Judge me if you must but I have to keep it real when I admit that I’ve seen every single Real Housewives episode multiple times. With that said, I cannot help favoring some story lines over others – the Real Housewives story lines that got dragged out way longer than they ever should have.
Some of these plot lines were juicy at first, but just got beat to the ground. Then there are other things that happened that none of us cared about, yet they got dragged out for two or more seasons. Either way, there are plenty of story lines that did more than outstay their welcome.
Lisa Vanderpump has remained on the outside of the drama so far this season on Real Housewives of Beverly. Something I’m sure she’s grateful for after being the center of it all last time around. So far this season she’s standing firm in her support of Kyle Richards and is now a little glad that we’re all going to see the real Lisa Rinna.
Lisa starts off a bit gleeful over the tides turning, “Mmmm, so things are changing rapidly in the hills of Beverly… But the more things change, maybe the more they stay the same. Last year was extraordinarily difficult as I battled and endured the wrath from ED and LR over a conversation that had happened many months prior between LR and myself, a conversation that was the catalyst for the vitriol that emerged. But she was stalwart in her opinion that her recollection was accurate to a tee, emphatic as she tried to drag my character through the dirt. Her recollecting skills aren’t as accurate as she maintains, clearly.”
One of my favorite thing about the start of new Real Housewives seasons is the revelation of the stars tag lines in the show introductions. It sets the tone for the season and hints at what we can expect from the cast members. That’s why I wish the Vanderpump Rules cast had tag lines each season.
Unfortunately, I have zero power at Bravo, but I put a lot of thought into this and came up with some ideas in case Andy Cohen, or whoever else is important at the network, wants to borrow some of my words for inspiration.
When Eden Sassoon rolled the dice by confessing secrets to Lisa Vanderpump this week on The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, she won big. At least, that is how she sees it. After sharing information that Lisa Rinna had given her about Kim Richards being “mostly sober” and “this close to dying,” Eden feels like the group may understand her meddling a bit better now. (But, let’s get real: It was still intrusive and creepy as hell!)
Eden explains, “It was very important that I had that lunch with Vanderpump. She told me straight up that I should not mess with her friend Kyle [Richards]. I respected that and her so much! I didn’t have a chance to tell anyone about what Lisa Rinna had told me. Well maybe it was that I didn’t want to make the situation worse for Rinna, because I didn’t want to be gossiping about my ‘friend.’ But when I saw what Rinna was doing to me, you know, pretending like she didn’t tell me that ‘Kim is near death,’ not defending me in any situation with Kyle and Kim, and acting like I was obsessed with Kim’s sobriety, I had to speak the #TRUTH.”
Sometimes I get a little caught up as a super fan and forget that Vanderpump Rules and Lisa Vanderpump’s SUR restaurant are not always one in the same. There are plenty of SUR employees that don’t get any air time on the Bravo show. Nevertheless, I can’t help my association, and my mind was racing when I saw LVPlooking for SUR employees on Twitter.
Is this Lisa’s way of trying to shake things up on her (second) reality show? I mean, I know Lisa’s restaurants have managers and other people who could interview potential employees, so it just seemed a little out of left field for the big boss to tweet about wanting new waitresses and bartenders.
Lipsa may have been having a “mad moment” when she told Eden all about Kim Richards‘ very non-sober life (allegedly!), but Eden remembered every single word, which propelled her annoying badgering of the Twisted Sisters Richards about needing her help. Eden, tired of being hung out to dry in the cold whipping winds of Housewives, came to pay her respect to the queen, Lisa Vanderpump, beseeching her to advocate on her behalf.
Sniff, sniff. Waving our hankies at Ladies Of London as it recedes on a slow tide of broken friendships, dusty castles, and tear-stained titles is all we can do now. Season three left us with more questions than answers. Like, is Caroline Stanbury okay with Sophie Stanbury and Adela King these days? (Answer: yes, according to recent Instagram posts.) Will Julie Montagu be able to stop vibrating long enough to save Mapperton, one Made In China tchotchke at a time? Can Juliet Angus possibly survive in London, sans Caroline S handing her marching orders?
And more to the point, will Marissa Hermer’s balls-to-the-wall press junket this week work in securing her a future spot on The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills? Or at least a meeting with Lisa Vanderpump about hubby Matt Hermer’s alleged plans to open a club in West Hollywood? (Because if that sh*t ain’t transparent, I don’t know what is.) Alas, one final, painful question remains: Will Bravo cancel Ladies Of London now that two of its cast members are, well, not in London anymore? Although Marissa and Caroline S likely plan on spending summers back in the UK, that might not be reason enough to keep filming. Maybe a cast shakeup will come our way. But I refuse to accept a dire outcome yet. So, chin up, good people! For now, we must keep calm and snark on! Because this finale was a doozie.
We’ve been ranking all the Real Housewives from every season, every franchise and its finally down to the final few. The queens of Bravo, if you will. Click here for Part 1 and Part 2 of our ranking.
What separates a good Housewife from a great one? For me, it’s the longevity of their dramas. Will their actions or comments forever define a franchise as Teresa Giudice‘s table flip did for New Jersey, or NeNe Leakes‘ “Close your legs to married men, Wig!” on Atlanta? A great Housewife doesn’t necessarily have to be likable, but she does have to be memorable, and defining. When you think of a particular show which Housewife comes to mind.