Lisa Vanderpump is the ultimate businesswoman and multi-tasker. She juggles animal activism, her dog rescue, running multiple restaurants, and filming TV shows with ease. And don’t forget all that spare time she has for scheming and manipulation!
Her restaurant empire is slowly taking over the streets of West Hollywood. Even though Nene Leakeswanted to get there first. This season of Vanderpump Rules debuted Lisa’s latest restaurant venture, TomTom. And things must be going quite well because she is looking to expand the TomTom brand.
Last night was the weirdest, most insanely random episode of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills ever! This is RHOBH without a common enemy to direct all their wrath and delusions onto. I dunno — I loved it!
Dorit Kemsley shows up in a redneck tuxedo to Denise Richards‘ house to drink double vodka tonics at 2 in the afternoon and talk motherhood. (Denise had water since she had to pick her daughter up from school) Ha! Motherhood was about 2% of their conversation the rest was all Lisa Vanderpump. Denise liked Dorit immediately when she met her, and found her very warm and kind. That’s Dorit’s ruse — everyone feels that way about her. Initially.
Denise counsels Hollywood neophyte Dorit about handling close friends betraying you to the tabloids. When Denise was going through her divorce she actually used to run sting operations on confidantes by sharing something with them to see if it would wind up in the press, and that was how she knew who was a true friend. Despite LVP ruining her reputation, eviscerating her belief in friends, and making her question all of humanity, Dorit still wants their friendship back. Denise believes that – with time – Dorit can eventually forgive her.
Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was all about redemption. In a Hollywood kinda way.
Stassi Schroeder is in peril. After years of having bad boyfriends and being able to blame, project and justify her own bad behavior as their fault for having worse behavior, she is now dating the man of her dreams and needs a bad girlfriend detox. Enter Beau Clark: someone who does everything Stassi demands of him, entertains her endlessly, cedes to her tantrums, and accepts that even when Stassi is wearing a mini skirt, she wears the pants. Basically she’s a queen dating the court jester.
But winter is coming and that winter is Stassi’s demand for unwavering sycophancy and the lashing of her evil tongue when Beau doesn’t capitulate. Last time it ended in eczema and tears, but what if someday Beau decides he can no longer take being a battered boyfriend, aka the future subject of a Lifetime Movie?
Nevertheless, puppygate is what we have to talk about right now. Even Shahs of Sunsetstar Mercedes “MJ” Javid can’t help voicing her opinion. Especially after Ken Toddyelled “Goodbye Kyle” when he was kickingKyle Richards out of Villa Rosa. Lisa Vanderpump fans initially used this hashtag to poke fun at Kyle. Then, Kyle tried to give it a different meaning by using it herself on social media. So what does MJ think of the whole mess?
Season 9 of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has centered on Lucy Lucy Apple Juice. Dorit Kemsley and PK Kemsleyadopted the pup from Lisa Vanderpump’s dog rescue. After the dog nipped at the kids and PK, Dorit re-homed the pup. Poor Lucy ended up in a kill shelter. Dorit had previously returned a dog to Vanderpump Dogs, so she knew the drill. She also neglected to read the pesky contract that specified that a $5,000 fee was due if a dog was not returned to Lisa’s organization. Spoiler alert: The Kemsleys didn’t pay the fine, and probably lumped it in with their other debts. I hope that Lucy is chilling somewhere and just living her best life. She deserves it after this debacle.
The long-time friendship between LVP and former bestie Kyle Richards exploded when someone leaked the story about Lucy ending up at a shelter to a tabloid. All the Beverly Hills ladies, including Erika Jayne, believe that Lisa was responsible and trying to punish Dorit. And when Kyle took on the mission to confront LVP, she was tossed out of Villa Rosa by Lisa and her husband, Ken Todd. That scene was so uncomfortable to watch!
Every week I tune in to Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills and every week I say, “Please let there be no more Lucy stuff… Please let the dog crap be pooper scooped and done with… NoMoreDogs, NoMoreDogs, NoMoreDogs!” Aaaaannnd every week my hopes are dashed!
The women are shocked by Lisa’s reactions. Really? “That’s not friendship,” scoffs Erika Girardi, “that’s bullshit.” Does Erika have friends she doesn’t pay to stuff her into latex and other “pat the puss” endeavors? How would she even know the difference between friendship and bullshit? And to that I say, it is bullshit that Kyle barged over to her s0-called friend’s house, a day before her birthday, to accuse her of lying. BULLSHIT.
Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was one of the most boring and utterly pointless (re: contrived) episodes we’ve seen in a long time. Clearly this season is running out of steam if the major happenings are Raquel Leviss trying – and failing – to invite people to a “Puppy Shower” for her dog, or Lala Kent having a low-grade panic attack after too many edibles drinks in Mexico.
Like really, how many times can we watch Stassi Schroeder and Beau Clark have the same whiny crying fight with their puffy hung-over faces and snotty tears? UGH. How many times can we watch Katie Maloney make fun of Tom 2‘s dick. I mean, we get it – sometimes it’s invisible, other times hidden behind a mini bag of Lays Potato Chips. And honestly how many times can we watch James Kennedy grovel for acceptance and forgiveness? James let your self-esteem be like Tom 2’s peen – a grower, not a show-er.