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SASHA FARBER, LISA VANDERPUMP

Sequins! Spray Tans! (Semi) Stars! Season 16 of Dancing with the Stars
 
Hosts Tom Bergeron and Brooke Burke-Charvet introduce us to this season’s stars. We have two country singers, a boxer, a soap star, a Lisa Vanderpump, two comedians, a Disney kid, a Bachelor, a gymnast, a figure skater, and a football player.
 
 
Rehearsal: Kellie, the roller-skating waitress turned American Idol hopeful turned award-winning country music singer/songwriter, is cute, funny, and spunky. And a natural dancer. Kellie says that she kids around a lot but definitely wants to take Derek's balls, err, the mirror ball home with her. Though, since Derek is the Dancing with the Stars golden boy, there isn't much difference. 
 
Cha Cha Cha: The hips, the tassels, the legs, OMG. Kellie has an amazing body and knows how to move it. 
 
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I cannot believe it is the season finale of Gypsy Sisters!

Normally I would argue that seven episodes was not enough for a season, but the level of catastrophic drama that these women were able to squeeze in seven episodes, I think I would be kind of scared to think what we would have witnessed had anymore aired. I mean how can you top; weddings, pregnancies, teen romance, paternity scandals, bachelorette parties, jail sentences, hospital visits, violent outbursts, family in and out the slammer, MIA parents and annulments to name just a few of the standout moments.. But more than anything we have seen these Gypsy Sisters; fight, smack talk, threaten, cuss, bitch and bicker like they are at war with one another.. and nothing is off limits during a Gypsy feud my friends! Did I mention the cussing?!

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I don't know about you, but I wish the producers of Teen Mom 2 would ban their little starlets from any type of social media and ban them from the tabloids…at least during the season.  I'd be a lot more inclined to root for Jenelle Evans if I didn't know what a train wreck she's become.  Also, I'd be more invested in Leah Messer Simms Calvert's love triangle and Kailyn Lowry's attempt to make Jo jealous if I didn't already know the ending.  As for Chelsea Houska, I'm glad to see that beauty school is going so well…but that's the only surprise of the season!

Kailyn is finished with school for the summer, and she's excited to spend more time with Javi and Isaac.  I'll give it to Javi…he's really great with Isaac.  Of course, she's yet to set up any kind of co-parenting counseling with Jo.  Kailyn is ready for Javi to move in since he's spent every night at her place for months.  Let's break it down…she's ready for Javi to stop freeloading and help with the rent and the cleaning.  Kailyn admits she doesn't want to hold against him the fact that she foots the bill should the two argue.  Again, I find it hilarious (and I know I write this every week!) that she wants a live-in boyfriend, yet Jo's girlfriend can't even be on the same premises as Isaac.  Kailyn is just ready to get married.  At twenty, she isn't getting any younger.  MTV needs a swift kick in the pants for glorifying these girls!

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Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills we got the answer to an important question: Who is Faye Resnick in this world? She is morally corrupt, desperate, ruthless, ill-mannered and really quite frankly a hot judgmental mess. Hey honey you got your camera time and you got to do it all while wearing a Barbie's Dream Collection seafoam Mother-of-the-bride inspired tacky-a$$ nightmare. No amount of borrowed David's Bridal will make you a lady!

I really wish I didn't have to discuss Fayded Retchnick at all on this blog because I don't want to give her any attention or satisfaction – which is exactly what people like her are looking for – but I suppose I have to. But before we are forced to contend with the horrible… 

Things begin with Lisa Vanderpump and Ken planning their vow renewal. Lisa is nervous and cute about a public display, but she knows it means a lot to Ken. And most endearingly after 30 years of marriage you can tell they truly do adore each other and are blissfully happy. 

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Should I be concerned that Love & Hip Hop is going soft of me?  Last night's episode was a veritable love fest with friendship, mended fences, and a long-awaited engagement.  What happened to the screaming and hair pulling and drink throwing?  Not that I'm complaining, it's just a foreign concept.

We begin as a frazzled Erica Mena meets with Yandy Smith to share that Olivia Longott is recording her ballad thanks to Rich Dollaz.  She can't believe that her ex-boyfriend would use that against her.  Yandy asks about what Erica wants to do with management.  Erica still wants to ignore the fact having a manager is important for her career.  Yandy reminds her that Rich was the only person in her corner…Erica needs Rich more than he needs her. 

Tahiry Jose's mom is in town and loves seeing her daughter's rap magazine centerfold.  Tahiry is excited that she and her mother finally have an adult friendship after a tense childhood.  They discuss their past, including how her father juggled his twelve kids before being deported.  Her trust issues do seem to come honestly, that's for sure.  The duo is crying over her father's indiscretions, and Tahiry thinks that many of her past issues have contributed to her problems with Joe Budden.  Her mother encourages Tahiry to talk things out with her dad.

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Last night on The Rachel Zoe Project, Rachel Zoe faced her critics, struggled with buyers over Maxi dress madness, continued her journey to actually understand what her husband does within her company and used a fur hat as fashion Xanax.

The episode starts in New York on the terrace; Rachel and Rodger are having a breakfast whilst basking in the glory of her successful show. Rachel starts complaining she hasn’t slept in like 3-4 weeks because she has been so stressed about her show. Rachel may have forgotten that most moms also suffer from a lack of sleep, it’s not just something for fashion designing moms.  Rachel is procrastinating reading her reviews, and after some encouragement from Rodger she takes the plunge. She is pleased with the response and annoyed at her husband’s Goosebumps.

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This isn't your everyday train wreck. Watching Big Rich Atlanta is like watching a circus train derail. And I love every second of it.

Virginia Kolb is mortified to learn that her daughters, Harvin Eadon and Meyer Eadon, left Marcia Marchman's Halloween party through a window. 

What every mother wants to hear during breakfast, err, lunch time: Mom, rather than leave last night's party like civilized beings, we jumped out a window. Actually, we were so drunk, we kind of just fell out. (paraphrased)
 
What Virginia fears she'll see in the town's gossip column: "Inebriated Broke Down Baby Dolls Fall Out Window" or "Mama Goose's Daughters: Drunk And Out Of Control"
 
What Harvin and Meyer (probably) often hear during breakfast, err, lunch time: I hope nobody saw you do that. 
 
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I'm starting to wonder if a storm is brewing with the ladies of Mob Wives.  So far, everyone has been very civil.  Renee Graziano and Drita D'avanzo decided to take out their stress through good ol' fashioned physical exercise, while Big Ang gets enough of a work out holding up her giant jugs.   Ramona Rizzo and Karen Gravano were actually cordial to Dave's new girlfriend.  Of course, Love Majewski still wants to beat Carla Facciolo's behind, but the pair has yet to meet.  Where was Carla last night, anyway?

Last night begins as Ramona and Karen are heading to Karen's brother's storage facility to see if there is any evidence which would allow Karen's father's case to be reopened.  There are boxes of trial transcripts and taped conversations.  This is not going to be an easy task. 

Renee shares with son A.J. that she's going to get an attack dog.  He wants to slap her when he hears the pooch could cost upwards of twenty thousand dollars.  A.J. thinks that his mom's paranoia are humorous.  He wants his mom to lighten up and relax.  She's hoping that they can do some mother-son bonding in a Krav Maga class.  Not only will it allow the pair to spend time together, it will be another outlet for Renee's aggression.  Yeah, that's not going to happen.  A.J. tells his mother he isn't going along for the ride as she channels her inner Jackie Chan.  Renee then practices some of her wrestling techniques on A.J. in a cute family moment. He really seems like a good kid.

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