Recaps

Summer House - Cristina

I think I understand why Kyle Cooke drinks so much on Summer House, because I would have to be drunk to survive friendships with these people. In the center of all of last night’s drama was the fractured friendship of Cristina Gibson and Lindsay Hubbard.

Ugh these two. Ugh all these twos. Especially Lindsay and Everrett Weston.

After Lindsay drunkenly announced that Cristina was fired from her job, she got in a car and slapped Everett in the face for “being rude.” This erupted into a house-wide drunken fight during which Kyle just slurred “sorry” at a bag of chips approximately 300 times, until Everett dumped Lindsay, who hid under the covers until Ashely Wirkus came to console her.

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Katie and Scheana fight

You guys, it’s Katie Maloney‘s life, she can ruin it if she wants to, but everyone else better cheer, clap, and act happy! Frankly I’m confused about what’s even going on with Vanderpump Rules. It is all over the place – like we went from church to Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval trying on Lisa Vanderpump‘s bras to dress in drag for Tom Schwartz‘s bachelor party. Read that sentence back to yourself and tell me this show isn’t perplexing?

Last episode ended with SUR’s Aging Warriors stalking and harassing James Kennedy. This episode opens with everyone acting like it was so stupid that anyone would even bother stalking and harassing James Kennedy. Like, DUH! Obviously!

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Teen Mom 2 recap

On this episode of Teen Mom 2, Leah Messer finally takes the girls on the vacation she’s been talking about (to everyone but her exes), Chelsea Houska sends Aubree off to her first day of first grade, Kailyn Lowry officially files for divorce from Javi Marroquin, and Jenelle Evans decides to announce her pregnancy to the world that is already fully aware, thanks to a police report.

Not surprising to anyone, Leah couldn’t get the kids’ passports back on time so her plans to go to Mexico are out of the question. Ex Jeremy Calvert is relieved to hear this, as he’s been worried from the jump about what a dangerous place a family-friendly resort on the coast of Mexico could be. So California it is!

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cbb final

So here it is, after many days, nights and even more arguments, the Celebrity Big Brother final.

A short recap to it, as the majority of the program was taken up with ejecting housemates, and their interviews. We see the finalists spend part of their final day with Popcorn and Recaps of their own, whilst they wait their fate.

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jedward

It’s Day 30 on Celebrity Big Brother – nearly there! – and Big Brother is up to his normal tricks of causing issues galore.

Jedward are in the bath together. One is covering the other’s “mid-section” in bubbles. Odd. Kim Woodburn is in the diary room, slating – guess who?! – yup, that’s it, Nicola McLean. And James Cosmo. And the “gang.” #deluded When Jedward saw their argument on screen the night before, they did look suitably awkward. Kim, saw nothing wrong. Scary.

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Celebrity Big Brother recap

It’s Day 29 in the Celebrity Big Brother house. The housemates are woken up by rock music from the 1980s – it feels like this series started around then, not just 29 days ago.

The day’s task is Rockstars and Roadies. ‘The Housemate Mayhem’ band – consisting of Jedward and Nicola McLean – get all the power as the rest of the housemates are roadies that have to do whatever the rockstars order.

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Celebrity Big Brother

It is Day 28 on Celebrity Big Brother, and we are bracing ourselves for another live eviction. The vote is for the winner, so the person with the least votes will be out, just before the final.

Calum Best is in the diary room venting about Jedward. Apparently, Edward tends to do the one liners, where John gets really angry and disrespectful. To be fair, that is the only way I can tell them apart; I have slightly more toleration to Edward – he can speak a couple of words more than his brother before my stomach goes. Only a couple mind you.

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Celebrity Big Brother recap

It’s Day 27 and Day 2 of Final Judgment in the Celebrity Big Brother house, and one of the nominated housemates will be leaving. We start the program with Kim Woodburn in the diary room talking about lust. Really? Far too early for that, and this show airs at 9 PM.

Jedward are in the bathroom singing the Going Commando song. Like you do when you’re teaching a child to pee in the potty. Personally, I can’t wait for the “we are leaving the house and vanishing into obscurity again” song. I’d actually pay for that one.

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