2013 Black Friday Gift Guide – Reality TV Products Edition

Brandi Glanville In Beverly Hills

Oh the holidays. A time to reflect on all we are thankful for. And I suppose I'm thankful for all the crazies reality TV brings to my life. Better them than me, right?! It's also a time for the joy of giving. And reality stars have given us so much. So, so much insanity! 

In order to show our appreciation to the fabulous famewhores who give our TVs life, we decided to promote some of the products they ceaselessly churn out!

Here's our 2013 reality TV gift guide.  

Above, Brandi Glanville goes shopping at Kyle Richards' Kaftan Emporium! Splits sold separately. 



Phaedra Sparks Taser: Everybody knows Phaedra Parks doesn't just do restraining orders! And when you have a deposed beauty queen on bathsalts coming for you like she sent for you, sometimes a lady needs to act fast! And that's where Phaedra Sparks Tasers come into play. Hopefully the end result isn't anyone in need of a Phunerals by Phaedra! [Photo Credit: BravoTV.com]


Backdoor Teen Mom: The perfect gift for someone you hate! If you really want to get up close and personal with a reality star – look no further than Farrah Abraham's newest reality performance. Talk about a stocking stuffer… 

Screen Shot 2013-11-27 at 3.04.12 PM

12 Months Of Joanna Krupa! If you really just can't get enough Joanna in Real Housewives of Miami's off-season be sure to pick up her new wall calendar. On the plus side, the proceeds benefit animal rights. [Photo Credit: Instagram]


Duck The Halls: A Robertson Family Christmas: There's no denying that viewers are crazy for Duck Dynasty! And it's nice to have a reality TV product that's family friendly and festive. I guess I'm not the only one who thinks so, since the newest Robertson family album is topping the charts

Deitrick Haddon-album

Deitrick Haddon's New Album: Speaking of uplifting music, Preachers of LA star Deitrick Haddon's newest album R.E.D.: Restoring Everything Damaged is making its way up the gospel charts!  


Jersey Orange Glow: Snooki is branding herself into a mini-mogul befitting of Jessica Simpson. The Snooki & JWoww star recently released a line of ultra dark tanning lotions to get your inner guidette on. [Photo Credit: MTV]


Pukey Pink Platforms: Everyone's favorite fauxlita, Courtney Stodden is trying to capitalize on her much discussed image. She teamed up with Primo Fashion, a British company, to launch her own shoe collection. If Barbie were on crack she might wear these. And for $500 these craft store atrocities can be yours! These shoes were made for walkin'… walking out on your hubby! [Photo Credit: Primo]

melissa book

Secrets Of A Hot & Happy Marriage: Wanna know what makes the Gorga marriage so porntastic? Well Melissa Gorga is happy to dispense some advice in her book Love Italian Style! Although some of that advice you might want to think twice about taking… 



Weave Housewives Of Atlanta: Everybody knows Kenya Moore likes what other people have… and hair extensions are no exception! Both Kenya and rival Porsha Stewart released their own collection of hair weaves this year. Porsha with Naked Hair and Kenya with Moore Hair. Maybe next Krayonce can market a line of contacts and implants, which according to her landlord describes her to a tee! [Photo Credits: Instagram]


Work It Out By Bravo: It's too bad Bravo doesn't come out with a line of self-help books or psych drugs, but instead many of the networks stars prefer to channel their crazy with self-promotion and exercise. Apparently abandoning plans to create a sweater line, Vanderpump Rules doofus Jax Taylor is embarking upon the fitness universe with a new app for Jax Taylor Fitness. Well, Stassi should approve of him getting a job at least! [Photo Credit: Instagram]


Ghalichi Scam Glam: She's cornered the market on false eyelashes and now Lilly Ghalichi is marketing hair extensions. Because the reality TV universe doesn't have enough of those (see above!). Quick question: If I buy them will I look like a poodle crossed with Dolly Parton circa 1985 too? [Photo Credit: Instagram]


Enlightened Reading: Ready for an untraditional reality TV product that takes actual creativity? Big Rich Texas star Bonnie Blossman is both a PhD and an author (and now a grandma!). Her collection of Fiona Frost novels still continue to get great reviews and she also has an autobiography From GED to PhD. I'll buy… 


Rhinestone Water: Everyone needs a little sparkle in their life – especially in their H20, just ask Asa Soultan! Yes, Diamond Water is ready to ship. Drink up, kids! [Photo Credit: Instagram]

adrienne maloof

Razzle And Dazzle: First it was hair tinsel, and now it's neck tinsel. That's right Adrienne Maloof is the product marketeer that just won't quit. She just released Gypsy Jewelry if someone in your life really likes to tack it on Vegas style! [Photo Credit: David Buchan/Getty Images]


Painted Lady: Jeff Lewis remains one of my all-time favorite reality stars. The Flipping Out guru recently released Jeff Lewis Color a line of paint that matches his esthetic and is truly gorgeous. It's the perfect suggestive hint, hint gift for your honey and his or her "Honey Do…" lists! [Photo Credit: Instagram]

And as a bonus, here's a product I think a reality TV star needs to come out with. Kim Zolciak Biermann birth control! Or at the very least some kind of chic labor and delivery gown… 

[Photo Credit: Winston Burris/WENN.com]