Mike Shay

Vanderpump Rules - Season 5

Trouble in SURidise? Not for Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz. They’re no Scheana Marie and Shay ready for divorce months after tying the knot on Vanderpump Rules. The never-before-happy couple now claims marriage has changed all that.

The cast recently attended a celebration for jewelry designer Kyle Chan where everyone reveled in romantic happiness. Who are these people??? What doppelgangers invaded SUR? Lisa Vanderpump…. are you out there?! Step away from the dogs for a second to save these people!

Poor Scheana

When Scheana Marie and Mike Shay’s separation was announced right before the last Vanderpump Rules premiere, I couldn’t help watching every episode with a bit of analysis. Whether Shay was in a scene or not, I couldn’t help reading into every single thing with the current knowledge that they were going through a divorce.

Weirdly enough, Jax Taylor was right when he said that he had “milk with a longer shelf life than that marriage.” Most viewers felt bad for Scheana after learning that Shay just left and drained all of their money, but there’s also a good amount of fans that felt like Scheana was putting up a front about how good the marriage actually was. Scheana explained why she lied about her relationship and Shay’s philandering and how she even planned out their “story line” before the show actually started.

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scheana-marie

The reality star formerly known as Scheana Marie Shay, now just Scheana Marie, was a guest co-host on The Tomorrow Show with Keven Undergaro this week. The Vanderpump Rules star spilled the tea on forking out $50,000 to ex-husband Mike Shay, on her new boyfriend, Robert Valletta, meeting Lisa Vanderpump, the possibility of getting remarried, her friendship with Lala Kent and so much more!

Vanderpump Rules Scheana and Mike married

While some Bravo divorces take eons, Scheana Marie‘s split from Mike Shay did not. I guess a cropped wedding gown = a cropped marriage and more cropped divorce, right?!

The Vanderpump Rules star filed for divorce in November, less than 3 years after getting married on the show. From the get-go their relationship was plagued by difficulties after Shay admitted to substance abuse problems and Scheana tried to fix it by making him drink tequila from a tampon and only party to get buzzed.

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pump-rules-reunion-shay

Well that’s it – another season of Vanderpump Rules done and done! But the third part of the reunion ended with quite a bang when Scheana Marie‘s estranged husband Mike Shay appeared to say everything and nothing at all.

Good lord – the girls on this show are ridiculous! Like Katie Maloney, nothing is ever Scheana’s fault as she just demands, cries, and throws tantrums then blames everyone else. Tom 2 – consider Shay your warning; Robert Valleta – consider Tom 2 your warning.

Before we witness Scheana Marie collapse into a cloud of pressed powder, we have much ground to cover. While Andy wasted time last week trying to make Stassi Schroeder‘s brother ‘happen,’ the reunion could have focused on all the drama between James Kennedy and Kristen Doute, or that time Tom 2 almost canceled his wedding while pooping in a wedding gown, as Tom 1 was crying in a Sia costume. Aaaaahhh… good times in New Orleans!

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Poor Scheana

This was a tough season of Vanderpump Rules for Scheana Marie . She returned to her original role as an outsider in the clique and she filed for divorce from Mike Shay. And now she has to relive it all in a three part reunion special.

Not only that, but Scheana is also discussing her new relationship with Robert Valletta and two times when Stassi Schroeder majorly offended her. And of course, she plugged her own solo project: an internet talk show.

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Lala

On part two of the Vanderpump Rules reunion Lala Kent was asked the hard questions, and Jax Taylor‘s d–k in a pic was put under harsh scrutiny once again. I can’t imagine how he and Brittany Cartwright get it on considering how fuzzy that thing is – I mean… (I’ll be here all week folks!)

One of the major revelations of last night – and I say this with full and utter complete sincerity – is that James Kennedy and Jax realized they are essentially the same person, separated only by a decade, a sexual conquest number, Botox treatments, and a British accent. And nobody pops the lid off a Jax In The Box quite like a James In The Box!

So, after Jax realizing that he’d spent the reunion sitting next to his evil twin, and recognizing that there is power in numbers, Jax gleefully announced that he welcomes a Return Of The James (the Sequel Part 2) to SUR. Then Andy Cohen asked if James would DJ his birthday party. See – everybody loves sober James!

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Sober James Kennedy

It’s official – sober James Kennedy is most definitely the world’s greatest DJ/reality TV villain/v-neck shirt wearer/bitchy uptight man child. And on part one of the Vanderpump Rules reunion it was most certainly James who won the night for me. Also Lala Kent came back, and it went well! So far…

First, priorities: we must delve into the wardrobe atrocities that always dominate these things. In this category Brittany Cartwright, bless her heart, was the worst offender. She was wearing what looked like a prom dress turned into stripper stage wear – clearly a Pinterest hack gone wrong.  Actually Brittany’s dress kinda looked like one of Katie Maloney‘s bridesmaids dresses.

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