In today’s installment of ’50 Ways To Go Insane’, listening to Farrah Abraham‘s voice for an hour is at the tippity-top of my list. Luckily for all of you lovely people, I took one for the team and listened to Farrah’s interview with the ‘Allegedly‘ podcast and I wrote down all the juicy bits. So while I’m icing my brain in a vat of vodka, all of you, please – read-on. Really – you owe it to me…
Farrah discussed everything from love, motherhood, God, politics, her success, and what’s next in her oh-so busy life.
“I’m not a thirsty bitch! I have plenty of H20,” declares Farrah. “I know how to give passion more unto the universe and I think it lacks it so much that I wouldn’t be happy if I didn’t improve where I was. That’s the kinda soul that I got.”
After Dr. Drew revealed FarrahAbraham is so crazy he [jokingly] wants to strangle her, she is responding by acting crazy. Obviously! Completely misconstruing Dr. Drew’s comments as both negative and sexual, Farrah is firing back by attacking his ethics and mental stability, and accusing him of violence. Reading comprehension and listening skills are your friend, Madame!
“OK, Dr. Drew, it sounds like you want to strangle me and f**k me,” Farrah accused. “Gross!” Farrah also wonders, caustically, how Dr. Drew’s marriage is doing? (In said interview, Dr. Drew actually scoffed at the idea that he had ever felt anything other than “paternal” towards the 16 And Pregnant and Teen Mom stars, but not-a-porn-star Farrah seems to think everyone is desperate to get in her moulded cooch).
It’s hard for me to take Dr. Drew seriously after watching him placate the many delusional wonders of the Teen Mom franchise. Despite that he ever-so-rarely calls Original Crazy Farrah Abraham out on her nonsense, or questions her behavior, Dr. Drew is finally admitting that Farrah irritates the hell out of him. Finally something we have in common!
Over the many years, Dr. Drew has been barely dealing with the many issues of Farrah, all under the pretense of being a psychiatrist, he explains that she’s “not awful,” but the many-layered reality star is awfully “frustrating.” He also pretty much calls her crazy.
Dr. Drew cuts right to the chase and asks for the status on Kail and Javi’s marriage. Supposedly Kail doesn’t know yet because it’s hard to make big life decisions while he’s gone. We all know she’s made up her mind, so maybe the life decisions she’s unsure of aren’t related to staying in the marriage, but rather what kind of visitation schedule Javi should have for Lincoln or how much child support she should demand. For now, she’s just focusing on her career. Dr. Drew high fives her for being the only one of all the teen moms to graduate from a 4-year university, which makes Kail tear up.
Last night was the first Teen Mom 2 reunion episode of the season and featured Jenelle Evans and Leah Messer, the moms who need the most help. Too bad the doctor in the house – Dr. Drew Pinsky – didn’t offer them any guidance. Rather, he avoided any deep discussion with them and tried to convince everyone that David Eason has been a stabilizing force. Hang up the white coat, Dr. Drew, you’re done.
The reunion starts with all the girls on the couch watching highlights from the season. Dr. Drew asks what jumped out for them watching the recap. For Leah, it was hard to see Ali getting worse throughout the season. Kailyn Lowry says there hasn’t been an easy moment for her the entire season. Jenelle gives the non-answer that they can all learn from each other, which prompts Dr. Drew to bring up social media drama between Kail and Jenelle, who are now pretending to be in a better place (they’re also on opposite ends of the couch). Chelsea Houska, who also had her own issues with Jenelle, tries to avoid more Jenelle rage and simply says all the girls follow each other on Instagram and Twitter. Leah attempts to cut the tension by sharing how nice it is to have the other girls to talk to. Chelsea adds that if she needed something, she could talk to these girls. I just imagine the producers giving them a pep talk before going onstage: “Ok, girls, let’s all pretend we’re best friends and the greatest support for teen moms in their twenties is other teen moms in their twenties.”
Always one to jump aboard the USS Celebrity Trainwreck, Dr. Drew commented on Kim’s latest shenanigan and described it as a desperate cry for help from the former Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills star. Luckily for Kim, Kathy tweeted in defense (does that hold up in a court of law) of her sister.
I was still puzzling over who ponied up Kim’s $5,000 bail – especially since she was said to be living inside the palatial walls of her luxury SUV – but I guess I have my answer, everyone’s favorite magician: Kathy!
Stop the bus! We’ve got a lot of Stevie J. news to share. Before I start, I certainly hope that Mona Scott Young has Dr. Drew on speed dial so she can cash in on her Love & Hip Hop Atlanta star’s latest dramz! Celebrity Rehab plus LHH:ATL definitely equals a reality train wreck we’d all tune in to watch. And I’m worried about the future of humanity! 😉
We all know that ol’ Stevie has been battling the feds over a minor child support snafu. Please note that “minor” was supposed to be typed in my special “sarcasm” font. The reality star reportedly owes back support to one the mothers of his children to the tune of over $1 million after neglecting to pay since 2001. His hearing is scheduled for January 9th, but apparently Stevie is hoping to strike a deal. Here’s hoping it happens before he heads to rehab. Yes, you read that correctly!
Last night was the second part of the Teen Mom 2reunion and MTV obviously wanted to save the best – best drama, that is – for last! Chelsea Houska and Jenelle Evans were on the hotseat. While Chelsea was applauded for turning her life around and finally getting over Adam Lind (we hope!), Jenelle continued to try and make us believe she had changed too. Yeah, we don't believe you. Actions speak louder than words. And so do boyfriend choices.
Dr. Drew tackles Chelsea first. Chelsea seems really uneasy and upset about something – probably being in close proximity with Adam. Or maybe her eyelashes were puncturing her brain they were so long and spiky. Isn't she a professional?
Dr. Drew talks about her current situation with Adam. Chelsea regrets that he is not the best dad he can be for Aubree. She has no relationship with Taylor because Adam was cheating on Taylor with Chelsea. And by cheating, she means booty calls! CHELSEA! Chelsea says it was "months" ago – but it was while Taylor was pregnant!