Ronnie Ortiz-Magro

Jersey Shore is drawing to a close, and I'm equal parts sad and relieved.  Okay, so maybe not equal parts…I'm more relieved than sad.  Just like the shirt before the shirt, tonight is the episode before the finale.  I am going to miss these crazy kids.  They love each other without question.  Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola, Vinny Guadagnino, Pauly "DJ Pauly D" Delvechhio, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, Deena Nicole Cortese, and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, I'm honestly going to miss you.  Call me.  Seriously.  And God speed. 

I realize they are probably too old to be the party animals they are at this age (although that throws a wrench in my social plans), but they are still human, vulnerable, and fun-loving.  You can't help but relate to that…or maybe you can't, but I can.

On last night's episode, the boys have recently made peace with Jionni.  Jenni calls Roger who reveals that Jenni has been pot stirring about Jionni's mismatched relationships with the guy roommates.  Jenni isn't happy that Jionni says she's been talking crap about her.  Rawn is quick to defend Jenni although he knows what was said at the guys' night out.  Jenni decides to go straight to the source and calls Jionni.  She questions why Jionni thinks that she's been talking smack.  As far as Jenni is concerned, Jionni wasn't present for the first half of the summer.  He bends, she forgives, and the pair loves each other for the sake of Snooki.

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Okay, so I guess it's time to say good-bye to Vinny Guadagnino, DJ Pauly D Devecchio, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Ronni Ortiz-Magro, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola, and Deena Cortese.  I feel like I'm slowly bidding farewell to cousins I don't acknowledge.  Three episodes left?  It's devastating, y'all!

We resume the Jersey Shore with Vinny trying to make amends with Snooki's fiance Jionni…at his future son's baby shower no less.  It's super awkward.  Jionni questions Vinny about joking that Vin is the actual dad.  The conversation is seamless, and all is good in the land of Jionni and Vin.  Really?  I thought that MTV would have sprung for more drama.  Thankfully Jionni's insecurities don't get in the way of a bottle chugging contest.  Rawn wins.  Who is shocked?

Snooki loves unwrapping baby clothes, champagne, and wine, typical baby shower gifts.   Jenni asks Jionni to come around more often which basically calls him out for not being present up to this point.  Snooki is just thrilled for a baby day.  While she still can't look at Mike, she's excited about all of her presents.  Mike is planning his entrance for when he can finally make amends with Snooki.  After a Mike-Snooki video montage, Sitch heads to Nicole's apartment.  I'm unsure as to whether this is part of his twelve step program.  Yikes.

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The countdown is officially on until the final Jersey Shore.  Last night's episode showered Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi with baby gifts at a party planned by Jenni "JWoww" Farley with the help of Deena Cortese, and Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola.  Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Vinny Guadagnino, and DJ Pauly D Delvecchio were back in action as MVP with not much luck, and Ronnie Ortiz-Magro found comic relief in a gorilla costume. 

The meatballs decide to have a dressy dinner date since Jionni is too preoccupied with his softball game to come visit Snooki.  Rawn decides it's the perfect opportunity to put on a giant gorilla suit and scare the crap out of a napping Jenni.  The gang is heading to dinner (minus the meatballs), and Jenni shares her scare with Sam.  Mike wonders why Snooki can't just smile and have a good time with the roommates.  Rawn totally disapproves of Jionni putting softball before his pregnant fiance. 

Snooki and Deena are enjoying a chill meatball evening.  Snooki is glad that they can still have fun without being blackout drunk and getting arrested.  She asks Deena to accompany her to the baby store the following day after work.  Deena hems and haws about how she already promised Sam she'd go with her to the grocery store.  She can't let Snooki go shopping for the baby when they've already bought her everything for her surprise shower.  Great save there, Deena!  She manages to change the subject to not sleeping naked because she's terrified of bugs laying eggs in her Britney.  It's perfectly acceptable dinner conversation, right?

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After last night's episode of the Jersey Shore, MTV hosted a Restore the Shore special to aid victims of Hurricane Sandy.  Of course, the network wanted to keep us abreast of all things Jersey telethon, so they updated during commercial breaks.  Manning the duck phones are Teen Moms Catelynn Lowell and Maci Bookout, as well as Real Housewives of New Jersey's Melissa and Poison Gorga.  You've got to love when two worlds networks collide. 

I must say that I appreciate Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola, Vinny Guadagnino, DJ "Pauly D" DelVecchio, Deena Cortese, and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino are doing for their beloved shore.  You have to admit that these kids have come a long way.  Snooki was even a guest host on Anderson Live yesterday, and she actually sounded slightly intelligent and not at all the cooch flashing train wreck of seasons past.  Baby steps.

We begin with Rawn, Snooki, and Deena working at the Shore Store.  The meatballs are already hoping to bail on their shift, and hard-working Ronnie is beyond frustrated.  He and Danny retaliate by donning trucker hats and ditching work like true meatballs.  Mike calls his sister and dishes on Paula.  He wants a classy girl, and his sister gives him advice on how to proceed with "shocking" Paula.  A giant storm rolls in (which I realize is nothing compared to the super storm), and Snooki and Deena are freaking out.  Down the boardwalk, Ronnie and Danny drink fruity cocktails and laugh about the chaos the girls are likely unleashing on the store. 

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It's still sad to see Seaside Heights in all of its glory, and our thoughts and prayers are still with the victims of Hurricane Sandy.  Of course, our cringing and laughs are still with last night's episode of Jersey Shore.  One half of the meatball brigade continued her messy behavior while a newly sober roommate learned some "shocking" things about his new girlfriend. 

Deena Cortese is crying and yelling at Ronnie Ortiz-Magro.  It's awkward.  He wants to know how he can help her get through her major issues.  DJ "Pauly D" Delvecchio believes that Deena will be a new person in the morning…once she's sober.  You have to be worried about our future when Pauly D is the voice of reason.  Vinny Guadagnino thinks that Deena is suffering from anxiety, and he's an expert on the subject.   Deena is hyperventilating, and Vinny is trying to teach her how to cope.  Inside, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola is chastising Rawn for being too hard on Deena even she's losing patience with the roommate herself.  Rawn and Jenni "JWoww" Farley think that Deena's parents coddle their daughter too much.  Vinny is concerned that Deena is drinking through her issues.

Ronnie calls Deena's mom and learns that her parents are on the way to pick up their daughter.  He explains to her parents that Deena is just wasted.  She doesn't need to go home, she needs to sleep off her alcohol binge.  The housemates are happy that Vinny was able to talk some sense into Deena, and she's much less angry when she rejoins everyone in the den. 

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It's bittersweet recapping the Jersey Shore this week given the destruction of Seaside Heights at the wrath of Hurricane Sandy.  I'm only hoping that for an hour we can all escape real life and enjoy the antics of these crazy adults.  Or not.  Vinny Guadagnino opens the show urging people to give to the Red Cross relief effort, as he should.  Leave it to Vin to have me tearing up less than a minute into the show.  I love that guy!

Last night's episode begins with Jenni "JWoww" Farley trying to salvage her relationship with Roger on the duck phone.  She reminds him that they live together, but he turns around to remind her that she leaves to go film these shows every couple of months.  He doesn't want to break-up with her, but Roger is so over the club scene.  He's too old.  That's progress.  Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino shares his newly coupled worries with Jenni.  He wonders if it's normal for girls to go buck wild once they become monogamous.  Paula has, much to Mike's dismay.  She talks about sex and being crazy…all the things that Sitch's virgin ears can't handle.  Give me a break!  Mike can't get over his new girlfriend's openness.  When he, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Deena Cortese head to work at the Shore Store, Rawn jokes about having sexual escapades that lasted longer than Mike's fresh and new relationship.  Deena, always the trooper, doesn't get upset when Danny makes her wear a prison jumpsuit at work.  While she believes the joke is too soon (I totally concur), she goes along with it because that's what meatballs do.  Mike tries to give his relationship the benefit of the doubt given that the pair has only been dating one day.  He's such a gentleman.  He calls Paula an 8.2 and wants to spoil her into a 10.  Wow.  Gag.  This is why I don't heart Mike.  Paula surprises Mike at the Shore Store, and both Deena and Ronnie think it's more that he can handle.  She's too comfortable. 

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