Last night the ladies of Real Housewives of New York continued to glamp in the muck of Montana. The country air doesn't seem to be doing much to restore their constitutions, but it does seem to be causing them a great, aggrieved case of boredom. I have no idea how long they were stranded out there – alone, in luxury cabins, without butlers and forced to clear their own breakfast dishes – but one thing is for sure: Kristen Taekman is a horrible hostess!
It seems that Kristen can't do anything right. She can't make the air conditioner cool enough to quell Ramona Singer's hot flashes. She can't find someone to fillSonja Morgan's bed – and Sonja has resorted to wearing underwear. She can't get Heather Thomson to take her seriously or care what she thinks. And worst of the worst of the worst of all – she can't get anyone to Geocache!
Oh Vicki Gunvalson – after eight or so seasons of Vicki annoying the piss out of us (see what I did there – cause Vicki peed her pants), she's getting counseling and emerged a wiser, more self-confident, and self-aware woman. And she's spreading her messages to the masses.
On last night's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County we entered an alternate universe of housewifery where Vicki was preaching about learning from mistakes, taking ownership, and in general being a happier person less concerned with what others think. Either Brooks' falsie-affirmations are working (the power of believing, yo!) or counseling is, but whatever – we'll take it. And I'll also take a Vicki G spinoff called The Love Tank Whisperer.
Vicki took her love tank restructuring seminar to Puerto Vallarta and invited Shannon Beador and her imploding marriage along. It takes a brave woman to take a disaster on vacation and still focus on the fun! Shannon and David are in a tailspin of dysfunction with Shannon digging in and clinging tightly to an evaporating David who is floating farther and farther out in the metaphorical sea.
Last night on Ladies of London the women took a trip to Mapperton. We had shooting, Sandwiches, questionable table manners, and several awkward moments. But, in the end they hugged it out.
We begin with an intense yoga session with Marissa Hermer and Julie. It looks painful and there’s talk about looseness, which I’m trying to forget. Julie isn’t just a yoga instructor, she also our seventh Lady. And she’s an actual Lady…of Hinchingbrooke. She tells us that her life is like a fairy tale. She came to the UK from the Midwest and met her knight, the soon-to-be Earl of Sandwich. Every little girl’s dream. She actually seems pretty down to earth for someone with a title.
Marissa and Julie discuss the upcoming trip to Julie’s in-law’s estate, Mapperton. Annabelle Neilson will of course be attending since she’s a longtime friend of the family. She’s always out there shooting. AndJuliet Angus better watch out because she’s a good shot. Speaking of little Daisy Duke, Julie is worried about her attending. We get a flashback to the “keep being ruder” moment. So nasty and so ruder. Marissa and Julie agree that Juliet and Annabelle should be kept far apart. As if that will happen.
I am really in total shock after last night's Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta! Benzino was shot? On the way to his mother's funeral? I was certainly not expecting that to happen. Oh wait. Of course, I knew that the horrible incident occurred, but I was admittedly surprised that it was covered on the show–as if Mona knew it was going to happen all along. I wonder how much all the re-shoots and additional scenes cost the network in production. Anyone care to make a wager? I did notice that Benzino's injured arm must be recovering well because in the slow motion scene where he's running to his car because he's carrying his luggage with it. That part had to have been filmed after the fact, right?
Karlie Redd and Erica Dixon are catching up over manicures, and Erica reveals that she kicked O'Shea to the curb…literally. He just had to stand on the curb and whine since his car was out of gas. She was tired of being his piggy bank. The women gossip about all of Althea's conquests. Erica dishes that Ho-thea had a night with Stevie J., and Karlie is laughing because she was also with Mimi Faust's Nikko. There seems to be a lot of cross pollinating going on with this crew. Karlie can't wait to share the news withJoseline Hernandez. That's what friends are for! I think all of these ladies need to broaden their romantic horizons. Certainly Stevie, 'Zino, and Nikko aren't the only players in Atlanta!
Last night's Sister Wives focused on the teens. Kody Brown has a lot to say about his kids being in relationships, but I think all of the Brown children have good heads on their shoulders. Added bonus? We didn't have to see as much of Robynwhining or Meri complaining about her wet bar. Score!
Janelle is meeting with trainer Sean, and she's struggling with her plateau. She's ready to start losing again even though Kody has never said a word about her weight. Sean is disappointed that Janelle hasn't continued with her thirty day healthy eating challenge, and she acknowledges that she's an emotional eater and a procrastinator.
Where has the time gone? Logan is a sophomore at UNLV, and he's living with a couple who is dating. Off campus housing and a girl roommate? Props to you, Logan! Kody and his wives are very proud of Logan and they note that he doesn't come home very often. Logan is a good kid, and he admits that he's dating and socializing and hugging and kissing girls outside of marriage. Janelle trusts Logan's judgment, but Kody wishes he could impose a "no touching" rule until marriage on all of his kids.
Sunday's night's episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians was very different from the normal bad acting and over the top orchestrated storylines..or was it?Kim Kardashian andKris Jennertraveled to Vienna and had the holiday from hell, but on a happier note we heard baby North giggling & even saw the back of her head at one point! Also in a completely shocking turn of events, Khloe Kardashian did not say vagina once. I'm serious. She has outgrown it, and has moved on to repeatedly saying c*ck.. this girl must have Tourette's.
Things kick off with Kim negotiating wedding details with Mason and a silent Penelope. Kim decides to bore her sisters to tears upgrade from infants and starts to talk weddings with her sisters. So far on the Kardashian-West circus wedding there are whispers of Parisian churches, luxurious chateaus and three costume changes. I think she has a ‘what would Elizabeth Taylor do’ type of theme – opulent, extravagant and over the top. I mean she is like Elizabeth Jr., already on to her third marriage! The real shocker was that Kim wants to wear all white; something tells me after three marriages it's time to retire the all-white gown. Isn't that customary? #EmilyPost
Last night was the series premiere of Million Dollar Listing Miami. Which means new sharks, new million dollar high stakes deals, and lots more drool-worthy properties. All of that, plus the beach! SOLD! I wonder if any of our former Real Housewives of Miami ladies will be making an appearance?
We start out by meeting Chris Leavitt, whose motto is work smart, not hard. Chris prefers to conduct his phone meetings from his office, the bath tub, which he says is also his therapist. Among his most important strategies for being a top dollar agent is looking good, and being the type of person his clients want to hang out with. I mean clearly it's working because 2 minutes into the show Chris and his Oscar the Grouch eyebrows are my favorite. #CallMe
Chris, who grew up on the east coast, strives to bring "Northeast class" to the Miami new money market. He does most of his business in the exclusive enclave of Bar Harbor, which is old money and new money home of Miami's most fabulous – and wealthy.
All I can say is that I am SO RELIEVED that the names of our subjects this week are a bit easier to spell than last week… why do people like to make up names/ spell normal names oddly just to make them different? Is the world so inundated with names that people feel the need to change the spelling just to be hipster?
The synopsis of tonight’s show reads as follows: “A woman searches for answers about a man she met online”. At this point, I feel as if the plot summaries should say something like “tonight, you’ll find the same plot that happened last week magically happens again this week”. Folks, I love this show, but that’s the basic gist of it.