The first season ofSouthern Charm Savannah came to a conclusion last night, and I’m a more than a bit perplexed. There was a charity ball with zero attendance, but clearly the guest list was minimal at best if ten folks on a boat caused the colossal no-show. Additionally, there was a botched proposal, and if it was sincere, it was pretty sad. Other than that, we’ve made it through this not well thought out spin-off, and for that, we all deserve a mint julep (or a hurricane on River Street! OR BOTH!!).
Catherine Cooper heads to mentor Brandon’s house for champagne and cheese. It’s not going to take a lot of Brie for Brandon to chastise Catherine for not being committed to interior design. She admits to having a big fear of failure, and she has been coasting through life. Catherine is at a crossroads, and she doesn’t want to keep wasting her potential…whatever it is. Brandon jokes that maybe she just needs to settle into domestic bliss with Lyle McKenzie and their future brood, but that isn’t what Catherine has in mind. She tentatively believes she may be ready for the next step, but she looks like she may vomit as she says it.
Southern Charm Savannah, oh how you’ve tried. We’ve almost wrapped the first season with this spin-off, and it wasn’t as well received as I would have anticipated. Don’t get me wrong, I like the crew as a whole, but there’s just not that much to watch. If Ashley Borderswasn’t creating stories in her head, playing the victim, and managing to strip at any given time, we’d just be watching a group of wealthy thirty-somethings with a penchant for partying. Been there, seen that.
Last night’s episode begins with a trip to St. Simons Island. Jealous! Much to Hannah Pearson’sdismay, Louis Oswald is planning the ultimate tailgate at Hannah’s father’s house in St. Simons for the Florida/Georgia game. Being the most clueless boyfriend on the planet, he’s included Ashley on the guest list. Ashley is driving Nelson to the South’s biggest cocktail party while complaining that Hannah has a dress company and didn’t think to consult her about it. The nerve! Hannah feels awkward arriving at her family’s beach house. Since her dad married a woman close to her age, it doesn’t have the same memories as it does now. However, Louis has promised to be the host with the most alongside his potential future father-in-law. So he forgot the oysters–big deal. Louis wonders why this party has to be some reception-grade event on Hannah’s radar. What’s wrong with Natty Lite and some Fritos? When game time rolls around, there are still streamers to be hung and tables to be assembled. Both tasks fall on Hannah and her dad. As Hannah nags Louis about his duties, he is confused as to what is wrong. Napkins taken out of plastic wrap? He’s got it. Ice in coolers? Check. What’s so hard? As Hannah micro-manages Louis, her step-sister-mother and father joke about his demise.
On last night’s episode of Southern Charm Savannah, the crew is cleaning up the wreckage from Hurricane Matthew. While they can’t decide what was more devastating–the storm or that dinner party–Happy McCullough and Catherine Cooper are driving around assessing the damage. Happy admits that she was sickened by Nelson Lewis’ defense of his racist comments at the pre-Matthew dinner party, and Catherine is understanding…while giving Nelson Lewis the benefit of the doubt for just being an idiot.
Hannah Pearson‘s three sisters (one of whom is a Maggie Gyllenhaal clone) arrive from Atlanta and Denver for Louis‘ birthday celebration, and they dish on their parents’ divorce and their father’s subsequent random relationships. The split has been hard on the family, but it’s even more taxing now that their father has tasked his girls with bridging a friendship gap between him and their mother. Given the list of his recent dalliances and a description of their evening wear, I’m guessing that bridge is going to be
Not even Hurricane Matthew could drown my sorrows as I watched last night’s Southern Charm Savannah. I’m really trying here, y’all! For the most part, I like the cast (save a couple). Lyle has some great one-liners, and Hannah Pearson and Happy McCullough seem nice enough. I think I’d like drinking wine with them, right? Then why can’t I get invested in this spin-off? Not even a crossover could help!
Last night’s episode resumes with the cast gathered at that heated dinner party. As Daniel Eicholzcontinues to school Nelson Lewis on his racial slur, Nelson feigns shock and offense. How dare Daniel quote what he said in his own home? Daniel counters that if Nelson ever hears him say something offensive, he has Daniel’s full permission to call him out on it. Nelson wasn’t being genuinely racist, he just meant the term in an allegorical sense. Allegorical? Happy is in tears, and Azam comes to her defense as he tries to educate Nelson on how his words affect others. Louis is rolling his eyes at Nelson’s ignorance, as Happy recounts how it feels to be the victim of racism because of her relationship with Azam. Lyle McKenzie leads the charge to end the dinner party, as Nelson storms out ahead of the crowd. Is he a racist? HELL DAMN NO!
Oh Southern Charm Savannah….y’all need a lesson in dinner parties and The Glass Menagerie from folks who know. Last night’s episode was a master disaster disguised as a dinner party from hell. Y’all need to step up your game! But let’s get started with the recap, shall we?
In light of the recent fire (no pun intended), Ashley Borders and her friend Zia welcome a Gullah priestess to her home to bless the home and read the energy of the third floor. She prays in the room and releases the spirits to the other side. Before the Gullah priestess leaves, she reads Ashley’s palm and hints that big things are in her future. This news gives Ashley a glimmer of hope, and asks about the future of her marriage with Dennis, her high school sweetheart. Without missing a beat, the woman tells Ashley she hasn’t met her soulmate yet. I’m so glad that “soulmate” wasn’t a drinking game word last night, or the Southern Charm franchise would have killed me.
Are y’all feeling Southern Charm Savannah yet? I’m still on the fence. The people I enjoy aren’t really entertaining enough to carry a reality show (which is why they are slightly relatable), and the ones with the drama are grating AF on my nerves. Is it just me? Last night’s episode only solidified that aspect of the Bravo spinoff, that’s for sure!
If I ever meet Ashley Borders, remind me not to get in an argument with her. Sheesh! Poor Hannah Pearson attempts to express her opinion over her disdain for strip golf but ends up basically apologizing to Ashley for getting kicked out of youth group in eighth grade. Are you following? Me either. Ashley turns on the water works and blames Ashley for condemning her. Girls are always so mean to her–this is why she plays golf with boys!
Was it hot on last night’s Southern Charm Savannah or was it just me? And I’m not just talking about a faulty attic fan…temperatures were rising on the back nine at the country club! Prior to Ashley Borders‘ house catching fire, we learn a little about her relationship with husband Dennis. As she heads out for the fateful girls’ night, she admits that she and Dennis wed because she became pregnant with their son. When Izzie was a toddler, the pair divorced only to remarry a few years later for the sake of their son. Ashley reveals that she and Dennis haven’t had a sexual relationship since Izzie was born, but she realizes he was put in her life to save her son from this fire. She sees him in a different light now, and perhaps the flames of love will be rekindled.
Happy McCullough‘s family has been in Savannah for a really, really long time, and clearly she went to Savannah Country Day. While the expectation was she would settle down with a Savannah blue blood like herself, Episcopalian Happy is engaged to Atlanta native Azam who happens to be Muslim.While her very conservative grandmother has been nothing but supportive, her mother has been harder to convince. Happy’s mom dated Daniel’s dad for close to a decade, and he is Jewish. However, Happy’s mother argues that she didn’t marry him. Happy considers Daniel to be her brother even though their parents are no longer together, and he feels badly that her mother won’t come around where Azam is concerned.
Oh Lord. So basically Southern Charm Savannah is like Saved by the Bell: The New Class. Mr. Belding is the only common staple while the new kids are just caricatures of the original cast we’ve grown to love. In the case of these shows, a beautiful Southern backdrop is the common element while the new kids are a mish mash of our Charleston darlings. Nelson Lewis, with his European girlfriend and over-the-top elitism is basically Whitney-Sudler Smith with Cooper Ray’s one-liners. Ashley is Jenna from season one, back from the big city with a bit of an edge, while possessing the dinner party hosting skills of Thomas Ravenel. Lyle Mackenzie, Daniel Eicholz, and Louis Oswald are equal parts Shep Rose and Craig Conover, and Catherine Cooper wants to be Cameran Eubanks but she’s falling incredibly short.
Two years ago, a Savannah-raised law clerk at our firm spent lots of time name dropping Landon Clements and partying with Shep at Republic. He said Landon had enlisted him to help scout folks for a Savannah based spin-off that she was pitching to Bravo. Obviously, I didn’t believe him then and now I’m eating crow. That said, I’m hooked.