Last nightJoanna Krupa made it down the aisle on Real Housewives of Miami, but not without some serious hijinks! Like oversleeping, missing her flight, and ending up on a cheeseball pseudo-dramatic roadtrip to San Diego with Lea Black driving like a bitch out of hell.
After the epic bachelorette party, Joanna leaps out of bed in full makeup only to learn that she's tragically late. She rouses the other girls, whose lack of artifice make me think that perhaps they really did over-sleep. Lisa Hochstein and Joanna have forgiven each other for their drunken whore-gument the night before. Lisa is passed out on the floor or something and has no recollection of storming off the party bus after humping the open bar. Which is for the best.
Everyone scrambles to get ready, choose the perfect accessories and 6" heels for travel, while Lea actually arranges said travel. They end up renting an SUV, getting stranded in the dessert when Fembot needs to stop to vomit up nuts, bolts, and silicone and Adriana de Moura attempts to pee against the wind in a flowy maxi dress and some serious stripper heels. Again, who wears that on a ROAD TRIP. It's called JEANS. Well at least everyone is having fun, not taking things too seriously, and joking about the drunken antics.
Since Joanna is trying to be nice she invited the entire RHOM crew, including Adriana de Moura. There were strict instructions that Adriana had to be on sedatives. Adriana's half-hearted apology to Lea Black didn't really patch things up, so they too still have an awkward tension.
Lisa is thrilled to be getting away form Lenny 'cause they're having issues and she needs to let loose and get drunk. Fembot's adventures in Vegas are a recipe for disaster! First of all, Joanna makes all the ladies fly coach, which is hilarious. Lea is scrambling to stuff one of her 6000 purses in the carry-on hold and seems on the brink of meltdown. I swear Lisa probably almost missed the flight sprinting through the airport looking for an ATM when she realized you had to pay for booze in coach!
Sometimes the Real Housewives of Miami castmates seem friendly-ish, as in the get along to get along and sometimes Alexia seems to positively despise Lea and feel forced to maintain a public friendship for the sake of convenience. Yet she still refers to her as a 'friend'.
"Aren't you happy that we all finally seem to be getting along and moving forward? I sure am! I've tried not to get involved and respect all the ladies feelings and opinions in regards to their personal situations and friendships," Alexiabegins in her Bravo blog.
Apparently Alexia understands why everyone is still annoyed with Lisa Hochstein, however, despite that they're all friends now, or something.
Lisa begins, "I love you Lisa, but a premiere of my handbag line at a couture boutique really isn't the place to re-hash the 'Adriana saga'. I'm starting to feel like the Adriana issue is being shoved down my throat every single time I am around some of the girls. I can't even go to a business engagement without it becoming the topic of conversation. I'm starting to feel like I'm being "water-boarded" to overlook who I have realized she is and who she is not — just so everyone can have a cocktail together!"
Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Miami was brought to us by Lea Black's boobs. Was it me or were they borderline popping out in every scene? Did she pay a visit to Dr. Boob God recently?
Other than that, Joanna Krupa had a meltdown and threw a soap opera bitchfit which included kicking Lisa Hochstein out of her wedding party. And Lisa cried and whined and meddled and stirred the pot. Really, Lisa needs a hobby. Maybe crochet?
Lea is creating The World of Lea Black which includes patenting that laugh and every time you open a Lea Black box it bursts out. She's creating handbags and writing books and skin care crap. I really don't know, but I guess it's a full-fledged industry in fabulosity. More power to her because at least she was doing this pre-Housewives so it's not just some schleppy storyline to give her a purpose on the show. Apparently it's a "movement".
Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Miami was all about family matters – and twisty, curvy, convoluted family dynamics!
It turns out Romain Zago has more than a childhood shrouded in negligent parenting as neither of his parents could give a fig about attending his wedding to Joanna Krupa. Scared of Joanna? Even worse – Romain's brother, the supposed best man, is iffy about whether or not he'll attend. Maybe they can do Skype nuptials? Joanna feels that's what they get for waiting six years to set a date. Nevertheless it made her really appreciate her family (maybe she'll stop ball-busting Marta. I mean she's finally stopped ball-busting Romain!).
It also makes Joanna understand that she truly is the only family Romain has. Better get to reproducing – or she's probably saving that for next year's storyline (if they get renewed, that is)! To celebrate their love, Romain is surprising Joanna with a romantic evening. First he rips up the prenup they were planning to sign (love, Housewives style!) then he rents a yacht and has a puppy waiting on board. Joanna is in heaven. I'm just happy Joanna found someone willing to put up with her. Better Romain than Marta – or me!
Our favorite reality TV stars can't get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here's a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Above: Snooki & JWoww star Snookitweeted, "Shout out to our 'Snooki & JWoww are such trash' haters."