Stop the bus! We’ve got a lot of Stevie J. news to share. Before I start, I certainly hope that Mona Scott Young has Dr. Drew on speed dial so she can cash in on her Love & Hip Hop Atlanta star’s latest dramz! Celebrity Rehab plus LHH:ATL definitely equals a reality train wreck we’d all tune in to watch. And I’m worried about the future of humanity!
We all know that ol’ Stevie has been battling the feds over a minor child support snafu. Please note that “minor” was supposed to be typed in my special “sarcasm” font. The reality star reportedly owes back support to one the mothers of his children to the tune of over $1 million after neglecting to pay since 2001. His hearing is scheduled for January 9th, but apparently Stevie is hoping to strike a deal. Here’s hoping it happens before he heads to rehab. Yes, you read that correctly!
Last night was the second part of the Teen Mom 2reunion and MTV obviously wanted to save the best – best drama, that is – for last! Chelsea Houska and Jenelle Evans were on the hotseat. While Chelsea was applauded for turning her life around and finally getting over Adam Lind (we hope!), Jenelle continued to try and make us believe she had changed too. Yeah, we don't believe you. Actions speak louder than words. And so do boyfriend choices.
Dr. Drew tackles Chelsea first. Chelsea seems really uneasy and upset about something – probably being in close proximity with Adam. Or maybe her eyelashes were puncturing her brain they were so long and spiky. Isn't she a professional?
Dr. Drew talks about her current situation with Adam. Chelsea regrets that he is not the best dad he can be for Aubree. She has no relationship with Taylor because Adam was cheating on Taylor with Chelsea. And by cheating, she means booty calls! CHELSEA! Chelsea says it was "months" ago – but it was while Taylor was pregnant!
It's Dr. Drewtime… I hope you stretched your eyeballs because they're about to be doing a lot of rolling. And if you're wearing false eyelashes because you want to look just like your favorite Teen Mom 2 star, I suggest you take them off for fear of injury during this reunion.
The set this year is really something – don't you love the giant TM2 letters with glittering lights. Things begin with all four girls on stage. Jenelle Evans has been taking hair tips from Chelsea Houska (but Megan is her terrible hairsome clone!) – same color red, same teased style, other than that she looks very pretty and natural. Dr. Drew asks Jenelle how Jace is. She answers, "Ummmm… who? Oh yeah… ummm… oh he hasn't been paying rent so yeah!"
Chelsea's eyelashes are a travesty. Mind you, this is her profession… Lord help South Dakota.
Teen Mom 2 has come to an end, and while we don't know if it's forever or just for now, it's time for the cast to talk about their troubles with Dr. Drew Pinsky.
This is Teen Mom, where "promising futures gave way to daily struggles, such as poverty, addiction, family breakdowns, absentee fathers, and revolving door boyfriends," says Dr. Drew. "The pressures and responsibilities of motherhood can be catastrophic." Then, to prove his point, the TV doctor welcomes Leah Messer Simms Calvert, Chelsea Houska, Kailyn Lowry, and Jenelle Evans to the stage and reminds us what happened this season.
Leah flip flopped between Corey Simms and Jeremy Calvert, but her Magic 8 ball ultimately told her to marry Jeremy. Also, Corey and Leah searched for answers for little Ali. Chelsea and Adam Lind hooked up sans birth control but avoided a second pregnancy. Then, hell froze over, and Chelsea realized that Adam is no good for her. #hallelujah
Kail fought with Jo Rivera. Kail fought with Javi Marroquin. Kail fought with anyone with a pulse. Kail and Javi got married… military benefits, yo!… Jenelle left her military man, Gary Head, after he beat her up and reunited with her pot head, Kieffer Delp, after he wooed her with the green hoodie. Sadly, Kieffer introduced Jenelle to heroin.
Sex tapes… drug busts… what would MTV's resident therapist say?
Well, when that "therapist" is Dr. Drew Pinsky, not a whole lot. Dr. Drew's reaction to the deplorable choices made by Farrah Abraham and Jenelle Evans as of late comes across as less "Woah! Let's get these girls some help!" and more "Woe is me! Nobody listens to me!"
“If she would have called me for advice, I would have told her not to do this," Dr. Drew said about Farrah's sex tape. “But she is not my patient, she is not my kid."
It's court day for Jenelle and Gary Head (or, as we like to call it, Tuesday), but she has high hopes for the day. Gary admitted to getting physical with Jenelle, so her lawyer, Dustin Sullivan, will charge Gary with assault and request for Jenelle's charges to be dropped. Kieffer Delp nonchalantly asks Jenelle if there's any chance she'll go to jail. It's all good, Jenelle says, because she totally stopped getting high two weeks ago. Kieffer is nervous. Not because he cares about Jenelle, mind you, but because he needs a place to make his pot pipes.
One hour later, Dustin congratulates Jenelle on another good day in court, revealing that all charges against her have been dropped. Seriously?! Jenelle has more lives than the entire cast of CATS. One thing is for sure, if I ever get in trouble with the law, I'm calling Dustin the Judge Whisperer.
Oh girls of Teen Mom 2, what are we going to do with you? Last night,Leah Messer Sims Calvert walked down the aisle for a second time in her short life, and Jenelle Evans caused a scene at Jace's third birthday party. Anyone want to chip in for a Mom-of-theYear trophy with me? Chelsea Houska celebrated her twenty-first birthday, and Kailyn Lowry got engaged to Javi and Jo let out a sigh of relief that she was now someone else's problem. Good times, right?
The episode starts with Leah cooking breakfast with her dad, and we learn that she hasn't seen him since she was thirteen. She tells him what a great provider Jeremy is, and he's happy to be back in his daughter's life. I wish he'd turn his NASCAR ballcap around so I could see who his favorite driver is. #rubbinisracin'
Chelsea is moving yet again (what is this…like the fourth time this season alone?), and she takes Aubree to her mom's after daycare. She's planning for her twenty-first birthday, and her mom offers to watch Aubree so she can celebrate. Aubree's birthday is not long after Chelsea's, and Chelsea's mom asks if A-D-A-M will be attending her party. Chelsea turns on the whine and says she doesn't want to talk about him under any circumstances. Her mom praises her maturity.
Back with Kieffer, Jenelle is stressed out because her roommate is moving out, and she's short on cash from her boyfriend's mooching ways because her Internet job isn't paying as much as she'd hoped. She heads to her mom's house to discuss Jace's upcoming third birthday. Wait, my bad…she really just wants to complain to Barbara about her roommate and collect her mail. She reveals to her mom that she's dropped out of school due to the stress from her legal troubles with Gary and her boob job…both good reasons. Jenelle can barely keep her eyes open as she tells her mom that Kieffer is moving in with her. Barbara tells her daughter that she's planned Jace's party for the following day at a local tumbling Jim. Jenelle is upset that she didn't get more time to invite her friends, but she warns her mom she will be bringing Kieffer.
It was another big night on the longest running season of Teen Mom 2 EVER. Kailyn Lowry contemplated marriage, while Leah Messer Sims Calvert considered letting her biological dad be a part of wedding number two. Jenelle Evans had a hearing for her domestic abuse charges, and Chelsea Houska (surprise, surprise) dropped out of school took a leave of absence from beauty school.
Kailyn and Javi decided not to get married in Las Vegas. Instead, they plan to wait until after he's been accepted into the Air Force. She calls to wish him luck on his entrance exam, and he immediately calls back to tell her that he's passed. Kailyn offers to take him to a nice dinner to celebrate.
Jenelle and Kieffer are back nesting, but she's worried about the assault charges which have been pressed against both of them. She meets her friend for lunch and explains the situation. She's done with Gary…he even took her engagement ring off her finger before the cops arrested them. Jenelle is happy to have moved on with a more stable Kieffer. What? More stable than he was three episodes ago? Get it together, Jenelle!
Chelsea is missing classes because she has mono, but she's hanging out with a friend who has two children…one is Aubree's age. They discuss what is going on with Adam and custody, and Chelsea is getting less whiny with each passing week. Plus, her hair looks so much better dark–it seems she's finally getting herself together!