Recaps

Lauren Wirkus freaks out

On last night’s Summer House we met the newest housewife Jaclyn Shuman, and Do. Not. Like. So far. Sorry.  Also, Lauren Wirkus got a first glimpse of the sleaze-o-rama that is Carl Radke, and Kyle Cooke finally, officially, had his last bootycall with the foolish Amanda. Well that’s what he says anyway.

But first we must break-down the hot tub wrestling match that went on between Kyle and Everett Weston the night before. Ashley Wirkus has never seen water slash so high as when Everett threw it at Kyle’s slurring mouth. Ashley – you could walk to the beach which is probably like 8 feet from you. She crashes Lauren and Kyle’s slumber party to reveal the details of the fight. She’s shocked Everett got so worked up over Kyle trying to simmer down his argument with Lindsay Hubbard.

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Teen Mom 2 recap

Is anyone else tired of watching a reality show where the stars share only certain parts of their life they are comfortable with and demand privacy on others? They signed up for a reality show and collect a paycheck to show their lives, good and bad, right? Well, on last night’s episode of Teen Mom 2, there is one instance where I think privacy is allowed (even if you’re Jenelle Evans) and that’s announcing your pregnancy.

Unless you have been living under a rock, we all know that Jenelle is pregnant again with boyfriend David Eason. For all you rock dwellers, you get to see her denial of the situation play out in front of the cameras. While I don’t think Jenelle handled it in a way that helped her haters any, I can understand why she wouldn’t want to announce she’s pregnant before she is at a place she’s comfortable with. Every woman should be allowed to do that, even a Teen Mom none of us can stand.

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Jax Gets Roasted

Really Vanderpump Rules has come down to a Fund-Rager and a contrived roast of Jax Taylor, which coincidentally happened while Brittany Cartwright‘s extra-crispy mama is in town? It’s so contrived. All of it. And it really frosts my lipstick.

But first, it’s Tom 1‘s party and everyone will cry if they want to, cry if they want to – you would cry too if these friends happened to you! The boys really got the birthday shafts, didn’t they – the girls got trips to Montauk and NASCAR, and they get made fun of and forced to do charity work. HA.

Well, Tom turned an indeterminate shade of 30 and celebrated not by raising awareness for himself or his attuned and wrinkle-free skin, but by inviting all of his friends to donate their easily-earned money to charity. Kristen Doute brought her crisp $20, handed it to the collection emcee and announced that now she has full-license to be bad for all eternity in exchange for this one good deed. Jax didn’t have that luck – his card was declined when he tried to give a measly $100. His karma, as always, remains, in despair.

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Celebrity Big Brother recap

We’re back to the day of the Celebrity Big Brother eviction. Stacy Francis and Jessica Cunningham are trying to talk out their disagreement and getting nowhere quickly. Stacy has a slightly different recollection to the incident than Jessica (and the cameras who kindly recapped). I say slightly, I mean majorly. Stacy‘s version strangely did not involve screaming and swearing. Needless to say, they give up without resolution.

Nicola McLean and Spencer Pratt are talking about Kim Woodburn and how quiet she’s been over the last few days. Spencer notes that behavior like that, just trying to get arguments and playing the game, is hard to keep up, and says that he tried it for three weeks and struggled.

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sister wives sofa

Where is Tamron Hall?? Last night’s Sister Wives Tell All was mediated by Andrea Canning, and it was, as it always is….lame. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed reliving the highlights from the season given that this season focused mainly on the older children.

With nary an introduction, the crew jumps immediately into Madison and Caleb’s wedding. A Caleb fan club is formed. The parents are beyond proud and the young couple is revered. Kody Brown’s officiating the ceremony but forgetting the rings is recalled. Robyn and Christine tout their newfound sister wife friendship after an issue with Kody that is never fully explained. When pressed about the argument that solidified the bond, Christine throws out phrases like “super mad” while Robyn nods (a lot). Kody jokes that his wives get upset with him for the most minor of infractions. Do I still have a pulse? I hope so, because I have nearly an hour of watching ahead of me!

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Kenya

Well, Real Housewives Of Atlanta started out nicely, didn’t it? Of course, after Jesus fixed things up nice, it went straight down to hell in a hand basket over dinner! Get your prayer cloths and holy water to the fires, y’all!

I, for one, loved seeing Phaedra Parks and Kenya Moore get their glamour and their good intentions on to drive to Detroit in a vintage convertible, letting the shade fly out the window like one of Kenya’s alleged weaves. Phaedra and Kenya are about to spend a week roughing it with children affected by the Flint water crisis at summer camp.

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cbb1

It’s Day 16 on Celebrity Big Brother – the morning after the fight and Kim still shows no remorse in the diary room.  She has decided it’s all Nicola’s fault (or Nicole, ‘cos she refuses to use her proper name) and hasn’t quite clicked that if everyone else is saying one thing, and she’s saying the other, they may have a point.  As one of my fave housewives once said “Take this as a moment to look inside yourself and see that if everyone says your dead, it’s time to lie down”.  But no, it’s a conspiracy, orchestrated by ‘Nicole’.  I give up.  Even the fact that Jessica is the only person to greet her when she comes back in the house, it’s not enough to make Kim even doubt herself.

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It’s the day of James Jordan’s eviction from Celebrity Big Brother, and the recap takes us from the morning before he goes, through the eviction, and to the after-math. Tad confusing but do-able.

We start with Spencer Pratt being uber polite to Kim Woodburn and she just point blank ignores him like a buzzing gnat. I am actually liking Spencer and Heidi Pratt this season – something I never thought I’d say, but it does appear they are a lot quieter, or maybe the house in general is a lot louder. Same with Jedward, apart from the occasional featuring of them in some ‘let’s pretend’ game, the airtime they get is minimal. So perhaps we do have something to be grateful to Kim for…

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