As Joey Lawrence would say, âWoah!â The second-ever American version of Celebrity Big Brother kicked off last night with the first half of a two-night premiere. The second half airs tonight. It served mainly as an introductory episode: To the house, to the game and to the 12 âcelebritiesâ that will compete for the $250,000 grand prize. I am ecstatic to be bringing you ârecapsâ of Celebrity Big Brother this season and I for one feel like weâre off to a very interesting start!
So why were the words âcelebritiesâ and ârecapsâ put in quotes, you might ask? Well, thatâs because it would be hard not to notice that the 12 contestants this season are not exactlyâŠhow shall I sayâŠhousehold names. How do you know youâre not a celebrity? Well for one, you find yourself competing on Celebrity Big Brother, for a cash grand prize and not for your favorite charity. In the same vein â and much like my Survivor column for this very same outlet â what I plan to bring you this season isnât exactly a blow-by-blow ârecapâ of the show, but rather my thoughts, analysis, and reaction to the episode (or episodes) that we just witnessed. In other words, Iâll assume that youâve seen the episode(s) each time, so please, please, PLEASE, if you do not want to have the show spoiled, donât read any further until youâve seen the episode(s)!
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Before we dive in, I welcome you! In case youâre wondering, this is my first foray into covering any Reality TV show other than SurvivorâŠif youâre not familiar with my work, I say to you kindly: What the heck? Do yourself a favor and start watching Survivor for the love of all that is good and holy! Iâve been covering Survivor professionally since Season 20, almost 10 years now, as the show gears up for its 38th â yes you read that right, 38th â season this February. Coincidentally, Celebrity Big Brotherâs two-hour Finale lands on Wednesday, Feb. 13th, and Survivor: Edge of Extinction Premieres with a two-hour episode the following week, on Wednesday, Feb. 20th. So you might as well just plan to stick with me through May!
Having the Celebrity Big Brother Finale on Feb. 13th also means that the celebrity-edition of the show is greatly condensed when compared to itsâŠumâŠbig brother. CBS is cramming a total of 13 episodes into this season, with FOUR of them airing this week aloneâŠso things will be moving quickly. Stick around to the bottom of this article for some details on how I plan to cover this season, and what you can expect here on Reality Tea.
While those that know me know how deep my passion runs for Survivor (and for its host Jeff ProbstâŠsadly my wife did not allow me to name my first-born after himâŠ). I am also a huge fan of Big Brother, the game. I have followed it avidly since about season 8. So, I guess you canât call me a real âdie-hardâ fan. Still, Iâm definitely above âcasual watcher.â I admit that I completely missed the last season of Celebrity Big Brother. I also confess that, until tonight, I had no idea who roughly half of these current contestants are. Maybe that qualifies me as an objective observer? One thing I can say, is that I know the game inside-and-out, so while I may not be able to pick Jonathan Bennett out of a line-up, I will surely be able to let you know my thoughts on his game-play moving forward.
Whenever talking about Big Brother, one must mention Julie ChenâŠor, Julie Chen Moonves as sheâs known these days. The good oleâ âChen-botâ is just as much a part of Big Brother as Jeff Probst is to Survivor.I usually live to see her scripted intros, and totally stiff exit interviews. Like so much of Big Brother, Julie Chen is a bit corny and seems strangely tuned, just like the game itself. In fact, cheesiness is the life-blood of the show, a virtue that makes casting D-List celebrities to play the game seem like more than a natural fit. Yes, Big Brother is cheesy, dumb and a total guilty pleasure, but thatâs why we love it!
So what stuck out to me, a huge fan of the ânormalâ Big Brother and a layman as to who the heck these people even are? Letâs get into it!
Ryan Lochte. Iâve definitely heard of this 12-time-Olympic-medalist-turned-family-man, but wouldnât have recognized him if I passed him on the street. But he definitely stuck out as one of the players you will probably remember following this first ep. He seemed charismatic and charming. His competitive drive led him to winning the first competition of the season. But his admission that he knows ânothingâ about Big Brother will end up sinking this professional swimmerâs game. Just watch.
Natalie Eva Marie. Who dis? Never heard of her. Sheâs a WWE star? OK, cool story. Six seasons on E!âs âTotal Divasâ show? If you say so. Sheâs a podcaster and has a fashion line? Like, who doesnât? But she won me over when she revealed that she was a huge Big Brother fan. Sheâll be interesting to watch. We know that sheâll be around at least through the first eviction after failing to get pickedâŠbut failing to get picked may conversely be a sign that she is having a hard time making immediate connections in the game.
Tom Green. Hey everyone, itâs Tom Green! I am comfortable enough to admit that I am old enough to remember when âThe Tom Green Showâ was a thing. He has a few skits that still make me chuckle (among my favorites is his bit where he goes around asking serious questions to people on the street, with an actual piece of poo on the tip of the microphone that he holds up to peopleâs facesâŠ) But he already looked to me to be too odd for his own good. He seemed awkward in all of his interactions with others. That is sort of funny to think that he too, like Anthony Scaramucci, was fired by Donald Trump on âThe Apprentice,â although Iâd argue that oneâs firing is a bit more shameful than the others.
Lolo Jones. Funny enough, I only know of Lolo Jones â the three-time Olympic athlete â not as being one of ten people ever to compete in both the Summer and Winter Games, but from a featured piece that was done on her virginity on HBOâs âReal Sports with Bryant Gumbelâ a few years back. I do fear that she will likely be targeted early, not only because some noticed her Olympic connection to Ryan Lochte, but because sheâs intimidating as hellâŠnot just to men but to women as well (didnât mean for that to rhymeâŠ). Sheâs a fierce competitor, sheâs likable and sheâs wholesomeâŠall of which are reasons people get booted off Big Brother all the time.
Kato Kaelin. Of all of the contestants this season, I shake my head most when I think about Mr. Kaelin. He described himself by saying: âNever has a man done so little to be recognized by so many,â and thatâs pretty perfect. Many people donât realize that the Kardashians also became famous stemming from the O.J. Simpson double-murder trial (the girlsâ father Rob Kardashian, was a close friend and attorney to O.J.). Such a horrific event to become a âcelebrityâ off of. Â Not only is Kato shamelessly appearing on Big Brother, but we got several O.J. Simpson jokes to go along with it. Yikes.
Of course, Kato always seemed like a hapless, likable dude, but something still just rubs me the wrong way about his so-called âfame.â Like, because he rented out a room from a murderer, he now gets to compete for a quarter-of-a-million bucks? Weâre literally only a few episodes away from an âIf the Power of Veto necklace doesnât fit, you must acquitâ joke. On National TV. In the year 2019.
Joey Lawrence. This actor andâŠOK, Joey, Iâll biteâŠproducerâŠinstantly became the player Iâm rooting for, if only because he promised us that heâd do his famous catch-phrase if he were to win. That moment alone would make this season amaze-balls. I liked Tom Greenâs admission that he had a Joey Lawrence poster on his wall, in college no less. And if youâre wondering if heâs still considered a heartthrob, just take it from Tamar Braxton, who this episode said about Joey: âHe fine, two times.â But can Joey win Celebrity Big Brother? Gimme a break (heh-heh).
Tamar Braxton. A Grammy-nominated singer/songwriter and the younger sister of Toni Braxton, Tamar also co-starred for 10 seasons on âBraxton Family Values,â a show Iâve never heard of nor care to. She admitted that she was a Big Brother super-fan. She was definitely one of the stand-outs during this first episode. Clearly, sheâs a veteran when it comes to reality-entertainment. Is her personality too bold, too big, to win? I think so.
RELATED: Celebrity Big Brother Cast Announced: Kandi Burruss, Dina Lohan, Ryan Lochte, & More!
Dina Lohan. The self-described OG âMom-ager,â sheâs the mom of Lindsay Lohan and a few other Lohans Iâve never heard of. She seemed like an interesting character to me, one that is obviously strong but one that may not land on many peopleâs radars. I could see Dina being a sneaky-pick to go far in this game.
Jonathan Bennett. The âMean Girlsâ actor and host of The Food Networkâs âCake Wars,â Jonathan won the prize for the best facial expressions during the first episode. He may very well become the first HOH, should he be able to figure out a way to beat Ryan Lochte in the upcoming competition. Jonathan seems like a perfect contestant for this game. He is one that will add to the show as long as heâs on it. I just think that heâs a bit too likable to really be allowed to go all that far. So, I donât see him making it through many HOHs.
Kandi Burruss. She was once in the girl group âXscapeâ and is a star of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I know this because she told me so on TV tonight (sorry, Kandi is another one Iâve never seen or heard of until tonight). She didnât quite do all that well during the first challenge. Plus, her past beef with Tamar will likely make her an early target as well.
RELATED: Kandi Burruss Explains Why She Joined Celebrity Big Brother; Shares Her Strategy
Ricky Williams. Hereâs a tip for Ricky: If youâre trying to change your image as one of the most recognizable potheads the NFL has ever seen, donât go on National TV making jokes about getting high, or reveal to us that you are studying âChinese Medicine.â Yeah, thatâs totally something a pothead wouldnât do. Ricky is a cool dude. He is obviously a good athlete, but he doesnât strike me as having the right drive to win a game like this. If his Celebrity Big Brother career at all resembles his NFL career, heâll be retired way early.
Anthony Scaramucci. Itâs not my place to get political here, so Iâll leave that aside. Letâs just say that âThe Moochâ is a polarizing figure, one that isnât often taken that seriously. Iâm not sure competing on Celebrity Big Brother and swinging badly will help his image much. Will the politics of the other houseguests play into his acceptance and his long-term role in this game? Heâd be smart to keep politics out of it. However,  his pre-game interviews suggested that he plans on talking a lot about it while in the houseâŠis he in it to win it, or is he just there to extend his moment in the spotlight?
Episode Take-Away: Whether these folks are âcelebritiesâ or not, the game of Big Brother is alive and well. We should be in for a fun-filled month of back-stabbing, front-stabbing, back-dooring, front-dooring and if weâre lucky, a visit from OTEV and/or Zingbot. Is it just me or is this cast a bit on the older side? The game has only just begun. Weâll have a much better feel for what weâre in for by this time next week. I for one am looking forward to it!
RELATED: Dina Lohan Dishes On Celebrity Big Brother Strategy, Hookups, & Future Reality TV Shows
Quick Note! I appreciate that you are reading this recap! With the barrage of episodes coming our way, there wonât be a recap following EVERY episode of Celebrity Big Brother. However, you CAN expect a new article following each elimination episode this season. As Julie described tonight, there is a new episode on Tuesday evening (the next competition and HOH meeting). There is new episode on Wednesday (the POV). Then, the first elimination episode of the season will be this FridayâŠthat means you can expect the next article following Fridayâs elimination episode.
The best way to stay in touch and make sure you arenât missing anything is to follow me on Twitter â @tomsantilli â or on Facebook. Those that have followed me also know that I am a RottenTomatoes-approved film critic, and I encourage you to check out my weekly movie reviews as I am also the national film critic for AXS.com and am a movie critic/TV personality in the Detroit area.
We will be back following Fridayâs episode! Thanks for joining me this season, now letâs talk Celebrity Big Brother!
TELL US â WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER PREMIERE EPISODE? WHO ARE YOU ROOTING FOR TO WIN CELEBRITY BIG Â BROTHER? WHO ARE YOU ROOTING AGAINST?
[Photo Credit: CBS/Monty Brinton/Mary Kouw â CBS ©2019 CBS Broadcasting, Inc. All Rights Reserved]