Ramona Singer

Last night was the final-final episode of Real Housewives Of New York, and I may be alone in this sentiment, but I’m gonna miss them! 

As the tail-end of the reunion, the drama was lackluster as all the mini-feuds were unscabbed and reargued part deux. At the center of most of the messes is Aviva Drescher. Among her many issues, she insists she was paying Carole Radziwill a compliment when she said, “At least I’m not 50 years old…” during their bookgate argument. Apparently in the convoluted twisted land of Avicious’ mind saying that someone is 50 and alone is a compliment, because she actually thought they were older. Ramona Singer, tact police, tut-tuts that even in a pinot-laced haze she knows that’s no compliment. That’s Aviva’s MO, to make a nasty comment and then claim the other person misconstrued it and she was actually trying to say xyz… 

Avicious‘ other MO is to drop classicist epithets. Last night’s recipient was Heather Thomson. Aviva is appalled by Heather’s use of the phrase “mother f–ka” because Aviva says it sounds “gangster” and Heather did not grow up in the ghetto – nor has she been to prison. Apparently those are the only places people learn such language. Which confuses me because didn’t Aviva tell Kristen Taekman to “shut the F–k up“? Was Aviva in prison unbeknownst to us? She should be! Or perhaps Vassar was teaching a Ghetto Language Course? Needless to say Heather is offended by Aviva’s ignorance. 

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Ahhhh… delusion. There’s a river of denial running through Real Housewives of New York and we better build a dam before it takes down the whole dang cast. I nominate Heather Thomson to be in charge. 

Clearly the powers that be at Andy Cohen Headquarters decided to put all the super crazies together to form some sort of cosmic force of intense delusion. The loose grasp of reality that was tenuously tying Ramona, Sonja, Aviva (Ramonjava?) to the world evaporated right there on stage. Of course “IT’S ALLEGATIONS!” that they’re insane. “ALLEGATIONS!” 

We open with Sonja Morgan discussing why she needs 9,000 interns. I want to know how many have lodged complaints with OSHA but Andy never asks the hard questions. She claims colleges give credits to these kids spending a semester learning Mac Calendar – scheduling Mrs. Morgan’s busy life of partying on her yacht with P. Diddy is “the hardest thing.” It takes a lot of creativity to completely fabricate Mrs. Morgan’s importance!

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