Real Housewives of Orange County Recap

Real Housewives of Orange County reunion recap

Part 2 of Real Housewives Of Orange County reunion aired last night. Well, that was a refreshingly light-hearted hour of television, wasn’t it?!

So who wants to discuss THE AFFAIR with Shannon Beador again?

Anybody… well damn, too bad! Shannon and David did a vow renewal, and none of us understand how emotional, loving, caring, amazing David was ’cause the cameras didn’t show it. Only Vicki Gunvalson understands! See, she and Donn did this lil’ thing called a vow renewal, but 15 minutes later, they were divorced and Brooks Ayers had infiltrated the Coto. Empty Love Tank will drive you into the arms of the wrong love.

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real housewives of Orange County reunion
Happy Election Day. Or is it unhappy? What’s more distressing: The 2016 presidential election, or a Real Housewives Of Orange County reunion? I can’t choose who won or lost the debates that happened on Bravo’s biggest stage last night, moderated by Andy Cohen, who believes in hard-hitting journalism – like how did Tamra Judge achieve such a great ass?!

So, I might kinda love Kelly Dodd. Throw me under the bus in Ireland – I don’t care.

Sure, Kelly is crazy and shoots her mouth off, but really – Tamra never met an F-bomb or a crass comment she didn’t like, and Shannon Beador willingly admits being friends with a woman whose “trademark thing” is going around accusing people of “sucking d–k for money,” so what I’m saying is that the high horse bucked y’all off, and told you to get in the donkey pen with the other asses.

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Vicki is all by herself

Must every season of Real Housewives Of Orange County end with ‘The Persecution Of Vicki Gunvalson?’ Do we have to muster up the energy to care about that again? Didn’t we see this finale last year?

Vicki does reprehensible things and doesn’t understand that they’re reprehensible. She also can’t apologize for hurting people’s feelings. Briana is right about that. Yet, for all Briana’s parenting of her mother, Vicki refuses to see the reality that people don’t forget things you’ve said or done because you give them a good whoop it up or two. Vicki’s version of friendships are as deep as one night stands. Although I honestly don’t know that I would be offering sincere apologies to any of these biatches either. Do any of them really deserve one? Truly?

I imagine that Tamra Judge, Heather Dubrow, and Shannon Beador see themselves as victorious after last night’s episode – they have triumphed in the face of evil, stood in solidarity, and exorcised the devil. Yeah, except, not cause the devil is inside.

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Real Housewives of Orange County recap

Despite appearances, nobody actually “won” on last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County. Everybody lost – even Meghan Edmonds.

Kelly Dodd‘s motto is, “If you’re not first, you’re last.” Well, there ya go. Poor Meghan only lost by association. I cannot believe four so-called adult women were behaving so Jerry Springer and then jumping through hoops trying to deny, deflect, and justify their actions. It was nonstop sifting through everyone lying while pointing fingers at other people’s lies. Yep, I’m looking at you Tamra Judge, Shannon Beador, and ESPECIALLY Vicki Gunvalson!

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Real Housewives of Orange County recap

Just when you thought the Real Housewives Of Orange County couldn’t behave any worse in Ireland, Vicki Gunvalson flashes her boobs at the dinner table and Shannon Beador turns into a after-school special about middle-age bullying.

What a strange episode! So Kelly Dodd is a rampant liability who needs to be exposed, so suddenly the ladies are all BFF with Vicki again. Yes, even Shannon. Tequila Shots became the Trojan Horse of RHOC last night, and it was well, awful.

These women know Vicki’s love tank, all cylinders of it, are running on “E” and her yearning to be their friend is so palpable you could drink it in a shot glass. Yet, who is Kelly’s only conceivable ally on RHOC? Vicki – the other ostracized one. And how do you get Kelly defenseless when she’s indefensible? Capture Vicki, leaving her bogged down in the conflict between what is right and what is right for her right now.

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Real Housewives of Orange County recap

You can take the girl out of a tavern, but you can’t take the tavern out of a girl on Real Housewives Of Orange County. Or maybe it is just that you can’t take Tamra Judge and Kelly Dodd anywhere?

I honestly don’t know where to begin with last night’s trip to Ireland, except that I’m incredibly disappointed that there were no cameras rolling to see Heather Dubrow get kicked out of a bathroom, Kim Richards-style, in a high-class department store, then escorted out the door for being one of those raucous Americans. You just know that was the very most earth-shatteringly distressing moment of Heather’s life.

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Real Housewives of Orange County recap

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County, there was a whiff of secrets in the air and Shannon Beador made the decision to ‘fake it til she doesn’t have to make it anymore’ in her non-friendship with Vicki Gunvalson.

It’s not like Shannon had an epiphany No, she was just tired of everyone pointing out the obvious: she has unresolved issues with Vicki. Of course Vicki resorted to thinly veiled threats basically forcing Shannon to act like her friend, or else, because the best way to start over is by holding a person hostage by potential secrets. ‘Or else’ what…we’re not sure since Vicki has the ‘or else’ in ‘the vault’ stored alongside the date she realized Brooks was faking cancer.

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Kelly Dodd's marriage is a mess

We’re moving on, we’re moving backwards, and we’re moving into straight crazy territory on Real Housewives Of Orange County. Who isn’t on the edge of their seat after that preview for the rest of the season? In a war between Vicki Gunvalson and Tamra Judge, it was always a toss-up, but then Tamra found Jesus through jumping jacks and Vicki got ‘duped’ by her own desperation, so now I don’t know… It’s probably still a toss-up!

Apparently Bravo is using Tamra as some sort of Kelly Dodd reflecting pool. Like, ‘Oh remember way back when when Tamra was an irascible ‘naked wasted getting’ bitch throwing wine in her friend’s faces? But now that she’s found the ever-supportive Eddie, she’s calm and centered.’ Like Kelly could be that too if she divorced Michael. I don’t know. Crazy is as crazy does, and crazy takes advice from Tamra and Vicki!

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