The Real Housewives Of Orange County are in Tahiti, which means Meghan Edmonds is dishing out lectures on how to behave all cultured and classy-ish while Tamra Judge is desperate to show off her new jugs with some topless swimming. When not in America be like the French! Thank goodness Governess Heather Dubrow was supervising this trip to keep these bitches in line. Heather is demanding a raise – she has diamond-studded Champs Doorbells to buy!
First things first, the group boards a ferry to get to their final destination: Moorea. Like any good horror movie it starts with the heroine getting the feeling that something is wrong…. Vicki Gunvalson‘s suspicions grew in proportion to Meghan’s hair soufflé, which expanded like a Chia Pet … getting pouffier and pouffier… meanwhile Vicki was feeling pukier and pukier – even her dry heaves sound like whoo hoos.
Before traveling to Tahiti our unfortunate Housewives are forced to take part in a couples game night hosted by Meghan. Because Meghan takes her job as being a HashtagCoolStepMom very seriously, Hayley, her 17-year-old stepdaughter is involved in the planning of said party. Meghan, confusing a grownup party with her own Candy Land Princess-themed birthday party, went to Party City and bought balloons and giant bags of candy. If Heather Dubrow were planning this, she’d hire a French chocolatier to hand-craft custom-flavored truffles decorated with the family insignia. Alas, this is Meghan we’re dealing with so Blow Pops it is.
Heather Dubrow has a lot going on this season on the Real Housewives of Orange County. Personally, I get a kick out of her fancy pants behavior, and admit I watch the Housewives to get a peek at the kind of mega-mansion lifestyle she’s building (rather than the latest ranch rental a’la Brandi Glanville or fraudulent grasping at wealth via RHONJ). So, true to her “pretty close” to perfect life – and tag line – Heather has a lot of updates this week on the fabulousness that is Heather!
Captioning the above photo on her Instagram, Heather wrote, “Lighting and painting and stone OH MY ! #buildingthehouse#willwebeinbydecember #12hourstoday.” So, sounds like the Dubrows are working toward a December deadline. But Heather can’t promise this will be the last house they ever build, sharing with All Things Real Housewives recently that her family is used to moving, and may well keep on moving (to what? a theme park!?) until the end of time! “Terryand I have been together for almost two decades and we’ve never lived in one place longer than three years. Who knows!” Heather divulged. “We could be here one year, two years, ten years, twenty years. You never know. I will say it has been a lot of work, in the last two days I’ve been there eleven hours a day with very crucial planning.”
Tamra Judge is admitting that she and Eddie Judge bit off more togetherness than they could chew by opening a new business in their first year of marriage. In this week’s episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County Tamra told Eddie she’s going to be less involvement in CUT Fitness to re-focus on her real estate career.
“Getting married and starting a business in the same year was a challenge and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone,” advises Tamra. “CUT Fitness has had its up and downs and so many times I wanted to throw in the towel, but what I have learned is it takes a good three years to get a company off the ground.
Last night on Real Housewives Of Orange County reality was a hard-knocks life. Meghan Edmonds cried because being a grownup is really, really, really difficult and she just needs Jimmy to wipe her tears and tell her it will be OK. Unfortunately she can’t find the box of tissues in the moving boxes and she’s pretty sure the movers put them in with her trashcan right next to her self-awareness.
Shannon Beador is on a quest to lose weight; her heavy heart is weighing her down. Despite being 50 she’s never, ever worked out! Shannon visits some trainer/spiritualist who makes her pull up her shirt and then squeezes her chi center, (which if you say that out like sounds like a delicious crispy snack similar to Cheetos!). Shannon isn’t sure what’s making the scale rise and rise (mixing nine lemons with vodka?!) but the likely culprit is emotional baggage.
Unfortunately, it seems Tamra Judge‘s eldest son Ryan Vieth will never get his act together. Recent police reports reveal that the new father was arrested last month after a drunken domestic dispute with his fiancé Sarah Rodriguez!
The discomfort of watching Shannonand David Beador’smarriage crumble on camera during the Real Housewives of Orange Country is off the charts this season (or maybe that’s just me?). This week, Shannon reflects on how tough it is to watch “every single negative moment” she has with David, but reassures viewers that there are good times ahead. She also claims that David is really trying to make their marriage work. Well, I don’t know if the viewers need to be reassured of anything at this point, but let’s dig in to her blog nonetheless!
“What an episode,” begins Shannon. “Such joy and such sorrow all at the same time.” Happy that Tamra Judge visited Vicki Gunvalson before she traveled to her mother’s funeral, Shannon also touches on the “unique relationship” that her own daughter, Stella, has with “Aunt Vicki.” She shares that her girls “of course heard everything that had happened when Vicki was at the bunco party and Stella took my phone and wrote Vicki the sweetest, heartfelt text the next day.”
Tamra is preparing to go to Northern California with her mom to witness her granddaughter’s birth. Sarah, Ryan’s wife, has a scheduled c-section and Tamra is bummed Ryan will be in the delivery room instead of the TAM-MA. After all WHO has more experience with babies?! #Astro.
The whole situation is a bit bittersweet, however, because Vicki is leaving for Chicago for her mother’s funeral and Tamra is sad she won’t be able to attend. Tamra deals with her grief by focusing on how she’ll be the hottest grandma in the OC and that her mom Sandra will be the hottest great-grandma. She instructs Sandra to get a full-body health scan and then have some sex for the other type of full-body scan, so she doesn’t die. Only Tamra would combine sex and death and grandmothers in a heart-to-heart. I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not…