Dont be tardy kim

On last night’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy, Kim Zolciak Biermann had to brave the mean streets of Los Angeles without the protection of chef Tracey husband Kroy Biermann. Of course, life of a wannabe momager isn’t always easy, and if she’s going to help skyrocket her twin Brielle and foul mouthed KJ into super stardom. Who do you think would win in a cage match between Kim and Kris Jenner?

The episode begins with Kim complaining about how often Tracey prepares fettuccine alfredo. Sure, Kim loves pasta and eats it everyday, but Kroy deserves something fancier in the kitchen. Tracey would love to get to use her actual culinary skills, but (shocker!), her talent is lost on the Biermanns. She admits that when she started cooking for the family, she made everything from scratch with fresh ingredients, but gave up when it became obvious that they preferred canned crap. Tracey cites being the Biermanns’ cook has been the most difficult experience of her career…and she was on Top Chef. Kroy insists he’s a foodie, although he’s never heard of exotic foods such as flank steak and tomatoes. Tracey promises to wow them with an upscale menu when they return from Los Angeles. They are taking Brielle to meet with Access Hollywood and have arranged for two huge casting agencies to fight over who will reap the benefits of KJ’s future celebrity.


Little Women LA Season Finale

Call me a cynic, but I think this season of Little Women: LA was extended for the express purpose of showcasing Terra Jole’s first training session for Dancing With The Stars, which she does on last night’s finale. The issues between Christy McGinty Gibel, Briana Renee, and Terra were pretty much corked up during Tonya Banks’ survival retreat last week, after all.

But production Elena Gant thinks it might be worth one more try! So she gets the ladies together for a “land sailing” day in one final attempt to heal that which will never be healed: The bruised egos within this group. (Does anybody else get the sense that this might be Elena’s final swan song on LWLA? She seems Totally. Over. It.) Despite the one-track storyline of Christy v. Everybody this season, I do still hold out hope for this show, which I’ve truly loved watching over the years. So c’mon, ladies, rally! I just can’t quit you!



Say #What?  Survivor‘s post-Halloween episode tonight was fittingly part trick and part treat, ending on what may just be the most shocking and intense blindside yet this season.  Jeff Probst promised the game-play was going to ramp up as this season progressed, and he has uncharacteristically not over-hyped things thus far.

We’re going to get into everything that went down tonight, and analyze the shocking end of the episode that surely will create ripple effects through the rest of the season.  Here’s your second-to-last spoiler warning, so stop reading if you have yet to watch Episode 7 of Survivor.


Dance Moms

Thank you, Lifetime! My prayers have been answered. Last night’s Dance Moms episode was only an hour long. Finally! I never thought this day would come! We are back to some semblance of structure. Abby Lee Miller is actually present for the pyramid! If that’s not enough, Jill Vertes gets to throw out her favorite word–favoritism–regarding the minis. It’s status quo once again!

In case you missed the first fifteen hours of this season, Jill is sick and tired of the mini team taking Abby’s attention away from Kendall and the elite team. However, she’s the loudest to cheer when Abby announces yet again that the minis’ latest group routine garnered the most points. In fact, it’s Holly Frazier who is first to challenge Abby regarding the drama surrounding last week’s competition. Kira happily joins in and Jill quickly stops cheering and starts chastising. Stacey, the only mini mom whose name I’ve chosen to learn, is very vocal about how horrible the veteran moms are. Lather, rinse, repeat, week after week, season after season.



On last night’s Below Deck, the guests are vomiting, the pool almost drifts out to sea, trouble brews between the newly besotted duo of Emily Warburton-Adam and Ben Robinson, and Ben’s open resentment of Kate Chastain grows. Kelley Johnson is also not having a stellar week as tension continues to rise between Captain Lee Rosbach and him.

But none of that really matters because this happens: Kyle Dixon confesses that he “came out” to his parents at one point in his life, and that he prefers sex with transgender partners.

Okay. Either Kyle is desperately trying to take the place of Trevor Walker as most bizarre deckhand ever, or he’s hatching a cover story to mask his icky feelings after Sierra Storm stone cold rejected him last week. In any case, our boy Kyle appears to be TOTALLY INSANE!


Vicki is all by herself

Must every season of Real Housewives Of Orange County end with ‘The Persecution Of Vicki Gunvalson?’ Do we have to muster up the energy to care about that again? Didn’t we see this finale last year?

Vicki does reprehensible things and doesn’t understand that they’re reprehensible. She also can’t apologize for hurting people’s feelings. Briana is right about that. Yet, for all Briana’s parenting of her mother, Vicki refuses to see the reality that people don’t forget things you’ve said or done because you give them a good whoop it up or two. Vicki’s version of friendships are as deep as one night stands. Although I honestly don’t know that I would be offering sincere apologies to any of these biatches either. Do any of them really deserve one? Truly?

I imagine that Tamra Judge, Heather Dubrow, and Shannon Beador see themselves as victorious after last night’s episode – they have triumphed in the face of evil, stood in solidarity, and exorcised the devil. Yeah, except, not cause the devil is inside.



In honor of Halloween, last night’s finale of Real Housewives Of New Jersey was like a twisted fairy tale of modern evil, the moral being that sometimes the wrong witch gets pushed into an oven, while the other escapes on foot through the forest hoping the evil doesn’t catch up with her.

Siggy Flicker tried to reunify the group, but lunch didn’t even get served before the ladies were fleeing the coop in various states of undress. Only on Bravo do ‘ladies who lunch’ turn into ladies of the night who run Louboutin-less through a parking lot, stalking like zombies after the brainless one who got away. And over the railroad tracks to Jacqueline Laurita‘s asylum they go!



“You can’t fix stupid.” No, that’s not the official slogan of 90 Day Fiance (even though it should be). It’s what Anfisa tells Jorge this week when he begs her to stay in the country after she kicks him out of their apartment and packs her bags for home. But is she bluffing? At the end of her five-week trip to Morocco, Nicole also faces a crossroads with Azan. Will he come to the U.S. on a K1 visa, or will he breathe a deep sigh of relief, waving goodbye forever to Nicole and her giant bag of bullsh*t from the airport window?

Lowo and Narkyia are also trudging down their own disillusioned path, as Narkyia actually flies to Vietnam to check out Lowo’s sketchy story for herself! Chantel and Pedro face the wrath of her parents, while Matt decides to make some very bad choices at a bachelor party before his wedding to Alla. As a reminder, this is Matt’s FOURTH marriage, thus his fourth bachelor party. You know – Danielle and Mohammed aside – TLC has really outdone themselves this season with this motley crew! If these people were not literally filmed on camera for all to see, no one would believe their level of idiocy actually exists.