Tonight is part two of the Teen Mom 2 finale special and since we didn’t get to see Briana DeJesusat all in the first one, the producers make up for it this time around. As Dr. Drew points out, in the last four years since MTV viewers saw Briana, a lot has changed and a lot is still the same. As in, Briana dealt with another pregnancy and another baby daddy to battle with. Briana starts with a heavy sigh and says she needs a vacation. Dr. Drew is quick to remind her that you don’t get one with kids and then moves on to asking how her castmates are treating her. Briana purses her lips, clearly acknowledging an issue exists but hesitant to call someone out. Finally, she tells us how her and her family’s close relationship with Javi Marroquin has made Kailyn Lowry feel some kind of way. Because of this, the rest of the moms have followed suit and haven’t exactly been welcoming.
Briana updates us on baby Stella, who is doing better health wise but has only seen her dad, Luis, two more times and she’s four months now. To his credit, Briana says that he’s out of trucking school, working and paying for Stella’s daycare so while he isn’t exactly involved on an emotional level, he’s at least doing something.
It’s reunion time for the cast of Teen Mom 2 and part one is going to ease us into everything without too much craziness. Well, unless you count Jenelle Evans and new husband, David Eason, who just can’t help themselves. But before we go there, the whole cast is on the couch, with a giant macramé pacifier sitting behind them, just in case you didn’t catch that the show has “mom” in the title. All the ladies look fresh and lovely, but Jenelle already has a sourpuss face, magnified by her hair darkened and pulled back in a severe ponytail. I guess I can’t blame Jenelle; it’s going to be a long day for her. Dr. Drew plugs the finale of Teen Mum, which is the UK version of Teen Mom and if you’re not watching, you definitely should. Those Brits have nonstop baby daddy drama and I couldn’t help but get sucked into the whole season. But I digress….
If you happened to catch last week’s part one of the Teen Mom 2 reunion, along with the backstage footage, you would know there was major drama with who else? Jenelle Evansand anyone associated with her. Because of mom Barbara Evans and their never ending custody dispute of Jace, Jenelle stormed off set and threatened to book the next flight home. But here we are, on set with Jenelle and her whole crew of drama seekers and hangers on, to hear more about what it’s like to live a life of complete chaos.
Dr. Drew gives Jenelle the shadiest intro possible, talking her up as “sober, in a stable relationship and pregnant with her third child” as if those are all major achievements in life.
In today’s installment of ’50 Ways To Go Insane’, listening to Farrah Abraham‘s voice for an hour is at the tippity-top of my list. Luckily for all of you lovely people, I took one for the team and listened to Farrah’s interview with the ‘Allegedly‘ podcast and I wrote down all the juicy bits. So while I’m icing my brain in a vat of vodka, all of you, please – read-on. Really – you owe it to me…
Farrah discussed everything from love, motherhood, God, politics, her success, and what’s next in her oh-so busy life.
“I’m not a thirsty bitch! I have plenty of H20,” declares Farrah. “I know how to give passion more unto the universe and I think it lacks it so much that I wouldn’t be happy if I didn’t improve where I was. That’s the kinda soul that I got.”
After Dr. Drew revealed FarrahAbraham is so crazy he [jokingly] wants to strangle her, she is responding by acting crazy. Obviously! Completely misconstruing Dr. Drew’s comments as both negative and sexual, Farrah is firing back by attacking his ethics and mental stability, and accusing him of violence. Reading comprehension and listening skills are your friend, Madame!
“OK, Dr. Drew, it sounds like you want to strangle me and f**k me,” Farrah accused. “Gross!” Farrah also wonders, caustically, how Dr. Drew’s marriage is doing? (In said interview, Dr. Drew actually scoffed at the idea that he had ever felt anything other than “paternal” towards the 16 And Pregnant and Teen Mom stars, but not-a-porn-star Farrah seems to think everyone is desperate to get in her moulded cooch).
It’s hard for me to take Dr. Drew seriously after watching him placate the many delusional wonders of the Teen Mom franchise. Despite that he ever-so-rarely calls Original Crazy Farrah Abraham out on her nonsense, or questions her behavior, Dr. Drew is finally admitting that Farrah irritates the hell out of him. Finally something we have in common!
Over the many years, Dr. Drew has been barely dealing with the many issues of Farrah, all under the pretense of being a psychiatrist, he explains that she’s “not awful,” but the many-layered reality star is awfully “frustrating.” He also pretty much calls her crazy.
Dr. Drew cuts right to the chase and asks for the status on Kail and Javi’s marriage. Supposedly Kail doesn’t know yet because it’s hard to make big life decisions while he’s gone. We all know she’s made up her mind, so maybe the life decisions she’s unsure of aren’t related to staying in the marriage, but rather what kind of visitation schedule Javi should have for Lincoln or how much child support she should demand. For now, she’s just focusing on her career. Dr. Drew high fives her for being the only one of all the teen moms to graduate from a 4-year university, which makes Kail tear up.
Last night was the first Teen Mom 2 reunion episode of the season and featured Jenelle Evans and Leah Messer, the moms who need the most help. Too bad the doctor in the house – Dr. Drew Pinsky – didn’t offer them any guidance. Rather, he avoided any deep discussion with them and tried to convince everyone that David Eason has been a stabilizing force. Hang up the white coat, Dr. Drew, you’re done.
The reunion starts with all the girls on the couch watching highlights from the season. Dr. Drew asks what jumped out for them watching the recap. For Leah, it was hard to see Ali getting worse throughout the season. Kailyn Lowry says there hasn’t been an easy moment for her the entire season. Jenelle gives the non-answer that they can all learn from each other, which prompts Dr. Drew to bring up social media drama between Kail and Jenelle, who are now pretending to be in a better place (they’re also on opposite ends of the couch). Chelsea Houska, who also had her own issues with Jenelle, tries to avoid more Jenelle rage and simply says all the girls follow each other on Instagram and Twitter. Leah attempts to cut the tension by sharing how nice it is to have the other girls to talk to. Chelsea adds that if she needed something, she could talk to these girls. I just imagine the producers giving them a pep talk before going onstage: “Ok, girls, let’s all pretend we’re best friends and the greatest support for teen moms in their twenties is other teen moms in their twenties.”