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Real Housewives of Dallas recap

It’s Halloween time on The Real Housewives of Dallas and things get more scary than usual. A woman walks around in the nude painted as a tiger, a one horned devil roams Dallas, and an old friendship is resurrected from the dead.

Stephanie Hollman plots revenge on her husband Travis Hollman since he spent $5 mill on a house she didn’t approve of. She recruits a party planner, creates a signature drink, and green lights a “chandelier graveyard” running between $15-20k. Casual. With a theme of bad romance, Stephanie teases a glamorous, scary, and dark affair at her big ol’ mansion. While Stephanie writes out a blank check for her party, Cary Deuber is home with her young daughter Zuri, cooking and baking. Mark Deuber is impossible – looking for his glass of wine that isn’t waiting for him. Surely a home cooked meal will make up for it? No. He makes it a point to acknowledge it’s a not a big dinner, but luckily he ate a late lunch. [Insert eye roll gif of Court Westcott listening to his wife Kameron Westcott.]

Speaking of those two, Kameron, Court, and little Hilton are on their way to the most authentic Mexican ‘restaurante’ in Dallas. We wish were as excited as Kameron to hear Hilton converse in this Espanol only restaurant. Hilton does all the work by ordering in Spanish. Court, who’s over this dinner before it begins, backs out of attending the Hollman Halloween Party. These two don’t appear to have much in common. Kameron relieves her daughter of her Spanish speaking duties to play with some stickers. Cut to: Court rolling his eyes deep into this head. He can’t even stomach the mention of pink dog food. Insert: another eye roll. “This is a business”, Kameron stresses. He instructs her to find other investors – he has no time for this.

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At lunch, Brandi Redmond and LeeAnne Locken bond over their boots. They both got an invite to the Halloween party; neither has bothered to RSVP yet. LeeAnne remains confused by Stephanie, calling her two faced. Brandi says she’ll have a sit down with Stephanie tomorrow but appears optimistic. She’s still very hurt that Stephanie talked about her family and put her new celebrity society life first. She cannot understand how Stephanie has no clue what she did.

Across town, we’re still learning more about D’Andra Simmons. Today’s lesson: D’Andra and Jeremy met in D.C. on a business trip. If you ask Mama Dee Simmons, Jeremy didn’t give the best first impression by being clingy and overly affectionate at the dinner table. Dee must have had flames in her eyes at the mere sight of PDA. Simply unacceptable behavior.

Lesson 2 in D’Andra 101She’s taken on the role of step mom to 18 and 21 year old boys. Jeremy’s oldest son, Keatin, is restarting his life in Dallas. D’Andra fears being viewed as “the other woman” to her step sons. Both she and Jeremy want to keep Keatin busy as he figures out the next step in life. D’Andra tries to excite him by recruiting him to sell her clothes on eBay. Keatin seems respectful of D’Andra and agrees to help. He probably can’t wait to get started! Not.

Stephanie is on her way to Brandi’s house for the big sit down.  This seems to be a legitimate falling out between longtime friends, so the stakes seem higher than past housewives “one on ones.” It’s all very real; the two are emotional, raw, and exposed.

Brandi admits to not being a good communicator and says it started with petty things like the incident on Father’s Day when she overheard Steph tell her husband to hang out with “your friends.” Brandi says she’s seen a lot of changes and thinks Stephanie didn’t want to be associated with her. [We’re treated to an amazing classic flashback of LeeAnne warning Stephanie that her charity world is going down the toilet because of the red headed mimicker!!] Brandi says she felt dismissed by Stephanie and was upset by the negative comments to the public about her marriage in her Bravo Blog. Of course they didn’t’ say “Bravo Blog” but we’ve seen the screen shot about three times now. At this point, it’s all but obvious that THE SHOW was what caused the split. These women seem to be talking in circles to avoid referencing the show, newfound fame, and the media attention that changed their dynamic.

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Stephanie owns up to what she wrote in her blog, saying it is how she honestly felt. She makes a good point, telling Brandi that she should have said something when the post was made. Brandi breaks down at the mention of Cary, and the “ride or die” Instagram posts just about breaks her. Stephanie keeps it together and apologizes but doesn’t miss the opportunity to say she felt thrown away like a piece of trash. She asks Brandi to take ownership for icing her out and blocking her on social media. Brandi admits she only did that to see if Stephanie valued the friendship. Counterpoint: Steph says she called her 9 times and sent a million text messages, she valued it.

The next order of business was the issue of Brandi’s kids being asked to leave their private school (more fallout from season one antics). Apparently a local news station said Stephanie confirmed that Brandi’s kids were thrown out in an exclusive report. Stephanie claims the reporter already knew that and was using her for information. After Brandi owns up to trying to hurt Stephanie the two apologize and totally break down. Immediately, a bodily function joke is made about snot and there you have it folks, the friendship is officially on the mend. Side Note: This may be the first scene these ladies shared together where they didn’t discuss poop, and that’s a win for us, too.

Just when you think everything has been put on the table, Brandi reveals she suffered a miscarriage and her husband is not talking about it. This explains a lot. No wonder Brandi appeared to have lost some of her light. The way Stephanie looks at Brandi with sadness in her eyes is one of the realest moments on Bravo amongst both real housewives and REAL friends.

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Onto more important things: D’Andra needs to make room in her closet. Poor Keatin examines her gowns and dresses. One Oscar de la Renta gown (purchased before he died of course) resembles a traffic cone. Who can blame the 21 year old for not knowing the value of each piece? He just about falls over when he hears she spent $18,000.00 on the orange dress, and she CANNOT wear it again. Embarrassed, D’Andra tells her stepson, “Please don’t tell my mother!” The fear of Mama Dee is real people. Keatin questions how she gets away with all these purchases, knowing his father is Mr. Frugal. D’Andra jokes, “sexy time.” Awkward.  

LeeAnne goes back to Elizabeth, her Therapist, to break the news about the upcoming Halloween party at the Hollman’s.  LeeAnne may already be testing out a costume, as her shirt seems to channel the late Colonel Sanders.  She’s concerned that Steph and Brandi made up so quickly and still doesn’t trust Stephanie. The “not nice of LeeAnne” has allowed Stephanie to inspire her costume – Two Face. The Therapist can just about keep her own emotions in check watching LeeAnne act out both sides of her costume. All she can say is, “That I don’t love.” She goes on to warn LeeAnne about the costume, combined with her attitude, anger, drinking, and history could be – LeeAnne fills in the blank – “a recipe for destruction.” This only excites LeeAnne more.

D’Andra and Jeremy gear up for the big Halloween Party. Jeremy is the only person on earth who doesn’t realize D’Andra is going as Monica Lewinsky. Jeremy is Bill Clinton and for whatever reason she hands him a grey wig (he’s already half grey). It looks like they’re going for accuracy because Jeremy asks where she’s going to put the stain. Fear of Mother (again) prevents D’Andra from going the extra step. She takes her husband into the closet to show that her gowns have still not been removed. She’s still waiting on Keatin to complete some research. Unbothered, Jeremy tells his wife she’s doing well as a step mom.

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Off to The Plastic Surgery Channel (who knew this is existed?!), where Mark and Cary are shooting online videos and practice promos. The Promo Director wants to highlight a husband/wife surgeon/nurse combo. Mark glares at Cary, insulted that all she wants to do is yoga. Mark acts like a big baby once again but Cary gets the last word. As they wrap the promo, he complains of a stiff back and she recommends he do some yoga.

The party begins at the Hollman residence and it’s LIT. Literally, with red lights, candles of all shapes and sizes, strobes, and a FULL bar. The outside of Steph’s house looks amazing, but where is the $20k chandler graveyard? Cary and Mark enter as a Tigress and Tiger Trainer. Cary is showing off her yoga body in full body paint and covered nipples. Mark is obsessed. Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton D’Andra and Jeremy enter the big party. Jeremy wishes they decorated. (They’ve got so much stuff all over their house, where would they even fit a pumpkin?)  Brandi and Bryan Redmond enter dressed as Mr. and Mrs. Skeleboner. Kameron arrives in an over the top pink fairy tale gown solo. Last but not least, LeeAnne arrives dressed in FULL “Two-Face Stephanie” attire.

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LeeAnne is so proud to show off her costume to the ladies. Too bad no one is getting it. Brandi suggests entering Kameron into a pageant. They discuss what their talents would be. Kameron would either spin in a gown or go on a shopping spree. Brandi jokes that she’ll put her in a pageant where you don’t need a talent. Uh oh. We’re about to see how sensitive Kameron can be. She fully takes the bait and is instantly insulted. The claws come out as she says in her interview, Brandi has a good potty mouth and she’s “heard” about her gymnastics at a strip club. Welcome to the Real Housewives Kameron.

Mark and LeeAnne, a dynamic duo, have a moment where she’s more than happy to show off her costume for him, including the $75k rhinestone bracelet. Mark picks up who Two Face really is right away. “If anything about Mark, he certainly knows his fashion”, comments LeeAnne. Mark asks Cary if she’ll assist with working things out between LeeAnne and Stephanie. Then, he says he doesn’t want to get involved. He really is Cary’s husband.

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Meanwhile, former Housewife Tiffany Hendra takes a shot of berry tequila dressed as a sexy cop. Word gets to Travis that LeeAnne is telling folks she’s Stephanie, a.k.a Two Face. (We wonder who told him?…Mark…) He contemplates throwing her out. Stephanie immediately tells him not to and to ignore it.

LeeAnne tells Stephanie that she’s confused by her actions. Stephanie isn’t taking the bait and giving her a big reaction. LeeAnne feels the issue is what Stephanie says behind her back and just wants her to say it to her face. Steph admits LeeAnne makes her nervous and is scared of a friendship turning against her. LeeAnne understands that her actions made her feel that way (I guess therapy is working a little) but let’s her know that what she says “spins through Dallas.” Brandi suggests a sit down between the two – LeeAnne is 100% down for it and Stephanie looks like she’s screaming “NOOOOO!” inside.

D’Andra and Kameron are on the sidelines of the party, commentating about the drama they aren’t in. D’Andra finds LeeAnne’s costume choice rude and inappropriate. In her interview, Stephanie admits to being okay with Brandi and LeeAnne’s friendship, but says its “obvious” LeeAnne is up to her old carnival tricks ways and is just waiting for Brandi to catch on. While Travis is still dying to kick out LeeAnne, she and Brandi step outside for a chat. Brandi agreed that while Stephanie is a good person, she felt Stephanie was two faced. LeeAnne expresses her concerns if she’ll lose her alliance with Brandi and if it will revert back to everyone versus LeeAnne.

Next week looks amazing! Dee mans the desk at Ultimate Living, and it looks like she’s pushing D’Andra out of the company. Travis continues to act like an ass. The return of Charity Queen Heidi Dillon (!) and Kameron makes things awkward again with Brandi.

TELL US – THOUGHTS ON THIS WEEK’S EPISODE? Is LeeAnne on the verge of being replaced by Stephanie and on her way to being an outsider again?

For even more Real Housewives and Reality TV Talk, listen to Grants Rants Hollywood Talk Podcast on Apple Podcasts and all major podcasting platforms.

Photo Credit: Bravo TV

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