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Vanderpump Rules former queen bee Stassi Schroeder has come a long way from the friend punching, drink throwing, temper tantrum having girl we first met during Season 1 of the show.
While the cast have started marrying off, Stassi was ready to trade in the wine bottle for the baby bottle prior to her engagement. Can we say Mommie Dearest?
During last night’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, Katie Maloney and Stassi Schroeder continued to give Kristen Doute a hard time about her strange relationship with Carter. In response, Kristen went below the belt when she made a comment about “Tom Schwartz f*cking around for years” during his relationship with Katie.
That dinner discussion didn’t end at the restaurant though. When the cast got to the club, Katie told Schwartz that Kristen was “cut” from the group and she told him what Kristen said about him cheating on Katie. So many reasons to cringe, all around.
Before Scheana Marie linked up with her current man, she was spotted with various Bachelor franchise alums, vacationing in Hawaii and going to Disney Land. She responded to the intrigue by claiming those guys are just her “best friends,” but did here’s the twist- she probably set those photo opportunities up herself.
Or at least that’s what Stassi Schroeder and Lala Kent recently said. In fact, they said that she calls the paparazzi on herself pretty often. Is anyone surprised by this? No, not really.
Everyone grab your tiny violins, it’s time to talk about Kristen Doute. The former SURver is heading into her 8th season on Vanderpump Rules and it looks like things are getting lonely for her. As you may know, Kristen is currently estranged from on/off best friends, Katie Maloney and Stassi Schroeder. She has been noticeably absent from any and all of Stassi’s wedding preparations amid confirmed reports her relationships are on life support.
Kristen also broke up with her boyfriend, Brian Carter, at the end of last season. Poor Carter never worked had a problem with maintaining income that would support paying rent. For some reason this heavily impacted both Stassi and Katie’s life and factored into their struggling friendship with Kristen. Since then, Kristen has been busy with her new home and even started writing a self-help book, encouraging women to “own their crazy”. But don’t reach for the tissues quite yet. At least one old friend is standing by Kristen’s side and even showed up for a holiday photo.
Peace and harmony amongst the Vanderpump Rules Witches of WeHo trio of Stassi Schroeder, Kristen Doute and Katie Maloney was bound to end at some point. We’ve seen the three at odds many times before. For instance, when Kristen admitted to sleeping with Stassi’s ex-boyfriend, Jax Taylor. Or when Stassi treated Katie and Kristen like crap, moved to New York to be with Patrick Meagher, and then came groveling back when she couldn’t make it on her own.
However, the trio was in a good place last season. The only hitch happened to be Kristen’s deadbeat boyfriend Brian Carter. Stassi and Katie made it loud and clear they felt Brian was taking advantage of Kristen, but Kristen wasn’t having it. Still, everything seemed fine between them. Until the past several months, that is.
Things are finally heading in the right direction for Vanderpump Rules star Stassi Schroeder. Several seasons ago, she seemed a shell of her former sharp-tongued self when she was dating mansplainer Patrick Meagher. But when that relationship finally ended, Stassi pulled herself up by her slingback straps and hasn’t looked back since.
The fashionista got her own national holiday and wrote a book that made it onto the New York Times bestsellers list. See if your cocktail book can top that, Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix! She also got engaged to her new boyfriend Beau Clark, who accepts her for who she is, birthday meltdowns and all. So, the newest season of Pump Rules will be all smiles for Stassi right? Not so fast. Apparently, there is major drama on the horizon for her and one of her besties, Kristen Doute.
Well, our prayers have been answered you guys. Another single one bites the dust in the Vanderpump Rules game of love. With this turn of events, the only people not engaged or in a relationship is myself and Kristen Doute. Anytotalspinster, Stassi Schroeder has seen her fair share of dating woes. When viewers first met Stassi, she was trying to tame bad boy Jax Taylor. At the time, Jax wasn’t marriage material. He wound up cheating on Stassi and getting a random Vegas girl pregnant. Good thing he changed for the better, amirite?
Stassi then turned her attention towards Frank the Bartender. Smarmy Frank found himself bribing Stassi for a whopping $900, or he would release a very… revealing video of the former SURver. Thankfully Lisa Vanderpump paid him to go away. Then there was probably the biggest twat mistake Stassi made, Patrick Meagher. This guy was a real winner, he wore his misogynist comments better than he wore his hair. After a painful relationship with multiple gaslighting sessions, Stassi finally saw the error of her ways. Patrick spoke down to Lisa on camera, and he disappeared shortly thereafter. Enter Beau Clark. Sweet, hipster Beau seemed to be the perfect man for Stassi. Her friends accept him, her mom REALLY likes him, and she fell madly in love. Now Stassi and Beau are joining the rest of the crew and officially adulting. Ready or not, another wedding is coming.
My guess is when you guys think about “true love”, no one from Vanderpump Rules comes to mind. Perhaps visions of Mike and Carol Brady fill your head or Princess Leia and Han Solo… But I’m definitely not picturing Tom Schwartz getting the verbal beat down from owner wife, Katie Maloney. Visions of Tom Sandoval and glorified roommate Ariana Madix certainly don’t fit. Shall we talk about marriage-bound Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright? No, we better skip them too. Oh, hang on a second, we cannot forget Lala Kent and Randall Emmett. Those two are the epitome of what a REAL relationship looks like. I think we can all agree that Lala would 1,000% be with Rand if he weren’t rich and a Hollywood producer. Because Lala typically goes for men with 19 chins and children from previous relationships. #sorrynotsorry
So who will be next to put a ring on it and start heading down the aisle of permanent togetherness? Even though, Tom 1 and Tom 2 are historically the happiest couple on the show… The Toms do have an idea, but if you ask me it’s more the result of what cast members are left over. Ain’t nobody thinking someone will marry Kristen Doute, like ever. So Stassi, you’re up girlfriend.