On last night’s episode of Bethenny Ever After, the Skinnygirl team headed to Aspen for the launch of Skinnygirl White Cranberry Cosmo. Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy continued to wrestle over whether or not Jason should work for Skinnygirl and Bethenny got a reminder of what it was like to be single and twenty-two again.
Things begin, oh I don’t even know where they began? What were they even doing? Oh that’s right… hanging out on the street corner! Which seems as close to Bethenny‘s natural habitat as a cougar in the city can get! Bethenny is buying art for the new apartment and congratulating herself on being such a renegade, so cutting edge. She spends thousands – ON STREET ART! No one rich in the history of the world has ever done that. Well, at least according to Bethenny’s revisionist history.
Bethenny buys a American Flag painting. I’m not sure why. It was hideous and looked like it was a papier-mâché accident. I kept waiting for her to try and commission one with the Skinnygirl logo on it. Which actually would’ve been neat. She could hang it in the office.
The eighth season of The Bachelorette vows to be unlike any other. The famewhore making the decisions this season is Emily Maynard. America’s sweetheart, America’s famewhore, same difference. You probably remember Emily from Brad Womack’s second season. Brad’s the frequent-flyer bachelor who handed out roses in both seasons 11 and 15 of The Bachelor. His second attempt at true love ended with him proposing to Emily. Emily accepted Brad’s proposal, but her ridiculously high expectations and naiveté quickly wilted the relationship.
Emily is a single mom. And, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but she was engaged once before Brad. She was engaged to Ricky Hendrick, of NASCAR fame, in 2004. Sadly, on a rainy Sunday afternoon in October of the same year, Ricky boarded a plane sans an ill-feeling Emily. The plane crashed, leaving behind a pregnant Emily. Now, Emily is a single mom looking for true love on The Bachelorette. Even though it didn’t work for her the first time around, she “knows the series works.” Because, you know, that 17% success rate is a great testament of the true love that comes from appearing on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. I’m obviously grading on a curve, here. I’m including Trista Sutter, Jason Mesnick, by way of U-turn, Ashley Hebert, and Ben Flajnik, who is still collecting money on the deal.
As the couples make their way down the stairs, it looked like Derek almost slipped. Is it wrong to admit that it would’ve been the most exciting thing to happen all season? Although, there’s that whole rumored sex tape of William’s.
William and Cheryl are up first with a tango set to Sweet Dreams. I secretly wish they would’ve used Marilyn Manson’s version to shake things up. I’m sure it wouldn’t make for a good tango, but still would’ve been entertaining. Len says he hasn’t been this excited since his mum put him in long trousers. Bruno nearly jumps over the judge’s table giving his feedback, as he always does. Carrie Ann says that their lines were gorgeous, but gives criticism and the audience boos.
*Sigh* When I started watching the Real Housewives of Orange County way back when I was intrigued by the wealthy and fantastical lifestyles of women very different from me. As Real Housewives of Atlanta and Real Housewives of New Jersey came onto the Housewives scenes, they were my two favorites of the franchise. They were light-hearted, silly, and kooky – and I loved the genuine friendships along with the realistic seeming issues between friends.
As with Atlanta, no one on this show likes each other anymore. It’s painful and obvious that even the supposed friendship scenes are fabricated and the ladies are dialing it in. Additionally, I am very tired of the husbands dominating the storyline. This is a show about Housewives – I don’t care about your hubby. If they are that interested in being housewives, get a sex change!
Last night was the season finale of Mob Wives, and one never knows what is going to happen with this rowdy group of women…especially since there’s a dreaded meeting between to women who have a penchant for beating the poo out of each other.
Renee Graziano and Drita D’Avanzo meet for cocktails to discuss everything that has been going on in their lives. Drita relays the news that Lee will not be transferred to a prison in Brooklyn. Renee outlines her father’s plea deal, and she is relieved that the other people that Junior affected didn’t get much time. Renee has also scheduled the meeting between Drita and Karen Gravano for the following day. Drita is willing to go so the pair can move forward, but she doesn’t want Karen rehashing the past. Good luck with that!
Last night was the two hour finale of Survivor, and it’s a battle among the last ladies standing. Jeff Probst recaps the season’s highlights, including Colton Cumbie’s rise to power and prompt demise and the ladies’ ultimate come back.
It’s the thirty-sixth night on the beach, and the women have voted off the last man. Alicia is very confident in her friendship with Kim, but I think she may be tooting her own horn a tad too early. The following day, Sabrina and Kim collect the tree-mail. Kim approaches Sabrina about voting off Chelsea next, as she’s worried Chelsea will garner lots of jury votes. While she plays cool, Sabrina is shocked that Kim is targeting her best friend because she’s popular with the castoffs. However, it does make the likeable Sabrina wonder if she’s next on the chopping block. No one is worried about the jury voting for Alicia and Christina. I have now decided I either want Chelsea or Sabrina to win. Only took me an entire season to make that wishy washy determination…
The immunity challenge is pretty intense. After untying several knotted ropes to get through a makeshift gate, each player must race along a balance beam maze, and must start back at the beginning in the event they fall. After the maze, they will traverse a giant rope net collecting bags of (what else?) puzzle pieces. The assembled puzzles will give three number clues the women must use to unlock a combination which will free their flags. Christina is the first out of the gate, followed by Kim. They are also the first to fall off to start again. Alicia finishes the maze first with Chelsea right on her heels. Chelsea is the first to collect her bags, but everyone is neck and neck on the puzzle. Sabrina falls behind, but Kim and Chelsea are neck and neck. Kim assembles her puzzle first, followed by Alicia. Kim can’t get her combination right, and after multiple tries, she returns to the puzzle. Alicia follows suit. Kim, Chelsea, and Alicia are all up working on their combinations at the same time, and Kim finally gets it right, winning immunity.
I must say that I love the conversations between Kim and KJ. Poor kid doesn’t even know he’s part of reality history…but at least he gets to wear a sweet cap. Kim’s excited about planning the wedding, but her mother is causing her major stress. Brielle is having her hair did done for her homecoming dance. Holy crap, for my high school dances, I didn’t have hair and make-up, I had my mom zipping up my JC Penny’s dress…and that’s it. Kim threatens Brielle’s boyfriend of two months, asking if he’s ever grabbed her daughter’s butt. Brielle can’t win, stating she’s never made out with her beau, but she has pecked him on the mouth. Kim is dreading having so many kids and parents at her house pre-dance, but it’s adorable to see Kroy’s relationship with his soon-to-be stepdaughter.
There are four very talented artists left on American Idol. Viewers are reminded that the final three get the homecoming of a lifetime. The event is marked with stellar judge and past winner performances. It’s almost time to crown the nation’s newest star. Pretty exciting stuff! Equally exciting? Ryan Seacrest seems to be feeling much better. The audience even gets treated to tickets for the upcoming tour.
The final four perform a Mamas and Papas tribute. It’s great, and reminds me again how badly I wish I could sing a note. Product placement abounds, and a Ford video is shown. The final contestants are excited to be in a commercial…it’s electric! Everyone touts saving the environment with Ford’s new electric car. It’s a cute video, but let’s get to the results please! Phillip Phillips is the first to face the music (literally). He sang “Have You Ever Seen the Rain” and gains mad praise from the judges. Randy Jackson calls his performance pitchy to start, but he certainly comes into his own. Jimmy loved it. His next time on stage, singing “Volcano” Randy touts that he’s listen to it all day long on his headphones. Jimmy is beyond impressed. Ryan sends him back to sofa to wait it out a little longer. Of course he does…