I know we’ve all referred to the stars of Vanderpump Rules as “Vanderpump Fools” but you know, if the condom fits! Happily some of these people have taken the tentative steps towards adulthood, however most of them are still mixing reiki with booze and wondering why their back hurts.
On part 2 of the reunion, Jax Taylor continued to be confused about, well, everything. Lala Kent defined feminism and her finances, and Katie Maloney cried about how amazing Tom Schwartz is. Regardless of how flawed it may be, it’s nice to finally see these two happy – especially considering how unhappy their wedding was!
Last night kicked off the Vanderpump Rules reunion and the main topic on the agenda were all the horrible relationships (what else?) floating like backwash in the half-drunk cocktails at SUR. From Tom Sandoval‘s gripes that Lisa Vanderpump doesn’t take him seriously as an entrepreneur and restaurant designer, to the many, many delusional thoughts of Scheana Marie Shay Famewhorini and her ROBsession.
Jax Taylor was on an emotional roller coaster, which wasn’t too different from Jax Taylor-coaster we’ve seen all season, except instead of depending on reiki master Kelsey to feel up his feelings, he was actually mourning the death of his father. Through his tears, Jax describes it as the worst thing that’s ever happened to him but the loss made him realize what an impossible mega-douche he’s been to everyone since, oh, time infinitum. It’s like someone held the evil stepmother’s mirror up to Jax and showed him the truth! That person was not Stassi Schroeder, shockingly.
Shep admitted that he doesn’t watch Vanderpump Rules and Jax admitted that he doesn’t watch his own show or Southern Charm. Nevertheless, they both had a lot to say about the drama on each other’s shows.
After a long, protracted, repetitive, and drawn-out season, Vanderpump Rules ended where it always does – in the beginning, with a tale of woe of Jax Taylor and Stassi Schroeder; two ships crossing in the night during a tsunami. Jax and Stassi didn’t have drama together (although Jax was gobsmacked by seeing Patrick in the flesh), but the epicenter of this show has always been Jax and Stassi.
Honestly it should because they’re both tragicomic heroes. Two people so miscalculating in their own effects, yet squandering so much potential that it almost makes me feel bad for them. All the characters on this show are like that to a degree, but none so poignantly as Jax or Stassi, one, a star-crossed failure, and the other a star-crossed hater who idealizes murder because she can’t confront her own painful insecurities.
Say what you want about James Kennedy, but no one can deny that he always brings the entertainment on Vanderpump Rules. The self-proclaimed “White Kanye West” is constantly defending himself from cheating accusations, blessing the fandom with original music, or saying something hilarious.
James opened up about which Real Housewivescast members he would collaborate with and his thoughts on all of the major story lines this season on Vanderpump Rules.
I really hate it when I have to confront political or social quagmires in a reality show – like when last night’s Vanderpump Rules address the oh-so-prescient ‘me too’ movement (albeit without actually saying the words). Ironically, given the (well-deserved) criticism she took for her own attitude and statements about other women who came forward, it was Stassi Schroeder raising alarm and complaining about people always defending men.
The man in question is Ariana Madix‘s brother Jeremy. Jeremy asks Billie Lee out on a date, which she’s excited about, but when she shares the good news with Stassi and Kristen Doute their four-way flashers immediately go on. Kristen warns Billie to keep the date “in public” and Stassi says Jeremy is “creepy.” Stassi recounts that at Katie Maloney‘s wedding Jeremy was hitting on her – and everyone else – in a way that was frankly uncomfortable and camera footage reveals him grabbing Stassi in a bear hug while promising to leave her alone. And it was creepy! And uncomfortable.
On last night’s Vanderpump Rules, the Toms demonstrated that age is just a number and even when you’re 35, you can still pretend to be 21 with no responsibilities. I guess when you have stunted bartender jobolescence, growing up is hard to do! Even if you have “buishischeness deschisions” to make!
SUR is back in action with a facelift, because Lisa Vanderpump turns raging fires into restaurant redesign, and everything winds up looking a little fresher and sparklier. The new chandelier at SUR has the added benefit of making everyone look younger. Tom and Jax look positively like their first season selves. Too bad all Hollywood ‘facelifts’ don’t turn out so well! This is all a prequel to Tom Tom, which the Toms will get a larger taste of during their ‘work trip’ to Vegas.
Lisa will show Tom 1 and Tom 2 “a day in the life of the Vanderpump regime.” Which is more than just design elements, but showing them what running an actual business looks like. A business which has nothing to do with pretend statement necklace collection, or ‘online beauty blogs’ that get updated once every 3 months. Or at least that’s her plan…