Real Housewives of Beverly Hills used to be a show about rich women who showed off their rich lady stuff. It’s currently about how Erika Jayne is trying to avoid finding herself in front of attorney, Jay Edelson. Between questioning Tom Girardi’s medical diagnosis and deciding whether or not EJ has gone from knee-deep to drowning in this fraud, lawyer Jay is basically the Obi-Wan Kenobi of orphans and widows who continue to suffer because money was stolen from them. This man is working hard, free of charge, for the victims of Lion Air Flight 610 and he’s pissed.
Along with Ronald Richards, special counsel appointed to Tom’s bankruptcy case, Jay and his team are uncovering new info that provides insight on things like Alzheimer’s Disease, losing massive amounts of cash, and illegally transferring money in an effort to conceal assets. Erika is playing the role of her life and she doesn’t have to powder up and slide into latex for this one. Now EJ is being hauled into bankruptcy court and Tom might have accidentally bribed the lead attorney. Karma has cleared her schedule for this one.
It is a mystery why Erika Jayne decided to film Season 11 of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills when she and her husband, Tom Girardi, are mired in legal woes. During the most recent episode of RHOBH, Erika confided in co-star Sutton Stracke about how hurt she was that Tom never came to see her in Chicago on Broadway.
That was unacceptable. But compared with everything else that Tom has allegedly done, it doesn’t seem out of character.
What comes after lie, lie, and deny? Delay, delay, and delay. You can run but you can’t hide from, well, this particular judge who seems to have no love for the Erika Jayne discography collection. Judge Barry Russell is clearly not a fan of pop music or Real Housewives of Beverly Hills because he is striking down every opportunity Erika’s team tries to put in place to guarantee she’ll be back out on the dance circuit soon. Erika probably misses her once super hot career and those 4am shows at Club Go Fuck Yourself in a town no one’s heard of, who would book EJ because they had $25 extra in the kitty that week for “talent”.
Erika sang songs
widows and orphans Tom Girardi paid to have produced. Erika went on tours funded by burn victims courtesy of Tom’s PJ. And the fame and fortune that came along with fraud and embezzlement working hard in a thieving take-no-prisoners environment lead to a role on Broadway. Now it looks like EJ will have to wait a bit longer before returning to the entertainment scene because she has some documents to produce, but don’t worry, Judge Russell will wait.
This week Erika Jayne continues her battle against accusations of hiding equity and the heartbreak of ill-fitting sweatpants. We will probably find the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star papped at Applebee’s, where she’ll dare anyone to comment on ordering a side of suffering for orphans with her 2 for $20 Fiesta Lime Chicken dinner. EJ is on a budget due to Tom Girardi’s bankruptcy case and no one is more delighted than attorney, and thorn in Erika’s side, Ronald Richards.
Erika doesn’t appreciate Ron’s dedication to educating the public via social media on legal matters. She denies withholding financial information and wants everyone to know Ron is a big old meanie. She feels violated! She feels harassed! Denise Richards, any comments? Erika is trying to get Ronald removed from the bankruptcy case again for unfairly targeting her. Unfortunately for Erika, Ron and Karma don’t die, they multiply.
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip. That started at a restaurant, and totally went to shit. Greetings from the SS Screw You Over where Erika Jayne is reading up on how to tread water because her boat is about to meet an iceberg named Ronald Richards. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star has another hole in the hull of the vessel that is her life and this one can’t be fixed with thoughts and prayers.
In addition to her marriage failing, her estranged husband losing everything and declaring dementia, and a plethora of legal cases, another giant wave has hit Erika. Recently we learned a special counsel was appointed to investigate EJ’s finances so long-suffering clients of Tom Girardi’s can finally get paid. Erika has been accused of either hiding or transferring assets so the courts don’t nab the good stuff for widows and orphans. Now it appears Erika has refused to grant access of her financials to the investigator, so he’s about to sink her battleship.
Awww, I guess clouds have a silver lining after all! The only thing Erika Jayne needs more than a
stylist break are some attorneys and it looks like she’s in luck. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star can breathe easy for about, oh, five minutes or so. Erika has been suffering from theft accusations of embezzling funds after estranged husband Tom Girardi represented clients who never got paid.
Erika might have the dubious honor of being the most unethical person on Bravo, and oh my dear lord, that is saying something. Numerous court cases are looming and chances are pretty good they can’t buy their innocense or pay to keep others quiet. Speaking of paying, on Monday, Erika’s entire team of attorneys quit without much warning and left her to hang in the wind unrepresented. Thankfully Erika must have woken up with a clear mind, free of pretend amnesia and remembered where her wallet is. It’s a lucky day in Beverly Hills for Erika because, they’re baaaaaaack.
Good news, everyone! Mikey Minden can stop pouring through Erika Jayne’s remaining wardrobe for an appropriate “moment” designed to confuse the prosecution with high-art glamour and questions about shoulder pads. We might be on standby because the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Birdbrain of Alcatraz star has hit another wall. Get your popcorn and cocktails, but longtime EJ fans may want to take a deep breath.
It really is like a movie script. A cinematic noir about stealing money from innocent victims and sinister charges of fraud. Filmed under the haze of Vaseline and the occasional waft of burned hair. Or it could be another day in the life of Erika. She’s suffering some radioactive fallout from the recent Hulu documentary covering tricky accounting methods with Tom Girardi. Erika is trying to get out of being on the hook for
most some of Tom’s debt and fighting to retain assets before the only public appearance on her calendar is the Pink Pig Swap Meet in Crawford County, Arkansas. On today’s show, the hills are alive with the sound of… attorneys running far, far away from Erika.
Welp, she tried. Another swing and a miss in the game of life that is Erika Jayne. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star is probably regretting any and all references to being XXPEN$IVE, and it might be time to pay the piper. Erika and Tom Girardi are in a heap of trouble. Tom managed to screw over some former clients in sensitive positions while he and Erika peed in gold toilets and propped Chagalls against the dining room wall.
Erika has been running into a lot of obstacles since she and Tom were both implicated in an embezzlement scheme involving the nonpayment of Tom’s clients. They are also being accused of using their divorce as a cover to hide assets to prevent them from being seized in the name of debt collection. Erika is doing everything she can to prevent her “household items” from being nabbed so widows and orphans can eat. Despite EJ’s efforts to block further investigation, the judge said, “How many fucks do I give? NONE, NOT ONE ZERO ZERO DONE!”