Comscore

Logan Noh

Jax Taylor Brittany Cartwright Vanderpump Rules reunion

The Vanderpump Rules saga continues. After Stassi Schroeder, Kristen Doute, Max Boyens, and Brett Caprioni were fired for racist behavior, who is next?

Hmmm. Maybe two people who had a homophobic pastor for their wedding controversy?. Indeed, Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright aren’t exactly known for being stand up people. Jax was even part of the Faith Stowers attempted takedown that Stassi and Kristen were fired for. Also, he tweeted out a false accusation that she committed grand theft auto and went AWOL from the military. Neither are true, just like 99% of what Jax says.

Tom Schwartz Vanderpump Rules

Most of the Vanderpump Rules cast members head to Las Vegas tonight for Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz’s wedding redo. It’s not all wedding bliss though. Schwartz finds a bra in his bag and it’s not Katie’s. Is something scandalous going on? Probably not, but there’s bound to be drama anyway.

Of course, Kristen Doute is flipping out back in West Hollywood because she was excluded. Again. Even Lisa Vanderpump and Ken Todd make the trip. Naturally, Lisa also uses the trip as an opportunity to publicize the Vanderpump Cocktail Garden.

Lala Kent Scheana Marie Vanderpump Rules

During the last season of Vanderpump Rules, Lala Kent was struggling with alcoholism and grieving the death of her father. This year, sober Lala has been way out of hand. She tried to out James Kennedy by rekindling those rumors that he slept with Logan Noh. She attacked Raquel Leviss for no reason at that wine night.

She is really high and mighty for a woman who constantly brags about providing oral sex in exchange for private jet access. During last week’s episode, Lala tried to give Scheana Marie some advice about her love life. Scheana broke down crying, admitting that she was upset to be divorced and single. Months later, Lala took that “tough love” to another level. This time, she was straight up mean, which seems to be norm these days.

Vanderpump Rules Scheana Marie

Oh sheesh, after serial dating everyone else on the cast to see who sticks (aka who will even pretend to put up with them), Dayna Kathan and Brett Caprioni are finally getting their moment on Vanderpump Rules.

And then there is Stassi Schroeder literally begging Beau Clark for a ring. Isn’t this a pattern for her to demand these men want to commit on her terms? Just like it’s a pattern for Scheana Marie to fake BFF every guy under 30 who she meets at SUR, writing his initials in puffy paint circled by a heart on all her most favorite sweatshirts. Doodling SM + ANYONE WHO WILL LOVE ME AND MY PRACTICALLY BARREN GERIATRIC WOMB. Anyway, where is Lala Kent to point out Stassi’s flaws? Good thing we’re here to do that instead.

Seriously Scheana may not be able to land a date, but she’s certainly able to launch the would-be careers of previously no-name SURvers. Maybe she should finally give up waitressing to go work with Beau in central casting? (Not kidding!) 

Kristen Doute Vanderpump Rules

Last week’s episode of Vanderpump Rules left a lot of people sympathizing with Katie Maloney, for the first time in years. She was offended by a prank Randall Emmett, Lala Kent, and Jax Taylor played on Tom Sandoval. Tom Schwartz felt the exact opposite, so he decided to berate her talk about how he never wants to have sex with her in front of all their friends. Oh, and the Vanderpump Rules viewers, of course.
Now that Katie and Schwartz have the spotlight among the show’s 16,324 cast members, they’re gonna capitalize on that. Their next storyline? Renewing their vows in Las Vegas. However, their first marriage wasn’t actually legal, so it’s just a wedding redo. Their inviting some of the same people, except for Kristen Doute. Last week, Katie excluded Kristen from girls night. Now, Katie isn’t including her in the wedding redo. That doesn’t seem like a big deal, but in actuality Kristen is probably freaking out that she’s missing out on some money by not being included at events that are filmed for the show.

Lala Kent Vanderpump Rules

Who would have thought that Vanderpump Rules Season 8 would be the season when we all get behind Raquel Leviss. We have Lala Kent to thank for that. She has been unnecessarily cruel and antagonistic to Raquel. From what we’ve seen, Raquel has been nice and gracious. It’s quite the contrast.

Meanwhile, Lala just goes in insult after insult, trying to rile this woman up. Two weeks ago, Lala attempted to “out” James Kennedy be rekindling the rumor that he hooked up with one-time best friend Logan Noh. Talk about crossing a line! It was also completely unrelated to the topic they were discussing. Then, on this week’s episode, she had the nerve to try and spin it around and act as if Raquel is the one obsessed with “Logan.” Girl, you are the one who brought this up, not Raquel.

Katie Maloney Vanderpump Rules

Things are happening on Vanderpump Rules. Dramatic things! Jax Taylor turned 40. We do not need to celebrate any more milestones for him though. Raquel Leviss is suddenly finding herself included in things. I can’t tell if that’s because Kristen Doute is finally finding herself EXcluded for not making Carter her official ex, or if it’s because Lala Kent wants to eviscerate Raquel in public. Or because James Kennedy has finally sobered up and everyone wants to experience the potential shit-show that is Sober James?

Lisa Vanderpump meets Ariana Madix for a little horseplay. Lisa has taught her horse to talk, likes to make-out with him, and can conjure his wiener on demand. Lisa is one step away from Carole Baskin, and Ken better watch out before he finds himself fed to a pen full of tiny ponies. You know Lisa’s next wedding will feature a slavish weirdo wearing a pink tasseled horse saddle while she holds him by the literal reigns.

(Please watch Tiger King. I will be recapping a couple episodes, and we need to discuss.)

Vanderpump Rules Tom Schwartz

For the past few seasons, it’s been tough for Vanderpump Rules viewers to sympathize with Katie Maloney. However, on tonight’s episode, her own husband, Tom Schwartz, really crosses a line. He talks down to her and humiliates her in front of the entire cast. And, oh yeah, the Vanderpump Rules viewers. Usually, the fans side with Schwartz just because he normally has such a lovable disposition. But, it will be very interesting to see how the Pump Rules fans feel after tonight’s episode. #TeamKatie on this one. This one time.

In other news, the cast gets together to celebrate Jax Taylor’s 40th birthday. Yeah, I know that we celebrate his birthday during every season of this show, but we also focused on his wedding for the first half of this current season. Can we get a break from the Jax-centered celebrations? Please. There are 13,000 other cast members on this show.