When Scheana Marie and Mike Shay’s separation was announced right before the last Vanderpump Rules premiere, I couldn’t help watching every episode with a bit of analysis. Whether Shay was in a scene or not, I couldn’t help reading into every single thing with the current knowledge that they were going through a divorce.
Weirdly enough, Jax Taylor was right when he said that he had “milk with a longer shelf life than that marriage.” Most viewers felt bad for Scheana after learning that Shay just left and drained all of their money, but there’s also a good amount of fans that felt like Scheana was putting up a front about how good the marriage actually was. Scheana explained why she lied about her relationship and Shay’s philandering and how she even planned out their “story line” before the show actually started.
Well that’s it – another season of Vanderpump Rules done and done! But the third part of the reunion ended with quite a bang when Scheana Marie‘s estranged husband Mike Shay appeared to say everything and nothing at all.
Good lord – the girls on this show are ridiculous! Like Katie Maloney, nothing is ever Scheana’s fault as she just demands, cries, and throws tantrums then blames everyone else. Tom 2 – consider Shay your warning; Robert Valleta – consider Tom 2 your warning.
Before we witness Scheana Marie collapse into a cloud of pressed powder, we have much ground to cover. While Andywasted time last week trying to make Stassi Schroeder‘s brother ‘happen,’ the reunion could have focused on all the drama between James Kennedy and Kristen Doute, or that time Tom 2 almost canceled his wedding while pooping in a wedding gown, as Tom 1 was crying in a Sia costume. Aaaaahhh… good times in New Orleans!
This was a tough season of Vanderpump Rules for Scheana Marie . She returned to her original role as an outsider in the clique and she filed for divorce from Mike Shay. And now she has to relive it all in a three part reunion special.
Not only that, but Scheana is also discussing her new relationship with Robert Valletta and two times when Stassi Schroeder majorly offended her. And of course, she plugged her own solo project: an internet talk show.
On part two of the Vanderpump Rules reunion Lala Kent was asked the hard questions, and Jax Taylor‘s d–k in a pic was put under harsh scrutiny once again. I can’t imagine how he and Brittany Cartwright get it on considering how fuzzy that thing is – I mean… (I’ll be here all week folks!)
One of the major revelations of last night – and I say this with full and utter complete sincerity – is that James Kennedy and Jax realized they are essentially the same person, separated only by a decade, a sexual conquest number, Botox treatments, and a British accent. And nobody pops the lid off a Jax In The Box quite like a James In The Box!
So, after Jax realizing that he’d spent the reunion sitting next to his evil twin, and recognizing that there is power in numbers, Jax gleefully announced that he welcomes a Return Of The James (the Sequel Part 2) to SUR. Then Andy Cohen asked if James would DJ his birthday party. See – everybody loves sober James!
It’s official – sober James Kennedy is most definitely the world’s greatest DJ/reality TV villain/v-neck shirt wearer/bitchy uptight man child. And on part one of the Vanderpump Rules reunion it was most certainly James who won the night for me. Also Lala Kent came back, and it went well! So far…
First, priorities: we must delve into the wardrobe atrocities that always dominate these things. In this category Brittany Cartwright, bless her heart, was the worst offender. She was wearing what looked like a prom dress turned into stripper stage wear – clearly a Pinterest hack gone wrong. Actually Brittany’s dress kinda looked like one of Katie Maloney‘s bridesmaids dresses.
Although I am sad that this season of Vanderpump Rules season is coming to a close, there’s nothing I love more than those reunion episodes and part one seriously brought the entertainment. Not only that, but I got to enjoy the Southern Charm season premiere right after that. You’re probably going to judge me for admitting this, but it was the best Monday I’ve had in a while.