Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives Of New York, which was about as bad a news a girl can receive. I should probably just console myself by investing in a Countess Candle. After all, Luann de Lesseps is my personal idol of how not to behave and why.
It’s the day before the infamous Christmas Cabaret and Luann is in rare form, gliding into the Gramercy Theater wearing a fabulous cape – like a true diva. Next Luann will be getting one of those long cigarette holders (please let this happen). Luann’s weary assistant, the Countess Corraller, is stationed outside her dressing room overseeing the vast collection of Luann-centric products: statement necklaces, t-shirts, and of course the candles, but this is a mere rehearsal before the big show.
Dorinda Medley and Sonja Morgan take time out of their busy lives for a little pampering, i.e. Coolsculpting which freezes their fat cells so they can metabolize them, then pee them out. If only I could do this with ice cream! Also Real Housewives science, as departed by a doctor we’re supposed to find sexy is always the best.
Tonight we say goodbye to Real Housewives Of New York which is about the biggest travesty of my summer. Worse than not having my vacation planned yet ( I know, I know…), but at least we get a little Christmas in almost July with the Countess‘ Holiday Cabaret!
Despite Ramona Singer trying to block the women from attending Luann de Lesseps‘ cabaret by planning a surprise party at the same time, several of the women rally to make it the holiday extravaganza. Unfortunately, despite their best efforts, Luann’s diva behavior asserts itself once again! Can this woman never be stopped? It’s like her own ego literally has consumed her!
The Real Housewives of New York has one of the more stable Housewife casts. These ladies just don’t give up their apples very often. Or have them taken away. Ramona Singer is at 11 seasons, Sonja Morgan at 9, Bethenny Frankel at 8, Dorinda Medley at 5 and Tinsley Mortimer at 3. Luann de Lesseps is also at 11 seasons– but was demoted to Friend Of status for Season 6. And I would still love to know the real story behind that slap in the face!
Every year, there are rumors about who might be staying, who might be going and who might be added to the cast. This year, the big talk has been that Deidre Scaramucci, wife of former White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci is going to be a new Housewife. And a few of the current RHONY ladies recently spoke out on the casting chatter.
Miami is where souls go to die on Real Housewives Of New York. People are arrested. People are swept up in tsunami-like rages. And people pose decadently and cluelessly in front of their cabaret posters in the middle of the street.
Last night gave us the full spectrum of why Real Housewives Of New York are the alpha Housewives. One minute people are shaking with sobs, the next they’re shoving their dogs in a home freezer, then putting on thong leotards for a little 80’s throwback workout.
It’s that time again – time for Luann de Lesseps to head back to the studio to record another Real Housewives Of New York anthem!
Fresh from her massive fallout with Bethenny Frankel in Miami, Luann struggles with how to react and almost turns back to drinking, but resilient as ever The Countess channels her anguish into her art with a sobriety-inspired song! Meanwhile Tinsley Mortimer is tired of being the butt of everyone’s jokes about what a prude she is and tries to prove her adventurous side with a racy moment.
Barbara Kavovit is nearing the end of her first season as a “Friend of” on the Real Housewives of New York. So far, we don’t really know a lot about her. Barbara is in the construction business, once had a relationship with a woman and…she sometimes favors shirts that don’t quite reach the top of her pants. And that is about it. She seems nice enough, but Barbara has not really made a big impression.
Barbara is not overly dramatic like Bethenny Frankel. She doesn’t enjoy starting fights ala Dorinda Medley. And Barbara doesn’t down booze on an epic Sonja Morgan level. So, how does an aspiring Housewife stand out amongst a group of ladies who love to be the center of attention? Well, if you are Barbara, you might try to stand out in a different way. By being the “normal one.”
Real Housewives of New York star Tinsley Mortimer’s storyline has been very similar the past couple of seasons. Mainly her desire to have a family and a willing partner to join her. Her tagline this year perfectly summed it up, “Game, set, now I need a match.” Plus, who knew she was also a good tennis player?
Tinsley thought she had found her perfect match when she started dating Carole Radziwill’s friend Scott Kluth. But it didn’t take long to see that the relationship was one sided. Scott was always MIA. When he did show up, Tinsley embarrassed herself by acting like a fan girl. Thankfully, because of the tick tock of Tinsley’s ticking clock (say that three times fast), Tinsley realized it’s time to move on.
In addition to being the patriarch, godfather, and ultimate supreme ruler of all things Real Housewives, Andy Cohen is a new dad and the host of Bravo’s late night talk show, Watch What Happens Live. As the first openly gay American late night talk show host, Andy has long been an eloquent and gracious advocate for LGBTQ+ rights.
New York City is currently hosting WorldPride, the world’s largest Pride event, spanning the entire month of June. The Bravo network is known for its support of the LGBTQ+ community. So it is no surprise that Bravo and Andy have a float in the parade this year.