Recaps

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The big pregnancy reveal is finally upon us! Cue extreme, shrieky jealousy in every non-pregnant cast member in 3…2…1… Since the news of Elena Gant and Preston expecting twins broke last week, it was only a matter of time before this season of Little Women: LA touched on the subject. And it looks like we’ll be finding out if Terra Jole and Tonya Banks can mend fences after their epic fight at Jasmine Sorge’s family restaurant last week. Christy McGinity Gibel inserts herself as peace maker – and pizza maker! – to try. 

We begin with Tonya and Elena at the furniture store testing out new sofas. They discuss Jasmine’s party, which Elena says revealed Terra’s true feelings about them: i.e., that she still has some issues (to put it mildly). Terra was hurt that Tonya didn’t support her through baby Penny’s spinal decompression surgery, and Tonya admits she did drop the ball. Elena claims she reached out to Terra during that time, but Terra said she didn’t need any help. Both Elena and Tonya want to apologize to Terra, regardless. Which is the grown woman thing to do.  

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The Mother Daughter Experiment kicks off!

Last night was the premiere of The Mother/Daughter Experiment, where six mother and daughter duos sought televised therapy to mend their complicated emotional issues. Becuase that always turns out well, right?!

Some of these participants, like Courtney Stodden (Couples Therapy) and Natalie Nunn (Marriage Bootcamp), have already done made-for-TV therapy. Judging by the results of Courtney’s boob job – seriously, are those things actually helium balloons??? – I would say round one was a failed experiment. Let’s hope round 2 improves things! 

Kim Richards and her daughter Kimberly Jackson arrive first. It’s clear that Kim is putting on an ‘I’m so not about drama’ act in the hopes that no one watching this show has also seen Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills (We have.). It turns out the moms and daughters have to share a room, which isn’t too weird for Kim and Kimberly who usually share a bed. Kimberly seems sweet and like she was bamboozled into doing this. 

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Lisa Vanderpump

I feel exhausted. Why can’t the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills just have fun together and be friends? This show is fabulous when everyone on it is fabulous: fabulously dressed, fabulously wealthy, fabulously living, fabulously connected, and fabulously friends. When they resort to low-level manipulative pandering of ‘take down storylines’ – take downs of the same woman, season after season, I might add –  it becomes unbearably trite.

I get it – no one in the 90210 zipcode and its surrounding areas can stand Lisa Vanderpump! She’s too busy having fun with ponies to sweat y’all’s smallstuff, though. 

In case you’ve forgotten Yolanda Foster has Lyme Disease, and the only part of her brain that remains in functioning order is the manipulative faction. Ain’t that aces for her reality TV career! She’s got some inexplicable issue with LVP that’s gonna play out again and again until the 4 tenors sing off-key.

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Katie confronts Stassi

Does anyone else feel like we’re missing something on Vanderpump Rules? Besides the obvious lack of maturity? It just  feels like we’re not getting the full story regarding Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix.

Everyone seems to really despise Tom and Ariana all of the sudden? I refuse to believe the “Dislike” button plaguing these two like a cloud of Axe Body Spray that you got zapped with by the Costco sample lady, is purely about all their friends suddenly loving Kristen Doute. Honestly, has anyone even given a reason for why they want to hang out with Kristen soooo badly. A reason other than “Kristen is FUN!”? Fun does not totally a friendship make.  

Other than Saint Kristen pulling of a coup d’etat by winning back the approval of the most-exalted masses of SUR, Stassi Schroeder‘s re-entry into the friend group is causing major anxiety for Jax Taylor and Scheana Marie, the two worst people in We-Ho!

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Last night on Little Women: Atlanta The Cheeks battled The Tiny Twins, and Minnie Ross revealed a shocking secret!

The twins are determined to become more independent. The first step is learning how to drive! Andrea and Amanda Salinas enroll in driving school where pedal extenders and special pillows are employed so they can reach the wheel and the brakes. Andrea even has to drive with both feet.

After a few nerve-wracking almost misses both twins feel like they’re getting the hang of driving. Yet they realize it will be a long time before they get a license and they still need to get around, which means bikes!

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Little Women: LA unleashed a big news item yesterday that will surely rock the worlds of every baby-thirsty castmate on its roster: Elena Gant is indeed pregnant with twins! She and Preston expect the babies in June and, so far, mom-to-be is healthy and happy. (No word on whether the babies have been determined to be little or average sized yet.) Yay for Elena and Preston! Not sure when the big reveal will happen on the current season’s timeline, but it sure throws some perspective on Elena’s anger at Jasmine Sorge not inviting her to that “mommy” party in episode one, does it not? Hmmm. Now, on to the show!

At Jasmine’s father’s restaurant, she and her hubby Chris are discussing how working there is going for him. It’s not his dream job, obviously, but until he finds in-state railroad work, it’ll do. In the spirit of extending an olive branch to Elena, Jasmine wants to invite all of the ladies and their significant others to a “couples” party at the restaurant. Chris admits it might feel awkward for him to be busing tables while the party ensues, but sweet guy that he is, says he’ll go with the flow for Jasmine’s sake. Dang, woman! Can’t you at least schedule this party on a night that the better other half of YOUR couple can attend as a guest!?  

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I’m not going to lie, watching last night’s Mob Wives was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do for this gig. I’ve recapped this show since it started, and I loved getting to see Big Ang’s fun-loving personality on her drama-free spin-off Big Ang. It’s so sad to recap Ang’s battle with cancer (and her co-stars’ ridiculous petty, immature, and bullish behavior) knowing the outcome. However, I poured a glass of wine, toasted Ang’s sass and class, and tried to keep the tears to a minimum…and I’m guessing a lot of you did the same!

When the episode begins, Drita D’avanzo is still raging at the thought that Karen Gravano is spreading lies about Lee, but she won’t let it spoil the high of her finishing the first draft of her memoir. She shares a precious exchange with daughter Giselle whose birthday is quickly approaching. All Giselle wants as a gift is a second puppy, but she knows her dad will be a tough sell. Drita does a role play where she pretends to be Lee so Giselle can practice her powers of persuasion. Get that adorable child another dog!

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Last night on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills no one was “really f–king good”. Loyalties were spread around like warm patè* and at the center of it all was the condescending smirk of Yolanda Foster

I do not like my Lisa Vanderpump fighting with my Eileen Davidson. Unequivocally my two favorite Housewives, I demand they become friends. Eileen is my Spirit Housewife, but Lisa is the Top Seat in my Fantasy Housewife League. I don’t have time for all the over-analyzing required of choosing sides. I blame Erika Jayne-Giradi and by default Yolanda for this. Erika had an extremely brief moment in the sun, didn’t she? 

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