We are one episode away from the Don’t Be Tardy finale. Are y’all as stoked as I am? That said, after next week, I’ll spend months wondering if Brielle is really trying navigate Los Angeles all by her lonesome, as well as what curse words KJ has added to his vocabulary! Let’s get started with the recap, shall we?
On the eve of their trip to Los Angeles, Shun swings by the Zolciak-Biermann abode to help style Brielle for her big break. Kim reveals that not only will the mother-daughter duo be visiting E! News, they will also be apartment hunting. Kim divides her time between fawning over Brielle’s fashion and hounding Slade about he’ll survive if his lady love moves permanently to the West Coast. Gloria is taking some time off from being Kim’s bitch assistant so that she can get married. While it’s the most inopportune time for Kim, she’s happy for Gloria. Chef Tracy goad Gloria about how easy her job is, and she offers to do it ten times better in Gloria’s absence. Gloria wishes her luck with an eye roll. Who thinks this chick will make it another season? Wait, why do I expect there to be another season?
It’s been a season of ups and downs for the Little Women: LA cast. We’ve had it all: newbies who like to stir the pot, Little Boss behavior on fleek, gynecologist appointments that left us visually traumatized, and secret marriages to questionable men. And now it’s time to rehash it all on part one of the 2-part LWLA reunion! Tracey Edmonds hosts the show and asks the ladies the tough questions we’ve wanted answers to for months. Plus, a special guest makes an appearance to clear things up about Matt’s proclivity for sexting nude pics to women who are not his wife.
First of all, the production value of this reunion versus last year’s is much improved. The teams seem to be seated according to alliances, reminiscent of Housewives reunion arrangements. On couch left of screen, we have Elena Gant, Tonya Banks, Christy McGinity, and Terra Jole. To Tracey’s right, we have Briana Manson, Jasmine Sorge, and a blue-wigged Brittney Guzman. After they watch a montage clip of the season’s most dramatic highlights, Tracey asks what it’s been like watching this season back. Terra says she noticed it wasn’t her who started most of the drama this season. Tonya admits she saw herself saying things she didn’t realize she’d said. (Like “heifer” 1,000 times?)
“Somethin’ ’bout a boat, sittin’ on the sea; Out there in the wind, floatin’ on the free; Take you ’round the world, bring you back home; Gives a man hope, somethin’ ’bout a boat…Ain’t it crazy how somethin’ seems like nothin’ at all; Take a big old room, make it seem so small; Seein’ windows where there are walls, makes a whole lot of something out of nothin’ at all.” I admit it, these lyrics are in no way indicative of what we witnessed last night, but I love Jimmy Buffett, and he does use the word “crazy” which is applicable!
For the .07% of Bravo’s viewing population that wasn’t convinced that Raquel “Rocky” Dakota Bartlow is five-star crazy, last night’s Below Deck episode was just for you! It begins with Eddie Lucas putting out the kitchen fire and blaming the issue on Kate Chastain not taking the dirty pans out of the oven. Captain Lee Rosbach oversees the debacle as chef Leon Walker sleeps through the entire event. Kate tries to calm the guests who were awakened in the middle of the night by a fire alarm. The following morning, Amy Johnson can’t believe that Leon isn’t the least bit phased that his galley was up in flames the night before, and Connie Arias is shocked that Emile Kotze didn’t hear the ruckus. Rocky is quick dish to Leon that it was all Kate’s fault as Amy delivers breakfast in bed to the primary charter guest to start off his birthday celebration.
What a weird Real Housewives Of Orange Countyreunion; filled with a whole lot of nothing with a few juicy bits stuffed in between, hanging out here and there, kind of like the weird smooches of flesh hanging over the cut-outs of Tamra Judge‘s very complicated dress. Seriously – Forever XXII is for 21 year olds!
Overall this has been a very weird season of Real Housewives Of Orange County. It’s almost Old Testament in its Biblical ruthlessness of judgement and excoriating righting of wrongs. It’s an eye-for-an-eye, or in this case a Jesus Barbie for a Jesus Jugs.
Let’s just break down the important doo-dads before we get to Briana Culberson. Who Brooks is also threatening to sue!
On last night’s Ladies of London, the crew takes a trip to Baroness Caroline Fleming’s beautiful native country of Denmark. And a few of them are surprised to see just how much of a celebrity the Baroness is back in her homeland! Speaking of celebrity, Annabelle Neilson hooks up with long time friend and supermodel, Naomi Campbell, to walk the runway. Annabelle also stirs up some drama when she is asked to tell the group how she really feels about them on their trip. Spoiler alert: she’s not holding back!
Since the shooting party, the women have been moving forward with their lives. London’s fashion week is kicking off with a Fashion Relief for Ebola show in which Juliet Angus and Marissa Hermer are front row attendees. Juliet feels like she’s getting her fashion groove back on. After Naomi Campbell stomps the runway, Annabelle struts out later in a McQueen dress, looking every bit the pro she is. She’s been through a tough year after her horse accident, so this is an important moment for her. Marissa and Juliet like this lighter, fun Annabelle. She comes out post-show for hugs and humors Juliet and Marissa in some runway walk coaching. It’s light and goofy, as everything in this show should be! (More, please!)
Last night’s episode of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood showed the men stepping up to the plate…or, at least a couple of them! After Milesrevealed his secret to long time friend and one-time love Amber, she is leaning on friends and family for support. She can’t fault him for his feelings, and now she’s ready to hear Miles’ story. She calls him, and he admits to being with Milan. Amber is defensive and threatens to call Milan if he doesn’t come clean about the pair’s situation. He tells her that they are in a relationship, and she’s angry and hurt given that the three have often hung out together “as friends.” She warns him that she is going to get to the bottom of things…didn’t she just do that?
Teairra Mari and Moniece are getting manicures after ruining their nails during their altercation with Princess. Teairra rehashes her heated conversation with Ray-J. She is so over him…at least for this episode. She is looking into getting liposuction so she can feel confident with her body. Who needs exercise? Moniece thinks that her friend needs to do whatever it takes to feel good about herself. Lil’ Fizz is once again watching son Cameron even though it’s supposed to be Moniece’s time with their child. Fizz loves every moment spent with Cameron, but he hates disappointing his son whenever Moniece is a no-show.
Last night on Manzo’d With Children times were a’changin’ as Vito Scalia and Lauren Manzo told their parents it was time for them to claim some independence. Naturally that was just token gesture, and absolutely nothing will change.
The Manzo-Scalia bunch is still in Italy. For their final night in the paradise of Caroline Manzo‘s 1/16th dreams they are amid the splendors of a villa that is both a working farm and a restaurant. Alas it will be a nightmare for Vito Sr. and Denise when their blessed miracle Vicotta tells them the worst news they could imagine: he doesn’t want children he’s planning to open his own deli in Manhattan.
Woohoo! Reality Tea has gotten our K1 Visa approved to recap everyone’s favorite TLC trainwreck of a show: 90 Day Fiance! I got sucked into this unbelievably addictive show last season, and am already yelling at my TV each Sunday night (don’t judge!) as we wade into the season ahead, which promises to bring us more true love stories mixed up with a healthy dose of delusion, disillusionment, and grifting (can anyone say: Mohammed from season 2?). Let’s meet our players for season 3: Melanie and Devar, Mark and Nikki, Josh and Aleksandra, Loren and Alexei, Fernando and Carolina, and Kyle and Noon. Each of these couples must go through the process of bringing their non-US citizen fiancé to the country on a K1 Visa, which gives them exactly 90 days to get married. Let the countdown begin!
In episodes 1 and 2, we were introduced to almost all of the couples (at least in part), with the exception of Fernando and Carolina, who we’ll learn more about tonight. But before then, we pick up with possibly the most disturbing duo of all: 58-year old Mark and 19-year old Filipino native, Nikki. Mark raised four children on his own after his ex-wife, also Filipino, abandoned them years ago. So, he’s looking for love again…with a girl woman who is younger than all of his children, and could even be his grandchild. Mark’s daughter, Elise, thinks he should have a problem with this small little detail. Because she sure does.