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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

rhobh-recap-lisa

Ahhhhhh… Real Housewives of Beverly Hills where mothering is a crime against humanity because naturally that's the nanny's job. In Beverly Hills one also needs to be heavily armed and ready at any moment for home invaders. I'd be more worried about closet raiders, but you know if broke into Yolanda Foster's house I'd go straight for the Hermes belt collection. Just me?

We begin at Carlton Gebbia's house where she's hosting a party to promote naked girls. Carlton: the Playboy mansion you are not. Carlton's "nanny", who is never near children ever, which given her behavior is probably a good thing, helps choose exotic dancers to perform.

Carlton drones monotonously for the 400th time that she loves women. I am out of patience with this cougar-in-heat trying to be the Joe Francis of the middle-aged. I'm sure Carlton's daughters aren't embarrassed at allll to be seeing their mother's Sexford Wife shenanigans. 

Brandi Glanville adopted a new dog named Buddy to distract her kids from Chica's disappearance. Brandi hates Buddy and complains that he wants to be near her. He peed on her bed - yeah that's annoying, but I'm sure Brandi has also peed on her bed in a drunken stupor. 

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Camille Grammer

Camille Grammer left Real Housewives of Beverly Hills after last season and didn't even attend the reunion.

At the time Camille was a "friend" of the Housewives instead of a full-time cast member and with her boyfriend Dimitri Charalambopoulos disinterested in participating and producers deciding she was "too sensitive" for reality TV, Camille left. 

Camille then announced she was undergoing treatment for endometrial cancer

Since then lots has changed!

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Frozen World Premiere at El Capitan Theater

Amid rumors that she's being fired from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills for being boring, Kim Richards is writing one of her first blogs of the season. Of course Kim has lots to say about Lisa Vanderpump missing her daughter Kimberly's graduation party. 

True to form, good ol' Rambles meanders through her reactions to the episode. 

First of all Kim tells us what an intimate and personal event Kimberly's party was. "I only invited a small group of only our closest friends and family," Kim writes. Which includes the entire RHOBH cast? "All the people that came are so special to me and have played a part of Kimberly and my lives." 

"When I invited everyone, most people received evites and there were just a handful that I happened to invite myself – Lisa was one of those people," Kim writes. "I really was on the fence with who I wanted there. I had to consider the limited space and I did not want any problems or fighting on this very special night."

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The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills - Season 4

You have to love Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Lisa Vanderpump. She can throw shade with the best of them and still sound classy to boot. For example, in her Bravo blog this week she touts her extensive charity work while subtly scolding Kim Richards for calling her a liar for saying she couldn't attend her daughter's graduation because she was out of town. She also schools her Emily Post style. As for Brandi Glanville's behavior towards Joyce Giraud? Lisa couldn't be more appalled, but it's so understated, it's like the perfect strand of pearls. 

Lisa begins by talking about traveling to St. Louis for her volunteer work–and Giggy's!–to reveal why she wasn't able to make Kimberly's graduation shindig. She writes, "Now Giggy is a personality in his own right, so I needed a charity that would fit his profile — and children with alopecia was a perfect match. Now can I compare Giggy's hair loss with that of a child's? Of course not, but I knew that Giggy could make a difference, bring some levity to what otherwise can be a somber affair. When Giggy appears and we talk with the children and teenagers — many of whom watch him every week, many had just seen him on Dancing With the Stars — the message is clear. Should alopecia stop you being the very best you can be? We asked the children if they thought he would be cuter with his fur. They unanimously answered no he was perfect, so then I gently remind them that is the way people feel about them."

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Alicia DiMichele walking in South Philly

It's that time of the week!  The one where we take a peek at what our favorite (and not so favorite) reality TV stars have been up to.  The one where we see who's been calling the paps, who's begging for red carpet event invites…you get the picture! 

Above: Mob Wives newbie Alicia Di Michele Garofalo invited photographers along as she roamed the streets of South Philly near her boutique.

Below we have Farrah Abraham hitting up a "Real World" event.  (insert the jokes you're dying to share here).  Yolanda's gorgeous daughter Gigi Hadid stopped by a gifting suite, Giuliana Rancic supported Drew Barrymore's new book and Jennifer Lopez celebrated another season of American Idol.  Also spotted: Snooki promoting her new book, Kyle Richards 'candidly' caught on the streets of Beverly Hills, and Joanna Krupa attending a movie premiere. 

Also spotted this week:  La La Anthony, Paris Hilton, former Miami Housewife Cristy Rice, and many more!  Not seen this week: Kelly Bensimon!

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rhoa-recap-porsha

The reality TV viewer numbers are in – and Real Housewives of Atlanta wins again. 4.187 million viewers (compared to last week's record breaking 4.519) tuned in this week. For Love & Hip Hop, 3.112 million watched Joe propose to Tahiry, which is up from last week's 2.889.

The other reality shows are holding steady.  Sister Wives garnered 2 million viewers on Sunday. On Monday, 1.804 million viewers witnessed Brandi and Carlton's drunken pole dancing on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and 1.446 million watched Kristen get ridiculously drunk on Vanderpump Rules.

On Tuesday, 1.20 million viewers went to the Del Mar races with the Shahs of Sunset crowd, and 2.004 million fans tuned in to see the Dance Moms stress over Abby's first open audition.

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brandi glanville

No really, she does!  It's the title of her weekly tell-all for Bravo!  I feel like I'm moderating a debate, or more accurately a high school mean girls bitchfest. Yesterday, we brought you Joyce Giraud's take on her beef with Brandi Glanville on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and now we're allowing Brandi a rebuttal. She uses her Bravo blog to give her side of the Joyce drama while explaining away her and Carlton Gebbia's behavior at Kim Richards' party. Oh, of course she manages to get in some digs at Lisa Vanderpump, too. Brandi's such a multi-tasker!

She begins, "Carlton asked me and some of her other girlfriends to meet up for a pole dancing lesson before we went over to Kimberly's graduation party. Although Kim and I were not super close at this point, I honestly couldn't remember a time since I've known her that she had hosted anything, so I was definitely not going to miss it. Carlton had a few drinks before our class. I was not on the same level, but almost instantly I starting feeling dizzy and nauseous. I assumed it was motion sickness from the poles spinning. But later I spiked a fever and was throwing up for the next day-and-a-half, so I think its safe to assume I caught some sort of bug and it wasn't just motion sickness." Oh girl. I was born, but it wasn't yesterday!

Continuing, Brandi writes, "We head over to Kim's and I thought it might be a good idea to grab a burger before we went in to hopefully help Carlton sober up a bit and help me to stop feeling so crappy. I feel bad I was ill at Kim's house, but it really couldn't have been helped. It was better that we didn't stay anyhow because Joyce was there in some ridiculous get up and I didn't want to have a confrontation with Miss Attention Seeker a high school graduation party."

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brandi-glanville-bravo

Brandi Glanville continues her downward spiral this week, not only on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills but in "real life" on her new podcast. 

I have to admit that I listened to Brandi's podcast as soon as she shared it on Monday night at midnight.  I listened to the interview in the first half of the show with new RHONY star Kristen Taekman and there weren't any big revelations or any juicy tidbits, so I was going to skip the rest, but I got sidetracked while it kept playing in the background.  The second half of Brandi's show was an interview with Jim Florentine and Don Jamieson from VH1 Classic's "That Metal Show".  Brandi started off their interview showing her  classy side.  Joking about child molestation. 

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