On last night’s episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Adrienne deals with a chatty Kim, Kyle throws a charity event, and Lisa confronts the enemy – who happens to be Brandi Glanville. And Taylor! And speaking of Taylor – let’s just pretend she wasn’t there!
Leaving for what is possibly the last Kings game in Sacramento, Adrienne and Paul are waiting on a PJ (that’s slang for private jet) for Kim to arrive and she is late. Very late. When she finally shows up, Paul is concerned about her face. He is itching to get his anesthesia out and do a little nip tuck right on the plane. Hey, the seats recline! I’m concerned about her state of mind? Under the influence or flustered? On the flight, a very spastic Kim raaaaambles on and on making Paul and Adrienne feel a little nutty themselves. Adrienne gives Kim a direction for her loquaciousness by bringing up Crazy Creek. Kim provides Paul with a spot-on demonstration of Lisa skiing in her fur hat– I was dying! Ahahaha! Kim also lets us know she was humped by a bra and thong-wearing Taylor and yeah, she’s had PTS ever since!
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Adrienne is concerned that Kim doesn’t understand the seriousness of the situation and warns her about the fan unrest over a possible team move. Adrienne explains that moving the team is a big deal for her family and they are concerned, not just about the fans, but the jobs that will be lost in the process. But the team needs a new state-of-the-art arena to be financially lucrative. When they arrive at Maloof Stadium a huge banner reads: “Baby, Please Don’t Go!” Adrienne begins to cry and we get our first ever moment of tenderness between Paul and Adrienne as he attempts to comfort her by caressing her Louboutins. Hey, heels are the way to a petite girl’s heart.
As Adrienne, et al leave the limo hoards of livid fans are protesting and waving signs. Once they make it to Suite M, Kim ignoring the dangerous situation, is chattering her head off about Louis Vuitton – does the LVMH group have an endorsement deal with Bravo or something – and despite the tense situation makes Adrienne laugh. Paul isn’t amused and keeps directing them to watch the game!
Adrienne decides to go down to the court to mingle with fans. As she signs autographs, takes pictures, and talks to stadium employees; Adrienne expresses that going onto the court was the right thing to do. Paul is glad he shared this experience with his wife, but perhaps they should have left Kim in BH with her power outage. And as the trio leaves he is stuck carrying everyone’s purses and ice cream! Haha
At Kyle’s her “Ladysitter” Justin is helping her prepare for her first-ever charity cocktail party to raise money for Lollypop Theater. Unfortunately they only have four RSVPs. Kyle explains that while it’s easy to write a check and show up at an event in a pretty dress, she wants to be move involved.
As part of the event Kyle will be hosting a silent auction and she calls her when it’s convenient bestie asking for a donation of dinner for two at Villa Blanca, but Lisa – who is a kind and generous, albeit wealthy, soul (just ask Cedric) – tells Kyle to auction off a dinner for four or six! Kyle also requests that Lisa to bring friends … and their wallets, as she informs us it helps to have rich friends! I wonder what Taylor is donating to Kyle’s charity? Maybe her lips can be auctioned off…
Lisa is meeting with her business partners to discuss the expansion of SUR. She warns her partners – who have small children begging to visit her castle – that it will be a HUGE undertaking requiring extremely late hours. The partners are in – despite the potential strain on their marriage. By the way, Lisa does not live in a castle – she patiently explains, that darling – it’s a house! Not by my standards… it’s really more of a shopping center.
Taylor tells Kyle that a story about her marriage and her skin n bones figure is in a gossip column and she’s not happy about it. Apparently, she and Russell decided she should not be talking to her friends about her marriage after Crazy Creek where she flipped out over her make-up bag and now there is an article on a gossip site. Maybe her “diet supplements” were in that bag or something.
Quick aside: I thought she decided with her life enabler coach that she shouldn’t discuss her marriage with her friends because it “confused” her? This woman does realize cameras are recording when she changes the story every 3 minutes!?
The article contains very personal details and Kyle is wondering who they came from. Oh, perhaps this little bird name Waylor called the press… . Kyle speculates that maybe Taylor’s nanny is to blame. But that’s not possible, because according to Taylor everyone in her employ is under a confidentiality agreement!! Kyle is confused about who does this (people who have something to hide, Kyle, that’s who). Kyle doesn’t have “staff” – only her housekeeper who is allowed to gossip about her to any old person she wants to, but then again maybe she’s never met people who are “richer than Texas!” Taylor decides the person who leaked the story must be Lisa! Kyle suggests that famed publicist Elliot Mintz (who is now allegedly Taylor’s publicist) be dispatched to solve the case of who cares about Trashy Taylor enough to leak her drama to the press.
Camille is preparing for her annual vacation to Hawaii with her kids by picking out wetsuits and surf boards. Camille, who has had a personality transplant since last season, describes how important the support of her friends, like D.D. and family has been through her divorce. She fills us in on the state of hanger-on creepy Carl, who apparently knew of Kelsey’s infidelity all along and never told her, so as a result she has severed contact with him. Bad move, buddy – there goes the free vacations!
At a “thriving” Villa Blanca Lisa is manning the phones. She informs us that Cedric did more than manage the restaurant, he was part of their family and it has been difficult to replace him emotionally. Lisa believes Cedric wont find another idiot like her… or WILL he, Brandi?
Kyle doesn’t even know if people will show up to her charity event. Her friend Michele helps with last-minute details, like her outfit – should she go streetwalker or va-va-voom? Michele is funny. Can she replace Taylor? The event was originally supposed to be at Kyle’s new house, but it’s not ready yet so she has moved it to her friend and party-planner, Glen’s restaurant. Kyle’s dress looks cute! I like her in strapless. Kim is not coming because she is “tired” from her Sacramento trip, which Kyle deems a “big shock-a-roo!”
Lisa and Ken arrive early and according to her the event is in some god-forsaken place in back of a mall, but she is going to support Kyle. Oh Lisa… you melt my heart. MARTIN was there! Did you spot him?! I can’t believe he would ever interact with them again! The morally corrupt Faye Resnick also appeared, chattering about her trip to Mexico City. The charity raised a mere $15,000 for children with cancer, which is a personal cause for the Umansky’s because as a child Mauricio suffered from a rare cancerous blood disease. Wow!
Taylor arrives and it looks like she is wearing a garbage bag. And she brought a friend! Did she sign a confidentiality agreement? Lisa corners Taylor about her gaunt appearance and not eating. Which according to Taylor, is more convincing evidence Lisa leaked the story. Lisa just wants to help Taylor sort her “skinny ass” out. Taylorexic questions Lisa’s motives for inviting her over to talk and doesn’t know why she is concerned, since she doesn’t even like her and they are not friends. Perhaps Lisa just wants some more gossip to leak to the Enquirer? Or perhaps Lisa can adopt Taylor ala Cedric.. She likes the grifter types.
Adrienne arrives with newbie Brandi, who despite a broken foot is wearing a crotch length skirt and one stiletto. Lisa has seen photos of Brandi hanging out with Cedric and is instantly suspicious. Kyle is also suspicious about her since she is wearing ONE stiletto with crutches – especially given that she broke her foot falling off super-high heels. But according to Paul, that’s cause Kyle may be jealous of a younger, hotter Brandi.
Taylor sidles right up to Brandi and proceeds to invite her to Kennedy’s $100,000 birthday party next week– gotta one up last year’s 60K fete! This Brandi person is supposed to be a model, who apparently met Cedric 15-years-ago in Paris or London or wherever where he was also a model, but what is wrong with her face?
Lisa immediately confronts Brandi about her relationship with Cedric and Brandi is evasive, claiming they are “friendly” and he has never spoken badly of Lisa or Ken. Kyle, who explains her cattiness is in defense of Lisa, quips that Brandi’s “claim to fame” is her divorce from “number one douche bag,” C-Lister Eddie Cibrian, who left her for LeAnn Rimes. Kyle asks Paul how they know Brandi and he doesn’t have answer. Adrienne appreciates that Brandi speaks her mind to the press.
Brandi wants ‘60-year-old’ Lisa (who is far more attractive than late-30’s something Brandi) to let go of the Cedric stuff – let it go like Brandi has let go of her husband’s philandering? It’s tough when someone stabs you in the back, right Bran? I think Bravo totes arranged this “friendship” between Brandi and Cedric, or she staged it to get on this show.
While the Brandi drama is occurring, Taylor snags the elusive Elliot Mintz for some advice on her own drama by giving him a confusing nonsensical hypothetical about some group who knows things. Elliot advises her to find the ringleader and confront that person and watch her body language to try and snare the snitch or something, but sadly Taylor doesn’t understand. So she returns to Kyle to snark on Brandi. Poor neglected Brandi is left out of “huddle time” and left all alone with some wine, her one-shoe, her crutches, and her panties practically hanging out of her microscopic skirt. At least the mean girl huddle gave a moment of silence for her one high-heel!
WWHL is back! And last night’s episode featured Tia and Tamera Mowry of the Style Network’s Tia and Tamera. The drinking game word is “sister.” Andy reveals that Kyle met President Obama at an event and First Lady Michelle is a fan of RHOBH! The sisters have never heard of a “confidentiality agreement” for staff and furthermore don’t have staff, except a nanny!
Andy coins a new word: Kim-coherent, to describe Kim’s maybe altered state of mind? And it turns out The Mowry Twins baby-sat The Olsen Twins back in the day! Andy shows a side-by-side of Melissa Gorga and the twins – and they DO look alike (although the twins are cuter!), and Melissa Tweeted she wants to be their third sister!
Jackee Harris called in to everyone’s delight and the twins reveal she taught them how to laugh like a diva! Andy reveals Tur-mona, the turtle is not feeling well. 🙁 The game is Hundred Thousand Dollar Pyra-Twin and the girls won a Siamese Twin “Mazel” t-shirt! The twins reveal their favorite Housewives; Tia likes NeNe Leakes and Tamera is a Kyle fan! Andy dubs Patti Stanger “Jackhole of the Week” (which hopefully means canceled!) for her offensive comments about gays and Jews! The poll question is: What was your first impression of Brandi? Harmless or Trouble? And 85% of the viewers think Trouble! um… me too! That girl is up to no. good.
Next Week: Everyone thinks Brandi is a slut. Camille learns that $25,000 sunglasses exist, but she isn’t impressed unless you own 18 homes. Brandi possibly points out that Taylor is divorcing…
Thoughts on the episode and Brandi Glanville? Is Lisa sincere in her desire to help Taylor and do you think she leaked the story? Does Kyle have an ulterior motive for disliking Brandi, like maybe because she took Faye Resnick’s spot on the show? Do you think Kim was under the influence during the Sacramento trip?