It seems everyone has survived their first night in Vermont. Bethenny Frankellocking Luann in the basement hasn’t actually killed the NEW BRIDE, so the ladies are free to indulge in avocado toast before hitting the slopes. While Ramona Singerbrings her sister-wife, Sonja Morgan, coffee in bed, Bethenny apologizes to Tinsley Mortimerfor being cold to her at dinner the previous night. She’s going through her own relationship hell, so she doesn’t need to be piling on anyone else about theirs. Tinsley feels slightly relieved that she’ll be attacked by one less Housewife on this trip, but she’s still generally overwhelmed (because that is her default setting).
Jason Hoppy has been the source of much speculation and – according to the Manhattan Supreme Court – continued stalking of ex-wife Real Housewives Of New York star Bethenny Frankel. Two new counts of stalking were added to the three Hoppy was already charged with back in January, after he allegedly told Bethenny, “I will destroy you, you can get all the lawyers you want, you’ve been warned,” at their 6-year old daughter Bryn’s school.
After months of deflection, derailment, and Tom D’Agostino’s devilish doings, Countess Luann de Lesseps finally married the man who offers her the lifestyle of her dreams. Yes, Mrs. Luann D’Agostino is now a commoner! Jet setting to Palm Beach, vacationing in Aspen, lolling around the balcony of her Manhattan penthouse wondering whether she should eat another peeled grape. In short, she’s just like us! If we were filthy rich and married to questionable dudes. But the ladies of The Real Housewives Of New York aren’t quite done questioning Luann’s every move, and they have another chance to openly gawk at her happiness when she invites them to a post-wedding celebration.
Speaking of parties, Bethenny Frankel hosts one of her own – but guess who’s not invited? Okay, we all know it’s Ramona Singer. Because homegirl went NUCLEAR last week in the Berkshires and is persona non grata to both Bethenny and Dorinda Medley now. Poor Dorinda is still resurrecting her house from the Ramonsoon that all but destroyed the joint, not to mention Sonja Morgan jacking her PJ’s in broad daylight! There’s also moving afoot. As in: Adam moving out of Carole Radziwill’slitterbox apartment, and Frenchie moving into Sonja’s townhouse. Tinsley Mortimer, as always, is left pondering the life choices that brought her to this tragic rung on the downwardly mobile socialite ladder.
I think I can speak for the better part of The Real Housewives of New York viewing audience when I kindly request that they make the Tom D’Agostino storyline just STOP already. (Please? We will do anything – we will watch Sonja Morgan go in for vaginal rejuvenation number two! We will welcome Jill Zarin back with open arms! We will watch that friggin election party again – okay, too far.) Because when it comes to this dusty old Tom story, I have to channel Ramona Singer here and ask, are you kidding me? Are you KIDDING me? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!
Alas, I regret to inform you that despite our better wishes, the ladies decide it’s still a wise idea to confront Luann de Lesseps about her upcoming nuptials to dear, openly-cheating Tomfor the seven hundredth time. In this week’s installment of Are You Sure You Want To Be A Bride, Luann?Ramona leads the charge, with Bethenny Frankel throwing some tears and bizarre begging in for good measure. Then, Ramona and Bethenny go at it head to head in what may be the final round of their friendship. This all occurs after Ramona nearly literally turns herself into the cartoon character version of her former, batsh*t self. So, strap in!
I never expected to see Alex McCord back on Bravo, but I was so there for her resurgence on Watch What Happens Live last week. I feel like absence made the heart grow fonder because I didn’t even realize I missed her.
Now everyone wants to know what Alex thinks of her former Real Housewives of New York costars now that she’s had some time away from the crew. After all, she and Simon van Kempen are still together after many seasons of criticism from the cast and viewers while Bethenny Frankel and Ramona Singer have gone through some pretty public divorces.
It’s Go Time! This week’s Real Housewives Of New York picks up right where we left off – in the Hamptons at Ramona Singer’s home, with Dorinda Medley poised to pounce on Sonja Morgan. And pounce, she does. She does NOT make it nice. No, no, no. And Ramona couldn’t be happier (or more Pinot’d up) that she gets to host the party that will launch a thousand storylines this season. Ramona isn’t so happy later on when Carole Radziwill un-invites her to her election party, though. This week also marks the emergence of Tinsley Mortimer out from under Sonja’s tattered wing when she sneaks out for dinner with Luann De Lesseps and Dorinda – but fails to invite her benefactress along! Oh, I could just pinch myself with delight at the Jane Austen-ness of the whole Tinsley/Sonja tableau! It’s just…delicious.
As Sonja and Tinsley stroll into the party, Tinsley is nervous to meet Dorinda. But there’s no need! Because after double kisses with Luann, Dorinda plays nice with Tinsley, trading small talk about how it’s going living at Sonja’s Socialite Rehabilitation Center. But Tinsley goes deep fast, revealing her messy past – then instantly regretting the word vomit. Dorinda’s like, Who cares? I see a limping gazelle strolling through the weeds… She’s got her sights set on Sonja, and only Sonja, tonight.
We open at Sonja’s house, where she’s dyeing her eyebrows and ordering interns to ferry her chocolate. Tinsley pops by to move the hell on in – complete with pillows! Once the “It Girl” girl of NYC, Tinsley fell hard when she splashed across the tabloids in stories revealing ongoing domestic disputes with her boyfriend, one of which resulted in her arrest. Tinsley, now less of an It Girl than a Who? Girl, is trying to rebuild her life. Mission one: find a different sort of guy to date. You know, one who you don’t need to call the police on weekly. Sonja is down for the cause.
I am ecstatic that Real Housewives of New York is back. Thankfully a new season means the cast members are doing lots of promotional interviews and sharing some interesting info, and we all know how much the RHONY ladies love to chat, especially Bethenny Frankel.
Bethenny has an opinion on pretty much everything and she always has a lot to say. And yes, this still includes discussing her divorce from Jason Hoppy.