards – they bring out the worst in everyone!
Things resume with the Richards sisters launching some sort of verbal bouncy-seat, finger pointing, hair swishing assault on the eternally composed Yolanda Foster. Good lord when those two start swinging their hair like Sweet Valley High rejects I secretly hope they lasso each other and end up in a spinning tornado floating off into space. I'm not sure why the powers that be at Bravo haven't made this happen. The ratings would be huge.
Sharlinda looks completely spent; however, Kahdijiha seems to be perfectly fine. Her emotions are 100% in check. Sharlinda begs for a reaction from Kahdijiha, saying, "Stop sitting there and being all hardcore!" Kahdijiha explains her state of mind. "Ashlee Wilson-Hawn is not one to fight fair," she says. "I will never let anything this girl can conjure up mess up what you and I have going on, and that's why I don't feel sad." Kahdijiha adds that she's only angry and focused on repairing her family's image.
Meanwhile, Virginia Kolb runs into Katie Davidson at the country club. Poor Virginia. Katie fake apologizes for Donald Mitchell's drunken antics at her Harvest Party. On her couch, Virginia admits that she actually likes Katie and hopes to clear the air. Harvin Eadon points out, "If Katie were a good friend, she'd keep her little pet Donald in check." Yes! Exactly!