Well, everything stayed the same on Real Housewives Of New York except for one little fairy, who reclaimed her light, and flew away to the hope of a giant walk-in closet with a promising sparkle in her eye. That’s right, Tinsley Mortimer has left the building. Specifically, she’s left the long-term hotel she was living in.
In secret Tinsley went on an overnight rendezvous to visit Scott Kluth. Then she decided, on a whim, to return to NY, pack her stuff and move to Chicago! It was now or never. It was that or be looking down the barrel of turning into either Ramona Singer or Dorinda Medley. Tinsley does not need to learn her lesson twice as to what happens when you choose Real Housewives Of New York over being a real and actual housewife. She doesn’t want to be crying over eggs for the rest of her life!
If Dorit Kemsley were designing a dining room for the women of Real Housewives Of New York it would require padded walls (and floors), plus a vacuum that descended from the ceiling to pick loose clumps of food and spilled drinks. It would also need each table to come equipped with a megaphone and tissue dispensers. And possibly, if we’re being really ambitious it would need men, of any ilk and sort, schlubby, stuffy, dad bod, inappropriately clad, drunk, dull, droids – whatever as look as they seem convincing male-ish, they’ll pass. And never get between a Real Housewife of New York and a man!
In Newport, Rhode Island where Ramona Singer is pretending to be of the puritanical Mayfair class that Tinsley Mortimer hails from, no one can behave. Leah McSweeney is throwing anything she can pick up, and now they’re in yet another bar having yet another emotional meltdown. Honestly — someone just put hormones in their drinks because it’s like everyone in this cast is constantly PMSing.
The Real Housewives of New York ladies are still in Newport, Rhode Island on tonight’s episode. And the “fun” continues. Tinsley Mortimer hosts a dinner for the cast, which doesn’t go well. Ramona Singer ditches the group to flirt with random men at the bar.
That behavior is expected for Ramona. And, at some point, Leah McSweeney hurls at ravioli at Ramona
Elyse Slaine may not be doing much on Real Housewives Of New York, but it’s a shame because there are so many skeletons in her closet. Dorinda Medley hinted at them on last week’s’ episode, and since I am oh-so-nosy it prompted me to do some digging.
After all, Bravo doesn’t hire the saintly types. Even if Elyse hasn’t officially been hired, you know Bravo wouldn’t give her the time of day if there wasn’t something nefarious to dig into!
Let’s just say the Elyse in the history books of Page Six (once called one of Wall Street’s “most fascinating first wives,”) is far more interesting than the Elyse who is lecturing Leah McSweeney on propriety and alcohol consumption (although to be fairness Tiki Torches McStabby probably does need a good talking-to).
When Dorinda Medley joined Real Housewives of New York, she became an instant fan favorite. In contrast, the current season is rough for her and a lot of her drama appears to be her fault. Dorinda has been relentlessly attacking Tinsley Mortimer. Leah McSweeney seemingly hit the nail on the head when she theorized that Dorinda is just jealous of Tinsley’s wealth and privilege.
Yes, Dorinda was struggling after her home flooded. Going through a public breakup is tough. Throw in the fact that she’s still struggling to grieve her late husband and it adds up to a lot. And, yes, Tinsley is not as open as the other women who literally get paid to be open about their lives. Dorinda is probably not the only one who’s frustrated by that, but her level of anger just doesn’t seem to be justified. Tinsley seems to be pretty nice to her too. What gives? It’s just an incredibly unflattering season for Dorinda. That’s for sure. However, Elyse Slaine says that things are not as they appear.
In a surprise to most Real Housewives of New York fans, Ramona Singer has served a voice of reason for most of the current season. However, things are really blowing up for her this week. She turned against her friend of 20 years Elyse Slaine, who responded by sharing screenshots of their private text message conversations. Leah McSweeney called out Ramona for refusing to include her sister Sarah McSweeney on a cast trip. Leah and Sarah also accused Ramona of “pooping her pants” and “flirting with drunk, married men” at the same time.
On top of that, Ramona is beefing with Dorinda Medley, who has, apparently, taken a break from tearing down Tinsley Mortimer to fight with Ramona on social media. She also thinks that Ramona is “insensitive” to what she’s going through. This off-season fighting is a lot more interesting than the rather boring season we’ve been watching.
I love Real Housewives Of New York. Also, I want to hang out with them. The FOMO is worse than ever with this whole quarantine thing and everything. I will drink 10 martinis and lose my mind with Leah McSweeney. I will tear down the genteel (only-in-delusion) Upper East Side establishment – starting with their flowers. I will burn Newport to the ground with a fire of toasted marshmallows and vodka. It will be great. Ramona Singer can take her wannabe elegance and stuff it like a lobster roll.
Anyway, Ramona has invited all the Real Housewives of New York ladies to beautiful and sophisticated Newport, RI where she’s attempting to refashion herself into some sort of elegant grand dame in the search of a wealthy husband. Pssst…. Turtle Time, that ship has sailed. Meanwhile, there is Tinsley Mortimer, whose family actually owns a house in Newport where they spend summers. They winter in Palm Beach.
See, this is why they hate Tinsley. It’s not her screeching, or the whining, or the Power Puff Girl makeup with plastic-y tears, it’s the access. The blue bloodstock that doesn’t come from marrying up, and won’t dry-up with divorce.