tom sandoval and ariana madix confront annemarie

For some odd reason Ariana Madix‘s blog isn’t posted on Bravo. Is it because in it the Vanderpump Rules star explains what really went on between Tom Sandoval and “Miami Girl” Annemarie Kunkel?

Tom was a guest on WWHL last Monday, where he proclaimed Bravo omitted much of the Miami story and didn’t give the behind-the-scenes details, Andy Cohen didn’t deny anything Tom said, and according to Ariana there were many, many things viewers weren’t privy too! Of course, the couple understands Bravo has a story to tell, and can’t include everything, but that doesn’t mean she has to keep quiet about it! 

Thankfully Ariana wrote a very illuminating blog which she posted to her Tumblr where she snarks at Lisa Vanderpump, explains what we missed, and throws Kristen Doute some serious shade! 


“Where, oh where, to begin?” writes Ariana. “Maybe I will start from my conversation with Lisa and move backwards. I find it a bit frustrating that my employer is making statements about me and Tom on a personal level. Sure, we have both worked for Lisa for years, but her knowledge of who we are outside work is extremely limited.”

“I couldn’t help but wonder where Lisa got the idea that Tom is a ‘charming devil’ (or whatever she said). I have known Tom for four years now and for the first three of those years when we were just friends, we certainly never had any need or desire to impress one another or put on any kind of act,” Ariana maintains.

“I have never felt it appropriate to use the word ‘charming’ to describe him.” On that note I fully agree, charming Tom is not – ridiculous, yes, but charming, no.  Ariana goes on to sing his “goofy, smart, oddball” praises. 

Ariana takes offense to the idea that Lisa, or anyone else, would believe she is blinded by love and charmed into overlooking the fact that Tom may have cheated or is taking advantage of her. “The idea that somehow he has ‘charmed’ me into some sort of stupid sheep is unfathomable,” she laments. “This whole ‘love is blind’ thing is a concept that I have never understood nor subscribed to in my life.”

Ariana describes herself as logical and while she is an actress, she’s also like a math genYUS y’all, which is why she is sooo too smart to fall for any of Tom’s BS! (Maybe.) She insists she approaches situations in life with the “same mental approach” that one would a math equation – with logic and fact! And the fact is, Miami Girl‘s story, just doesn’t add up!

Which is why Ariana deduced that she should leave SUR immediately when Annemarie showed up and not entertain the shenanigans of a loon. 

“Discretely leaving Sur was the best thing we could have done in that moment. I refuse to lose my job over petty dramatics or be a participant in this game,” Ariana emphatically states. “Does anyone really think that Tom should have stood there in the middle of the lounge with customers present and be a part of a disgusting screaming match with those girls? I would hope not.”

Then Ariana goes on to explain, all the ways Kristen and MG’s stories are messier than her plastic surgery. Here’s some logic and fact: Don’t by lip-plants from Groupon, kids! #CallDrDrubrow 

Says Ariana, “Below is a list of things that were said and the facts that refute those things”:

“We talked for 7 hours”– I would really love to know how talking to someone for that long, or at all, would be physically possible if Tom was on the phone with me multiple times for prolonged periods throughout the night in question.

Not only that, but during said conversations Tom described to me these three girls who were fans of the show who seemed to be asking a lot of questions about it and creeping him out. Tom is a very nice and welcoming person so, when he is expressing discomfort at someone’s presence in the group, you know he isn’t kidding.

“He held my hand”– The only reason the three guys were in Miami was because they were doing paid club appearances. Therefore, they were advertised and overtly informed people where they would be at all times. People came to see them, meet them, and take photos.

Again, please explain to me how this would have happened and it would be plausible that there would be no photos or recounts of this from anyone else. Also, wouldn’t Tom have to be as brain-dead as a piece of plywood to do that? She really should have considered these things before she started all of these lies. At least pepper your story with details that are believable.

“I found her on social media”– This all began when this story was sold to a tabloid for monetary compensation. Upon first hearing of it, I immediately saw multiple red flags and contradictions to what I know to be true based on many factors.

Not only did she admit that she sold it and her reasons for doing so (Jax was holding her laptop until she and her friend paid him back for items they charged on his card and she was vewwy vewwy mad about it), but her story has warped at least a handful of times since its original print version.

“He’s still in love with Kristen– LOL

“’It’ fits the description”– Oh, let me guess, Tom’s penis is shaped like a penis? This actually might have been a good one if we weren’t fully aware that Kristen and this girl talked for months about this or if Tom had any kind distinct penile attribute. Author’s Note: I thought it was 4″ and shaved? That’s not distinct – Ariana is a more worldly woman than me! 

Supplemental item #1– My brother went on this trip with them. It was actually really cool to see and hear him and Tom begin a friendship that has truly blossomed from there. Author’s Note, Again: Guess it makes sense that if Ariana’s brother was there and Tom was spending all night talking on the beach to some girl about how much he loved Kristen, Ariana’s brother would fill her in. It’s Bro-code, yo! 

Supplemental item #2– The night this all happened at Sur, Tom and I were in the back parking lot chatting before we left. Around the corner comes an extremely irate Miami girl. Plain as day, she shouted “This isn’t how Kristen promised it would be!” 

Can I please rest my case?

Miami Girl – taking Kristen’s word for anything BIG mistake – HUGE! 

“Despite all of this, people will say whatever they want to say. They always have and they always will. I have done what is in my power to shed light on these allegations, but I do not preside over the court of public opinion,” concludes Ariana on the matter of Miami and how it pertains to Tom’s penis.  

However, Ariana does have to, once again, defend her friendship with Scheana Marie. “I thank Scheana for speaking up about the whole thing. I hope she sees now that I am not only happy and in love, but that I don’t have any reason not to trust Tom.”

As for whether or not she believes Tom will cheat on her, Ariana claims she has no reason to doubt him. “He has always made sure that I don’t have to play guessing games or wonder for a moment what the truth is.”

“We all have a past. We all have previous relationships. We have all made mistakes in our lives,” reminds Ariana. “Tom has learned from his past mistakes (as have I), and never have I experienced a relationship that is so solid, open, and loving. I try every day to treat Tom with the same love and respect he has shown me. We have all heard that true love is rare and hard to find. We are so lucky to be able to experience that with each other.” 

Well, hey – congrats you two on finding love where one would least expect to: on reality TV. At a bar covered with Jax’s [alleged] STDs.

I do have one quick question: who brings their laptop to a bar?! Annemarie, among the many things you’ve done, makes the least sense. 


[Photo Credit: Bravo]