Do you think Craig Conover is still recovering from the hot dog assault on last week’s episode of Southern Charm? You would think he’d have learned by now how thick his skin needs to be if he’s going to be friends with Shep Rose and Whitney Sudler-Smith! While the boys continue their ill-fated road trip to get Austen Kroll’s mind off of Madison LeCroy, the ladies have their own agenda. Chelsea Meissner joins Danni Baird at the doctor for some egg freezing fun, and Patricia Altschul hosts the gals for a dinner party where the forgiveness is served with a side of Kathryn Dennis eye rolls. And those are just the highlights…what a time to be a Charmer!
The show begins with the boys readying for the drive to Nashville, but the awkwardness between Shep, Whitney, and Craig is palpable. Austen is silently peeved at Shep’s attempt to sweep the previous night’s nastiness under the rug. He believes it’s a pattern with Shep. Later that evening, the guys arrive at their Nashville hotel, and Shep is already planning the evening’s after party. As Craig preens, Whitney sanitizes the room in a way that would make Lisa Rinna proud. Shep has shaved his beard to a goatee. It’s not a good look. Austen receives a hot pic from Madison, and his friends are quick to remind him that this is the exact reason they aren’t together. She’s manipulating him.
Back in Charleston, Chelsea is joining Danni at an OBGYN appointment so Danni can learn more about egg freezing. Danni shares that she hasn’t spoken to Kathryn since their last outburst, but Chelsea finds Kathryn’s behavior of late to be extremely petty. Danni’s doctor discusses the process for egg freezing and retrieval, and let’s not forget the pricing and the egg quality. Chelsea is all in for Danni to be the guinea pig in this arena.
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The guys head to dinner, and Shep challenges Austen and Craig to pick a bottle of wine while he and Whitney pick the second bottle. Shep and Whitney rag on Craig’s choice and needle Craig about his subpar (to theirs) wine knowledge. Craig is able to divert the conversation by providing a Google update in Kathryn and Thomas Ravenel’s heated custody battle. Craig asks Whitney about Kathryn’s mindset when they were hooking up over the summer, but Whitney denies any dalliances. Shep has Whitney’s back, and both Craig and Austen are shocked at this turn of events. Craig accuses them of sabotaging the dinner as the waitress runs to avoid the discomfort.
Craig and Austen retreat to the restaurant’s patio to complain about how crappy Shep is acting. Inside, Shep and Whitney droll on and on about how entitled Craig is. Both conversations are beyond ridiculous, but if I have to pick a better pair, it’s Austen and Craig.
Back in Charleston, Patricia and butler Michael are dressing one of her dogs and sharing the pros of a girls’ dinner. While she’s normally hosted gentlemen’s events in the past, it’s the time of the Me Too movement. The ladies deserve a chance to be ostracized and judged by her too.
After the tense Nashville dinner, the boys go bar hopping. They are hoping to entice drunk girls back to their baller hotel suite, and sadly it’s working because who doesn’t want to be on a reality television show? Austen is quickly angered because he feels like every girl he shows an interest in automatically lands on Shep’s radar. Isn’t this supposed to be the trip that helps him find fresh meat? When Austen is finally allowed to flirt with no distractions, it occurs to him that he still loves Madison. This trip is big ol’ flop for many reasons, amirite? The following morning, a crew of hungover middle-aged men is packing to head back to Charleston after a lackluster party in their suite. If there isn’t much footage, it must not have been all that.
Naomie Olindo is attempting to cook Indian food for her new beau Metul Shah. He teases her for ineptitude, and I think we’re all just pleased she has a storyline. She loves Metul. He’s the best thing that ever happened to her. This meal needs to be perfect, but he’s perfect because he doesn’t care about her cuisine’s end game. He’s just happy to be with her. Can we clone Metul?
Across town, Kathryn is at her pricey pad when Chelsea stops by to clarify a chat Kathryn overheard at Craig’s pillow party. Kathryn feels like she was attacked by Danni, and she’s disappointed by the rift in their friendship. Chelsea tactfully defends Danni, reminding Kathryn that Danni has been there through thick and thin. Kathryn reluctantly agrees, but she was hurt by Danni’s initial approach. This relationship can be salvaged.
Patricia is prepping for her all-lady dinner party. Michael opens the door and serves cocktails, as Patricia gets the dirt on Naomie’s new man. The tension between Danni and Patricia’s hairdresser Madison is palpable, and Ms. Pat is quick to remind Chelsea of her heart-to-heart with Austen at Craig’s pillow party. Madison and Danni are not quite on friendly terms, but Patricia intervenes with a very believable excuse as to why Madison was Instagram messaging Danni’s boyfriend. The girls follow the dame’s lead and squash any beef, but you know Danni really wants to wring Madison’s neck. The chatter quickly turns to Kathryn, who is running late. Has anyone seen her latest senator dude’s NSFW pictures that are circulating the Internet? Madison equates Kathryn’s boyfriend to a Ken doll, calling it a man-gina. Cameran Eubanks is floored by this revelation, but at least it’s some screentime for her!
Kathryn arrives at the dinner party, and Patricia dives deep on questions regarding her flavor of the month. Kathryn admits that she’s thankful their relationship has ended, and she pulls Danni aside for a mea culpa. Danni is honest with her disappointments about her friendship with Kathryn, and Kathryn is quick to apologize and ask for forgiveness. The pair giggles and quickly makes amends.
Pat seats her guests with napkins once owned by the King of Bavaria. She provides her guests with the proper etiquette for finger bowls and approaching artichokes. They school Patricia on shot-taking, and as a good hostess, she obliges. With liquid courage, Madison admits that she is torn over her break-up with Austen and Shep’s intervening nastiness. Naomie is disgusted, but Cameran slightly comes to his defense. Madison casually mentions that she thinks Shep dislikes her because she declined his advances when she was married. Sounds about right!
The gossip shifts to Patricia’s will…who is going to get her amazing place settings? Cameran reminds the group that Kathryn may be a beneficiary to Pat’s estate if the hook-up rumors with Whitney are true. Patricia giggles that she has heard the whispers and she’d be thrilled to have Kathryn as a daughter-in-law if the chitchat is true. What a difference a year makes! As fertile as Kathryn is, Pat would be guaranteed a grandchild!
Back from Nashville, Shep is ready to adopt a new puppy he’s already named Craig. He already owns his friend Craig, so why not own two Craigs? At the pet store, he stocks up on the things dog Craig (not to be confused with human Craig) will need. That poor pooch. Meanwhile, human Craig and Austen are recapping their RV trip to Kathryn over coffee. They tell Kathryn that Whitney is totally denying their hook-up. She finds it humorous considering Whitney’s mom was joking with her about it.
Craig complains about Shep’s crappy attitude, and Austen brings the receipts. Kathryn is not impressed with her pal Shep’s behavior. Austen admits that he and Madison have been spending time together since returning from Nashville, and Craig finds it deplorable that his friend has fallen back into this relationship. It’s crazy how Austen and Craig were just such allies, but this news changes the dynamic entirely.
TELL US- WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S SOUTHERN CHARM EPISODE? ARE THE GUYS WORSE OFFENDERS THAN THE GIRLS WHEN IT COMES TO BEING CRAPPY FRIENDS?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]