As the last night of Mo’orea came to a close, Heather Dubrow found herself in the middle of a pot-stirring situation. She explains why she wasn’t “going after” Tamra Judge during dinner, why being friends with Jim Edmonds’ second ex-wife and current wife #3 Meghan Edmonds is A-okay, in her book. Plus, Heather hints at a “bizarre turn” of events to come on next week’s Real Housewives of Orange County.
After filling us in on her busy summer with the kids, Heather dives into this week’s episode. She admits, “Yes, Tamra and Vicki [Gunvalson] were VERY hungover, but we had plans and I wanted to get them moving! We were on vacation and there is time to nap later! I know in my interview I said they aren’t 18 anymore…I meant 21…I know what the legal drinking age is and I’m certainly not condoning underage drinking! Just a slip of the tongue!”
Last night on Real Housewives Of Orange County the ladies played Bravo’s most popular game: She/said-She/Said. The winner was Meghan Edmonds, who claimed the ‘Pot Stirrer Meet Kettle’ award. Because honestly, accusing someone else of being a pot stirrer in defense of Tamra Judge is absolutely ludicrous beyond belief!
As is always the case on vacations Tamra and Vicki Gunvalson can’t keep it in their pants… their bodily functions that is. After a night of binge drinking Tamra, Vicki, and Shannon Beador are in no condition to go on an underwater excursion. As Tamra termed it she can’t stop s#*!ing herself. Can we get Tamra and Vicki some sort of potty training refresher course? Meanwhile not even the nebulizer can clear out Shannon’s brain.
Heather Dubrow, wearing DENIM CUTOFFS (it was like an alien sighting — but she looked great), barges in to try to rally them, but even her assurances that she had Depends and wipes in her Birkin couldn’t get Vicki and Shannon to come along. Tamra dragged herself aboard the bus and worked diligently not to poop her 1992 Hair Band video vixen hot pink one-piece during the boat trip.
The ladies of Real Housewives Of Orange County are in Tahiti and Meghan is having meltdowns because she wishes she could just have her step kids all to herself. Tamra, who is in a custody battle with her ex-husband, took Meghan’s comments personally and explains in her blog why it upset her.
Beginning with the positive Tamra says Tahiti was her “favorite trip” with the ladies and gushes about the fabulously fun time she had taking shots with Vicki and Shannon. But it wasn’t all binge drinking and peeing in the pool (which Tamra doesn’t think she did), Meghan also sobbed over the fact that she has to share her stepchildren, and Tamra thinks Meghan needs to get a little perspective.
Remember the woman Tamra Judge frequently liked to call Jesus Jugs? You know, before Tamra found enlightenment and all that? Well, former Real Housewives of Orange County’sAlexis Bellino may not be holding an orange anymore, but she’s still making that Alexis Couture fashion line happen! And she’s giving away one dress from her line, along with a personal meet and greet, to one lucky fan all in the name of charity.
The meet and greet, awarded to one winner and up to four of his or her most patient friends, will be auctioned off via Charitybuzz. Donation bids will benefit Children’s Craniofacial Association (CCA), an organization that raises money to help children born with facial differences, sometimes referred to as disfigurements. CCA offers assistance and even retreats for families whose children must seek treatment or surgery for facial differences. Sounds like a wonderful cause, truly.
Tamra Judge is not ready to give up on rebuilding a relationship with her 16-year-old daughter Sydney – even if that means taking ex-husband Simon Barney back to court! This time Tamra is fighting to have Simon’s full custody of Sydney revoked claiming he is in contempt of court. I’d say he’s contemptuous alright!
The exes have been waging war against each other over custody after Simon filed court documents barring their three minor children from appearing on Real Housewives Of Orange County, plus accusing Tamra of abuse and neglect. Simon was seeking to revoke joint custody from Tamra. However, Simon was called out by a judge for exaggerating his claims, for which he had no proof, although the judge upheld the decision that the kids be kept off reality TV.
The Real Housewives Of Orange County are in Tahiti, which means Meghan Edmonds is dishing out lectures on how to behave all cultured and classy-ish while Tamra Judge is desperate to show off her new jugs with some topless swimming. When not in America be like the French! Thank goodness Governess Heather Dubrow was supervising this trip to keep these bitches in line. Heather is demanding a raise – she has diamond-studded Champs Doorbells to buy!
First things first, the group boards a ferry to get to their final destination: Moorea. Like any good horror movie it starts with the heroine getting the feeling that something is wrong…. Vicki Gunvalson‘s suspicions grew in proportion to Meghan’s hair soufflé, which expanded like a Chia Pet … getting pouffier and pouffier… meanwhile Vicki was feeling pukier and pukier – even her dry heaves sound like whoo hoos.
Before traveling to Tahiti our unfortunate Housewives are forced to take part in a couples game night hosted by Meghan. Because Meghan takes her job as being a HashtagCoolStepMom very seriously, Hayley, her 17-year-old stepdaughter is involved in the planning of said party. Meghan, confusing a grownup party with her own Candy Land Princess-themed birthday party, went to Party City and bought balloons and giant bags of candy. If Heather Dubrow were planning this, she’d hire a French chocolatier to hand-craft custom-flavored truffles decorated with the family insignia. Alas, this is Meghan we’re dealing with so Blow Pops it is.
Heather Dubrow has a lot going on this season on the Real Housewives of Orange County. Personally, I get a kick out of her fancy pants behavior, and admit I watch the Housewives to get a peek at the kind of mega-mansion lifestyle she’s building (rather than the latest ranch rental a’la Brandi Glanville or fraudulent grasping at wealth via RHONJ). So, true to her “pretty close” to perfect life – and tag line – Heather has a lot of updates this week on the fabulousness that is Heather!
Captioning the above photo on her Instagram, Heather wrote, “Lighting and painting and stone OH MY ! #buildingthehouse#willwebeinbydecember #12hourstoday.” So, sounds like the Dubrows are working toward a December deadline. But Heather can’t promise this will be the last house they ever build, sharing with All Things Real Housewives recently that her family is used to moving, and may well keep on moving (to what? a theme park!?) until the end of time! “Terryand I have been together for almost two decades and we’ve never lived in one place longer than three years. Who knows!” Heather divulged. “We could be here one year, two years, ten years, twenty years. You never know. I will say it has been a lot of work, in the last two days I’ve been there eleven hours a day with very crucial planning.”