So, Love & Hip Hop has its own resident Kim Zolciak. Last night’s episode was hair-raising for sure! I’m not sure which is worse…the cheating men or the women who put up with them! Um, is this Chrissy woman trying to be the next Rashadah Ali with her horrible wigs? This frizz nightmare is so distracting…as is the side boob and sagging cleavage. She’s meeting with Cyn at a hookah bar so they can complain about the craziness that is Erica Mena. Cyn looks fabulous from the shoulders up, but her jean shorts just look like heavy diapers. Cyn shares that she’s been working on her vocals, and Chrissy suggests she enlist the help of Rich Dollaz for an album. Chrissy feels very diabolical at the idea of bringing together two of Erica’s exes.
By the skin of his teeth, Peter Gunz makes it back to the States from Barbados just as Amina Buddafly goes into labor. In the delivery room, Amina questions Peter about his trip. Now that Tara Wallace has basically told him to hit the road, Peter reveals that he’s spoken to Tara and he wants to make things work with Amina. He reveals he’s happy to have closure with Tara, but he isn’t ready to admit that he was with Tara in Barbados. He doesn’t want to stress out Amina any further. However, he tells Amina that Tara his ready to move on, so–Congratulations!–he’s ready to give more energy to their marriage. Of course, all Amina hears is Tara kicked him to the curb so she’s sloppy seconds, which is what she should have heard because it’s basically what he said.
Oh, Love & Hip Hop! Anything for a story line, right? If this is how we’re going to play the entire season, I’m going to need Mona Scott Young to invest in some serious acting classes for Diamond Strawberry. She is far from believable. She’s anticipating (and responding) to Cisco’s baby mama drama before he can even get the words out of his mouth. Last night’s episode begins with Diamond flipping out over the news that Cisco has a six month old child with his other child’s mother when he and Diamond have “been together for two years.” He defends his baby mama to her outcries of “that ho” and “that b!tch,” but he feels horrible to upset Diamond at her own party. Diamond can’t believe this turn of events. Doesn’t he know she left her friends and family back in L.A. to make this work? By God, her daughter misses her. No one feels badly for you stupid decision to move away from your child for some cheating man, honey.
Peter Gunz is still walking a fine line between Amina Buddafly and Tara Wallace. Peter shares that he’s been tapped to be the face of a new energy drink, and they need him to fly to Trinidad for a photo shoot. I think he meant to say he was taking a family vacation to Barbados with Tara and his boys. Amina is floored that he could possibly miss the birth of their child. She is, after all, due in two weeks. Peter guarantees that he won’t miss the birth unless there’s a hurricane. He guilts her by saying that now more than ever they need the money. I wonder what’s going to happen when she finds out he’s spending money on Tara instead of making it. He feels bad lying to his wife, but a guy’s got to do what a guy’s got to do, right?
So who wants to place bets on whether Love & Hip Hop becomes more believable in 2015? As if! I am so far over the messy love triangle of Amina Buddafly, Peter Gunz and Tara Wallace. And, lesbihonest, there is nothing genuine about Erica Mena’s relationship with Cyn…except perhaps a fondness of Chipotle. Even the extremely likableYandy Smith is making me yawn with her tired story line regarding recently released from prison’s Mendeecees Harris. I think the only thing that is remotely real is the lack of Diamond Strawberry’s maternal skills.
Last night’s episode begins with Amina confronting Peter, Tara, and their kids after he stood her up on date night. She’s sobbing over the fact that her husband keeps sneaking around on her with his ex, and he’s yelling that she shouldn’t have come into the restaurant knowing he was with his kids. When Amina sits on the curb to cry, the always classy Peter stomps off embarrassed. Tara decides to go comfort Amina, and Tara tries to explain that Peter is a part of her family. Amina begs her to just take Peter back instead of continuing to make a fool out of her. Where do these people come from? Idiots, every last one of them! Tara then walks a grateful Amina to her car.
Stop the bus! We’ve got a lot of Stevie J. news to share. Before I start, I certainly hope that Mona Scott Young has Dr. Drew on speed dial so she can cash in on her Love & Hip Hop Atlanta star’s latest dramz! Celebrity Rehab plus LHH:ATL definitely equals a reality train wreck we’d all tune in to watch. And I’m worried about the future of humanity!
We all know that ol’ Stevie has been battling the feds over a minor child support snafu. Please note that “minor” was supposed to be typed in my special “sarcasm” font. The reality star reportedly owes back support to one the mothers of his children to the tune of over $1 million after neglecting to pay since 2001. His hearing is scheduled for January 9th, but apparently Stevie is hoping to strike a deal. Here’s hoping it happens before he heads to rehab. Yes, you read that correctly!
I don’t know about y’all, but I think this season of Love & Hip Hop is one of the most authentic and real examples of VH1’s reality show offerings. The Peter Gunz/Amina Buddafly/Tara Wallace love triangle? Totally believable! The relationship between Cisco and Diamond Strawberry? It’s the epitome of true romance! And Chrissy? Talk about the ultimate business woman! Mona, you have truly outdone yourself this time! Last night’s episode reconvenes with Yandy Smith and Mendeecees Harris fixin’ to get hitched in Vegas…except that Yandy just can’t do it. She tearfully explains her desire for a big wedding with family to the officiant, and Mendeecees seconds her assertions as the poor officiant cheerfully nods in the background. I never saw that coming! I truly thought they would be man and wife after last night. Meanwhile, Amina is working on a new album with her sister who is in town from Germany. I feel like the only thing genuine about this show is the talent. You know I’m right! Amina admits that she doesn’t really trust Peter and that he’s not around often.
Erica Mean and Cyn are starting a business together, but Cyn is more involved with her girlfriend’s Instagram drama with Chrissy. Cyn isn’t buying Erica’s elusive attitude when it comes to why Chrissy is coming for her on social media. Speaking of being elusive, Diamond has finally arrived in New York, but Cisco isn’t quite ready to open his home to his new girlfriend. Instead, he’s found a friend who will let her crash at her place. No worries, though. He’ll be by to visit. That seems reasonable.
So last night was the return of Love & Hip Hop. Some old favorites returned (along with some of the more unsavory characters) along with a new crew. Joe Budden is gone (at least for now). I’m not sure how I feel about this! I am happy that Mendeecees is out on bail, and Yandy Smith is over the moon to have her fiance back in the free world. Speaking of couples, Erica Mena and Cyn are back together and sharing Chipotle (at least for now). Erica’s even made her breakfast in bed in hopes of convincing her to co-habitate. Cyn is still a bit jealous over Erica’s recent on-air kiss with Lil’ Bow Wow…little does she know! Peter Gunz and Amina Buddafly are back together and expecting a baby girl. Amina is still blinded by love and stupidity for still being with this jack leg. At the ultrasound he mistakes the baby’s leg for a “giant penis” just like his. Good gracious. Amina questions Peter’s recent outings with his sons…he drops his son off at school and then doesn’t return until late at night. #redflag
We meet Diamond Strawberry, and she’s an aspiring model. Oh, and she’s also the daughter of famed baseball player Darryl Strawberry. Diamond wants to pursue her dreams in New York (how else is she going to be on this franchise), but her Los Angeles based family is less than supportive. It’s a sudden and drastic move (per Diamond), but she’s hoping it will bring her closer to her music producer boyfriend Cisco. Cut to Cisco who is in town to wine and dine Diamond and talking about his hustle and his connections. The couple complains about how difficult their long distance relationship is, and Diamond is happy to move to New York after dating for two years. Wait what? Cisco likes the status quo. Sure, Diamond is his one and only…when he’s with her in L.A., but he’s enlisted a “don’t ask, don’t tell” clause in their relationship, and he needs Diamond to abide…and stay on the West Coast.
Tsk, tsk, tsk, Mona Scott Young. You’ve created more than a few monsters, and instead of taking your cash cows to rehab, you seem to be laughing all the way to the bank. Too harsh? Perhaps you need to rewatch the first installment of the Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta reunion. You know, the one where Stevie J. bowed up to his former bestie Benzino, only to be interrupted by the wild animal known as the Puerto Rican Princess.
Since the one-sided brawl ensued that entailed Joseline Hernandez punching the shiz-nighee out of Benzino’s fiance (and former Stevie jump-off?) Althea Eaton, blogs have been ablaze with rumors that Joseline was higher than the ratings for this ratchetness! So, is there any truth to that gossip? Did you see her eyes and her brute strength?
VH1 promises: “A new group of R&B and hip hop hopefuls have their eyes on the prize and are ready to deliver the shock, drama, and scandal as only the #1 social show of the summer can do. With the music industry constantly evolving, these artists’ unwavering ambition keeps them hustling to stay at the top and willing to lay it all on the line.”
Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood premieres September 15 on VH1. Rumor has is that the cast and their storylines leave a lot to be desired – Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Atlanta anymore – we shall see! Check out the full cast and sneak peek below.