Former Summer House roommate and future eternal podcast host Hannah Berner is speaking on leaving the Bravo show after three seasons. While we search for fellow cast members and/or viewers distraught with this decision, Hannah has been doing mad press tours in anticipation of her wildly successful comedy career.
Hannah was a breath of fresh air when she joined the crew, then the air was sucked out of the room by delusion and viewers were left with a lot of crying in the supine position. After a “relationship” with a fellow cast member was a lot different in real life than it was in her head, Hannah didn’t handle it well and created an alternative reality no one wanted to live in. Until she met her fiancé, that is. Now Hannah says she’s a big girl and outgrew the Summer House histrionics, which is good because she wasn’t asked to return anyway.
Hannah went from being fun to decidedly not fun and her fall from grace was quick and effortless. In a little under two seasons, Hannah’s “relatable female” schtick morphed into “oh honey, no“. Hannah found herself in an unfortunate position when roommate and kissy-face dude Luke Gulbranson didn’t get down on one knee and propose after he literally doing everything in the He’s Just Not That Into You handbook.
Thankfully Hannah’s love life took a turn when some older dude messaged her on social media. After a brief courtship, Hannah and Des Bishop got engaged and now she says her relationship is too precious to share on national television. Ugh, our loss, amirite? Don’t worry about Hannah though, according to Us Weekly she’s “outgrown” Summer House.
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She said, “When you have a real, real, real relationship, it is very difficult to be on reality TV with them, especially when it’s not a show about you two and it’s an ensemble cast”. Uh-huh. I’m not sure if she was trying to drop a hint there, but on behalf of every network with current programming on television, there is no executive alive who will consider a reality show featuring Hannah and Kyle Cooke.
Hannah added, “Because everyone has their own motives and stuff, and I don’t think it’s worth putting my relationship on the line”. You… you mean no more segments featuring Hannah eating in bed? No more segments featuring Hannah complaining in bed? My god, the inhumanity of it all. Don’t forget, it’s a REAL, REAL, REAL relationship this time you guys, not one in her head. After her failure with Luke, we all learned why Dora the Explorer excessively makes sure the kids understand what’s going on around them.
Fortunately, Des is different. Hannah explained, “I’ve never dated a guy in his 40s, but he’s someone who is so wise”. Honey, that’s not wise, that’s women who know better not wanting anything to do with him.
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She continued, “He’s been through so much. And he has a confidence in himself that I think really makes it easy for me to feel like I can be anything I want to be. And he’s so supportive while also inspiring me with his own career.” Dang, who is she trying to convince, us or herself? When Hannah originally announced her departure from Summer House, she said it was due to her burgeoning stand-up comedy career, which I assume is separate from her current gig of allegedly swiping other people’s funny sayings on Twitter.
Not a lot of great things came out of 2020, but Hannah’s
firing engagement was certainly one of them. Hopefully she has a long, happy relationship with Des and looks forward to many years of telling people she plays tennis and subjecting the general public to her crazy, cool girl comic genius. Still-employed Summer House residents were not unavailable for comment because they are entering stage 5 of the celebrating grieving process.
RELATED: Summer House Star Luke Gulbranson Says Hannah Berner Never Apologized For Making Fun Of His Suicidal Ideations; Hannah Says She Said Sorry To Luke And His Mom Last Year
TELL US- WILL DES AND HANNAH MAKE IT TO THE ALTAR? WILL HANNAH TRY TO COME BACK IF THEY BREAK UP? WILL YOU MISS HANNAH?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]