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Brett Caprioni

James Kennedy - Vanderpump Rules

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve missed watching James Kennedy on this season of Vanderpump Rules. Instead of his antics, we’ve been bombarded by Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright’s pre-wedding activities, Kristen Doute’s feud with Stassi Schroeder and Katie Maloney, and the 13,534 new additions to the cast.

However, James makes his return tonight, and it’s far from triumphant. Lisa Vanderpump suspects that James had been drinking again, which he probably was. He also gets in a fight with his girlfriend Raquel Leviss. Yes, she’s a cast member now too.

Kristen Doute Vanderpump Rules

When Vanderpump Rules first catapulted into the Bravo lexicon the appeal was that was its off the cuff and unpredictable cast members whose earnestly dysfunctional relationships anchored the show, and served as a highlight to all the other nonsense.

There was a magic in its untested authenticity that was like the early seasons of Real World or Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. Before these people realized they were going to become a phenomenon just for showing up. But alas it is now not the case. Lisa Vanderpump has now assumed the role of part Svengali/part David Copperfield; trying to make magic out of thin air and airheads.

It’s not working.

James Kennedy

The bachelor/bachelorette party “fun” continues tonight on Vanderpump Rules; i.e. the cast will continue to get drunk and argue in Miami.

The guys dress up as old men because, well, Tom Sandoval coordinated this party and it’s hilarious.

Brittany Cartwright Vanderpump Rules

You guys… I’m losing my patience with Vanderpump Rules. I know, I know – it’s only like the 4th episode, but it’s the 8th (EIGHTH) season of the same drama, with the same cast members largely forced together for the sake of the show.

Would Ariana Madix and Stassi Schroeder have spoken to each other in the last 5 years, let alone still have something to argue about, if it weren’t for this show? Nope, not at all. In fact Stassi likely would’ve moved somewhere else, save for being on TV. Would Kristen Doute still be lurking around, carrying her cloud of dingy destruction, after sleeping with Stassi’s then-boyfriend Jax Taylor, then sleeping with Jax’s now fiancé, Brittany Cartwright? No, absolutely not.

Would Scheana Marie still be working as a waitress at SUR, sexually harassing post-adolescent boys, if it weren’t for Vanderpump Rules? Well, yeah probably. Would Tom 2 and Katie Maloney have gotten married? Not likely. But here we are celebrating the momentous occassion of Jax having been on reality TV for so long that he’s run out of storylines and the only sensational thing that remains is getting married. It’s a sad way to fizzle into obscurity for the man who kept up a lie about sleeping with his girlfriend’s best friend with a woman who happened to be the girlfriend of his best friend, and doing this on the sofa while the boyfriend/bestie was in the next room, passed out. Twice.

Scheana Marie Vanderpump Rules

I felt some major secondhand embarrassment when Scheana Marie crashed boys night to talk with Max Boyens during the last Vanderpump Rules episode. First, she showed up at the restaurant to nonchalantly talk to Max while he was working at the bar. However, he wasn’t even there, and Scheana’s intention to casually talk to him didn’t not pan out.

Then, she texted him about her desire to clear the air after he referred to Scheana as “boy crazy” during the season premiere episode. Max read her texts out loud to the guys to seem cool. Production even showed some screenshots from the conversation to just twist that knife in a little bit further (they didn’t show any of Max’s responses). Moreover, that’s not the whole story. Scheana did not actually crash the gathering. Max invited her… and then acted like he didn’t. Wow. I would feel so bad for her if she wasn’t hazing Dayna Kathan at SUR because of Dayna’s hookups with Max (no matter how much Scheana denies the reasoning, we all can make that connection).

Scheana Marie Watch What Happens Live

For the first three episodes of Vanderpump Rules Season 8, Brett Caprioni and Max Boyens have spent most of their scenes talking shit about Scheana Marie. They’re using Scheana and her “boy crazy” tendencies for a storyline.

Well, now, it’s Scheana’s turn to sound off on them. And the label “boy crazy” is a lot better than being called “racist,” isn’t it? Both Max and Brett found themselves in hot water last week when old tweets resurfaced with them both using the n-word from 2011 to 2013. So, of course, this came up when Scheana was a guest on Watch What Happens Live last night.

Tom Sandoval Vanderpump Rules

On last night’s Vanderpump Rules Tom Sandoval got bit by the itsy-crazy spider and lost his head. That spider was the black widow of man-sanity!

Charli Burnett and Dayna Kathan are both finishing their training at SUR. While Charli is feeling right at home in the bosom of Scheana Marie‘s attentions, Dayna is feeling ostracized. Being called a mini Scheana Marie is definitely NOT a compliment, and considering that Charli claims she’s never eaten pasta she is not gong to fit in well here because it is literally ALL about the pasta!

Scheana is trying to play mind games with Dayna by pretending the still has her acrylic claws into Max Boyens. Scheana shows up at SUR to pick up a uniform and announces that she’s going to crash boys night to confront Max for calling her “boy crazy.” Because nothing says ‘I’m completely sane and not at all desperate’ like wearing an ill-fitting, cleavage baring dress and interrupting a bro-down to discuss about relationship boundaries with a person you’ve never had a relationship with outside of sending him a stalking device FOR THANKSGIVING.

Stassi Schroeder Vanderpump Rules

Vanderpump Rules is back tonight for a brand new episode. After years of tension without an obvious cause, Stassi Schroeder and Tom Sandoval get into an explosive fight during tonight’s episode. Tom pulls a Katie Maloney and sends out some rage texts after he’s excluded from planning Stassi’s book signing at TomTom.

In other news, Tom Sandoval and Jax Taylor are still at odds. This leaves their best friend Tom Schwartz stuck in the middle. Schwartz tries his best to mend the problems between his two best friends before the cast Miami trip, but I feel like his efforts aren’t going to work. At least in the long-run.