Noticeably missing from the reaction shots were Dina Manzo, Melissa Gorga, and Joe Gorga. Melissa took to her blog to explain why she didn’t let cameras into her home that day and throw a little shade at those who did.
Addressing the fans of the show, Melissa said, “We’ve been through so much together throughout the years. It’s not always easy being on reality TV. I’m not complaining, because obviously I signed up for it, but there are times I wish I could turn it on and off. Unfortunately I don’t have that option, so here we are.”
I don’t mean to be negative but compared to previous seasons this one was kind of weak sauce, no? I mean, Fabellini has more sparkle than last night’s finale did. And dare I say it, it’s far less tacky!
Really - what could possibly be more tacky than having your boobs, butt, and midriff hangout at a charity fashion show for children with cancer?! Oh wait – trying to start a fight at one… while your boobs threaten to pop out of your Posche clearance special gown! When you get a reputation for running out of stores without paying for the clothes, I suppose you get stuck with the Posche end of the season leftover sale! Pass the Dunkin’ Donuts – the twins and their DDs are out to play.
Who exactly was Teresa gossiping about it to, again? Dina Manzo? I mean, if you’re gonna blame anyone, blame Rino – he’s the one who told the story to begin with! I guess everyone is afraid to blame Victoria!
Jacqueline Laurita is back and she’s hasn’t changed a bit – still bringing both the maturity and the class! She’s slurping wine through a straw and getting as my husband calls it “loadie” (drunkboots). So loadie she forgets how many kids she has… And we all know what happens when Cacklin’-Jacqueline gets tipsy: drunk lips, sink ships! Or in this case drunk lips, might mean mob hits.
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from this week! Enjoy!
Oh Florida – poor state victimized by Jersification at the hands of Real Housewives Of New Jersey. They spewed their drama all over your pure Boca beaches and left nothing but the reeking wreckage of poison, Dunkin’ Donuts cups, purloined Virginia Slims, and deflated twins.
Jim and Amber Marchese are holding the living room hostage and Bobby has finally emerged from the bathroom. What a good little trooper! Mommy wiped his tushy and he skulked downstairs to be polite. Bobby is afraid of a pissy Jimonster revealing his secrets – like that secret girlfriend he has stashed away! And Jim has seen photographic proof!
Bobby denies it, then stomps back upstairs to hide in the bathroom. But not before yelling “Figaaarooooo” from the top of the stairs. Bobby the expression is, “It’s not over til the fat lady sings.” Unfortunately your IQ under 12 misinterpreted that as, “It’s not over until the stumpy guido bellows off-key.” Lucky for Bobby he has ever-desperate ever-loving Nicole Napolitano to hold down the fort from HurricaneJim. She fails. Big time.
Last night Hurricane Jim hit the shores of Florida (well Boca anyway) and he destroyed all Real Housewives Of New Jersey stars in his wake. Teresa Giudice must have had advance notice that dirty secrets were going to be strewn far and wide which is why she stayed home to color pitchurs, mispronounce her own last name, and respond to texes.
Things started out innocently enough. The Florida division of the RHONJ ladies went swampin’ in their most appropriate of appropriate boat shoes: high heels. Those twins – they sure know how to work a look. #sarcasm On the gator farm, Dina Manzo meets her future pet soulmate: a tailless baby alligator whom she smuggles into her purse and clutches for zen-renity (zen serenity) throughout the night’s escapades.
It is well known that Dina is psychic she feels something is about to rock this boat. And Dina has a little inkling its last name is “Marchese” and it has to do with this little secret she was tasked with guarding and protecting. As the group was about to find out, the gators were the least dangerous thing they were to encounter in Florida.
Last night the ladies of Real Housewives Of New Jersey headed to Florida, where things were all scary murky foreshadowing and things that go bump in the night – before next week when the ghosts jump out and attack!
Melissa Gorga is euphoric because she left her four children at home in the care of eldest Joe Gorga, who resents babysitting and is just letting the younger kids smack each other and eat junk food while he threatens to break the internet like it was Juicy’s face (we all saw how successful he was at that last season!). Meanwhile mama is getting sauced up under the Florida sun and flaunting what the good doctor gave her. Of course Dina Manzo planned the trip to Boca, where everyone is 80 (or how old Dina acts) and the house looks like something out of “Miami Vice” according to Teresssssa Aprea. She’s used to that – Don Johnson is clearly Rino’s fashion inspiration.