Raise your hand if you are still reeling from Dorinda Medley’sversion of Festivus last week? (I’m raising both, as if arrested. For indecent TV watching while under the influence of Diet Coke.) Well, apparently we can forget all of that! For we’re poised to move on as fast these women do when air-kissing after slut-shaming, because it’s the moment we’ve all lived through already been waiting for: Carole Radziwill’s election party!
Get ready to take five cleansing breaths, friends, because this week The Real Housewives Of New York takes us through the moments leading up to election day right through its aftermath: otherwise known as Ramona Singer’s surprise 60th birthday party. Which she nearly screws up by double booking another date during said party. (And who – by the way – shows up at her party later, only to be summarily shunned!) With all of the drama surrounding these two heady events, Sonja Morgan’s love life nearly gets lost in the shuffle. <single tear> She’s created a love triangle of sorts because she is the eternal ‘it girl,’ dontchaknow? THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE! #TinsleyGoals
Nothing gets me more pumped for a new Real Housewives season than the taglines reveal. These are the phrases that each Housewife says at the start of each episode. They (usually) entertain and set the tone for what to expect from each cast member that season.
Now that the Real Housewives of New York taglines have been released I cannot help (over) analyzing about what’s about to go down in the new season.
I don’t know about you, but I’m really feeling this season of Real Housewives of New York. There has been some crazy shit going down in every episode. I was all about this last episode’s drama, but Carole Radziwill was not feeling it.
Maybe it’s because she was barely in the episode? But either way, Carolemade it clear that she was not into the episode at all.
I would hate to be on Carole Radziwill‘s bad side. As a writer, she really knows how to deliver the most cutting digs and throw the best shade. And now that she and Bethenny Frankel are at BFF status, she is not just defending herself: she’s also going to bat for her girl Bethennyduring this season of Real Housewives of New York City.
“This episode was all about trying to connect and being supportive of each other,” begins Dorinda, “I’M SURE YOU HAVE NOTICED, ahem…the way we communicate sometimes does not support this theory.” Excited that Bethenny coordinated an event for the group, albeit a cupcake event, Dorinda says, “it shows she really is making an effort with us—she likes us. It’s sort of a grownup playdate, with cake batter and frosting. It also proved to be an opportunity to bring out a competitive side from the girls.” With each woman taking her particular brand of neuroses out on the innocent cupcakes before her, Dorinda reflects how “Ramona was contemplative and methodical, Sonja was light-hearted but with flair, and Bethenny was all business (put frosting on cake, put in box, move onto next cake…). I was thinking about it…Which color? Which pattern? Does it make me look taller? (That’s really all I ask myself every morning.)”
Lady Morgan opens with her reaction to the ladies’ commentary on her many “business” ventures whilst brunching at Bethenny Frankel’sHamptons home last episode. “Welcome back to the bitches who brunch!” says Sonja, “I’m disappointed to see that the girls are being vile and continuing to attack me and claim that I do not have legitimate business deals going on. Especially to Bethenny,who has not seen us frequently since she had little Bryn. Gawd forbid Bethenny believes this horse sh–. Luann [de Lesseps], Kristen [Taekman], Heather [Thomson], and Carole [Radiziwill]all claimed that I am not really a businesswoman, that all of my ideas are not coming to fruition, that I don’t work every day, and that I didn’t make the toaster oven.” She adds, “That should get a few laughs from those who know.” Huh? Sonja goes further down the rabbit hole of her argument, saying the girls should’t talk badly about her even if she IS deLUUUUUUSional! “But even if I was not successful and were delusional, as the girls say in Bethanny’s (sic) kitchen, what kind of friends badmouth another friend like that?”
I don’t know about you, but I could watch a GIF of Luann de Lesseps‘ saying “Everybody be cool…don’t be all…uncool” on constant rotation right now on my TV and it wouldn’t get old. This season’s Housewives MVP for “Best Transformation From Frigid Condescending Countess to Cool Chick I’d Love to Hang Out With in the Hamptons” goes to: LUANN!
Luann starts out her Real Housewives of New YorkBravo blog this week by claiming, “This is one of my favorite episodes this season.” Citing the origins of her estate sale idea, Luann tells us that the new owners planned on building a “mega mansion” on the property and were going to tear her old house down. “So I figured: Why not sell it all? And voila! Banisters, flooring, kitchen, and bathroom fixtures…all found their way to new happy homes! It was a really great way for me to move on to the next chapter of my life, and I am loving this chapter of my life!” says Luann. She adds, “Of course, it was a little weird having people sift through my stuff, but decluttering and letting go of things I’d been holding onto for years was so freeing.”
In her Bravo blog, new gal Dorinda Medley gives us her take on this season’s start of the Real Housewives on New York, and she keeps her cheese on her cracker and her napkin in her lap for now. (But wouldn’t it be incredible to see her let loose at some point? Please let that happen at a future Sonja Morgan burlesque circus side show!) Dorinda starts her blog by announcing her Berkshires allegiance: “As you may or may not know, I am not a Hamptons girl; I am #TeamBerkshires. But hey, this could be fun too, right?”
As close as Dorinda and Ramona Singer have been over the years, she’d never been to Ramona’s Hamptons home. Hmm. Fishy? Displacing Sonja Morgan in the guest suite was a first-time perk! “Meeting Lady Morgan was a nice little adventure, too. She’s so beautiful. And I can totally see why Ramona gets flustered with her and her tendency to monopolize a conversation. But Sonja is a trip. I really like her,” Dorinda kindly says…because she doesn’t want to be labeled the “Bethenny” of the group yet.