Southern Charm Recap: Tally No!

Southern Charm Recap: Tally No!

After Madison LeCroy spewed the accusation heard ’round Bravo world, Shep Rose gave Austen Kroll an ultimatum, and Cameran Eubanks realized she’d never get her groove back, the crew could relax on the manufactured drama and rely on the unhinged villain fans love to hate. That’s right…last night’s Southern Charm brought back Ashley Jacobs who just can’t help herself when it comes to confronting Kathryn Dennis.

Chelsea Meissner is meeting her absolutely adorable father some good food and great atmosphere. They discuss Chelsea’s boyfriend and her decision not to go into business with Madison. After Madison’s Rocky Mountain outburst, Chelsea is worried how Madison would react if they ever had a professional disagreement. Very good point, Chelsea.

Danni Baird heads to Kathryn’s shrine to herself home, and she can’t contain her glow. After dumping the second senator, Kathryn has found love in chance Nashville encounter with an up-and-coming country artist. After regaling Danni with her new love, the two head to the veranda for some confit and conversation. Kathryn shares that she met with Madison, and she believes Madison is truly apologetic about that whole “Shep gave you the clap” debacle.

Southern Charm Recap: Tally No!

Danni doesn’t doubt Madison’s sincerity, but that doesn’t excuse her behavior. She has no desire to be friends with someone like that. Kathryn understands, but she also feels a “young mom” bond with Madison and hopes their fledgling friendship won’t interfere with her bestie status with Danni. The ever-cool Danni approves, she just wants Kathryn to be happy. Their conversation is interrupted by a text from Recent College Grad who is hosting a fox hunt.

Kathryn wonders if Eliza Limehouse spends her days googling old timey rich people past times and phrases. Clearly an event like this calls for Victorian garb, right? And Kathryn has the perfect velvet coat for it…

Speaking of RCG, Eliza is surprised by an Ashley ambush while at work. She went above and beyond to put Ashley in situations where she could make amends, but all Ashley did was talk more shiz to RCG’s new clique. Ashley wants to thank Eliza for giving her the opportunity to go to the skeet shoot.

RELATED: Austen Kroll “Disappointed” By Southern Charm Cast Members Who Aren’t Real On Camera; Plans To Call Them Out At Reunion

It gave Ashley a chance to be nasty to Naomie Olindo, which opened up the path for to later apologize. Ashley recounts her happy with Naomie to Eliza, stating it gave her hope as to whether Kathryn would be open to an apology. Um, was she at the same happy hour we watched? Eliza is cautiously optimistic, and she’s got the Bible to back up her hopes. Curses Bravo! I was determined not to like this girl, but when RCG she slept through STD-gate, my guard started to come down.

Southern Charm Recap: Tally No!

Craig Conover is boozing with Austen, and Austen relays his recent conversation with Shep. Craig creates a very confusing flow chart of who should be mad at whom over the whole chlamydia chaos. Madison totally betrayed Austen’s trust by using that information against his friends, but Shep should be pissed that Austen shared his secret. Secret? I thought it was a lie! Austen can’t deny his feelings for Madison, and he knows his relationship will be doomed if he continues taking advice from the likes of Shep and Craig.

As for Shep, he’s looking worse for wear while meeting Cameran for dinner at The Watch. Dressed like Mr. Rogers, Shep relays to Cameran that the lot he has under contract has the potential to be a money pit. Color Cam surprised. However, she is shocked to learn that Shep hasn’t had a drink in three days. He shares his side of his ultimatum with Austen.

RELATED: Southern Charm Star Shep Rose Made Fun Of A Homeless Woman

Cameran conveys that Madison must have some dirt on Austen to make him so loyal. Shep concurs…and he knows that dirt. Cameran barely pries, but Shep won’t follow in Madison’s footsteps by repeating sworn secrets (again, wasn’t it a lie?). His fortitude lasts all of seventeen seconds before gossiping that Austen spelled out “butt stuff” in rose petals on Valentine’s Day, and Madison answered, butt of course.

Southern Charm Recap: Tally No!

Meanwhile, Kathryn calls Danni to tell her about the text she’s just received from Ashley. The ever thoughtful Ashley wants Kathryn to know that she will be in attendance at Eliza’s event and she harbors no ill will towards the woman she once called an egg donor. She’s so refined.

Also downtown, Austen and Madison are trying to make amends over dinner. She is apologetic for spilling the beans, and Austen explains that her sharp tongue has continually hurt him. We learn that damn threesome footage was Austen freaking out about falling in love. Makes sense, right? He proclaims his love for Madison, and they celebrate with an awkward kiss and second bottle of wine.

RELATED: Southern Charm Star Shep Rose Apologizes For Posting Offensive Video That Made Fun Of A Woman Collecting Cans On The Street

Southern Charm Recap: Tally No!

Bless RCG’s heart, she’s been tally-ho-ing and fox hunting since she was nine. Pulling together this grand event hasn’t been easy. The protocols must be followed. The special coats must be worn. And by God, never call the hounds “dogs” because it insults them immensely. Shep and his friend Bailey (accompanied by Little Craig, natch) are on their way to the Limehouse plantation, as are Austen and Cameran.

Shep and Austen share a forced hello as the tally-hoers peddle their port. Naomie and Chelsea are participating in the hunt as Craig makes himself at home with the booze. When Ashley arrives, Naomie is less than impressed with this chick’s ability to follow simple directions. What part of “stay away from Kathryn” did Ashley not understand?

Southern Charm Recap: Tally No!

While Ashley pretends like she’s a grand part of the group, Naomie and Chelsea bow out of the hunt to warm up with some liquor. Eliza explains the rules and promises no foxes will be harmed in this reenactment. As the group follows the horses on a glorified hayride, Shep makes the ultimate faux pas by complimenting all the dogs. Once the hounds (geez, Shep!) lose the scent of the faux fox, the cavalry heads back to the plantation.

RELATED: Southern Charm Star Kathryn Dennis’ Mother Goes To Court; Claims Thomas Ravenel Drugged Kathryn

Kathryn and Danni are fashionably late, and I use the term “fashionably” because Kathryn is the perfect combination of Wild West saloon barmaid and Victorian school marm. I can’t decide if I love it or hate it. Thankfully, Ashley keeps her distance and her promise (to be nicer). She only laughs when her friend compare Kathryn to Pippi Longstocking…it’s not like she made the comment herself. That’s real progress.

Austen rehashes his love fest with Madison to Craig, and he’s less than pleased with the response. Craig is happy that his friend is happy, but he knows Madison will likely show her true colors again. Craig won’t take a page from Shep’s playbook and ice out Austen when it happens, but he won’t condone it either. Over a heaping plate of amazing food, Cameran wants to role play Kathryn’s inevitable upcoming encounter with Ashley.

Cameran almost does Ashley better than Ashley, but she’s interrupted when the real Ashley approaches and requests a sit down with Kathryn, who icily, but politely, obliges. Ashley regurgitates her rehearsed apology, stating that her family was appalled by her behavior towards Kathryn. Ashley swears she only wanted to show her support and let Kathryn know that she wasn’t a threat. In fact, Ashley was Kathryn’s biggest fan. Kathryn remains composed, telling Ashley that her insults and disgusting remarks did the exact opposite.

RELATED: Ashley Jacobs Says Southern Charm Star Craig Conover Is A “P*ssy” For Sewing

Southern Charm Recap: Tally No!

At this point, I think Ashley is surprised Kathryn hasn’t jumped her. In fact, if I had to guess, her hope was that Kathryn would lose it so Ashley could cry “I tried to apologize, but she’s crazy!” and continue her lame attempt to be the victim.

However, when Kathryn calmly challenges her lame excuses, Ashley looks like her head will explode. She is not sorry. Ashley doesn’t need forgiveness, but she wants to be able to wave at Kathryn across a crowded restaurant. Kathryn responds that appreciates Ashley’s words and wishes her well. Talk about taking the high road!

RELATED: Southern Charm Cast Member Danni Baird Reacts To Madison LeCroy’s Claim That Shep Rose Gave Danni An STD

Danni and Eliza consider it a win that Kathryn didn’t throw Ashley in the pool. It’s impressive that Kathryn and Ashley’s conversation was less tense than Austen trying to rekindle his friendship with Shep in light of his reconciliation with Madison. Looks like a bromance break-up is on the horizon!


[Photo Credit: Bravo]