That’s why I was so happy when she stopped by the Bravo club house to talk Southern Charm with Andy Cohen and throw shade at just about everyone from the cast. I don’t agree with everything she said, but I love her for sharing her truth while she was wearing a caftan with photos of her dog on it. There’s no way that I couldn’t appreciate a person rocking that outfit.
Is it just me, or is this season of Southern Charm getting off to a slow start? I guess we do things at a more leisurely pace down here. Last night’s episode cut out one corner of the Chelsea/Austen Kroll/Shep Rose triangle while educating us on the importance of bro code. Additionally, Thomas Ravenel hosted the crew on Edisto Island. At T-Rav’s plantation, Landon Clements is playing house while she preps for the polo match. She is channeling her inner Goop which brings a sparkle to Thomas’ eye. His last lady didn’t know her way around a kitchen, so Landon is a welcome change. As the pretend power couple awaits its guests, both are equally impressed with the other. Thomas has a plantation and Landon is a refined hostess with the most. My dog’s water bowl has more depth. I sincerely hope these two actually end up together. They deserve each other.
Austen has Chelsea programmed in his phone as “Dream Girl” which makes him even cheesier than I’d already assumed. Bless his heart. However, Chelsea seems excited about the pair’s first date, and they are two of the least annoying of the crew. Yes, I realize they have only been in my face for three episodes, so I’ll reserve my final judgment. On their way to Edisto, Austen questions Chelsea’s relationship status with Shep. She reveals that they are both from Hilton Head and may have engaged in a recent make-out sesh with Shep. Tonsil hockey aside, she still thinks Shep is an idiot. Shep 2.0 is happy to hear this news, despite the irony.
After such an epic saga of drama between Thomas Ravenel and Kathryn Dennis, it’s easy to forget that she also got with Shep Rose during the first season of Southern Charm. One person who didn’t forget was Shep himself who remembers that era pretty fondly and has no issue discussing it. Not that Shep really has an issue discussing anything. The man is an open book. He was really made for reality TV.
Shep discussed his upcoming love triangle with new cast members Austen Kroll and Chelsea Meissner– which I cannot wait for since Austen is the only formidable opponent that Shep has faced when it comes to wooing the ladies. He attempted to explain the odd dynamic between him and Craig Conover. And he even reminded us all that there was a person named Jenna in Season 1 of the show.
After roaming around the peninsula on the previous episode of Southern Charm, the crew was up to new antic’s on last night’s installment, and it included a cameo by Billy Ray Cyrus. Could this show GET any better (typed in my best Chandler Bing font). After the requisite morning montage, Thomas Ravenel dons his Joker glasses to get down to business as Cameran Eubanks and her pal ChelseaMeissner are working out with a trainer after a boozy night. Cameran needs to counteract her gas station diet, and Chelsea dishes on her slumber party with Shepard “Shep” Rose. Spoiler alert, there was no nudity. Cameran is excited her pal may be on the Soulmate Express with the fratastic bachelor, and she encourages Chelsea to keep playing hard to get (ie, no pants dropping) to pique Shep’s interest. He’s used to girls to giving up the goods and is need of a challenge.
Craig Conover meets Landon Clements at Tavern and Table to sympathize over adulting difficulties when there are happy hours to be had. The two giggle over the pronunciation of charcuterie, making a profession out of philanthropy, and hobnobbing with the richest of the rich. Craig is working on an event for his girlfriend Naomie Olindo’s friend’s charity. It’s focus is disaster relief for orphans in Haiti, and Craig has been tasked with ordering the step and release, um, repeat. Landon and Craig bond over how hard they work and how sucky it is when their friends claim they aren’t working hard enough. Please! These tapas aren’t going to eat themselves. Someone has to do it! You can’t spell fundraiser without FUN after all.
Are y’all clutching your pearls yet? We’re the second week into this season of Southern Charm, and it doesn’t seem like much has changed. Cameran Eubanks is still playing the role of narrator and wrangling man children in the form of Craig Conover, Shepard “Shep” Rose, and Shep’s latest protege Austen Kroll. Landon Clements continues to undercut Kathryn Dennis through her giggles while her “is-he-or-isn’t he” Thomas Ravenel surrounds himself with young twenty-something arm candy. Speaking of Kathryn, she’s back with a vengeance and ready to provide hair strands and blood samples and whatever else she needs in order to see her children. Forget the hot mess express, these folks are a convoy of crazy! Let’s dive on in, shall we?
As always, the episode starts with the group in various stages of morning mayhem, whether it’s working or snoozing. Whitney Sudler-Smith visits the Hugh Hefner of CharlestonT-Rav, who has been recovering from the big pool party. He’s not ready to get back into the dating scene for fear a fiery siren will come in to rip off the head of some poor college junior. Whitney is enjoying this mellower version of his friend, and he’s ready to rejoin him on the Upper King singles’ scene after breaking off his long term, long distance relationship with that young blonde girl. Thomas is thrilled to have a wing man, and he makes Whitney promise to prowl the bars each night with one goal: close on site. Wait what? Oh, do it in the bathroom! Makes sense. I’ll be re-upping on the hand sanitizer before I head out again on a Friday night.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled parade of selfies and self-promotion for some Million Dollar Listing: Los Angeles baby news.
Josh Altman shared the pic above on Instagram, adding, “The greatest day of my life. April 3rd at 4:55pm Heather and I welcomed our amazing baby girl Alexis Kerry Altman into the world. Weighing 7lbs and 20 inches long, this angel is absolutely perfect. To experience the birth of your child is such a mind blowing event that is greater than anything I can describe. I’m so happy and so proud of my wife for handling this like a champ. Life has definitely changed in an instant, and gazing into my baby girl’s eyes, I can tell you it got much better.”
Yes, yes, yes! It’s been a long time coming, but last night was the first installment of the fourth season of Southern Charm. Was it as good for y’all as it was for me? Can we please talk about the opening scene? Thomas Ravenel drops by Landon Clements’ house with a flower for his flower, but she giggles that for the record, orchids are her favorite. As they sit by Colonial Lake, he implores her to give their relationship a shot. In true Southern Charm fashion, the premiere then flashes back to three months prior. Cameran Eubanks is on her way to see Craig Conover who has been dodging her phone calls after revealing he never finished law school. Shep Rose rings her while on a frantic search for his credit card. He’s trying to hit up all the bars he went to over the weekend, although he can’t quite remember where he was drinking. Upon arriving to Craig and Naomie’s house, Cameran learns that Craig has become the preppy Bob Villa in order to fill his time while Naomie pursues her MBA in finance.
T-Rav is adjusting to life as a full time father now that he has his children full time. Kensie and Saint are living in the guest house (with the nanny, I assume) because, as Thomas opines, kids are messy. He’d rather have them puke on a $200 guest house rug than a $30,000 main house rug. He reveals that Kathryn Dennis hasn’t seen the kids in a couple of months and won’t until she’s able to pass a drug test. Despite the fact his kids don’t live in the same structure as him, Thomas is hands on dad and it’s truly precious to see him playing with Kensie and Saint.
“I hear the train a comin’, it’s rollin’ round the bend…” and it is called the HOT MESS EXPRESS! That’s right folks, your favorite trust funders and Peter Pans are returning for a new season of Southern Charm, and legal eagle Craig Conover is dishing all about his co-stars and their journey to Bravo-lebrity status.
One of the most endearing things about Craig (in my opinion) is that he is very loyal…and he can’t keep his mouth shut. Whether he’s defending Kathryn Dennis’ honor, competing with Shep Rose, or lunching with Cameran Eubanks, chances are he’s going to say something that could potentially get him in hot water with his friends. I’ll be interested to see if any of them have opinions on Craig’s recent comments. Oh, and side note, our little Craig is growing up so quickly. He’s finally (FINALLY!) taken the bar exam!