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Thomas Ravenel & Ashley Jacobs Engagement Rumors

In today’s era of scandal, the most important one to follow is what exactly is going on with Thomas Ravenel and Ashley Jacobs. Are they fake together, are they fake broken up, are they even real people, or is this an optical illusion of what happens when you consume too much bourbon? Whatever the case, it appears Thomas and Ashley celebrated something together this weekend that may or may not have been an engagement, or at least that’s what they want us to believe!

By now you all know that Thomas quit Southern Charm (aka was possibly fired in the wake of his sexual assault investigation) and is feuding with Whitney and Pat. They think he’s scum; he thinks they lied to make him look bad. We also know that Kathryn Dennis now has 50/50 custody of their children and has banned Ashley from being around them. Rightfully so!

Jeff Lewis & Jenni Pulos

Oh. Dear. Jenni Pulos hasn’t just left the Jeff Lewis empire, she potentially annihilated it! Pretty good last laugh for the woman who is essentially responsible for pitching the show that lead to Jeff becoming household name. The fighting between Jeff and Jenni has definitely gotten nasty in the past, but never bad enough to involve the authorities! 

First of all, Jeff says Bravo has cleared him of “all abuse charges,” but as a result of Jenni’s allegations, he’s still concerned about the future of Jeff Lewis Design and Flipping Out. Jeff confirms Jenni will no longer be returning to the show after this season, and worries that he may be facing the same fate. “Her making this claim, it put my entire career in jeopardy,” says Jeff. “My family, my livelihood, everything!”

Real Housewives Of Dallas in Beaver Creek

Peace, love, and ice cold hearts? On last night’s Real Housewives Of Dallas Beaver Creek continued to offer up its many splendored dramas and arguments, but this time the only thing that got naked was D’Andra Simmons‘s foot! Kameron Westcott is OK with podiatry nudity – after all one has to get pedicures!

It’s a crisp, sunny morning in Beaver Creek and it’s as if the previous night of arguing over bashing over Brandi Redmond‘s baby Bruin never happened. At all. Freshly fallen snow has wipeth clean the slate and painted it as white as Kameron’s undead skin. Well, kinda. In actuality, everyone blames their lack of sanity on high altitude and high alcohol content.

But at least Kameron didn’t stage an insurrection to forcibly throw Stephanie Hollman from her house, leaving her to trudge to the PJ platform in nothing more than striped PJ’s like a common criminal. Although Kam’s feelings are still hurt. After all, why wasn’t she inner-circle enough to know about Brandi’s baby? Um, probably because, as D’Andra later points out, because Kam doesn’t even like Brandi or Stephanie! Kameron essentially only tolerates Stephanie because Travis is wealthy and influential. Which is probably what Kameron considers the basis of an everlasting friendship anyway…

Lala Kent & Randall Emmett

Lala Kent had a better Labor Day Weekend than the most of us did because she got engaged to Randall Emmett with a surprise birthday proposal and 6 karat diamond ring.

It turns out Randall has been planning the Vanderpump Rules star’s ring for months. Jeweler Richie Rich says he worked with Randall to design the ring which took “about 14 days to create” and cost $150,000k! Um, … somewhere Scheana Marie is shitting her she-pants. 

Below Deck Mediterranean season 3 finale

It was the last charter and the season finale episode of Below Deck Mediterranean. I’m pooped of writing about the poop deck dramas of the Motor Yacht Talisman (I am also not too mature for poop jokes!). Everyone is moving on from the pettiness, squabbles, and bad vibes expect for Hannah Ferrier, who is just as ready as ever to make people’s lives miserable. Conrad Empson sure rues the day he ever got clobbered by a cougar!

The finale episode was truly all about playing games with Hannah. From musical chairs, to hide and seek, and finally battleship. The most shocking development though was realizing that Conrad and Hannah had never had sex! Do we believe them? It’s kind of cutely high school…

Anyway, we gotta also talk about Joao Franco admitting to Kasey Cohen that if she’d been the one sitting next to him during Hannah’s birthday, she’d also be the one he’d currently be screwing over instead of Brooke Laughton. Now Joao understands it was fate’s way of looking out for him. Joao mansplains, “When I kissed Brooke it all made sense…,”  but I don’t want to talk to another girl too long, because it might stop making sense in my penile brain, then I might convenience kiss somebody else. Someone else like Kasey. This logic is like watching The Notebook in lieu of getting counseling for co-dependency, and then, even worse, believing this is how mature relationships work. And I am mature, so I should know! 

Cary Deuber

Cary Deuber has decided the best way to avoid Real Housewives Of Dallas drama is to be brutally honest to everyone and not hold back. She admitted to D’Andra Simmons that she tattled to Brandi Redmond about the Adderall rumors, she called Kameron Westcott out for being melodramatic over the secret baby reveal. I guess you could say Cary’s conscience is as clear as the body is naked in a hot tub!

“And so it is with these girls; a lot of fun, but then so much work…” Cary begins her Bravo blog

D'Andra Defends Herself

D’Andra Simmons is tired of talking about alleged Adderall abuse and secret baby reveals, and she is adamant that she never lied to Brandi Redmond!

Just like D’Andra didn’t want to discuss old dramas at her anniversary party, the Real Housewives Of Dallas star didn’t think Brandi’s baby reveal was the time or place either.

“After that sweet reveal with the Redmond family and Baby Bruin, it felt like a bit of a ‘buzz kill’ to have that conversation with Brandi Redmond…again. I understood Brandi’s need to clear the air, and I honestly wanted it cleared as well.” D’Andra just thought it could’ve been done “over a cup of coffee” rather than at a family gathering. Again.

Kameron Westcott

Beautiful wilderness and a 5-star ski resort, a private plane, endless champagne, a group of tight-knit friends ready to put their problems behind them… Oh wait, WHOOPS – not that! What can go wrong when you take the Real Housewives Of Dallas to Beaver Creek? Also, this episode was sponsored by the Letter B, the color Blush, and the number 4 – for all the naughty things Kameron Westcott doesn’t do because she’s a square.

All the beaver action began at Brandi Redmond‘s top-secret baby shower for Bruin. After Stephanie Hollman misled Kameron by making her believe they were celebrating Stephanie’s surrogate, here appeared America’s favorite ginger family presenting a mystery baby. Kameron is stupefied. Like where’s the surrogate? Did she give birth upstairs during the party? Is Brandi a stork? Like why wasn’t she told? Like, why isn’t SHE the center of the BS (Brandi/Stephanie) universe?