She really is the girl next door! The Real Housewives of Dallas has found a keeper in Stephanie Hollman, who is bringing a little bit of ârealâ to Reality TV, yet managing to entertain us along the way. All without screaming in another womanâs face, demanding apologies from people for 16 straight weeks, or forcing her âjourneyâ down our throats. How does she do it? According to Stephanie, who I got a chance to chat with this week, itâs about being who you are â cameras or no cameras. Below, Stephanie breaks down her reality, whether itâs true friendship with Brandi Redmond, firm boundaries with LeeAnne Locken, or how her spiritual upbringing keeps her sane today. Â
How has life changed since your debut on RHOD? Â âI will say itâs been very hard. Even before the first episode came out, people were harsh. But now Iâve been getting 95% positive feedback from Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. I stay off of other websites because I feel like people will take time to be negative rather than positive.â
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Who is the most genuine on and off camera? Â âBrandi Redmond. I talked to her this morning and told her, âYou just let it all hang out!â She doesnât hold back. Sheâs let people into parts of her life that arenât so pretty, which is hard because you can get a lot of criticism. It takes a really strong, vulnerable person to do that.â
âYou know, I think Americans, we relate to people who are struggling. Especially on these shows where you are married with kids and having problems in your marriage, like all of us do, or our kids going crazy. Marriage is hard, and having children is just an added element. Travis and I have to work on our marriage because life can just become about getting stuff done, and children, and work. I mean, my kids throw tantrums. My lifeâs not perfect. I think we, as women, need to give ourselves permission to not have a âperfectâ life. Weâre too hard on ourselves.â
How has the show affected your friendship with Brandi?  âI would say itâs the same. Whenever you have a microscope on anything, I think you have to put more work into it. But with the show, and with her showing some hard times, Iâm always calling and checking in on her. Itâs hard when you have people you donât know wanting to tell you what to do in your family and your marriage. I mean, I was on Twitter yesterday and some lady was calling my children âidiots,â and Iâm like wait! Theyâre 3 and 5! Theyâre children! It took all I could do to not get online and tell her what I thought.âÂ
âBut between Brandi and I, itâs brought us closer together because we are the only ones that understand what each other are going through. I think we hold on to each other a little tighter now. Weâre each otherâs biggest cheerleaders too. I want good things for her. Thereâs no competitiveness with us. Weâre both happy for each otherâs successes, and weâre equally there for each other when weâre struggling.â
How do you reconcile real life with the need to bring drama to the show? âItâs kind of sad. I get criticized all the time for not having a backbone, but Iâm like, how does being nice and caring about other peopleâs feelings a bad thing? I have to remember that my children may look at this when theyâre older one day. Maybe Iâm not perfect, but I want them to see that at least I tried to do the right thing.â
What would viewers be surprised to learn about you?  âWith the showâs emphasis on charity, I wish they would have let me highlight my background in social work. I was in social services for 6 years before I met my husband, and I wish I couldâve talked about that so people donât just think I hang out all the time talking about pooping and farting!âÂ
âThey [the show] made it about charity, but didnât really make it about the important things in life. They made it about charity in a negative sense too, with one woman telling everyone else how she thinks the charity world works. A lot of us are in the charity world, but weâre just not as vocal about it because when you make it about yourself, youâre defeating the reason why people do the work.âÂ
Youâre talking about LeeAnne and her charity obsession, right? Â âYeah. I think her comments gave organizations and people who do the work a bad name. It made it look like charity was this exclusive world, but itâs work that anyone can be involved in.â
âI worked for Head Start, and at night worked at the Madonna House, a shelter for pregnant homeless women. A lot of them were domestic violence victims, which was why they were homeless. We helped them get back on their feet through their pregnancy, get away from their partner if needed. It was good. Really good. And I wish they [the show] would have focused more on things like that if they were going to go the âcharityâ route.â
Are you surprised by the showâs editing, knowing what was filmed versus the package delivered to viewers?  âI was a little surprised because sometimes they minimized things that happened. I do bring that up in the reunion. At one point when I was yelled at [by LeeAnne], they kind of took away what had happened in the beginning. Sometimes they make edits to make the storyline better, but it can get kind of hurtful when youâve lived it.âÂ
âI told our producer Iâm very grateful that the show portrayed me for who I am, but I never really liked the idea of RHOD going so heavy on charity work because I really feel like itâs such a personal thing. If we do a season 2, I hope they cut back on that. We are not the voice of âDallas Charity,â nor should we be.â
What does RHOD bring to the Housewives franchise that is different from the other cities? Â âYou know, I think there is a comedic spin our city has that the otherâs donât have. Even the drama is so ridiculously silly. All of us are a little goofy and self deprecating, and I think it shows on screen. And I hope itâs a show you can watch, then go to bed afterwards. That you donât have to watch something happy to get out of a bad head space. Because Iâve watched Housewives shows before where I have to literally stay up and watch Comedy Central afterwards for 30 minutes just to calm down! It can get so heavy.â
You gave us a peek into your family of origin, who brought you up in an Evangelical Christian church. What is their reaction to this show? Â âMy family is so, so sweet. I am not from a wealthy family. My grandpa is a greeter at Walmart, and a lot of the reason I did this show is to help him out financially. It sounds awkward, but my husband works for our family â I donât want him to have to take care of my family. I just wanted to make my own money to help my grandparents out.â
âMy grandpa is still on his feet all day, greeting people in a small town in Oklahoma, but heâs told everybody at Walmart about it [the show]. He called me the other day and said, âYour ratings are gonna go way up because everybody at Walmart is watching your show!â (laughs) I was like, aww! I donât think thatâs how it works, but thank you!â
âMy mom prays a lot. Sheâs a really good sounding board. Sometimes, I will have her watch the episodes with me, especially if I am struggling writing my blog. Even before taping the reunion, I called her and we prayed. My family is very religious, but theyâre not the kind of religious people who turn their back on you if you fall. Theyâre very forgiving and very loving. They want me to be happy. And for a long time in my life, I wasnât. I can even say that going into this show, I lived my life for everybody elseâs happiness, not my own. I was a people pleaser to the point where it was unhealthy. But my mom and family literally took off work during the reunion to pray together. I mean, they just believe in some prayer!â
Whatâs Travisâ reaction to how heâs been portrayed on the show?  âHeâs been really supportive. He knew going in that they needed a little bit of ridiculousness. But heâs been a team player. I feel like Iâm more protective of him than he is of himself. He doesnât really care what people think of him, which is so weird because Iâm so opposite. He thinks this is a good thing for me because I kind of gave up my career and social life when we had children.âÂ
âWe also got therapy the entire time while we are filming, which helps too. And we still do because things will come up in the episodes, and itâs good to have a neutral party help us discuss things.â
Has Travisâ micromanaging decreased? Â âIt has! Honestly, this show has been one of the best things thatâs happened to my marriage â even if thatâs sick and twisted! It gave us a new perspective. Heâs such a manager, and sometimes I donât have a voice. I would get mad at him for something I would never acknowledge or talk about. But now we both look at life differently. He watches it and sees how he needs to be softer with me, and I need to speak up for what I want instead of thinking heâs going to read my mind.â
âAnd with the women on the show, I really need to work on boundaries.â
Speaking of boundaries, do you feel like you have boundaries in place with LeeAnne now?  âI think you will see at the reunion especially that there are some boundaries. And filming with LeeAnne, I saw her as somebody that was very scary to me. I didnât trust her, and I donât get into relationships with friends unless I feel like itâs a safe, healthy place for me to be. Iâm not still completely there with her.âÂ
âAt first I thought I would hurt LeeAnne if I said what I wanted because she seemed like such a lost, hurt, emotionally unstable person. Then I realized that if I didnât set boundaries up, she would take advantage of me. With LeeAnne, I noticed there is definitely a pattern. She gets upset, then lashes out, screams and makes a big scene, then becomes apologetic. But then she puts the blame on her past. Itâs like a circle that keeps going and going. And itâs no way to live.â
Any teasers for tonightâs episode? Â âTonightâs episode shows a really horrible experience that happened off camera concerning Cary Deuber. And itâs the one thing that made me kind of done with LeeAnne. Tonight is the night where I finally draw a line in the sand with her. It was just so abusive, and that is something I do not tolerate with friends or any relationships.â
TELL US: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF STEPHANIE THIS SEASON ON RHOD?Â
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