The reunion venues for the Shahs of Sunset are getting bigger and so are the accusations. We barely make it through Andy Cohen greeting everyone before the gloves come off, or as Asa Soltan Rahmati observes, the Uzis come out. Asa was of course, a big, pregnant target this season and even in the glow of new motherhood, her cast mates aren’t about to let her off the hook. Even Vida, who usually likes to reserve her most blistering commentary for her own daughter, comes for Asa and trust me when I say her Uzi was fully loaded for that exchange.
Before we go there, I feel like I’m sitting down with a totally different cast than what I saw this season – long gone are any blonde highlights from Mercedes “MJ” Javid and Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi. Instead, their hair is dyed as black as their little hearts. Another thing that’s gone is Reza Farahan’s mustache, along with 43 pounds, to be exact. Mike Shouhed and Shervin Roohparvar are bringing the 90s back, with Mike’s emo eyeliner and Shervin’s slicked back little ponytail with the sides shaved.
I think we all saw it coming when bestie/worstie of friends Reza Farahan didn’t exactly jump to Asa’s defense during her falling out with Mercedes “MJ” Javid over whether or not Asa used IVF to conceive her “miracle baby.” But let’s face it, MJ wasn’t really mad about Asa using IVF or not, she was really just pissed that Asa beat her to the punch when it came to having a kid. So MJ just found the weakest link in the Asa Chain (the fact that Asa isn’t forthcoming with all aspects of her life) and exploited it with the rest of the Shahs to get them on board with casting Asa aside. And it actually worked!
For Shervin’s part, he might be able to see the writing on the wall that alpha crew member Reza Farahan is willing to turn his back on his oldest and closest friend, all because she doesn’t want to tell a bunch of fake friends who call her baby a bastard how she conceived. But most likely, Shervin realizes that someone somewhere has some dirt on him and his cheating ways and it’s easier to fess up now instead of spending multiple seasons being accused, like Mike Shouhed. As for MJ, I’m pretty sure tequila (and a slow decent to complete madness) is what caused her to go off the rails and issue a pregnancy ultimatum to fiancé, Tommy Feight. Spoiler alert: when you issue a man an ultimatum of any form, especially one driven by alcohol and overdramatic, nonsensical tears, it usually doesn’t end well.
I have to admit, when I saw that tonight’s episode of Shahs of Sunset was titled “A Tale of Two Turkeys” I was worried we would spend the episode rehashing the two different versions of events that Mike Shouhed and Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi presented from their fateful cast trip to Turkey a few years ago. I guess I have spent too long following the Shahs but either way, I was relieve to find out that the turkey the title is referring to is just good old fashioned Turkey Day because it’s Thanksgiving on the Sunset. Time to give thanks, right? If by “thanks” I mean gossip, backstabbing and meddling in each other’s business! God, I love the holidays.
We open with Mike and buddy once more Reza Farahan walking their dogs and talking crudely about Mike’s dating life. Who really belongs on the leash here? Anyway, Reza thinks that it’s time that Mike gets back into the dating game and while Mike assures everyone that it’s not for lack of options, he feels like when you have been cheating with someone for 5 years, it’s hard to get back into dating mode. Plus, he’s not technically divorced yet, although that didn’t seem to stop him from dating when he was actually married. Reza is shocked to hear this news, especially since he took the liberty of circling the divorce finalization date in a red sharpie marker on his calendar, signaling that it’s FINAL. I guess because if Reza uses a red sharpie, then all of the mediation, negotiation and litigation that it takes to finalize a divorce gets trumped by a red marker? I can’t understand why Reza is so shocked to hear this but since he has to turn everything into an ulterior motive, he asks Mike if he’s dragging his feet on the divorce because he’s still emotionally invested. Mike maintains that he’s just not ready and who knows, he probably has a full plate with all the baby shoes he selling (or something).
No pregnancy has caused as much of a stir as Asa Soltan Rahmati’s on this season of Shahs of Sunset. From Mercedes “MJ” Javid taking Asa’s pregnancy announcement as a “sign” that she herself should get pregnant to the entire cast questioning the conception of her then unborn baby, Asa’s pregnancy has provided more story lines than she ever has this whole time.
Obviously, this doesn’t sit well with the self-proclaimed Persian Pop Priestess, and she had some choice words for MJ when she and Destiney Rose were guests on Watch What Happens Live.
Now that we have gotten the whole cast trip/everyone has come together in a moment of bonding out of the way, it’s time for the Shahs of Sunset to tear it all down! If I had to sum up our band of merry Shahs in one word tonight, it would be cheaters truth warriors. OK, well that’s two words but you get the idea – this gang just cannot stop until the truth,or whatever they happen to think is the truth, comes out. The focus of the truth warriors’ quest for answers is resident fly-under-the-radar-good-guy-to-the-point-of-boredom, Shervin Roohparvar, who is being accused of sleeping around with (GASP!) another Bravolebrity. And if you thought that his friends were going to let him get away with it, your guess is colder than one of Asa Soltan Rahmati’s frozen embryos. What about confronting him with this information in a really inappropriate time and place? Warmer. Then saying you will keep his secret? Warmer. Then inviting his supposed mistress to a party he will be at and confronting him with what he told you in confidence in front of all of his friends while demanding he admit it to everyone? Burning up! Can you guys handle the truth? Read on….
As the Shahs of Sunset continue their politically incorrect spiritual tour of Israel, tonight’s episode is all about opening up and being honest within their friendships and lives. That’s a pretty tall order, especially for Asa “Did You Know I’m Having a Baby” Soltan Rahmati, who has been dodging questions about her personal life faster than you can say miracle baby. None of this is sitting well with Mercedes “MJ” Javid, who desperately wants to make a baby of her own and thinks the more she tells people, the more likely it is to happen. Everyone click yourselves into your overpriced strollers and hang on, because tonight is going to be a bumpy ride.
We rejoin the Shahs at the Western Wall, where they are all praying for what they want, except Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi, who sits there fuming about being out of her element. Dressed in camo pants and an angry look on her face, she minds her own business but claims that an Israeli man harassed her by saying “jihad” to her. I guess the multiple camera pointed at her didn’t catch that part but of course, GG wouldn’t make something up now would she? *Pausing as I list in my head all the things GG has made up over the course of the show*
Last week on Shahs of Sunset, the Israeli experience was all about getting drunk and partying. This week? It’s time for the Shahs to get spiritual. And by spiritual, I mean fight nonstop with each other about religion. How enlightening!
It’s 9 AM – do you know where your MJ is? It’s no surprise that after a night of heavy drinking and trashing her hotel room, Mercedes “MJ” Javid and her dirty feet still aren’t up for the morning. The rest of the gang is getting ready and eating breakfast but no MJ to be found. Worried that maybe she has suffocated under her own boobs, Reza Farahan FaceTimes her and immediately wishes he hadn’t. MJ likes to claim she’s always fresh as a daisy after a night of drinking but time (and alcohol) has not been kind to her. She’s looking more weed wacked than freshly bloomed.