Poor Vicki Gunvalson. She wants to be a good friend and get along with all the girls so they can have a good old fashioned whoop it up time, until she invites scandalous gossip mongers to her birthday party, then she’s all “Tell me more!”
Vicki started off on the right foot by asking Tamra Judge to coffee. She ended up in the wrong red dress when she continued to facilitate inappropriate speculation about Eddie Judge’s life. Vicki needs Spanx for her mouth, as well as for her red dress.
“When I decided to call Tamra to ask her to go get coffee it was because I’m tired of the fighting and I wanted to make amends. She has been doing everything she can to alienate me with my friends. We weren’t even speaking when Kelly and I talked about it. I don’t know why she can’t let it go and move on,” Vicki complains. Cause: accountability!
Someone once told me if you have nothing nice to say; say nothing at all. Well, unfortunately I’m not at liberty to do that – sorry Real Housewives Of Orange County. I have nothing nice to say about any of you, and the thought of holding it all in makes me want to cry like I’m Meghan Edmonds fake-sobbing in a canyon. Maybe Meghan’s tears were instal-dried by the wind or evaporated. Or plastic people make plastic tears which just clog in their tear ducts and until they’re plucked out and thrown away.
Meghan and Vicki Gunvalson aren’t so different, are they? It’s ME ME ME all the TIME TIME TIME. No one understands and blah, blah, blah…
This is frustrating because Kelly is in the right about Meghan’s behavior but, as always, Kelly’s delivery and her viciousness get the better of her!
The whole thing started off so promisingly – in a baby store. Amid queries about sleigh cribs or modern cages, Kelly joked with Meghan that perhaps she’s “a lesbo” after a drunken kiss with Shannon Beador. Kelly and Meghan guffaw like Kelly ‘s kiss with Shannon is so trendy and cool, instead of waving from the caboose on Katy Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl” train. More prescient is how quickly Kelly and Shannon moved from mortal enemies to K-I-S-S-ING. First comes hate, then comes love, then comes Meghan in the middle!
Peggy didn’t appreciate Tamra‘s “selectively reiterated” version of events to Eddie. She says Tamra made her look like the bad guy, but the whole thing isn’t worth her time. “My intention was to smoothen out the rocky patch between Vicki and Tamra, but I now understand that it’s not worth for me to involve myself.” She says that she was only trying to help and shouldn’t be bashed for that.
After dedicating her blog to the people of Houston, Kelly launches right into breaking down the Real Housewives Of Orange County drama. One such gem is Kelly’s observation that, “If Peggy has resting bitch face, then Tamra definitely has chronic bitch mouth.” True! “I didn’t understand why Tamra said she wanted to give Peggy a second chance,” continues Kelly, “then insults her by saying she has a ‘resting bitch face’?”
“Eddie is always the voice of reason and that’s one reason why I love him so much,” Tamra shares. “Even though sometimes I just want to vent, he’s 100% right I should not care what Peggy was saying or let Vicki affect me. I’m trying, I promise!”
After the encouragement (re: advice that falls on deaf ears) Eddie provides her, Tamra decided not to be ‘A Shannon‘ by doing a Spartan Race to support Eddie. It was a death-defying life threatening experience for the Real Housewives Of Orange County star, so naturally Tamra roped her favorite pot-stirrer Lydia McLaughlin into doing it too! Unfortunately she couldn’t convince Shannon to be there for David.
Tamra is reeling from her ‘argument’ with Peggy Sulahian, because Tamra feels ‘attacked’ by Peggy. This attacking consisted of Peggy sticking her resting bitch face (or is that just Botox overdose?) into Tamra’s issues with Vicki and suggesting, that perhaps, just perhaps, Tamra should practice what she preaches and move on. In response Tamra decided Peggy could never be her friend. #Adulting
At CUT-A-BITCH Fitness (propel your rage into Booty By Bible!), Tamra is training for a Spartan Race. While wearing a Charo ponytail that is just so naturally how her hair looks,she complains that Peggy is a judgmental bitch who doesn’t understand her deep and meaningful non-relationship with Vicki. Peggy apparently does understand Tamra’s BS, though!
She starts off her latest blog by pondering Tamra’s issues with deflection and her inability to accept blame. “Watching Tamra talk with her mom about her lacking in communication skills is exactly what I have experienced with her as well. Tamra blaming everyone else and not taking accountability for her own actions is typical. I’m so tired of Tamra constantly talking about how “I ATTACKED HER MARRIAGE”, because she knows it is the farthest thing from the truth. She is focused on this to attempt to get others to be on her side and to take the focus off of her own issues. The fact is the fact. I didn’t attack her marriage – I want her happy. But the truth is, I don’t want to continue to talk about it publicly or privately because I don’t care one way or another. Tamra is the one who keeps bringing it up, not me. I don’t care about it – it’s dead to me.”